Pregnant after Missed Miscarriage MMC

[Smilingdonkey]

Hi, starting this thread -very tentitively- as a graduation from the TTC after MMC group. A couple of us have begun to get BFPs and I would like a space to go though this with people who get why I'm so anxious - especially in the first trimester! Some of the other threads are so big and rather gung ho and I want to tread a bit gently right now!
I am only 4 weeks but have been getting progressively darker tests since 7-8dpo.
I'm becoming more certain this is not a chemical but I am being so cautious! Definitely too scared to work out a EDD yet!

Is anyone having the screening test done? I can't remember been offered it with my other 2. Just unsure what to do 🤣

I may be going against the grain but I am not worried in the least about covid. I am following the guidelines because my guilt at making someone else ill would be too much and I would obviously rather not catch it if I had the choice but the chances are any symptoms I had would be very mild given age and general health. Given the evidence shows there is no additional risk to pregnant women or unborn babies, only the normal risk of getting a fever that is the case with all illness in early pregnancy I plan to live my life as normally as I can for the sake of my own mental health.

And @bubblybon20 I'm getting the screening. I'm getting on a bit and the mmc I had in March was a trisomy 16 so every chance there could be a chromosomal issue again which I would rather know about. Whether it would change any decision we made is a different matter, unless of course it is a fatal condition then it is much easier to plan for earlier than later. It makes me so nervous but I was so blasé about it with my other pregnancies so never had it done. I think the NHS only offer it if your bloods and 12 weeks scan show a high risk? Could be wrong though.

@swishswashswoosh I just had a phone call with my midwife prior to my appointment Thursday, and she mentioned it I said I wasn't sure so going to discuss further on Thursday 🤷🏻‍♀️

Wow I've missed loads of messages. Too many for me to tag people

Regarding covid I do follow the rules and wear and mask and social distance etc but then work in a hospital where there are covid patients so?

My sick note runs out this week and since my sickness has gone I'm not going to ask for another.

I didn't have the screening with DD and I don't know wether to this time.

@alew I really hope your scan went well, been thinking about you ❤

@Sakura54 yeah the hospital is like a 20minutes walk and we don't have a car (will get one before the birth but never needed one with both of us working in central London) so makes it so much easier for these early appts as the next option would be Whipps Cross, but it's a nightmare to get to on public transport x

@bubblybon20 Do you mean screening tests for DS, Patau and Edwards you get from bloods at booking appt? this is my first so out of curiosity what would be the reason not to? I didn't actually even think about it or look into what it meant or talk to OH about it 🙈

@swishswashswoosh I'm probably the same as you, I'm more concerned about passing it on and the impact on the economy of a 2nd spike than I am about getting it myself x

Ohhh @Workingmama1 ignore the test - there are so many variables there and they eventually start getting lighter again anyway, don’t they?! I’m sure everything is A-OK 💕

@ALew15 I hope all is ok 💕

@SmileyT yesssss, at the 12 week scan they look at the next and fluids ect! I was never offered it with either of my boys before, so was a bit surprised when she asked me 🤣 im going to get it done tho, no matter what outcome can slightly prepare myself! I think some people decide not too, because obviously if something's high risks it's more tests and sometimes people have to make decisions based on the test, and they wouldn't want to be in that sort of situation if that weirdly makes sense!

Just looking and it won't be long until we all get our scan dates through and the chats already on 800+ maybe we should start the next thread with all our due dates or if we get to a 1000 quicker start with the dates of our 12 week scans.. think that's similar to your idea isn't it @Sakura54.. hopefully in the next 200ish comments some of us will have a letter for our appointment..

@bubblybon20 thats a good idea.. i have my scan date, its 24th August! (If everything continues to go well until then!)

I've opted for the screening hoping it will give me peace of mind but if its high risk, I dont think I would have further tests. I don't know really, think I need to read into it more!

@DanceM1 ooo that's really exciting! It'll fly by that will. Hope you're well! X

I'm stepping away from the tests now i think. Have 2 CD digital tests in the cupboard but don't think they will help me if I don't see progression i want so not doing anymore. It stressed me out so much today I lost half an hour googling one step line progression! It wasn't fmu and it was a massive wee as I'd drunk loads so putting it down to being diluted. I got 2-3 then 3+ last time and it still didn't work out so it doesn't really tell you much I guess.

Setting myself little targets now. Thursday I will be 5 weeks, tell my boss next Monday and my parents the following weekend at 6.5 weeks. Hopefully all goes well till then.

I got a case of wine delivered today ordered before we found out, my husband doesn't really drink wine so I'm desperately hoping we dont end up opening it for another 8 months!

@bubblybon20 I think its pretty standard to offer the screening tests as part of the 12 week scan now. We did it for my daughter and my hospital just returns "low risk" if the risk is less than 1:150. Others give you more detail like risk factors of 1:138593. My midwife described it well, even if its 1 in a million someone is the million! My friend got a result of 1:3 and so had further testing but luckily all was fine. Caused her a lot of stress though.

@bubblybon20 good idea. I'm waiting for the midwife to ring for my booking appointment. They said it should be the end of this week then they'll send my scan letter but from my early scan I think I'm due on the 13th march up to now.

@workingmama it took me ages to get a dark line on an IC even when my frer were dark. I've just looked at mine I took the first one on the 30th of June that was a proper squinter and then it wasn't till like the 16th of July till it was dark. And even then it wasn't as dark as the control line. So try not to worry.

And after so many weeks I think your hcg starts to drop anyway so your line would be fainter. But don't quote me on that statement

@bubblybon20 yep that makes sense about people wanting to not have the decision to make when they are given the information. My 12 week scan is on the 7th September, still ages away for me 😩 and EDD currently is 20th March based on LMP and early scan x

@Workingmama1 yes definitely step away from the tests (although this can be hard). Mini milestones is a great way to get through the time, my next milestone is my bloods on Saturday and after that I'll focus on something else. I'm still yet to tell anyone apart from my partner 😬

Morning everyone! How are we all?

@Workingmama1 Little milestones is definitely a good way to do it - it's helped me so much. Just one step at a time makes it much less overwhelming.

I'm so jealous of those of you that have scan dates already! I know I'm like a broken record but STILL no word from the hospital about my booking in appt. Will ring tomorrow/Friday if I haven't heard, just in case I've fallen through the cracks - last time I got my appointment through, got there and they'd lost my referral (and thus all of the info I'd gone through in my first midwife appt) and when I went for my 12 week scan, they told me I was booked in elsewhere even though I had the letter with me that said it was at the hospital, so I'm not too trusting of how organised they are there at the mo... 🙈

@SkyBlue20 yeah you should try chase them if you've had nothing at all, I haven't got my scan date either. The midwife rang me yesterday and said Il receive my scan appointment within the next 3 weeks, but surely il be like 15 weeks by the time the appointment will actually be 🙈🤦🏻‍♀️

@skyblue20 definitely chase them. If I've not heard this week I'm going to ring up Monday. Doubt I'll get through though it took me like 4 days of ringing to get through to refer myself.

@bubblybon20 surely you'll get it sooner than 3 weeks?

Milk and cheese really sends my belly funny. Which is not good when I was craving a cheese butty last night. Ate one then felt dreadful about an hour after.

My follow up scan is tomorrow. I'm so nervous. Luckily it's very early morning - 8am - so don't have to wait all day

@ew1990 yeah I hope I do get one sooner. But they still have me down for 9 weeks, as apparently they don't pay any attention to private scans. And she said I'll recieve my appointment threw next week or the week after, i think it'll be around the last week of August/1st sept which I will be around 13/14 weeks 🤷🏻‍♀️ just have to wait and see!

How strange about cheese and milk, especially when you fancy one. My tummy goes off with egg 🤢 and I used to love eggs! So weird!

Ah that's good and even better it's a very early one! How many weeks will you be tomorrow? 😀

Well they asked me date of last period. I said I dont have one as I've not had a period since MMC. So I said I've had a scan at EPU and gave them that date. I should be 8+5.

@ew1990 should be a clear one then! 🤞🏻

Hopefully. Honestly I'm so scared. I really wanted it to be Thursday and now it's nearly here I don't want to go 😐 I'm sure everything will be fine but it doesn't stop the doubts.

Hope everyones doing ok

@ew1990 @bubblybon20 I’m intolerant to dairy and egg but pregnancy actually really helps it (sorry!) - I read that the prenatal vitamins can help absorb some of the dairy and that also baby takes some of it, so I’m loving eating as many cheese sandwiches as possible (just finished one in fact) 😂🙈

Good luck for tomorrow @ew1990, I’m sure everything will be fine but completely understand the nerves. Happy it’s an early one for you!

I bit the bullet and rang the midwife, she said to wait another week and if I haven’t heard anything to call her back and she’ll chase the hospital. She said it may be that my hospital will do my booking appointment and scan at the same time... my husband’s best friend’s girlfriend is a midwife at the hospital so may just ask her (they know about the pregnancy - was too stressful trying to hide it from them last time knowing she might find out by seeing my very uncommon name on a list or seeing my in the hospital!)

@skyblue20 I'm so jealous of your cheese sandwiches. They are my only craving and it's awful after I've are one. I feel really sick. Have stomach pains and loose bowels (sorry for tmi)

@ew1990 Sounds exactly like me when my intolerances are playing up, I really feel your pain. How annoying that your body is craving what it can't have!

@bubblybon20 Yes, I did suggest that as it’d be nice to keep track of how far we all are once we have our scans. I did think about scan dates too but not many of us have our dates yet. Let’s see how long it takes us to get to 1k posts.

I accept all the tests and injections offered as it’s better to be safe and to find out if baby is ok. Even managed to fit in a last minute flu jab in my last pregnancy!

@SmileyT That is so close! If mine were that close I would happily walk there. Are all your appointments there? I think it’d take an hour by public transport to get to my local hospital and it’s a 20 mins drive so DH had to drive me in my first pregnancy. Most my appointments were at the local children centre though which was just down the road. My parents’ hospital is less than 10 mins drive from their house, so another reason why I’ve chosen it. Most of my appointments are there which isn’t ideal as I’d rather not keep going inside busy hospitals with long wait times.

@SkyBlue20 I don’t usually eat sandwiches, only grilled cheese for breakfast but cheese sandwich sounds yum! My appetite is still so bad in the late afternoons, I’m literally forcing myself to overeat at lunch as I know dinner is a struggle due to nausea and heartburn. I’m avoiding Gaviscon, but will take it if really needed. I’ve been wanting to eat sandwiches for dinner as I know they won’t make me feel sick but my mum (yes, I’m still staying at my family home lol) makes a lot of food so I try to eat what I can at least.

How’s everyone else’s appetites now? Getting better, worse or the same?

@Sakura54 I have zero appetite! I think it's a combination of pregnancy, fighting off a nasty cold and anxiety. I need to get a handle on the anxiety as it is doing me no good. Latest issue stabbing pains above my right hip bone, so I'm thinking it must be ectopic! I need to be more rational.and also.accept I can't change anything either...

How are peoples partners/husbands dealing with the pregnancy? My husband's approach appears to be to ignore it, I think so he doesn't have to be too sad if it goes wrong. But its impossible to ignore if its making you feel sick and giving you weird pains and twinges as you can't just ignore the physical signs! I really wish I could have his attitude. He doesn't seem to get why I'm so nervous.