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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 5

983 replies

Avocuddles · 16/07/2020 18:03

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Hagster · 25/07/2020 16:46

@Seahawk80 I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, this is such a bloody rollercoaster for you. I know you know that bleeding in itself can happen and not mean anything bad, but I also know that knowing that won't stop you worrying. If you can speak to the midwife sooner and think it would help to speak to her, great, but if you can't then I'd say try to do what you can to look after yourself over the weekend until the EPU opens, whether that's distraction, self-care, letting yourself have a cry, speaking to us or a friend, and anything in-between. I know that wait can feel so long. xx

footprintsintheslow · 25/07/2020 16:49

@Seahawk80 can you ring GP out of hours as they may be able to refer you for a scan?

Seahawk80 · 25/07/2020 16:57

Thanks @Hagster @footprintsintheslow it doesn't seem to be getting worse so I'll wait for Monday morning as I think calling the EPU will be the quickest way to get an appointment, rather than drs where you will be waiting for them to send paperwork over. Could just really do without this but I'm old and wise enough to know there's nothing I can do but wait. If the bleeding doesn't get worse I'll be fairly optimistic as it's no worse than I've had before but it's always horrible and I've not had it at 9 weeks before.

SammiLou2312 · 25/07/2020 17:25

@KerryW87 I've had 5 losses before this pregnancy (all before 8 weeks so not quite the same) but just wanted to say, don't read too much into your partner being able to cope better than you and getting back to normal...in my experience, men tend to deal with things in a much different way l. My hubby seemed like he was back to normal within a day of my surgery after my last loss and didn't seem to be upset at all...turned out, he was locking himself away every so often to have a cry and try and process. When I found out I asked why and he said he knew I was struggling to cope with my feelings so didn't want to make it harder for me by having to cope with his feelings too. He felt he had to put on this front of everything is fine so he could be strong for me, when in reality he was breaking inside just as much as I was. Give yourself time to recover and to process and be kind to yourself and your partner. I hope you get your rainbow baby in the future once you are ready to try again xx

@Seahawk80 do you not have an emergency number you can call? I think the epu in my area is open 24/7. If you are concerned I would try your midwife at least. That's what they are there for. Hope everything is ok. Take it easy and put your feet up for a bit in the meantime xx

marmitecheesetoast · 26/07/2020 11:19

@Seahawk80 how are you this morning?

@turquoisebaby @Seahawk80 absolutely feeling you on the threenager front 😆 it’s exhausting. Anger wee doesn’t sound fun! DD has started hitting recently which is pretty horrible.
@tmc14 I remember the pain when DD dropped her nap, they do get used to it though (although a year later I’m still mourning that nap!!)
Thank you @tmc14 yes it’s a pretty bitter pill to swallow. It’s haunting my thoughts a fair bit at the moment.

I had such a vivid dream last night that I was having a miscarriage that I got up in the middle of the night to check if I was bleeding as I couldn’t figure out whether or not it was real.

Struggling a bit at the moment. It’s pretty miserable suffering with fairly constant nausea and exhaustion without any of the hope or excitement of pregnancy. Like it might all be for nothing again.
I think I need some new mindful distraction. I’ve just ordered a cross stitch pattern to make for DS. I’m terrible at these sort of things though so hope it doesn’t stress me out more or that I totally mess it up!

Seahawk80 · 26/07/2020 11:55

Thanks @marmitecheesetoast I'm doing ok actually, bleeding has stopped, just had a little bit of brown. It's identical to bleeding I've had in every other pregnancy just a different time so I'm feeling positive as possible. Going to call the EPU first thing tomorrow. I know what you mean about dealing with early pregnancy with no excitement. Even if I go to the EPU and all is fine it just moving the stress on to the 12 week scan. I feel thankful that at least 12 weeks is my "milestone" as getting past a later loss must feel like forever.

Also know what you mean about mourning naps - we went to a birthday picnic yesterday for one of the boys at DS Childminder's and the parents with younger kids were rushing home for nap time - I was so jealous!

What's everyone up to today? Our friends were meant to come over but they cancelled as they are not feeling well so we are getting on with packing all the kitchen stuff away (which is what we should be doing rather than hanging out with mates really!)

footprintsintheslow · 26/07/2020 12:04

@marmitecheesetoast I have a lovely Beatrix Potter across stitch alphabet sampler that I need to finish from my first pregnancy. That baby is now 21 and I really need to finish it!

@Seahawk80 we are all rooting for you tomorrow. Have you been to EPU before during this pregnancy?

As for naps this is day two in a row where my daughter tells me I don't have any milk so she won't sleep. I've tried a bottle but it's not working.

I actually feel hysterical at the thought of no nap time. Up to now we've barely put the tv on. Just Saturday and Sunday mornings to give us a bit of a lie in. But I think there will be more tv now there is no nap time.

marmitecheesetoast · 26/07/2020 12:57

@Seahawk80 that sounds reassuring and I’m glad you’re feeling as positive as can be. Hope you get seen in and out quickly at the EPU and all is absolutely fine.

Yes it is hard, as I think there will be absolutely no point in this pregnancy that feels ‘safe’ to me. It’s so daunting to think of.

Ha yes I’d be jealous too!

@footprintsintheslow maybe the perfect mindful distraction activity now?! 😂 A relative made one when my DD was born, so I don’t want DS to be without one. Ha, yes, we had quite a long phase of an hour after lunch when she’d normally nap where we either had CBeebies on (at least its educational!) or read books quietly if I had the energy! You definitely need that chance just to sit down with a cup of tea without chasing around at some point in the day.

The more time I’ve had to reflect on the call with the consultant last week the more questions I have. If as he is now suggesting, the placenta wasn’t quite keeping up with DS’ needs, then surely that would be gradual rather than the ‘sudden adverse event’ the pathologist has suggested??! And I just can’t stop thinking about if they’d scanned me when I went in for reduced movements 5 days earlier as they’ve now said they should have... as surely then that was a sign? That he was struggling? I just feel he’s been so badly failed and it makes me feel sick 😔

MOGMOGMOG85 · 26/07/2020 14:51

Help: acid reflux - I remember some of you have suffered with this particularly @Avocuddles and @Rachael321. When did it come on for you guys? I'm 21 weeks now and its suddenly come in the last week, and suddenly much worse today and last night! I've already worked out that coffee (even decaf) is a no, as well as crisps (or I guess fatty things). Toast seems inexplicably to be a no-no, and I had salad for dinner last night but that seemed bad too. Is there anything I can do to reduce it. I'm sitting/standing straight up and trying not to bend over at all. Should I get some gaviscon, and how much is safe to use? Thank you!!! xxx

MOGMOGMOG85 · 26/07/2020 14:53

The last list seems to have been pages back, hope I haven't accidentally missed anyone's updates!

@Bellsx 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 32wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 32wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 31wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 30wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 30wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 30wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 29wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 29wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 28wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 28wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 24wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 21wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 21wks (due 05/12/20) Boy
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 13 weeks (due 24/01/2021

SammiLou2312 · 26/07/2020 15:31

@MOGMOGMOG85 I started with acid reflux badly from about 16 weeks...it eased for a few weeks but then has come back with a vengeance in the last couple weeks. I used gaviscon at first (this is safe for baby as long as you follow instructions about how much to use) but when I mentioned it to midwife she actually prescribed some Peptac liquid (basically none brand gaviscon) so I didn't have to keep paying out loads for the brand stuff. I know some of the ladies have had unbearable cases of reflux so have had to be given stronger medications so I guess it depends on how bad it is. I would try gaviscon to start...I also found eating little but often helps massively - if I have a big full meal it gets bad, but it's worse if I let my stomach go empty (bit of a struggle ATM with the diabetes stuff on top as am meant to eat 3 regular meals). Hope you find something that works for you x

tmc14 · 26/07/2020 15:35

@seahawk80 He’s always napped in his pushchair (we were nomads for 7 months when he was little due to renovating our house, and we never switched back to napping in a cot). I think I might just have to tough it out and accept he’ll be tired for a while. So pleased you’re finally getting to unpack the kitchen! It’ll be so nice once you’re sorted, living in a temporary state is always a bit tricky. Glad the bleeding has stopped and hope you get a quick appointment tomorrow at the EPU.

@footprintsintheslow We’re the same with TV. It was perhaps a once a week for half an hour before this, now it’s about a necessity in the afternoon to push him through the rest of the day without a complete breakdown from tiredness.

@hagster @kerryW87 so true about being on a different page to your partner sometimes. Grief isn’t linear, so everyone will do things in their own order. I went straight back to work and pushed through, as I really needed to, then had a bit of a crash and took some time. My DH probably thought I was a bit mental. He’s always been a bit quiet about it, but when I got pregnant again he didn’t talk about the pregnancy until I was about 16 weeks, so I think that was his way. With grief, any thing is appropriate so long as you just go with what you need at the time, even if it doesn’t match up with what your other half needs.

@marmitecheesetoast Fingers crossed DS gets used to no nap soon as anything past 4pm just isn’t fun at the moment. I get very vivid dreams all the time at the moment. A lot of the time it is DS dying (awful to say, but I have dreams like this at least 3 times a week). He’s usually his age, but then when he dies he becomes a tiny baby. This week, after agreeing induction by 40 weeks with the consultant, I’ve started dreaming about them forgetting and not letting me get induced early and something awful happening with the baby. It’s exhausting me out to be honest. Sorry if that’s too awful a thing to write about, but I’ve heard that vivid dreams in pregnancy is common, and for us I think sad dreams are perhaps another sad effect from losing pregnancies. Sending a hug. Do you have another appointment with the consultant to follow up with more questions?

@MOGMOGMOG85 I haven’t had terrible heart burn, but some bad episodes. I have to eat small meals more often, never get really hungry or really full. Then I can pretty much have anything. But that might just be what works for me, more knowledgeable people will hopefully be able to give advice!

MOGMOGMOG85 · 26/07/2020 15:37

@SammiLou2312 what a nightmare it sounds balancing diabetes and acid reflux! Thanks for the tips. I kind of knew I'd need to eat smaller meals at some point soon, I've been enjoying eating 3 meals and not worrying since my sickness eased in the second trimester, but I guess my time of fun and ease is up now! Thats kinda why I was nibbling on toast today so as to keep me going without eating too much at a time but it wasn't working. I will try the gaviscon. I will mention to midwife when I next see her and see if I can get the cheaper stuff!

xx

Rachael321 · 26/07/2020 15:37

@MOGMOGMOG85 I can't remember when mine started, the sickness turned into reflux and heartburn and turned into gallstones related. Doctor gave me peptac and omeprazole. Recommended eating little and often and low fat diet for the foreseeable. I found keeping note or what I had eaten and when it flares up to narrow down if there was a particular cause.

tmc14 · 26/07/2020 15:38

Also updating my weeks, 29 now! Still doesn't feel real. I actually bought some baby clothes this week (I have everything from DS but figured that maybe buying her some new things might help me realise this might actually be happening).

@Bellsx 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 32wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 32wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 31wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 30wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 30wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 30wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 29wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 29wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 29wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 28wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 24wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 21wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 21wks (due 05/12/20) Boy
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 13 weeks (due 24/01/2021

MOGMOGMOG85 · 26/07/2020 15:39

@tmc14 thank you! I also saw your reply the other day about lifting your toddler around everywhere and not worrying as much as you did in your first pregnancy. That was actually really helpful to me to hear that of course pregnant women lift things and these things happen and it's 99% of the time fine! Yeah, I guess you don't get a choice about whether to lift your child, probably half the time it's grabbing them out of the way of the road etc and you can't exactly be fussy! xx

Rachael321 · 26/07/2020 15:42

@MOGMOGMOG85 there was also times when I thought ot was heartburn/indigestion/reflux that it was actually trapped wind! A few big burps solved that problem. Not the most pleasant but helped!!

Seahawk80 · 26/07/2020 15:57

Hi everyone, think I spoke too soon earlier. Went for a walk with DH and DS and felt really crampy. I was trying to ignore it but then felt a rush of blood and it went straight through my leggings. We weren't far from home so I'm back now but not feeling very hopeful. I know some people do have big bleeds but the cramps too make me think it's all over. I always think what would I say to a friend and whereas this morning I would have been positive now I'd say it doesn't sound too good. I'll let you know once I've been to the EPU but I think this is probably it for me x

Whiffle77 · 26/07/2020 17:37

Oh @Seahawk80 I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time, I really hope this is just one of those things. Hope you have a peaceful night and time flies until you can get to EPU. We will be thinking of you.

footprintsintheslow · 26/07/2020 18:57

@Seahawk80 oh you poor poor thing you must be out of your mind with worry. We all totally understand you here and will be thinking of you tomorrow. Please please just rest tonight.

@marmitecheesetoast do you have a plan for your next steps now you have more questions? Are you able to contact tut consultant again?

@tmc14 dropping naps is a double whammy. You don't get the break but on top of that you have a lunatic overtired child to contend with. Today our little one threw her plate of lentils away then cried she had no lentils so I gave her some from my plate which she ate the lot then cried they were all gone. It's exhausting. I'm not ready to parent alllllll day with naps. Plus I rely on it to do my online teaching.

marmitecheesetoast · 26/07/2020 21:29

I’m so sorry you’re going through this @Seahawk80 I know you’ll be beside yourself with worry. I hope you manage to get some sleep and are seen quickly tomorrow. Will be thinking of you and keeping everything crossed.

@footprintsintheslow I’m not sure really. I know he will put our consultation into a letter so don’t know if he’ll say how to contact him with any further questions on the letter, or whether to wait til I’ll see him in clinic around 12 weeks (if I get that far). It’s hard as I’ll be seeing him for care related to this pregnancy but the questions are really about my DS and trying to understand more of what happened there. I guess the two are very interlinked though

turquoisebaby · 26/07/2020 22:08

@Seahawk80 Nothing is going to make you feel any better right now, but I had a large bleed on wednesday and thankfully little one is fine. My fingers and limbs and everything are crossed for you for tomorrow.

Treaclepie19 · 26/07/2020 22:58

@Seahawk80 I'm keeping everything crossed for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this 😔 Get some rest if you can xxx

AnxiousLady1 · 27/07/2020 10:45

@seahawk80 - Really hoping you get some positive news at the EPU today xx

AnxiousLady1 · 27/07/2020 10:48

Updating my weeks. Had a private scan yesterday, and DH was finally able to see baby, so that was nice. Hope everyone is doing okay today and had a relatively relaxed weekend (in as much as can be had at varying stages of pregnancy and the worry it brings - not to mention those of you with threenagers!)

@Bellsx 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 35wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 32wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 32wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Knotemma 31wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 28wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 30wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 30wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@avocuddles 30wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@Sunflower1608 28wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣ GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 29wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 29wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 29wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 28wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 25wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 22wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 21wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 21wks (due 05/12/20) Boy
@footprintsintheslow 14 wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 13 weeks (due 24/01/2021

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