Late October Babies 2020 - Thread 5

[DressingGown87]

Thread 5 ladies!

Girls: @DressingGown87 @Jaffas22 @DogCatDex @EmmaA96 (twins) @Parks11 @LadyB90 @Strawberries4days @LST87 @sls668 @plentyofplants Uppsydaisy (Girl twin)

Boys: @sunbreak @FirstSurprise001 @WaveStreet @roarfeckingroar
@Mc3209 @KitKatKit @1990shopefulftm @Lolllyf @HelenMarie1001 @Freddie1987 @BS9790 @hmeadow24 @Ghostworld @roarfeckingroarr @Glooorb @mamavee @UpsyDaisy1234 (Boy twin) @Samk93

Surprise / Waiting
@60sPony @Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt @AdventureAhead @Elizag20 @justtb @Clalou83 @SJR86 @Flora20 @Watersintheclouds @Jaffas22 @justtb

If I have missed you! Sorry! I did quickly scan through the start of the last thread, to add people and update the list, but only did this quick.

@SamK93 I understand where you are coming from. Sometimes I choose not to say no too, especially in pregnancy (barring a short spell where my sex drive went through the roof, which went back down to zero around 20-22 weeks). I've been lucky that DH and I have similar sex drives generally. At the moment he wants it a bit less than usual, and I don't want it at all, but I still make an effort when he is in the mood. In principle, I don't have anything against porn, but I would have a heart to heart conversation over a glass of wine (for him) about it, and just tell him that him watching porn makes me feel like I am not able to give him something that he needs. If it's just another item "on the menu" for him, and not something he is using to cover up gaps that can be fixed, I probably would be ok with it.

@FirstSurprise001 I've definitely had days like that that and I'm not eating as much at one time - like you, I'm full of baby and there's no room for anything else! But re heartburn - mine had become unbearable and it was stopping me eating and even drinking, so I ended up asking my GP for help. I've got a prescription that has changed my life 😂 so if you're really struggling, might be worth considering!

@SamK93 Honestly - I'd be pissed off and would expect him to make time to talk to you about it. I don't know whether it's just how you've written it but it sounds as though you are putting his needs before yours pretty much all the time anyway (I don't know how you've managed to keep going with sex so regularly!) Keeping it secret and treating it as no big deal would be a big problem for me. X

@SamK93 personally, for me, I don’t really link sex in an intimate way and watching porn in the same kind of category so it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest unless we weren’t doing it at all and he was using porn very regularly. We are definitely not as regular at the moment, mainly because I fall asleep 3 seconds after laying down and he is slightly freaked out by the bump wriggling around at the same time.

Thank you for your reply @Flora20 makes me feel like I'm not overreacting about it because I know everyone has different opinions when it comes to this. Yeah sometimes I am putting his needs in front of mine just to make him happy. It's a tough subject but I'm the kind of person who likes everything out in the open and not brushed under the carpet.

@Sls668 I get where your coming from too maybe I just need to be more open minded about it.

@SamK93
I think some people would be fine with it and others wouldn't, but what matters is how it makes you feel and if it's upsetting you then your feelings are 100% justified. I think all you can do is be open and honest about how you are feeling and expect the same back from him. Good for you for keeping the sex life regular! I've definitely been failing at that and tbh my husband is just too freaked out by my bump so our sex life has been pretty non existent if I'm honest! We make sure we talk about it though and at the moment are both ok with that. Every couple are so different both as individuals and as a partnership so it's difficult to get advice from others about these things I think. I can totally see why you are upset and annoyed though especially if it's not the first time you've told him how you feel about it. Sometimes I think men are just a bit clueless to how we are feeling especially whilst we are trying to grow small humans!

Thank you for your reply @LadyB90 I haven't slept all night I came to bed at 12 and I'm still laying here I don't even know why. I just feel gutted more than anything, I tried to have a conversation with him and all I get is 'I'm sorry' which is just pissing me off more. I just didn't need this shit right now.

@SamK93 virtual hugs your way 😘 It sounds like your DH is not a talking type, which can be very frustrating.
Completely missed your question re prams earlier, I am still waddling through what looks like tons of similar prams for different prices. Might pop to John Lewis for a test drive to see which works best.

@SamK93 hope you got some sleep in the end and that you can have a proper conversation with him asap so you can get everything out in the open. Tell him what you've told us about how it makes you feel and I'm sure things will improve x

@SamK93 it would be a huge problem to me. I am anti porn in general but it would be a problem especially now because DP has been off sex due to stress and it would be a huge kick in the teeth if he were watching porn instead. Ultimately it's down to what is acceptable to you, but you shouldn't be putting yourself out constantly for his "needs" - he sounds selfish and demanding.

Stop spamming this group Evie. Your last post was deleted for a reason.

@SamK93 I can totally relate to your porn situation, I have had the same problem whilst being pregnant I think I posted for opinions on here few months ago.
I felt very upset by it, but didn’t know if it was just my hormones making me overreact.
It took me a while to speak to him about it because I didn’t want to cause an issue but I couldn’t let it go. He didn’t understand what the issue was because he doesn’t see it the same way as me. He saw it as a release for him so he wasn’t pestering me all the time whilst pregnant, however I saw it differently and did not like the fact he was watching women act in that way. Felt like I was not good enough.
I have let it go since but it does still come in my head now and again, he deletes his history on safari (I know that would set alarm bells off with some people) which makes me think he is still doing it however I do trust him and know he wouldn’t intentionally hurt me. But it is difficult.
Hope your feeling okay.

@Jaffas22 thank you so much for your post I related so much to that. I feel the exact same way. We haven't spoken in two days and literally 2am this morning I had to get it all off my chest. He said the same thing, he feels bad and said it was just a really bad habit. He said that it's nothing to do with me at all, and I shouldn't relate the two but I just cant help it. He didn't have much to say just that he's sorry, he's going to try and stop but it's nothing to do with me. I've told him I'm just not ok with it at all. He said he didn't like it that he hurt me. I think it's going to take me a while to get over and process. Some men just don't see the problem with it, they think we overreact but we see it as totally different to them. I've been feeling really down about it, it's hard. So much going on and it all just happens together, doesn't help. Thank you x

@roarfeckingroarr thanks, I appreciate your honest reply. It's just one of those things isn't it, everyone feels so differently about it. Some people don't see a problem with it and some do.

Anyway I hope your all doing okay, here's to another week x

Oooh the back ache has kicked in majorly over the last 2 days. I'm so sore. Hoping a nice hot bath and early night will help.

Hope everyone else is doing well

@Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt It's all kicking in now isn't it

Right I'm finally getting my shit together ladies! Am 32 weeks today, on annual leave from work so have washed a load of baby clothes in newborn/first size and 0-3 months, plus muslins, cellular blankets, cardigans, hats, socks and scratch mitts!

I'm having a little post lunch rest, but then I'm going to start packing my hospital bag (and babies stuff once it's dry...come on sun, I need you out today!)
Oh and my car seat is arriving today too. It's all go here 😆

@KitKatKit very jealous that you’re on annual leave and managing to get so much done! There’s not enough hours in the day at the moment 😫
I’ve semi packed my hospital bag (the most important things like snacks are done 🐷) but yet to put any baby stuff in!
What are everyone planning to bring baby home in? I want to see cute little piccies! 🥰

I like all white outfits for bringing baby home in. Something really fresh and new about it.

I've convinced myself baby is going to come early so I'm panic painting while persuading oh to get all of the baby gear out of the loft and adding snacks on to the asda delivery

@FirstSurprise001 no idea on the going home outfit, he'll only be in his car seat 10 minutes or so to get back home. what snacks are you packing?

@Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt I like white too! Think it’s got to be a sleepsuit too as I think they look so much bigger in proper outfits! 😂

@1990shopefulftm I’ve gone for Jaffa cakes, jelly babies, porridge pots as supposedly you’ll have access to hot water and then will just grab something savoury closer to the time like cheese crackers. Getting plenty of lucozade, coconut water (supposedly great for giving you energy even if it tastes grim!) and then a big water bottle.

@KitKatKit so jealous you have started washing all your clothes I cant wait. I'm off work now because I'm a healthcare worker and the current covid guidelines means you have to stop at 28 weeks but I'm not getting my furniture delivered until the end of the week so I have no where to put the clothes

@1990shopefulftm I'm the same as you, only live down the road from the hospital so not sure if there's much point in making a big deal out of the outfit, but I agree with @Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt - you can't go wrong with a super fresh white outfit, a lovely blanket and a cute hat 🥰

I can't believe how organised you all are with hospital bags already! I've got in mind some stuff to take but in terms of actually packing it...plus we're the same trying to madly finish a load of decorating so that's having to take priority right now.

I ended up washing a load of clothes and put them in our baby changing unit drawers then got really annoyed because I opened it to re-arrange and it all smells like Ikea mdf now 😂does anyone know anywhere to get natural smelling drawer liners or am I better off throwing some dried lavender in pouches and hoping for the best?!

@krissy12 I'm in a similar position in that we only have two drawers for baby clothes at the moment but I was planning on washing and storing in vacuum/storage bags for now so they stay fresh?

@Freddie1987 yeah I never even thought about the vacuum bags thats a good shout. also I got the drawer dividers from ikea that are like the little boxes i dont know if they would help with the MDF smell

@Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt oh yes, the backache is bad for me. Particularly through the night around my hips, I wake up feeling like I’ve slept in a cardboard box!

@FirstSurprise001 I’ve gone wild and bought way too many clothes but haven’t picked a specific one for coming home yet. We do have a pink ‘born in 2020’ sleepsuit from Next which I thought would be nice either for one of the first outfits or the coming home outfit. It’s a bit cliche but I feel like it should be one of her first outfits for photos, particularly with 2020 being such a big year!!!