Pregnant after Missed Miscarriage MMC

[Smilingdonkey]

Hi, starting this thread -very tentitively- as a graduation from the TTC after MMC group. A couple of us have begun to get BFPs and I would like a space to go though this with people who get why I'm so anxious - especially in the first trimester! Some of the other threads are so big and rather gung ho and I want to tread a bit gently right now!
I am only 4 weeks but have been getting progressively darker tests since 7-8dpo.
I'm becoming more certain this is not a chemical but I am being so cautious! Definitely too scared to work out a EDD yet!

@swishswashswoosh I think it's lovely that you are thinking so much about your friend. I think maybe just call her the day before like you suggested and explain why you've done that. I know i would really have appreciated it xx

@swishswashswoosh I think that your approach sounds really good, a close friend of mine sent me a text to let me know rather than bringing it up in person at first and I appreciated the space to react on my own and prepare my brave face for seeing her in person.

@Maggi85 I don’t mind what symptoms it gives me if it helps this little one have a chance of clinging on! My doctor didn’t seem to know too much about it but he said he totally understood the attitude of wanting to try anything that might help. I’ve heard they can be quite uncomfortable, how did you find it?

Morning all!

@Workingmama1 I totally get you on the feeling more positive this time - I just feel like it's all going to be ok, but equally that could just be hope rather than a 'feeling', I guess. We won't know until they're safely here, which is terrifying! That's great line progression - all looking good there! Glad your daughter's Covid test came back negative and hope you all feel better soon xx

@Poppy10121 I do the blood check every time I go to the loo, too, and am also waking up super thirsty, but can't drink lots of water quickly when I wake up as it makes me feel so ill!

@bubblybon20 What a great scan, congratulations! Amazing that you're measuring a week ahead, too - hope that happens to me 😂

@ew1990 Sending love and strength - it's so hard when you have a feeling. Look after yourself the best you can and remember, it could just be your mind's way of protecting you IN CASE something has gone wrong, it doesn't necessarily mean it has. I think you, @WorkingMama1 and I must all live relatively close as also in lockdown and also on the North side of Manchester. Hey neighbours! 👋🏼

@ALew15 Sending hugs, it's so hard feeling so rough! Are you able to just relax a little and sleep as much as possible? On my worst days I find sleep is the only thing that helps.

@SmileyT Great scan! So glad everything was ok!

@swishswashswoosh You sound like a great friend. I think your plan of telling her beforehand is a good one - a month after the MMC (and before my MVA), on my b'day Zoom call with friends, one of our friends just dropped in that his wife is pregnant (and due the same month as I was) and it hit hard, I had to just excuse myself for five minutes to compose myself, so I definitely think giving her that time when you're not one-on-one would be really kind. Sounds like she'd be really happy for you anyway and giving her that extra time to process it will allow her to be ok when you're together.

How was everybody's weekend? We took Friday off work and husband and I drove to find a quiet beach and spent the day there, eating fish and chips and ice cream and generally just hanging out, was so nice to get away even for a few hours. The rest of the weekend we organised the house a bit (and tackled Ikea - never again!), so all in all, quite nice. I'm feeling awful today though, really, really nauseous. Husband is off to the supermarket to stock up on orange cordial (as I can't face water) and crackers. I don't know what else I want/need but so far have managed to get two pieces of toast and butter down me and feel marginally better. I think another lunchtime nap is on the cards.

Was thinking last night that I think I will get a private 10 week scan - I was thinking through the 12 week one and how awful it will be going back to the same place as last time, on my own, and maybe getting bad news, and I think I'd rather have DH there a couple of weeks before to hand hold. I know I could still get bad news at the 12 week scan but it reduces the odds slightly if we've had good news at 10 weeks - as it stands, we have absolutely no idea what's going on in there.

Still not heard from my hospital re: booking appt, it's been two weeks since I rang and I'm 8+1 today. At what point do you think I should give them a call in case I've been missed? Know booking appts are usually between 8-10 weeks, so thinking maybe towards the end of this week?

Just booked my 10 week scan for next Sunday (16th). Wasn't 100% sure but now I've done it, I'm relieved. Annoyingly, they only had one appt left, which is really late in the day, so that wait isn't going to be fun, but at least we got one! Nice to have another milestone to aim for...nervous though.

@SkyBlue20 sounds like you've had quite a nice weekend! I wouldn't worry about your booking appointment until 9 weeks but hopefully you'll get a phone call some point this week! They booked mine in for last Thursday I worked out 8+3 But cancelled. Obviously now I've jumped a whole week ahead so I'm going to be 10+3. Big obviously they wouldn't know as they've not seen of spoken to me yet 🤷🏻‍♀️ just hope she doesn't cancel again 🙄
As longs it's defo before 10 weeks they tend to push you in ASAP if your close to then.

Ahh lovely you've booked your scan, it's not far at all' hopefully come round really fast for you. I can really relate to how you're feeling though. Obviously I lost all my symptoms on the build up to my scan, and I was prepared for the absolute worst! But I had a feeling it would be okay. I purely think we literally read into every single detail, plus you've got some strong symptoms so I'm sure you'll be okay 🤞🏻💕

Exciting you've booked your scan @skyblue20! Hopefully the days will go fast to next weekend. I thought the tww went slow buy early pregnancy is even slower!

@swishswashswoosh I think your right and it would be good to tell her before you see her, the she can process the news in her own way. You're a great friend considering her feelings like that.

Hi everyone, I’ve been a bit quiet but have been reading all of your messages.

I had a scan today and all is good, confirmed I am 8 weeks and they could see the heartbeat. No photos unfortunately.

@swishswashswoosh I think a call or text the day before is a good idea, two friends did this to me after my first pregnancy loss and it was much easier than face to face. Another friend announced her pregnancy on a group WhatsApp which I felt was insensitive, although she hasn’t had any fertility issues so don’t think she really gets it.

For nausea, I’ve found ginger cordial mixed with fizzy water makes me feel a lot better. That and eating carbs every 2 hours!

@SmileyT woohoo another good scan in the group! So pleased for you.

Thanks to all of you for the advice re my friend. I'll call her tomorrow so she has some time. I thought that would be best but I seem to be doubting almost every decision I make at the moment 🤷🏼‍♀️

@bubblybon20 It’s on the 18th so over 2 weeks. I’ll be 11 +4 or 12 +2 according to LMP. It’s at such a late time though so who knows how I’m going to relax while waiting literally all day, plus I wake up early.

@smileyt You with North Middlesex hospital? My in-laws are in Enfield.

I’d say text her and she can respond when she’s ready. She knows you’ve been through a lot yourself so hopefully will be happy for you @swishswashswoosh

I’m drinking ginger tea ATM. Spicy and sweet, it burns your throat. As well as helping with nausea, ginger is supposedly healthy in general when pregnant. I can go all day without drinking anything and don’t ever feel thirst for some reason so I’m trying to make an effort to drink.

@Sakura54 that's not too far! 🤩🤩

Thanks, @bubblybon20 - around nine weeks is what I was thinking, I think I'll call either Friday (8+5) or Monday (9+1) if I've not heard by then. How annoying that you've not had yours yet, not long to go though! I do feel like I've JUST had a booking appt, can they not just use my old notes? 😂 I was just a bit worried as last time I had to have bloods done pre-10 weeks to test for Thalassaemia (I was a higher chance of having it due to genetic background), however I'm assuming that I came back clear from having the gene last time, so presumably won't have magically sprouted it now!

@Workingmama1 The TWW feels like a walk in the park compared to the eight(ish) weeks of waiting between BFP and 12 week scan. Doesn't feel like that when you're in the middle of it, mind. I remember last pregnancy being like 'next time I'm going to test really late so there's less time to wait until the 12 week scan' and during this TWW thinking 'not a chance'.

@SpiderBrooch Glad your scan went well!

I had a huge lunch at 1pm, followed by ice cream and I'm hungry again. How?! Going to end up the size of a house, I can't stop eating and all I want are carbs and sweet things, nothing healthy!

@swishswashswoosh I told my friend who has been trying for 4 years when I got pregnant accidentally with my DD. I sent her an email before announcing it to all out other friends so that she could respond in private and she thanked me for that later xxxx

Thanks for your messages regarding my nausea. Thankfully I'm off work and able to laze around all day and DH is so good at picking up the housework.

We are off to our early scan now (6:15pm) I'm so nervous, I feel more sick than usual! I think I have PTSD after last time. X

Good luck @ALew15 I hope it all goes fine!

@SkyBlue20 your weekend sounds lovely! I'm desperate to go to Ikea and sort out some bits in our house but also terrified to go, so probably won't! I'm with you on the eating, I feel like I never lost the weight from last time when I pigged out on crisps and cheese sandwiches, and now I will pile on even more. Luckily its a season for dresses not tight jeans!!

@Workingmama1 I feel like time is at a standstill! A week has never gone so slowly in my LIFE!

@SpiderBrooch glad you got a good scan result too, it's so nice to see everyone's healthy scans :-)

@Sakura54 How funny, we are the opposite! I must drink about 2-3l of water most days, plus decaf tea and soft drinks sometimes. Since getting pregnant again I have such a thirst especially in the morning. I love ginger tea though, so spicy and delicious!

I woke up this morning and didn't immediately feel sick so panicked and took another PT which had a stronger line than last week's so... I need to calm down! Did someone else say that their sickness felt less bad after a good night's sleep? I definitely seem to have had that after sleeping for an epic 10 hours last night! Have picked up my Cyclogest from the pharmacy today so will start that tonight, fingers crossed it helps.

Good luck @ALew15! 🤞🏼

@Poppy10121 The worst bit about Ikea was having to wear a mask the whole way round, I felt like I couldn’t get enough breath in as I’m short of breath as it is, so had to keep stopping in quiet corners to pull my mask down and take a deep breath. There were parts that were really busy, too, that made it worse, plus they didn’t have most of what we wanted 😤 Still got a few bits though!
I definitely think I feel less sick after a good night’s sleep - I woke up really early this morning and have felt awful all day, today has been the closest I’ve been to actually throwing up a few times 🤢

Good luck @ALew15 xx

@swishswashswoosh you sound like fabulous supportive friends, I hope it goes well when you speak to her xx

@SkyBlue20 sounds like you had a lovely weekend but sorry you was feeling a bit poop today... also I think the scan plan sounds like a really good idea so you and OH can be together. I think a lot of trusts are doing bloods and stuff at 12week scan now so hopefully you still have a bit of time, but no harm in calling them. I called up for my scan date and they said a letter had been sent the week before and it still hasn't arrived so I'm glad I rang x

Congrats on the successful scan @SpiderBrooch ❤️

@Sakura54 yeah I'm registered at North Mid, I've heard loads of mixed reviews but I'm going with it 🙈 where are you based?

@ALew15 hope all was good with the scan x

Random question I meant to ask yesterday, @SkyBlue20 which beach did you go to? I really wanted to go to the beach on Friday but we had to self isolate because of my daughters temperature so couldnt go 😪 want to find a quiet one to maybe try at the weekend.

Both mine and husbands covid tests have come back negative so back to work for him and nursery for my daughter which is good! How is everyone feeling about the whole pandemic issue? I know some hospitals are starting to relax rules on partners at scans and post birth, hoping by the time we get there they will be more relaxed (🤞 no second wave!). Like last time I will try to keep away from people but I'm lucky as I can work from home but husband and daughter are both at work/nirsery daily now so I guess that is an increased risk.

@Workingmama1 Glad your COVID tests were negative 🙌🏾 I'm just kinda sticking to guidance on social distancing, me and OH have been working in the office and getting the tube to work throughout so not sure we are reducing the risk at all but unfortunately work aren't giving us any options to stay at home 😩

Morning!

@Workingmama1 We went to Morcambe. The town isn't up to much and the main part of the beach was really busy but we just walked down about another 5/10mins and there was a huge bit of really quiet beach (opposite the Morrisons, which was useful for toilet trips). The whole stretch of beach is really long (we walked it, it was miles!) and it was just the middle bit that was crazy. Weather is meant to be lovely this weekend so would be worth a trip! Word of warning, we left the house at 10am (ish) and the roads were already busy - took us two hours instead of one to get there, so go early.
Fab that your tests came back negative. I'm not thinking too much about the whole being pregnant/giving birth in a pandemic thing just yet - hopefully it'll be a lot less prevalent by March 🤞🏼I think our hospital is EXTRA strict from what I've seen/experienced, so can't imagine they'll be loosening the rules any time soon, especially with local lockdown, so not expecting DH to be able to go to the 12 week scan but hopefully things might have changed by 20 weeks 🤞🏼🤞🏼
In terms of day-to-day, we're just keeping to social distancing really. Still working from home so no worries there and my husband always works from home anyway so no risk of him having to be back in the office - we're very lucky in that regard. We are going out to eat and for (non-alcoholic) drinks (for me) but trying to stick to places where we can sit outside and where we know are following the guidance well. I guess that's all we can do - it's a fine balance between getting back to some sort of normality and being mindful of the virus. It saddens me so much that everyone on social media now seems to have gone back to normal though, meeting up with huge groups of friends, pics of them all bundled together, hugging, sharing drinks, etc - I'm too scared I'll get it and it'll affect baby and that I'll pass it on to my parents!

How's everyone doing today? I'm MUCH better than yesterday, thankfully. Still feeling a bit sickly but much more manageable!

I waa feeling positive today and then made the mistake of poas. Using my IC which have never given me a strong line even with my dye stealer with the frer and its still a barely there line, no stronger than Sunday which has sent me into a freak out. I don't know why I did it!

Alsp yes @skyblie20 for seeing people clearly not following the guidance on social media! It makes me really mad that 1)they are doing it 2) clearly don't see an issue with it if they put those photos on social media!

@Workingmama1 Glad you are all Covid-free! Sorry to hear you freaked out about the HPT, I really think it's probably better not to use them (pot kettle - I did another one yesterday!) because they don't tell us very much and apparently it can vary a lot depending on concentration of your urine which might just be how hydrated you are and nothing more! Fingers crossed its just that.

@skyblue20 I keep almost forgetting we are in a pandemic because I have been working from home with my husband and don't go out a lot. We have had a few friends over in the garden but only ever 2-3 people at a time and we keep a distance. I went out for a meal with a friend last week which was lovely and felt quite safe. But when I went to the shops yesterday to pick up my progesterone I was horrified by how many people are hanging around in groups and so many people in shops without masks on, it's not being enforced at all! I am really hoping that the hospital will let my husband in for the 12 week scan but if not, I will book a private one at 11 weeks because I cannot take the news on my own again.

I started my progesterone pessaries last night and I'm feeling hopeful (for now). I wish I could fast forward 7 weeks just to check and then come back though!

@SmileyT It makes sense to go for your local hospital because who wants to travel far when in pain or leaking! I’m in East London and this time registered with my parents’ local hospital (where I was born) which isn’t great either but convenience is important to me as I stay with them often and have a toddler who obviously can’t come with me to appointments.

@Workingmama1 I take it pretty seriously. I’ve been wearing a mask since the get go (even during my MVA), staying indoors or at my parents’ house most of the time (also due to pregnancy symptoms), not letting DS play at the park and had a CV test. However, my mum and siblings are back to work, DH has started a new job where he will have to go in soon and DS is starting nursery next month!

@SkyBlue20 It also pisses me off how people just don’t care and are continuing like normal, including my in-laws hence why we haven’t seen them and have missed all the gatherings since Feb!

@ALew15 was the scan ok?

@Sakura54 I also haven't bothered with my husbands family since Covid, as they've been going pubs every night and meeting different people all over the place. I rather not put myself or anyone at risk because they can't social distance or wear masks. It's sad; but I haven't protected myself and my family to go catch it from someone who can't be bothered to think of other people 😂🤷🏻‍♀️