Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 5

[Avocuddles]

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Just a bit of a rant - my local hospital has started to allow partners back in for scans now - for the 20 week scan only, which isn't what has irked me, but more their reasoning. This is what the hospital page has published -

"It is only for the 20 week scan that you may bring a partner, this is because we wouldn't be able to meet social distancing guidance in scan waiting areas if we reintroduced partners to attend for all scans. We considered that as the 20 week scan is the one where many parents to be like to find out the baby’s gender, this would be the most important to reintroduce first."

Just feels like such a kick in the teeth that they're basically saying the 20 week scan is most important so you can find out girl / boy together... not because it's a big medical anomaly scan that it's important to have support for.. partners still can't attend consultant appointments or early labour blah blah, but as long as they can find out the sex of baby together.. 🙈🙈

@didslysquiddlydoo eurgh, yeah that’s awful. I’d rather all those other hospital patients being given terminal diagnoses, or those receiving palliative care get to have someone with them before my husband finds out what bits our baby has 🤦🏻‍♀️ The scan is a medical appointment to check the health of the baby and it’s great if someone can be there with you for support because of that reason only.

@MOGMOGMOG85 that sounds awful! Glad you’re ok now & hope you get to rest today. My gums have been bleeding but haven’t had any nosebleeds x

I’m counting down to my 30 week scan on Monday... will get to see if my 40 year old decrepit placenta making skills are up to scratch as my reading for placental blood flow was a little high at the 20 weeks scan 🤞 keeping everything crossed it hasn’t changed.

Hi all. Seahawk I am so sorry to hear your news, I hope you are doing as ok as you can and are being well looked after.

@didslysquiddlydoo what a pile of rubbish. As you say if they have made that decision surely it is because the 20 week scan is the anomaly scan and not just about gender. Plus being there for labour and birth is surely just as important?? I'd be annoyed with that reasoning too. I have actually written to my MP to complain about partners still not being allowed in to appointments, especially now Scotland are allowing it. DH and I can go to dinner or a drink at the pub, get our hair cut, pop into B&Q or the garden centre but he's not allowed in to see his unborn child?!

Fingers crossed for your scan on Monday @tmc14. I'm sure your placenta is not decrepit, it's keeping your baby well nourished currently. At least you will be getting checked out though which is good.

I have started journalling the last couple of weeks. It's something I've tried in the past and always let slide but we have a lot going on at the mo and i've been feeling more and more overwhlemed so i decided to try again. I've found it quite helpful to write down my most inner thoughts and fears every couple of days. I feel like it is my safe place to say things that I would never say to anyone.

I suspect this baby is going to be an early riser though, he has woken me up about 6am the last few days with some almighty kicks. I've actually gasped at the force of some of them. Isla was the opposite, she used to have a little party when I got into bed which was so lovely and she always let me get a decent nights sleep. Her little brother is going to be a little monkey I can tell. He's kicking away as I type as well. DH is already planning out a football career for him lol. Hope everyone else is ok.

@didslysquidlydoo and @shefliesonherownwings I have been equally frustrated by the scan scenario. Why are we allowed go with groups of people to the pub (where masks are not required), but a father cannot go to a medical appointment (with masks on, in a controlled environment) where the health of his unborn child is being checked? Last I checked it takes two to make a baby and a father should have a right to be there - particularly when restrictions have been eased almost everywhere else. What is further frustrating is that this policy is not country-wide and varies from hospital to hospital. My SIL had a 20 week scan well over a month ago and could bring their DP. Hospital trusts are definitely varying their approach from location to location. I was given a blood pressure monitor and unrine testing strips to take home at my last appointment so they could eliminate the need to do this face to face after 30 weeks and I could do it myself. But I was also told that partners were now allowed there for inductions and full labour (not just active labour) and for some time after.

Hi lovely ladies, how are you guys doing? I have dipped in and out to try keep up but I've been so extremely busy with work that I haven't had much time to write and keep up.

Firstly I have to say I am so sorry to read about your update @Seahawk80 😔 it's so unfair. I hope you get a lot of support irl and that we'll see you back soon again.

So I'm 31 weeks this week and have managed to get everything I need to for the baby now, built the nursery furniture and just need to arrange the nursery which will be a fun task! 😄 definitely getting bigger and more breathless by the day though and the baby is relentlessly kicking me 😆 I went for a scan yesterday and his little face is all squished up, it's definitely getting cramped in there! I'm now seeing my Dr every 2 weeks up until 36 weeks when I'm seeing her weekly. She said she'd prefer to not let me go over too much, so the latest we'll have the baby is October 5th (one week after due date). Things suddenly feel more and more real!

I feel sorry for you ladies with bad heartburn, I haven't had any actually - I've heard that bad heartburn could mean lots of hair, I'm guessing our baby is completely bald 👨‍🦲 😂 I'm sure your babies will have a gorgeous head full of hair 😍

Oh I forgot to update...

@Bellsx 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 32wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 32wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 31wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 30wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 30wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 30wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 31wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣ BOY
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 29wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 29wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 29wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 28wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 25wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 21wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 21wks (due 05/12/20) Boy
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 13 weeks (due 24/01/2021

I actually discussed the whole support person with my midwife yesterday and she suggested that for our trust things are going to be returning to something near normal fairly shortly. When she mentioned it I initially thought she meant nation wide, but I'm now thinking it's probably on the trust level. I totally agree that not posing the 20 weeks scan as being a very medically important scan as a reason, but because you'll find out if it's a boy or a girl is more than a bit pathetic.
It's definitely been frustrating not being able to have that support during scans. I consider myself very lucky that they're classing me as low risk now. In fact midwife suggested a home birth to me yesterday, which was quite a shock. I feel like being at the hospital is the way to go, even though I would love it to be Bobby or Wendy to deliver my baby.

Just dropping my weekly update too, got my labor pack yesterday which is fairly crazy

@Bellsx 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 32wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 32wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 32wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 30wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 30wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 30wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 29wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 29wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 29wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 28wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 25wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 21wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 21wks (due 05/12/20) Boy
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 13 weeks (due 24/01/2021

Hi everyone, I’m 12 weeks 5 days with my seventh baby after six miscarriages. I just found out that I’m high risk for pre-eclampsia and was wondering if this happened to anyone else and how worried I should be. The pre-eclampsia booklet from the hospital is pretty scary! Thanks.

Whoops managed to cross post with Sunstruck 🙈

@Bellsx 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 32wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 32wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 32wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 30wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 30wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 30wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 31wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣ BOY
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 29wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 29wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 29wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 28wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 25wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 21wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 21wks (due 05/12/20) Boy
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 13 weeks (due 24/01/2021)

Updating me too! 30 weeks 😊

@Bellsx 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 32wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 32wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 32wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 30wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 30wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 30wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 29wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 30wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 29wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 28wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 25wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 21wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 21wks (due 05/12/20) Boy
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 13 weeks (due 24/01/2021

@Knotemma curious to know whats on your labour pack? I haven't been given anything.

Re partners at scans, at my growth scan last week he wasn't allowed. They were allowing partners to wait outside the building and come in when you went into the scan room but only for 12 and 20 week scans and they are to leave immediately. I don't see the difference between those and growth scans, they are all deemed as essential to that individual so why not? He was allowed into my consultant appointment after waiting outside until I was taken, I had to call him l, have him fill out a form and then come into the room!

@Rachael321 it's an Emma's diary one, it has a booklet about labour and postpartum and a little trial pack of child's farm stuff.
Yesterday my midwife suggested that DH might be able to come to my next growth scan which is in 3 weeks, but we'll just see. I think because for a time we were quite a high case and mortality area (which IMO has a lot more to do with general respiratory health in our area than anything else) they've been and stayed mega strict up until now

@FloDaffodil welcome to the group! Gentle congratulations and sticky bean vibes to you ❤️
I am deemed high risk for pre eclampsia. It just meant that my midwife keeps a close eye on my blood pressure and urine now I'm further along and I was put onto aspirin at around 12 weeks which I have to take daily. I wouldn't worry too much about it, but if you have concerns speak to your midwife and they will be able to give you more information. I wish you all the best for your pregnancy. I don't know if you will have seen any of the previous messages / threads from this group but everyone is lovely...always here if you need support or somewhere to rant or ask a question and for if you want to share good news and scan/bump pics :)

Just to join the convo re: partners...I have been told that partners still can't attend scans and consultant appointments and my hubby currently won't be able to join me when I go in to be induced. He can only come once I am on delivery suite in a private room and in active labour...he can stay for duration of delivery after that but then has to leave once baby is here and we are moved to mum and baby ward. If we are kept in overnight he can only visit once we have been in for over 24 hours and can then only visit for 1 hour a day. It's so frustrating that it is so inconsistent. I get that they are saying they are trying to protect mum's and new babies but if he can join for part of the process why can't he be there with me from when I go into the hospital? Was hoping that things may improve and change before my due date but given that I could be induced anytime in next 4-6 weeks and there are now concerns for a second wave of covid hitting UK in the next 2 weeks, I aren't holding my breath anymore.

Hope everyone is doing ok xx

@didslysquiddlydoo what makes me sick is that the quote you put out from the nhs says gender instead of sex. I don't think we find out of the baby is gay or straight or trans, in my 20 week scan we can find out of the baby is biologically male or female. 😂😤😬

Incidentally in our health board in Wales we can have partners for 12 and 20 week scans and also for foetal medical scans

@FloDaffodil I think I recognise you from the other thread so it's brilliant to see you here.

Welcome @FloDaffodil and gentle congratulations. I don't know much about pre eclampsia I'm afraid but hopefully others can advise.

The partners being allowed to visit rules are so disappointing. However I did ask my midwife and she made the good point that basically pubs etc. shouldn't be open, and you don't choose to have appointments but do choose the pub, so it's just hospitals are taking the risk seriously even if others aren't. I still felt extremely disappointed but did understand some of the logic. The whole '20 week scan is important because you find out the sex' thing is SO old-fashioned (urgh) and also incredibly misleading about the purpose of that scan. Also I found out about our loss last year at the 12 week scan - other scans are important! I initially wondered whether they might be trying not to worry people by pretending their rationale about having someone to find out the sex not support in the case of anomalies... but I think that's a bit of a stretch and I'm being too generous there 😂

Currently having a "is it happening" moment and thinking my waters may be leaking! 😲😲
37 weeks tomorrow

@Rachael321 OH My!! Please keep us posted. If it is happening 37 weeks is a good time to go isn't it? I gather they are effectively "full term". Weren't you booked in for a section due to gallstones or am I mixing that up?? Hope you're okay! Sounds both exciting and nerve wracking! Xx

@AnxiousLady1 I have gallstones and they're considering induction but hoping for natural birth so you were almost right 😁.
Had been to the loo and then got changed into pj's and then felt like I'd wet myself and had to change... playing it by ear just now, letting my dinner settle, check knickers and then see about calling mat assessment from there.

Yeah I think effectively full term at 37weeks so not too bad

Updating my weeks! Cranking up the consultants, adding GD to the list. C section 37 weeks confirmed (again!) so not long to go. Hopefully I don’t completely fall to bits by then 😄

@Bellsx 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 32wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 32wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 32wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 30wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 30wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 30wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 31wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 30wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 29wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 28wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 25wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 21wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 21wks (due 05/12/20) Boy
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 13 weeks (due 24/01/2021

@Rachael321 might be worth popping a pad on for a bit. The hospital can test any liquid that is collected in the pad to see if it is your waters or not. Fingers crossed for you xx

@Rachael321 how exciting! Keep is updated 😃

@Rachael321 oooh! Good luck!