Thread 2 for us classed as more mature pregnant ladies

[AliasGrape]

Hi everyone.
I noticed our thread was about to fill up, so thought I’d start a new one quick. Hope that’s not too presumptuous of me and have to say thank you to @Sheera1 for starting the thread.

As the title says it’s a discussion thread for any pregnant women who are classed as that bit older for a mum to be.

Copying our list over so we can keep up. If you would like to join please copy and paste the list, adding your own details in date order.

Really hope I’m doing this right! 🙈

@Liveforholidays 40. Due 01/06/20 - Baby boy born 4th June 💙
@Ethellsmum 38. Due July DC5
@fool11 45, due July, DC2
@PregnantPorcupine, 38, due 29/07/20 DC1
@AliasGrape 40 Due 30/07/20 DC1
@stairgates Age 43 Due 5/08/20 DC12
@Dufferedup 42. Due Sep DC3
@Realladymarmalade Age? Due:29/08/20 DC (darling child)?
@Ferrylass 45. Due Oct? DC2
@3isthemagicnumber3 40. Due 16/10/20 DC3
@Brightonmaman 41. Due 19 Oct DC2
@LittleMiss7 38. Due 20/10/20 DC1&2.. TWINS!
@crispaddict99 40. Due 9/11/20 DC1
@Sheera1 41. Due 20/11/20 ds10
@onlyreadingneverposting8 44. Due 24/11/20 DC (darling child)?
@Frazzlerock age 41. Due 26/11/20 DC3 - 7th pregnancy
@EveningReflection 38. Due 04/12/2020 DC1
@MariaDingbat 40. Due 07/12/20 & FTM dc3
@AuntLucy 44. Due Dec
@passthemustard Age? Due Dec DC5
@sunlight81 Age? Due Dec DC2 & 3 TWINS!
@countingblessings 40 Due 19/12/20 DC2
@LJEva 42. Due 25/12/20 DC2
@Shroppy 38 Due 31/12/20 DC1
@Kiffers 42, due 01.01.21 - first child
@Liese27 38 Due 9/01/21 DC2
@footprintsintheslow 40 Due 10/01/21 dC3
@pinklillie 39. Due Jan DC1
@sk283 40. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Antihop 42. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@mlctobe 41. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Dia1212 40. Due 21/01/21 DC1
@Mummymilla Age? Due 24/01/21 DC3
@Viennoise 38. Due 26/01/21
@Louscarlet 39 due 30/01/21 DC1
@Celibacydidntwork 46 Due 31/1/21 DC3

Morning everyone! Had such a bad day yesterday - was so so nauseous all day and nothing took it away. I was totally overtired, which I think was the main cause. Did manage to do some Crochet though - started a little dress that's meant to be easy....given I undid probably as much as I crocheted I'm not so sure! I was actually sleeping when my husband got up this morning, really annoying!! Once I'm awake - I'm awake and back to the nausea - which I did tell the Dr about at my appointment on Wednesday but as suspected she was not at all bothered! 😕

Love the rocking chairs. We are going to be moving house at the end of August. This becoming habit when I'm pregnant....this will be the 5th move we done when I'm pregnant!. I think my husband does it on purpose to take advantage of my nesting, which means I sort and pack and then unpack and sort!! 🤣🤣So I'm now holding off getting things as it'll be more to move!

@Realladymarmalade I wonder if you have hypoplasia like I do?
I don't have the right breast tissue to produce enough milk (caused by PCOS during puberty). I've got an amazing lactation consultant who is going to great lengths to help me to BF this time around. She's already given me syringes to collect colostrum from 36/37 weeks and have written up a feeding plan for my notes so that the hospital staff know my issues. She's also going to have domperidone prescribed for me and has suggested other galactogogues (Fenugreek). There is a great book called 'Making More Milk' by Lisa Marasco and Diana West.
I totally understand if you're not bothered, there is absolutely nothing wrong with formula - I was forced to formula feed my two and they are perfectly healthy! I just know, for me, I was devastated to not be able to feed and discovered I am still massively struggling with the 'grief' of it 11 years later after speaking to my lactation lady recently.

If I ave to formula feed, I know the advice around prepping and sterilising has changed a bit so I need to look into that just in case!
I like the idea behind the Perfect Prep machines, those are new to me!
I understand we can no longer have pre-boiled water, then just add the formula to it as and when we need it? Does it now have to be boiling/very hot to put the powder in?

@Sheera1 That's a much better choice! I didn't like to say at the time but I thought the other chair had an air of 'nursing home' about it
I think ours was about £50 too.

@footprintsintheslow I hadn't thought about that with little ones about, yes I think it is the perfect trap for little fingers if your DD is the curious type. We have a black leather Poang with footstool in the living room and it is very comfy so I'd go for that if i were you.

@AliasGrape Morning! God, you're going to be shattered later, will you have time for a nap?
Well done on getting those rooms done! Feels good doesn't it!
DP is still fixing up the bathroom - it's so hard with FT working as well to get it done, especially as he can't really do much noisy work after work as its too late for so much noise.
We have so much that needs doing and so much crap to get rid of its unreal!
I can totally understand the emotions. I cried when I brought our crib home last weekend and also feel gutted about missing out on the preg stuff. I'm sure you're right about it all drifting away once baby is here.

@onlyreadingneverposting8 Sorry you're feeling rough, is there nothing the doc can do/suggest? I'm looking forward to seeing the little dress! I've seen some gorgeous patterns for dresses. I'm tempted to make one despite believing we're having another boy. I'll put him in it anyway, haha!

Talking of crochet, I'm making another cardi from that youtube clip I posted and trying to make the newborn one. The lady said to make the newborn one, you need to use a smaller hook, which I am doing, but it seems like its going to be the same size as the 0-3 month? She doesn't mention reducing stitches but I wonder if I should have done? If so, I wouldn't know how many to do

Morning all, havent been here for a few days, since last Friday, when I finished working and shut my computer down (and haven’t opened since) and this thread moves so fast 🙂..

I had my sweep yesterday (38+1) and also consultant app about the induction planned for next week (which I was really dreading)..and won’t be actually happening as Midwufe did assessment before sweep and I’m already 3.5cm dilated, head in the pelvis (explains why I’m struggling to sit, move etc) ,soft cervix..so balloon or pesary induction is out of question. She told me actually to walk around hospital for an hour and she thought I might go into labour soon after the sweep..did also my bishop score and said I would be around 7. Nothing happened overnight, been up for most of the night, adrenaline kicked in I guess, but hoping he will come out soon as really uncomfortable. Otherwise have another sweep booked for Monday and if that doesn’t work going to hospital on wed to have my waters popped. Just want it to be over now.

Hope you are all well..going to try to catch up with all the posts now..

Hi all, hope you’re all well. I have my first scan today 12 weeks. Very nervous as convinced it’s bad news as all symptoms disappeared two weeks ago so going in expecting the worst. Given my age I’ve been told a 1% chance of conceiving in the first place and less than 20% likelihood of a viable pregnancy so I’m shocked to have reached 12 weeks with no obvious mc. I’m trying to pre empt my reaction to bad news, partner not allowed in so got to be strong and calm 💪🏼.

@Frazzlerock a nap is definitely on the cards! I’ve got to go to pick a few bits up I’ve ordered so going to do that as soon as the place opens and then I did have grand plans of ironing and some other boring housework but the nap is sounding more appealing!

@onlyreadingneverposting8 I’m sorry you’re still feeling so rubbish.

@fool11 That’s exciting that things are happening. Who did your sweep? My consultant told me to ask my community midwife for one but they’ve told me there’s no chance they’d do one before 40 weeks.

@Celibacydidntwork Good luck for the scan. I really hope it’s better news than you’re expecting, I remember how scary it is. Xxx

@AliasGrape it is a very unusual time to be pregnant and I hate the feeling of missing out too. Once that baby is here you can forget all that. And if it's any consolation I didn't really leave the house with my baby to do parent and baby activities until they were 6 months old. We spent the time at home and going for local walks and shopping trips to Lidls! That was enough for me and hopefully things may start back up a little going forward.

@Frazzlerock I've followed a few tutorials that just say to change hook size but not change the amount of stitches so just go with it for now. I'm going to make some booties next.
Can't make this a clicky link for some reason but it's from Wooly wonders from youtube.

@celibacydidntwork best of luck for today. Will keep everything crossed for you. What time is your scan at? It's horrible having to go on your own (I've had both good news and bad news when I've been on my own so I totally understand your nerves). We cant be with you but know that we are all virtually holding your hand

Hope your scan goes well at @Celibacydidntwork.

I had my sweep at my hospital, where I went for scans @AliasGrape. There is a senior midwife, she normally does the check ups for reduced movements and answers the advisory line if you have any concerns and she does sweeps as well. She did a sweep 5y who with my first at 39w and my dd was born next day..I was 40 and consultant wanted baby out by w40, so I asked if I can have a sweep at 39w to avoid the induction , they agreed and I arranged it with that midwife directly. This time consultant wants baby out at 38/39w as older and first baby was born small, so again I said I want to avoid induction and try sweep and he said fine, so I just arranged it with her..I haven’t seen my community midwife since w16, which was in March, all other appointments were at my hospital since the lockdown. Can you ask for a sweep at 39w?

@Celibacydidntwork good luck today - another handhold from me!! Xx

@footprintsintheslow it's a woolly wonders dress I'm doing. I find her a good teacher. I'm going to get some of the yarn she uses as it seems to show off the stitches so beautifully.

@fool11 so exciting! Hope you go into labour by yourself! With my 4th I was induced at 37+2 due to complications- I had 4 sweeps and I was 4cm dilated but my body firmly refused to labour until my waters were broken!! I wish I were at your stage... I know I should be enjoying pregnancy (I tell myself this every time) but given how sick I am I want to feel like me again!

fool that's great news and good luck.

I've never had a sweep before it's always out the fear in me and the very threat of it has always tipped me into labour on my due date lol. Please keep us updated !

frazzle sounds like you have a great lactation consultant! Fab. I know what you're saying about the sadness of not being able to it but I have to admit by baby number 2 I was accepting of it..I also feel that with my partner away alot working and my mum.as back up parent to the baby , 6 and and 9 year old I need to have the freedom to do things with my big two and I see BF in these circumstances as a bit of a bind and risk for PND. I'm bloody hypervigilant to the PND monster lurking Haha.
Still I might try and read up for advice .
Fenu Greek helped me too temporarily.

Had me yesterday and my DP came into the appointment . All I could see above his mask was his eyes fill with tears gearing the heartbeat for the first time. When are the English dads able to resume appts ?

I feel more that he has missed out but I am missing out too. I am finding talking on here helpful but I know no local.parents 2 be either . I'm going to try the peanut app and see about fb group for local mums. It would help. Most of my mum friends are done 🤣.

Forgot to ask me about whooping cough vaccine as I've not been given it. Nor the flu one . Hmmm.

Midwife appt not me ...

@Realladymarmalade I plan to breastfeed if it goes well, but introduce a bottle early on to get a break. I really ran myself to the ground with it last time. Expressing and feeding constantly. There is no need and once you start the midwives and HV almost demonized giving a bottle. DS was a hungry baby and up every 2 hours still st 16 weeks. I was a zombie. I finally gave him a bottle of hungry baby formula at night and he slept till 3am. I don't know why they are like that. Very little help establishing breastfeeding but if you manage then you are bad for giving any formula. Honestly the whole thing is designed to make us feel bad about ourselves.

I am determined this time to just do what it right for me and what me and baby can manage. I swear the breastfeeding was all ds knowing what to do and absolutely nothing to do with me. We are so hard on ourselves. It is easier said that done though when we are tired and vulnerable. @frazzlerock by mum breast fed by sister but couldn't with me and she had real grief and feelings of failure about it years later. She feels it is why I make choices they don't approve of and the reason for every mistake I make 🤔. I am perfectly fine. She wanted me to marry an investment banker? After I divorced which took her a long time to get over. I work with them and the bulk of them are aresholes and all cheating on their wives. 🙄. My mantra is try initially, the colostrum if we can and anything after that is what works and makes sense and not to beat myself up about it. Breastfeeding is lovely and good when they are ill, but it is also very exhausting and I felt I lost myself a bit. I will need to read up on bottle prepping as didn't know things had changed. I got a perfect prep machine for £20 with a new filter on marketplace. More bargains!

@footprintsintheslow I have the poang chair and so comfy but I am worried about getting up from it with a sleeping baby or just in general with c section as it is so low.

So exciting that we have more babies about to be born. Sending lots of love and wishes and crossed fingers for smooth births. You are nearly there. Xxx

@Frazzlerock that is exactly what DP said about the chair 😂

@onlyreadingneverposting8 I am so sorry you are feeling so awful. How are your kids doing are they helpful? I am back to nausea but only slightly. Feel a bit 🤢 and deciding what to eat is tough again even at lunchtime. I think sometimes I leave it too late a d the nausea is because I need to eat? I am still off tomato based sauces. DP made bolognese last night and I was almost sick smelling it. I had plain chicken breast with some oven fries and salad. It is such an odd time isn't it?

I am back to thinking girl again strongly. We cannot agree on boys names at all. I like Harvey but DP's boss had his first born yesterday and called in Harvey so DP vetoed it. He likes Ethan. I like it but I don't love it. I prefer Nathaniel but DP hates it.

Girls names are far easier for some reason. X

@Celibacydidntwork HUGE luck for today. Thinking of you x

@footprintsintheslow ahh LOVE those booties! I might make some too. I will see how I go with this cardi, hopefully it will be smaller but if not its no problem.

@fool11 how exciting! You could be meeting your baby anytime now

@Realladymarmalade yeah I also worry I will be spending so much time BFing that my older two get a bit neglected, but I'm hoping once its established it will become easier and more of a routine. IF it happens of course.
That's so lovely your DP cold be with your for your MW appointment. I still have to go on my own for those. I'm hoping by the time I have my 28 week scan DP will be allowed to come with me. That's 7-8 weeks away still so who knows.

Re flu jab, I asked my surgery and our local Lloyds pharmacy and both of them said the season starts again in Sept and to have it done then as they don't stock the vaccine out of season.

@Sheera1 Your mum sounds delightful! What's her thing with investment bankers!?
You really are an amazing bargain hunter, I just don't seem to have the eyes for it. I look at FB marketplace and our local buy and sell groups and barely see anything worth paying for.

We are also discussing names. I still really like Seth and DP is quite keen too. He likes Rowan so I was thinking, could we have a Seth Rowan? Then realised that sounds just like Seth Rogen the actor Ethan and Nathaniel are lovely. I still love Jago but I don't like 'Jay' which I imagine it would get shortened too, plus the baby's cousin is Jay (short for Jordan) .
Really love Rafferty but it is quite pretentious, I don't mind that. Only thing is my sort of ex (more of an ex FWB) who I am friends with still (but obvs have moved on!) has a Rafael and they call him Rafi which is what Rafferty would be shortened to and I worry that he will think I still have a 'thing' for him and want to steal his little boy's name! Which I most definitely don't.

So much to think about isn't there. Luckily DP likes all my girls names but we won't need them

Yes she takes some strange notions sometimes. It is odd as I am reasonably successful in my career and have always paid for and owned my own houses. I think she worries about me struggling money wise because she did as a child. I was a teacher and when I left they were not happy as think I need to have a "professional job". They are lovely but she is an oddball at times. We have had a fair few fall outs over the years. But she will apologise.

My friend's baby or boy now really is calle d Rafe. Means wolf I think. They call him Rafey. Rafferty is pretty cool. I don't know if it is a Scottish thing but we don't tend to have out there names for boys and the normal boys names seem really boring for some reason. We are getting a bit better.

9h my god! I just sneezed there while sitting sideways and I swear it felt like I had ripped something. Extreme pain down low on either side. Like a blinding hot pain! It took about two mins to slowly recede! What the heck was that about. I thought my placenta had detached or something!!!

I guess maybe the uterus walls and just stretching with the sneeze! That was bloody scary and very sore!!

Anyone had anything similar??

It’s not good news. They’ve just sat me in a side room. Heart stopped at 9.5 weeks. I’ve got to go up to the gynaecologist ward but waiting around.

Oh @Celibacydidntwork there are no words. I wish I could give you a hug... Just writing that doesn't seem enough, but I am so so very sorry xx

@Celibacydidntwork so so sorry 🙁 A few of us here have been exactly where you are now. Sending you lots of love. I know that doesn't help 😔

@Sheera1 round ligament pain and weak muscles probably- happens to me too especially if I sneeze in bed.

Any experience on what is best option? Natural, medical or op? They’re saying op a wait because of covid

Oh I'm so so sorry @Celibacydidntwork

I had the op after baby's heartbeat stopped at 11 weeks.. Had to wait a week at that time and had a little bit of bleeding the day before I was scheduled to go in. The op itself was fine. I felt a bit sore and crampy for about a week and obviously the emotional pain went on a lot longer. I'm so sorry, it's such a horrible thing to happen xx

@Celibacydidntwork I'm so sorry you are going through this. Are they allowing your partner in now? Might be worth asking.

I know there are lots of us here who understand from personal experience and for me I took some tablets they offered to move things along. I went back in three days later to have more tablets and that day it was all over.
It's such an awful shock for you and to be on your own in hospital is awful. There are lots of threads on mumsnet full of women who understand too and I got lots of support and good practical advice back in October when I needed it.
Take all the time you need to decide things and if you need any support just ask. X

They’ve said no to partner. I’ve asked three times. They’ve offered a pessary but it has to be administered there and now, or I can go home and decide