Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 5

[Avocuddles]

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@FloDaffodil Welcome and gentle congratulations. I'm not the best person for advice on the anxiety we all suffer, I'm almost 30 weeks and I still can't quite believe I might bring this baby home. I think maybe I feel a little better since 24 weeks, when I reached viability. But I'm still anxious daily, which I don't think I was with my son, even though I have a history of anxiety.

@Rachael321 Ah, loved the flurry of excitement there for a while! Really sorry about the pain the gallstones are causing you. I don't know much about gallstones, they sound awful, at a really sh*tty time. Hopefully they will be sorted quickly after birth.

@Avocuddles TOO HOT!!! haha. We have done nothing today. We're sat in the coolest part of the house doing as little as possible. Overdid it a bit yesterday at the allotment and felt awful in the afternoon, and it was a lot cooler than today. Was hoping to go blackberry picking but that will have to wait. On the plus side, my washing dried in about 15 minutes.

I had a call about my 30 week scan on Monday and they are now allowing partners in. It's a very small waiting room and I didn't think they would allow partners for ages, so things are definitely changing. It's a scan because I'm 40 and because my last birth was fairly traumatic (and a very large headed baby). So just for general checking. My husband can't come as he's got to look after our son, but they offered me the space for another person anyway, so they're definitely loosening things up (I'm in east London). Will give some hope to those who would really like their partners there for scans (I'd love my husband to come but can't leave my son with anyone else so we're a bit stuck with the status quo).

Hope everyone is keeping cool today, I was pregnant in the summer last time, although not as far along, I enjoyed having a winter baby, but this bit isn't that fun!

It's 38 degrees where I am. This is beyond ridiculous 🙈 Literally hiding inside a dark room.

@AnxiousLady1 Ah, not sure what it got to here, I think 35 or 36. I literally did nothing all day after putting the washing out at 10. I sat in the coolest part of the house and played on the floor with my son/watched tv with him as he was super hot too. I feel awful now. I've got an upset stomach and can't stop sweating. Can't imagine how I'd feel if I'd done something! So pleased it's supposed to be cooler tomorrow. I'm a winter person at the best of times, but being pregnant too is no fun. Hope the rest of you ladies are doing ok!

Hope everyone has survived the crazy heat today, especially those of you further along, it’s been sweltering.

I’ve not caught up on the thread properly but I’m having a proper wobble tonight. I’ve felt much less nauseous and much less exhausted today. To the point I’ve almost felt back to ‘normal’ today. I’ve got a bad feeling but can’t tell how much is because I’ve worked myself up into a state. This is just so horrible

@marmitecheesetoast sorry you had such a rubbish night, I completely understand those feelings and that sense of noticing when symptoms are lower. You don't need me to tell you that it doesn't have to mean anything, I know it's still so worrying and it's really hard. How are you feeling this morning? Hope you managed to sleep a bit.

Thanks @Hagster yes not a great night sleep. I am feeling sick this morning, although not as bad as I have other days so now I’m sat here wondering if I feel sick ‘enough’ 😳 I’ve not actually vomited for 2 days either. I think I’ve reached a whole new level of unhinged in the last 24 hours. Early scan on Wednesday. Feels like a lot of days to get through between now and then.

@marmitecheesetoast symptoms can be such a head f*ck, they just mess you around so much. I think you need to do some lovely things this weekend, maybe a nice pamper (I'm a big fan of those teatree bootie foot masks!) And lots of distraction to get you through to Wednesday!

I've had a slightly scary thought... The goblin will be here next month! All of a sudden that doesn't feel very far away, though I'm sure that with all the effort of lugging my increasingly massive body around it will feel like forever!

Hopefully the weather is a bit cooler for everyone today and we can all do something nice xx

Thanks @Knotemma yes distraction order of the day as much as possible. We were supposed to be going to DH’s parent’s garden today, first time I’ll have seen them since lockdown started and DS died, but we’re in Manchester so now back in local lockdown meaning we can’t go so now we’ve no plans today... We’re just our for a walk. DD is an early riser so at least we can get out early before it gets too busy. Other than that no idea how to fill the day today. It’s hard when you’re entertaining a threeager and can’t just do what you want! Maybe a spot of baking later.
We were supposed to be going up to my parent’s in Scotland at some point in August but guess that’s not going to happen now either. So sick of bloody Covid! Means I have to go on my own for the scan on Wednesday too. Seems ridiculous to be on my second pregnancy during a global pandemic.

Eek that’s exciting, it will go fast for you now! How are you feeling, do you feel prepared?

@marmitecheesetoast sorry that you've had to cancel your plans, it's definitely not ideal. Baking sounds like a lovely plan. In fact I might make some mars bar cake today, it's a while since we had it!

It's feeling a bit surreal that next month we will hopefully be bringing a baby home. I got our moses basket alternative yesterday and I'm over the moon with it. I have all the basics I need really, sleep space, pushchair, car seat and clothing basics. I've got newborn cloth nappies ordered that should be here fairly soon and I'm probably going to do my big Amazon order of bits this weekend now I have somewhere to put it all. I'm definitely starting to feel a lot more excited. Dh is starting to look a lot more terrified 😂. He couldn't get hold of me on the phone on Wednesday night, had a total freak out and then rang my dad to track me down bless him! However last night while we were walking I had some Braxton Hicks and he told me all about them from his app, as well as the fact that the goblin is now as long as a "tiny baby snow leopard" ( I can't recommend "Daddy up" enough as an app for partners, it's brilliant)

Gratuitous photo of my Mokee basket, I live it some much I think we'll use it as the main sleep.space to start with!

@marmitecheesetoast I definitely had days like that all through first trimester. I would feel really nauseous some days and others completely normal again. Some days I got sick and some days not at all. There was never any real pattern to it (if I would get sick in the morning, before bed, or not at all). So I understand how much that will be messing with your head. It's a rollercoaster between feeling rubbish and anxious on top of that, to feeling normal and anxious you don't feel rubbish enough.

Ah exciting @Knotemma

Thanks @AnxiousLady1 I’ve been feeling fairly rough again today so hopefully all is ok. I’m sure I probably had days where I felt better in my previous pregnancies but because I wasn’t hyper alert and anxious I just wouldn’t really have noticed them, or would have just enjoyed having a day of feeling better! Just got to try and get through from now until Wednesday

Well the sickness has definitely ramped up again this morning! 😅

Well that's great news @marmitecheesetoast Who knew how much we'd be pleased to be sick!

I've development some kind of weird third trimester hunger 😂 I mean I can always eat, and I'm having a good tea, but waking up between 4&5 needing the loo and breakfast 😂🙈 I'd had 2 bowls of fruity muesli with a big sprinkle of milled linseed before 6 this morning.

I've also started nesting in a really big way. I totally rearranged my kitchen cupboards yesterday, aching now from spending so much time on the floor!

In other quite exciting/scary news my cousin who is 4 weeks ahead of me pregnancy wise was taken in for induction last night due to pre eclampsia concerns, so we might be getting a baby today! She managed to keep her cooking up to 37 weeks which is excellent all things considered.

@Knotemma great news for your cousin!

Last night I woke at 2am wide awake and so went downstairs and sat reading the news. By 3am I was starving and so tucked into some leftover curry from the night before. Unfortunately the noise woke MIL (we're staying with them and looking at houses) and she came down to see me tucking into curry at 3am, so embarrassing!

To @marmitecheesetoast and anyone else worrying about morning sickness, I know I can't help you but basically my first trimester was a constant emotional rollercoaster of either feeling sick with worry that I wasn't sick enough, or so sick of feeling sick... my levels of nausea changed from hour to hour and unless I was feeling unbearably sick I was really anxious and worrying about it. It varies so much, and you can't predict whether something will go wrong based upon it, please don't worry about it! xx

22 weeks now and feeling so anxious about baby's movements. On Thursday we were viewing houses and I felt a big stretching/rolling sensation in my belly for about 20 seconds - it was the first time I was sure it was baby. Then nothing for 2 days. Last night and this morning I've been lying down trying to feel something and I do get these gas bubble type sensations, or like a flicking muscle, low down just above my pubic bone. I put my hand there and I can feel my stomach move slightly. Is this kicking? Who knows. It's driving me insane. I'm hoping that if it is that means it will ramp up quickly over the next few weeks and by 24 weeks I can be a bit more relaxed about everything. I realise I'm still very much not expecting to actually become a mother or actually have a live son in my arms. Looking for a house with baby in mind feels like jinxing - like I'm going to end up in a big house with no baby... life feels quite stressful at the moment with all the changes going on and that's probably not helping me stay calm and happy. My stress levels got sky high a couple of times this weekend and I was worried it would damage baby. I want to stay calm but house-hunting when 5 months pregnant is really stressful :(

Hope everyone else has had a nice weekend xxx

Updating weeks

@Bellsx 37wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 37wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 32wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 33wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma** 32wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 31wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 31wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 31wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 31wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 31wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 30wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 29wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 28wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 25wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 22wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 22wks (due 05/12/20) Boy
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby* 13 weeks (due 24/01/2021

@Whiffle77 I updated you too as I know you're half a week ahead of me - hope you don't mind! xx

Thanks @MOGMOGMOG85 of course not! Had a few days away with DH and the dog so had an Internet break, lots to catch up on!! Was really what I needed as work is so full on at the minute, but now got the dread about being back tomorrow. Hey ho!
@Rachael321 gosh that was an exciting update read for me, I thought I would get to the end and find a baby!! 😂 when I had gallstones, I had some melt in the mouth painkillers which helped as I couldn't swallow pills with water. Are you keeping a food diary? For me it was mainly fatty food which set me off, which is what doctors said, but i also found really obscure things too - like cereal bars that I sometimes had for breakfast. I do feel for you, I just had a constant dread of eating which was so hard. I did lose a lot of weight though so every cloud! I've also been ok since the op, and getting it out was absolutely the right thing for me. I did struggle with fatty/greasy food straight after the op, and it did make my ibs worse but over time I am now back to what my "normal" ibs is. There are a lot of horror stories on the Internet so please dont worry too much! For me I reasoned that the pain was so awful, I would rather have an upset stomach every day for the rest of my life than keep having the attacks. I did go through a stage of atill having gallstone attacks after it was out which my doctor couldn't work out, but i think thats very rare.
@Avocuddles I thought of you looking at the aldi baby event too! Glad you bought some. I'm still not quite ready to buy stuff but going to start thinking about it in the next few weeks. We have stripped all the wallpaper off the planned nursery though - only to find it needs plastering!
@SunStruck nice to see you back and doing well, I was thinking of you the other day.
@mogmogmog85 that sounds like movements! Im enjoying mine but also find them anxiety inducing - I will have days when they are partying all day inside me, and others where they are very quiet which panics me a lot. I know at this stage this is normal but its just a new thing to worry about! I have seen my stomach wriggling and bouncing now which is very strange - a couple of times i have seen it when I cant feel it!
@Knotemma that is a very cute basket! I've become a sugar addict which I am going to try and wean myself off tomorrow as it isn't good for me and baby, so i might be hammering the cereal too!! Hope everything goes well for your cousin!

Ah ladies what would you do? Baby has had a really quiet afternoon, didn’t feel anything since lunch when it was quite small movements. Was ready to call maternity triage, but she’s started moving a bit. Still not her normal self though. Would you phone for reduced movements even though I’ve felt something? I’ve done all the usual tricks. Thanks in advance x

@tmc14 why not ring to put your mind at rest and see what the midwives advise over the phone?

@Bellsx 37wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 37wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 32wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 33wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 32wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 31wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 31wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 31wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 31wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 31wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 30wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 29wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 28wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 25wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 22wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 22wks (due 05/12/20) Boy
@footprintsintheslow 17 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby** 13 weeks (due 24/01/2021

@footprintsintheslow thank you, of course that’s the sensible answer!! Ringing now but no ones picking up... will keep trying. Thanks for replying. x

@knotemma how exciting I hope your cousin has had her baby by now. My SIL had a baby girl at the beginning of July and we get to finally meet her tomorrow (distantly of course)
Has anyone else thought about what they are going to do about relatives visiting baby? I think we will stick with what SIL has done and say grandparents can cuddle but everyone else can look from afar!

We are also now due next month and it feels very surreal. We are pretty much ready and have everything we need, started washing the clothes this weekend which is exciting! They look so cute all hung up on the line 💕

@MOGMOGMOG85 I hated that period where you are second guessing movements but it does pass quickly and you will feel big improvements each week now. Definitely by 24 weeks I was sure they were baby. What you are feeling definitely sounds the same as my early ones, but I like you refused to believe it til it was undeniable!

@tmc14 I would agree with giving them a call to put your mind at rest. Have you tried the old trick of a really cold drink and lying on your left side for 30 mins? I've noticed that when I'm busy working for example I don't always acknowledge the movements as much but if I lay down for a bit with no other distractions she tends to perk up again. Hope you get some reassurance from hospital x

@tmc14 missed your post somehow, I would always call (and have done twice now, once for absent and once for reduced movements like yours) they would always rather hear from you than not. Start lying down in a quiet room with a cold drink now so you can say you have done so when you get through. Hopefully little one will give you some big nudges soon and you get through to someone who can help xx

Updating...

@Bellsx 37wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 37wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 32wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 33wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 32wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 31wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 31wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 32 wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 31wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 31wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 30wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 29wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 28wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 25wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 22wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 22wks (due 05/12/20) Boy
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby** 13 weeks (due 24/01/2021