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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 5

983 replies

Avocuddles · 16/07/2020 18:03

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SammiLou2312 · 11/08/2020 19:25

@Rachael321 eeek it's so exciting that you have date to be induced next week! Hope you are feeling ok.

@tmc14 I'm sorry you had such a frustrating time at the hospital. It really is unacceptable to leave you with no answers like that for 3 more weeks! I hope you have managed to calm down a little and that the scan you booked helps provides some answers and comfort.

I can't deal with this heat at all...had really bad heartburn all day too which sucks. On a funnier note, I had the breast feeding advisor pop round today to drop off some syringes for me to collect colostrum now for when baby arrives... unfortunately I was sat in the living room in my underwear with the fan on full blast trying to cool down lmao! My hubby had to answer the door and politely explain I couldn't come to the door myself as I had no pants on 😂 the advisor looked so concerned haha! Going to have some explaining to do when I speak to her next week on the phone. Hope you are all managing to stay cool x

AnxiousLady1 · 11/08/2020 19:28

It's been 35 degrees where I am since last Friday. Comes down to 30 by Thursday, then 26 Friday (supposedly). I'm genuinely a woman on the edge at this point. Have given up on work and getting absolutely nothing done in the house other than taking multiple cold showers.

Was thinking, and this might have been mentioned already, but now that we are nearing stage of starting to have graduates from this group, how do people feel about having a postgrad group? Appreciate everyone will have hands full, but would be nice to still have the support of being able to chat to ppl from here.

Knotemma · 11/08/2020 22:16

@Rachael321 having a date is so exciting!!! Can't believe you're at the point of counting down in days now.

@AnxiousLady1 I love the idea of a post grad group, definitely want to be able to keep in touch and I think that being able to separate from, but still support this awesome group is a good shout, as us talking about babies that are here might be a bit much for newer recruits who are still in the scariest stages of pregnancy after loss. (Not suggesting that the scary goes away, but I think we've all gotten better at having coping mechanisms and talking those things through as we've progresses through our pregnancies).

I can't get over how hot it is for you ladies, luckily I live in the nice cold north so it's only (?!?) Been 26-27 here. Still too hot for my liking. I did put one of those foot pack sock things (I'll add a picture of the packet) in the freezer for about ten minutes earlier and it was heavenly when I put it on. Think I might have to have the paddling pool out in the garden for my feet tomorrow, especially because dad has fixed my outside tap so I can fill it easily. I'm currently in bed with all the windows open and the fan going trying too cool down the room a bit for some sleep. Hope you can all get some rest xx

Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 5
Whiffle77 · 12/08/2020 08:51

24 weeks...another big milestone! Cant believe I am here 💞

Sorry to hear everyone else is struggling in the heat - I normally love it but its too much for me! I have had air con in the office the last few days but sweltering today.

Love the idea of a post grad group

@Bellsx 37wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 38wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 34wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 34wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 33wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 31wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 31wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake** 33 wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 33wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 32wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 32wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 31wks due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 32wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 31wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 30wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 30wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 27wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 26wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 24wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 23wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 17 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 16 weeks (due 24/01/21)

Knotemma · 12/08/2020 09:09

Another week gone, half way through the last week at work and really starting to feel like the final countdown (+10 points if you sang that!)

Lots going on to get my house in order, baby's "room" is pretty much sorted, though my sewing machine is still in there for the moment. Luckily my mam has been awesome coming and helping me out and my dad is gardening like a crazy man, so things are feeling much more organized.

@Whiffle77 congratulations on 24 weeks and viability, that's a massive milestone x

@Bellsx 37wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 38wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 34wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 34wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 34wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 31wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 31wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake** 33 wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 33wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 32wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 32wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 31wks due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 32wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 31wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 30wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 30wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 27wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 26wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 24wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 23wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 17 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 16 weeks (due 24/01/21)

Whiffle77 · 12/08/2020 09:48

Thanks @Knotemma. How are you feeling about finishing work? Part of me absolutely can't wait and part of me feels really sad! I run a team/area of my business and it feels very odd to think of someone else looking after it all! Still on the countdown mind Smile

Shefliesonherownwings · 12/08/2020 11:07

How is everyone doing, especially with the heat? We are super super lucky that we have an air con unit in the bedroom so sleeping isn't too bad at all, although even the air con has been struggling the last couple of days. It's too much of a beast to move elsewhere in the house so i'm spending a lot of time in bed at the mo, pretending to work.

Congrats on 24 weeks @Whiffle77 that's a fab milestone. I talked to my boss this morning and have confirmed my date for finishing work (only 7 weeks to go) and my mat leave date. I am taking 3 weeks annual leave before starting mat leave. I have loads of holiday to use but also I am too scared to get anything sorted before then. All the equipment and clothes we had for Isla is at my in laws and we've bought nothing new for this one yet so I suspect those three weeks will be spent going through everything. It'll be hard but i'm also hoping it'll mean those days go quickly.

Baby has been much more active this week, i got a video yesterday for DH as he was out when he started going mad, really looked like he was either having a party in there or trying to break out!

One thing we do want to buy for this baby, is a moses basket. We were given one for Isla but we've decided we do want to get this little one something that's just for him but i've no idea of what ones are good. I'd like one that is on a rocker ideally and the basket can be lifted off the base so I can carry it upstairs if necessary. Anyone got any good recommendations?

Knotemma · 12/08/2020 11:35

@Whiffle77 honestly I'm ready. I'm working on a project and have handed almost everything over, so I feel like I'm just sitting with the pc on 8 hours a day to say I'm there. I've got a few final bits to write up, but nearly everything is either complete or handed over. We're just starting the testing phase, so there's a bit of a lull for me anyway, but honestly I'm a bit bored. And when the weather has been like this I just keep thinking I could have been at the beach, not going to lie! I just feel like there's all sorts if rather be doing than working 😂.

@Shefliesonherownwings we went for a Mokee wool nest. It doesn't rock, but I'm not keen on the whicker baskets because I feel like they're a bit sharp? And a lot of them seem to have handles for show, that you aren't supposed to use if bub is in the basket. When I was looking my favourite of the traditional ones was the Claire de Lune Noah Pod, just because of the shape 🤷‍♀️. It's lovely that you're getting baby boy something of his own, as well as all of the gorgeous things he will share with Isla x

TunnocksTcake · 12/08/2020 12:00

@Rachael321 how exciting you have an induction date 😁😁😁

@AnxiousLady1 yes a postgrad group sounds like a lovely idea, would be great to stay in touch and support each other in the early hours!
Have you had your gtt results yet? I had a text from mw this morning to let me know it's all normal so assuming we will discuss options when I see her on 25th. Great news but I never really thought I had it anyway, I think she will just be long like me! 😊

@Whiffle77 congrats on 24 weeks, that is such a great milestone to have reached. 💕

@Shefliesonherownwings we just got one from Aldi as I have had multiple people tell me they are the best ones and also very cheap for something she will be in for 6 months max. Didn't want to spend a fortune knowing she's likely to be big!

Have all the ladies nearing the end decided on names? Obviously don't have to say what you've picked but I am struggling! I thought I would find something I loved and it would stick but that just hasn't happened. We have a list of names we like and I think we are going to wait til she's here now but i always seem to talk myself out of every name. Probably overthinking it but it feels like a huge decision 🙊

AnxiousLady1 · 12/08/2020 12:09

@TunnocksTcake - great that you got a good result with the GTT. I am still waiting for my results. They told me it would be a week. I have a MW appointment on Friday so I wonder if she will just wait until then to let me know. With the tests I did at my 11 week scan I didn't get talkd through the results until my 16 week call with MW, so I assume no news is good news really.

I thought the postgrad group was a nice idea to keep in touch and still be able to bounce ideas off each other once some rainbow babies start arriving. No doubt having a newborn will bring all of its own anxieties! I noticed another thread yesterday that seemed to be a group of people that progressed from a TTC thread, to a pregnancy one, then to a parenting one. Some of the babies were nearing a year, but it seemed nice they had gone through all that together and were still talking about things like teething etc!

Knotemma · 12/08/2020 14:34

I may be sat in a kids one ring paddling pool in out garden... The joys of a summer pregnancy 😂

Treaclepie19 · 12/08/2020 14:43

hi all!

@Rachael321 lovely to have a date to countdown to :)

I saw my consultant today and she's booked me in for a chat at 38 weeks so that if I want an inductjon at 39 weeks I can do.
Im 32 weeks currently and she said that pregnancy after loss is hard enough and with my SPD being so bad she would rather offer me an induction if i want one.
I'm not sure yet because I'd planned to be on MLU but we will see.

@TunnocksTcake we have a name decided! I'm a planner 🙈

With you all on the heat. It's way too much 🥵

AnxiousLady1 · 12/08/2020 14:53

@Knotemma - I stepped out to bring in laundry while my DH was watering the plants. He then hosed my feet lol. It was amazing, but he also pointed out when doing so that my ankles are swollen. I hadn't even realised...

@Treaclepie19 Another planner here. e also have name decided.

Just had a delivery of a 'try them all' cloth nappy kit. Super cute.

Knotemma · 12/08/2020 16:22

@AnxiousLady1 totally agree on the cuteness of cloth nappies, I've got my stash organised and put away and I'm so excited the start using them! I've got a mixture of pockets and flats with covers, so the gap is for my muslin flats to go in, once I get them hemmed (I'm making my own because I managed to get 2m of muslin for £4 and I thought I could play with sizes, doubling up etc 😂🤷‍♀️)

I'm with you on the swollen ankles, however both my parents were over yesterday and they're swollen too, so i feel like it's kind of unavoidable in this heat. That's definitely part of the reason for the paddling pool though, so I can sit and soak them in the cold water, then use it to water the garden 😂.

@Treaclepie19 great news that your consultant is being so supportive. As far as I know they're going to let me go all the way to overdue, but honestly I think because this pregnancy has been very healthy (other than all the sickness) that feels ok. Not sure I'll still feel that way if I'm still pregnant in October 😅.

@TunnocksTcake my DH won't even discuss names, so I have a kind of list in my head, but we were not decide until the goblin arrives. I really love the name Aurora if we have a girl, but I feel like it's all over the name boards at the moment, so that kind of puts me off. As an Emma I know what it's like to be one of 4 in a classroom/lecture hall/office (at one point I worked with 2 other Emma Louise's 😂). Boyd names are a bit different, we definitely want to use Ian as a middle name,as that's both our dads, but first names are totally up in the air. I agree that it's a lot of pressure!

Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 5
AnxiousLady1 · 12/08/2020 16:40

@Knotemma Oh my is that your nappy collection! So cute. And I appreciate the level of organisation.

We obviously know we are having a boy and I strongly wanted an Irish name. But it had to be one that wouldn't sentence the poor child to a lifetime of people struggling to spell or pronounce the name based on s
reading it, living in UK. So that really helped narrow our options down to 2 we agreed on. Then when we realised what 1 of the names meant it was almost a deal breaker. So it was agreed easily. Will share the name when he gets here 😁

Knotemma · 12/08/2020 16:46

@AnxiousLady1 I was really struggling for what to put them in, because I want to be able to see what I've got. Its just a double shoe organiser from Argos, was about £15 but I'm sure there are cheaper ones about! I've done it so all the newborn stuff is at the top and then the one size are lower down. Trying to make sure I just have an easy life with them once the Goblin arrives!

footprintsintheslow · 12/08/2020 16:51

Top tip for us pregnant mams:
Buy a cheap small paddling pool now (you will need it this time next year anyway for the baby). I know this sounds daft but I didn't realise how cool you get from dunking your feet I'm cold water.

SammiLou2312 · 12/08/2020 21:24

@Shefliesonherownwings we bought a Noah pod style moses basket on a rocking stand from Amazon (we got it during lockdown so was easier to do that and get it delivered) and absolutely love it. I'll attach a pic. It has handles but I think all moses baskets advise not to move them with baby in them. We have a travel system instead of just a pushchair and it comes with a basinette style attachment so will be using that downstairs if hubby isn't around to carry moses basket and stand down while I hold baby...

@TunnocksTcake glad to hear your GD test came back clear 😊
With regards to choosing a name, we actually settled on ours before we even knew we were having a girl haha and it's stuck ever since. We call her that all the time now so would be strange to change it. Some folk tend to be able to settle on a name really easily, others don't pick one for a few days after baby arrives. Don't stress about it, I'm sure you will find a name that is just right soon x

Hoping that it cools down a bit tonight. I need to try sleep. It's been so warm I have managed a couple hours broken sleep at best for last few nights. Driving me mad

Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 5
marmitecheesetoast · 12/08/2020 22:47

Oh my gosh the heat is too too much. I’ve been glad to join my toddler in her paddling pool! It’s really making my almost constant nausea worse Sad Don’t envy those of you much further along at all! Our very well insulted Victorian terrace is definitely not built for this heat!

Had my booking in appointment earlier this week. Quite emotional. My antenatal notes have a big rainbow sticker on the front. It took over 2 hours!! I guess booking in appointments are lengthy at the best of time’s and there’s a lot more to discuss after a stillbirth.

12 week scan next milestone to work towards. Hope that there is still a heartbeat then. It’s all just so terrifying.

So exciting those of you nearing the final stages, can’t wait to start hearing happy baby news Smile

footprintsintheslow · 13/08/2020 07:35

@marmitecheesetoast great that they've taken that time with you though and that your notes can be easily identified by staff.

How many weeks are you now?

Knotemma · 13/08/2020 07:55

@marmitecheesetoast glad that your booking appointment went well, having the right midwife can really make all the difference. Everything crossed for a positive 12 week scan for you, that wait is awful.

It's definitely cooler and quite foggy here this morning, hoping we're seeing a change. I know we haven't had it anywhere near as hot as a lot of you, but I'd love to be able to get my swollen feet looking a bit more like feet and less like Yorkshire puddings!

marmitecheesetoast · 13/08/2020 09:05

Thanks @footprintsintheslow @Knotemma I’m 8.5 weeks now. Found it pretty hard bringing another set of antenatal notes home. Also I totally broke down and had a big cry when she asked me how I was feeling about everything and how anxious I was. I just can’t bear putting DD through this again if this baby dies too, that’s the bit that’s really getting me. I just feel like my son died so suddenly so I’m struggling to take much reassurance from the taking aspirin and placenta scans from 23 weeks. But it’s just one day at a time isn’t it. I’m exhausted by it all already and have a very long road ahead.

I do feel very lucky to be at such a great specialist rainbow clinic and she said they’re really flexible and do (within reason) what you want. So she said she has some women going in every week for a scan/monitoring/listening to baby’s heartbeat and some women who can’t bear any scans at all. I think I’ll definitely be on the side of as much as checking in and monitoring as I can get!

Glad it’s a bit cooler for you today @Knotemma. I had terribly swollen feet by the end of pregnancy with DD I know it’s miserable. Get your DH to give you a nice foot and ankle massage!

Knotemma · 13/08/2020 09:10

@marmitecheesetoast a foot and ankle massage sounds awesome, I'll have to bother him tomorrow when he gets home from work!

MOGMOGMOG85 · 13/08/2020 09:32

I've been super quiet and feel like there is too much to catch up on here but congrats @Rachael321 on your induction date that's so exciting!

@Knotemma I love Aurora too! With I was having a girl, haha! Your organiser looks so great, it's making me jealous! We can't have anything in the house baby related as we're trying to sell and don't want to tip off buyers that we're essentially desperate, even though we are. I had a meltdown this morning, flat been on market 2 weeks and if we don't get an offer soon I don't see how we can complete in time. Moving after baby arrives is not an option as as soon as my income goes that's it our mortgage would go.... boyfriend talking about mortgage stuff this morning and I could feel my blood pressure rising just thinking and worrying about it, then I sneezed and there was blood everywhere so I had to go sit down, calm down with some frozen peas on my nose. I'm starting to think nosebleeds are actually quite handy in terms of forcing you to calm down when you need to - before I was pregnant I'd just get worked up about things without such an obvious physical indicator that I need to chill out! I might carry on doing the frozen peas thing when this is all over even without nosebleeds - its a nice little ritual to centre yourself with 15m of calm - well if that's even practical to do with a young baby just sit quietly for 15m hmmmmmm...

I started back at work this week, although only did Monday-Weds as I have 6 days annual leave to take this month. Oh my gosh the heat was unbearable whilst working outside, I pretty much got no work done but luckily my employers are understanding - I guess they have to be really given that I am pregnant and all. On my 2 months furlough the apprentice (I don't want to be rude but she is so so impractical, doesn't retain information and just doesn't have green fingers at all!) managed to kill 2 newly planted mature Acers which I moved myself during the awful wet winter and which practically killed me, an entire new border of Hydrangeas that I'd put in, a Pittosporum, a winter sweet shrub which I'd planted near a walkway so that in years to come the kids could enjoy the sweet scent whilst walking between classes, and the headmasters wife favourite daphne, as well as 2 chrysanthemums that the nursery teachers are really protective of and they're going to be really pissed about when they return! It was a bit disheartening, but I'm trying to cling onto the few things that I have planted which have flourished and which will leave my mark on the school long after I've gone (a rare little Japanese crab-apple, and an ornamental grapevine with amazing colour outside the nursery which will give the kids spring blossom and bright red crab apples and vine leaves to see in autumn and enjoy, as well as a few other bits and pieces around site). It feels very strange to be leaving as I know that a lot of my hard work will be undone knowing the school doesn't plan to replace me and is just using an apprentice with zero experience to do my work! They won't realise that they need someone else for a year or so when they start to notice just how bad the weed problems have become, as it takes a gardeners eye to spot some of these things in advance! Anyway, I'm holding onto that crab-apple tree, that's one thing I can feel pleased with at least! I'm perhaps going to have to say goodbye to gardening for a bit as I'm not sure how I can make it fit around my partners work, but I definitely plan to return in a couple of years, and hoping I won't be too disadvantaged in my career by taking a break.

Anyway I am still lurking on the group and watching everything but perhaps won't be replying as often as trying to sell the house and move is exhausting and stressful! Everyone send out some good vibes to the universe for a buyer for us soon, if we could get an offer in the next couple of weeks it would give me hope!

@Whiffle77 congrats on viability, that's great! I'll be there in a couple of days! I have started to feel him kicking now but only low down as I think my placenta blocks everything else. It's been about a week now and I'm sure it's kicks as it feels like muscle twitches or.... kicking, don't know how to describe it! It's mostly internal and particularly noticeable when he goes near or directly to my bladder!!!! Yesterday at work it was happening every hour, but I don't think he's woken up yet today. It's possible he's moving higher up at night and early in the morning and I just don't feel it, but he seems to be moving low down mostly in the afternoons, and since I've been back to work in the late mornings and lunchtimes sporadically. It's exciting but I'm nervous about starting to track as I know it's going to drive me insane! I don't think I can do the "lie down and count at set times twice a day" thing, as I don't think I can feel him unless he's in certain positions, so will just have to try and track as and when I can feel him.

My massive sympathies to everyone in the last trimester in this heat, phew!

xxxxx

Shefliesonherownwings · 13/08/2020 15:20

Thanks everyone for the moses basket recs, I didn't realise you weren't meant to pick them up with the baby in them so thanks for the tip! @SammiLou2312 I really like the look of your one, I may have to pinch that idea, it looks gorgeous.

I am with you all on the swollen ankles, my feet and ankles look like fat sausages. I had to wear socks and trainers for the first time on Monday and my feet were on fire when I got home.

We have a name already, there is a traadition in DHs family about the name for the first boy born, which ours will be, so I didn't get much choice. Luckily I like the name so we just need to decide on a middle one. It took us ages to agree on Isla, as DH kept vetoing everything but then he came around to that one and it was our only option. I'm so glad though, I love her name so much.

@marmitecheesetoast I was exactly the same at my booking in. DH had to fill in the background of losing Isla as I got too emotional. I also have the big rainbow sticker on my notes and I find it does help sonogrophers and receptionists be a bit more understanding. 100% take it one day at a time. I convinced myself before each appointment/scan that there would be no heartbeat and got really worked up. I still feel like that at 27 weeks but it is lessening now I feel movements. I try to say to myself that, today I am pregnant and there is no reason to think otherwise. Easier said than done of course. I find that the more monitoring, appointments and reassurance I can get, the better for me. Hugs. X

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