Pregnant after Missed Miscarriage MMC

[Smilingdonkey]

Hi, starting this thread -very tentitively- as a graduation from the TTC after MMC group. A couple of us have begun to get BFPs and I would like a space to go though this with people who get why I'm so anxious - especially in the first trimester! Some of the other threads are so big and rather gung ho and I want to tread a bit gently right now!
I am only 4 weeks but have been getting progressively darker tests since 7-8dpo.
I'm becoming more certain this is not a chemical but I am being so cautious! Definitely too scared to work out a EDD yet!

@skyblue20 My 12 week scan is in 3 weeks! I feel like I’ve been waiting forever. No, if it wasn’t for the hospital I wouldn’t have had an early scan. It's going to be an interesting wait. My symptoms completely disappeared at 10 weeks last time. Those that have their 12 week scans booked, when is it?

I’ve accepted the fact I’ll be alone at my scans. I mean I’ve done it before and got bad news, so I can do it again and hopefully come out with a scan pic this time; just as long as someone is waiting for me outside the hospital!

@Sakura54 3 weeks is not too long!
You must be one of the furthest in the group ain't you? X

HI everyone, I'm hoping I can join your thread? I got my BFP on Friday and am only 4 weeks today after a MMC in January (measured 5 wks, MC naturally at 8 weeks) and MC in April (measured 8 weeks, heartbeat seen at 6 weeks, medical management at 9 weeks). I was absolutely fine all weekend - relieved actually as our first PG took 2.5yrs TTC - but had to go to the hospital today to get a progesterone prescription and now I'm a wreck. I stupidly read a medical paper while waiting for the prescription that said progesterone doesn't do anything and I think in my head I felt like this was the thing that would fix me and now I think it won't. I'm 36, I feel like I'm running out of time and that there's something wrong with me that just hasn't been found yet and that this PG is destined to fail. I know the best thing I can do is stay positive but I'm scared. How do you get through these days?

@skyblue20 hope the cat lets you sleep tonight.

@flatewhite32 hope your uti eases up soon and your nausea too.

Yesterday was the worse for me. Just vomiting all day. Managed to eat chicken soup. Picked up a prescription for some anti sickness meds this morning so hopefully they help.

7+3 today and I've still not rang the midwife. Im putting it off for some reason but I really need to ring as they do your booking appointment at 8 weeks

@mimba welcome. It is scary but I think we all just take it one day at a time. I wake up and tell myself today I'm pregnant.

I dont have any experience with progesterone so can't comment but maybe someone else has x

@Mimba1 welcome. Hopefully you find some comfort with us all in the same sort of situation x

@ew1990 I held it for a while, and am really nervous about mine. But at least it'll be booked x

@bubblybon20 Agreed, time seems to be going so slowly but then tomorrow is three weeks since my BFP and I’m not too sure where the time has gone, it’s a strange one!

@Sakura54 Eeek, it’ll be here before you know it! You can ABSOLUTELY do it alone. This time will be different, it’ll be better, you’ll have that lovely little scan photo to take out at the end 💕 The odds are in your favour.

Welcome, @Mimba1. I’m so sorry for your losses and congratulations on your BFP! It’s such an anxious time but I am finding that every day gets a tiny bit easier. We’re all so much stronger than we know and we get through it little by little - I’ve found little focus points have helped so at first it was five weeks, then six, then calling the midwife, then it’ll be my booking appt (when I eventually get the date!), then getting past the time baby stopped growing last time, then maybe an early scan, then my 12 week scan and onwards. It doesn’t make it easy but it helps. We’re all here for a handhold, too - this group has been invaluable as we all know how it feels.

@ew1990 So sorry your sickness has been so bad, I hope the medication helps. If it helps, I read an article today (from about 10 years ago) saying that morning sickness is allegedly linked to having smarter babies so you must be having a genius! 😂🙈

I’m still feeling horrendous. Had a half hour nap at lunch and am now cuddled up on the bed watching Friends. I’m struggling to function and need to eat constantly or I just feel worse and worse but I seem to have an aversion to anything that’s good for me 🤢 God knows what my poor DH is going to sort for dinner - even I don’t know what I want 🙈 I should count myself lucky that I’m not actually being sick (though I have felt close a few times today) and I will never complain about my symptoms taking a break again! 😫

@skyblue20 no i won't complain they've gone again 😂 the only thing that's appealing to me is chicken soup. Yes it must be a genius!

@bubblybon20 I'm going to book it before the end of this week

Welcome @Mimba1, sorry to hear about your losses. I'm on progesterone this time for a barely there lining. It's a worry for me too that it might just be stopping any natural end that this may come to.

I have an early scan on Wednesday so I'll report back after that. I'm definitely not looking forward to it. I would rather know if something is wrong but equally I don't want to feel that aching disappointment and pain again.

I still haven't rung the midwife or referred myself to the maternity unit yet. After being called and berated for missing an appointment (that I had definitely cancelled after the mmc) I told them why I had cancelled it and her response was 'oh right. Fine. Bye' made me feel like shit and definitely makes my decision easier in waiting as I never want to experience that again. They can do your booking in appt any time before your 12 week scan (or closer to 14weeks in my trust) they only need the blood tests results to go along with the scan measurements to give a risk score.

Hope everyone else is feeling ok/manageable. Sickness has crept up on me but I think related to being tired. I'm not complaining. I worry about symptoms and lack of even though I know from experience how varied it all is.

@Sakura54 three weeks isn't long at all until your 12 week scan. All fingers crossed it all goes super smoothly!

@swishswashswoosh thanks, good to know someone else is feeling the same. There wasn't a specific reason for me being prescribed it I don't think - just gut feel from the nurse based on my history so who knows. I definitely wasn't prepared for how completely gross the pessaries would be (probably should've been)!

I know what you mean about appointments - same thing happened to me. Fortunately DH was there and grabbed the phone and told them off which made me feel a lot better. I'm putting off contacting the community midwife but have an appt at EPU for an early scan so feel like I'm "in the system". Honestly my hospital women's unit have been fab through infertility and both MC. Local midwives, though well-intentioned have been tactless and given me some really poor advice - maybe it's because once it goes wrong you don't deal with them anymore so they don't know what to do/say? Or maybe I was just unlucky both times!

Fingers crossed for your scan tomorrow. As you say, it's better to know but really worrying. I hope you get the good news you deserve.

@SkyBlue20 thanks. Yes, one day at a time. It always goes so quickly with hindsight. Garden table and chairs arriving today ahead of the good weather so that's at least something to look forward to!

Hi all!

@swishswashswoosh Good luck with the scan tomorrow, what time is it at? Nice and early I hope 🤞🏼

@Mimba1Great timing for your new garden furniture 👌🏼

I also got a text from the midwife telling me I'd missed my 16 week appt, I replied telling her what happened and just got 'Sorry, we didn't know' (the hospital had told me they'd cancel it for me). Then, about a month ago, I got a call from the midwife unit asking me where I was getting my antenatal care...I was so flustered as was taken by surprise and at first assumed it was the EPU checking on me after my MVA but after I realised, I again had to explain and to be fair to them, she was really apologetic that time. Then a few weeks later I rang to register with them again 😂🙈 It's terrible how they don't update systems and stuff - the fact it's happened to three of us (at least) shows it's not just a one-off mistake.

Is anyone on baby aspirin? I was told to maybe take it during my last pregnancy as my mum had preeclampsia when pregnant with me but didn't start taking it until late as basically my MW was like 'I would tell you to take it but you're not under our trust (as my chosen hospital is a diff trust to my MW) so I can't' so then I had to wait for my booking appt for them to confirm it. I suddenly realised yesterday that maybe I should be taking it now so took one last night but would really rather speak to someone about it, especially with the knowledge of the MMC last time. Was hoping the hospital would call to book my appt and I could ask then but they haven't yet and if I ring the MW I'll just get the same answer as last time 'well we can't really tell you to do anything as you're not in our trust', which seems stupid 🤷🏻‍♀️

@SkyBlue20 scan is late morning but the. I have a brutal afternoon of work so at least either way I will not be dwelling on any results!

The lack of system is bad. In fact when I went back for the booking of DS after first MMC they hadn't even registered it even though I had by that point told 3 different people so they had to officially close it off there any then in order to be able to start a new pregnancy. The booking MW was so confused, she thought from looking at my notes first I was coming in for a post dates appointment as that is what the timings would have put me as 🤦🏼‍♀️.

No experience of baby aspirin I'm afraid. Hopefully someone else here does!

Is it weird to think that something may be wrong? I mean I haven't really had time really to sit and overthink it all. But since last night I've just got into my head that somethings wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don't know it's because of what's happened last time, and my first midwife appointment was on Thursday.
I just feel so negative, and I just feel really down. What if my bodies trying to tell me something 😓😫 hate days like this 🤦🏻‍♀️

Midwife appointment is booked for Thursday **

@bubblybon20 ive come on to say the same thing. Woke up this morning convinced its all gone wrong. I hate this. Sooner we get to 12 weeks the better.

I've been trying to ring the midwife today but just get the machine telling me no one is in the office

@ew1990 it's such a horrible feeling 😫 hopefully you manage to get through soon, and get an appointment!

@bubblybon20 Not weird at all. We have reason to worry and have no way of knowing if things are ok. Symptoms are meaningless. I reckon everything is ok with you and you will get pass your dreaded week and you will have a successful scan on Sunday, then not long to go until 12 week scan!

Yes, I think I may be a little further on but generally our due dates are pretty close to each other’s. My scan put me back by 5 days, if not I’d have been over 9 weeks by now, so I’ll see if that’s still the case at the next scan.

@SkyBlue20 I’ve read on here how ppl who have had recurrent MCs started taking aspirin and went on to have a baby successfully. I’ve considered it myself but then I have no need to. For you, there’s potentially two reasons you should take it so it may be a good idea?

After the MMC I asked them to cancel my appts..all 6 of them, so it was ok. At my scan the other day, the first thing the sonographer said was ‘You had a scan here in April?’ then proceeded to add my new pregnancy details and scan results, merging it with my previous pregnancy by mistake! She couldn’t undo it so had to ask reception to contact the IT department to sort it out lol. I guess it’s not everyday someone has a MMC then returns to the EPU 2 seconds later with a new pregnancy.

@Sakura54 yeah it's so hard for us all 😫 I Hope symptoms are meaningless in my case, as I've had none for 3 days now! Yes it could just be nerves, because it's a bit more real having things booked' 🤷🏻‍♀️
Yes think we are pretty close!

Hello everyone, hope it is ok if I join you here. I am a mother of a fabulous daughter, and we have been trying for a while for a little sibling for her. I have just found out that I am about 4 weeks pregnant again, after a missed miscarriage earlier this year (only discovered at dating scan at 13 weeks; baby had not made it past 7 weeks). Before having our DD, I had another MMC about three years ago, again found out at dating scan. I am so grateful for my BFP but at the same time I am really anxious and have not been able to focus on anything. I have never joined a forum before in early pregnancy out of worry to 'jinx' things, but this time I feel the support is more important than my superstition! It is nice to be able to share with others who know the feelings between hope and fear. Wishing you all healthy pregnancies.

@swishswashswoosh glad it's an early one - never nice having to wait all day!

@bubblybon20 @ew1990 Huge hugs, it's such a rollercoaster of a journey. Sadly, there's no way of knowing for sure, as well we all know, but I think you just have to assume all is ok as best you can until you hear otherwise (if you even do). I sometimes think our brains have a way of assuming the worse to protect you if it should happen, too. Sending strength, you CAN do this. xx

@Sakura54 I'm so jealous of you being further ahead even though it isn't that far really 😂 Just wishing the days away at the moment! Yes, I think you're right re: aspirin - I was reading a thread on here earlier of people who took it after recurrent miscarriage and it seemed to help them. I just worry there may be reasons not to, would like to talk it through with someone but I think for now, I'll just take it. When the bloody hell are the hospital going to ring?! I'm an impatient person at the best of times but especially now!

@brewstermama Welcome! I'm so sorry for your losses and sending congratulations on your BFP. It's such a horribly anxious time but you're right, it's nice to be able to share that with others who are going through the same thing. What's your estimated due date? xx

@SkyBlue20 interested to know if you find out about aspirin. I had a blood clot in my eye caused by taking the pill when I was in my 20s so worried about this and managed to get thrombophilia screening. It came back negative so assume I don't need this? But if there's a straw out there I will do everything in my power to grasp it!

@bubblybon20 not weird. I'm so sorry you feel that way. Yesterday I was bawling my eyes out convinced it was over, today I am still anxious but a lot calmer. I sometimes wish you could just pretend it wasn't happening and get a bit of time off thinking about it but there are daily vitamin pills and foods to avoid and cramping and queasiness and millions of real and imaginary twinges... My counsellor always tells me to remember that there are good days and bad days. If today is bad a better day is around the corner and it's perfectly normal to be up and down.

@brewstermama welcome. I joined MN in my second PG and found it so helpful. It didn't have the ending I wanted but the journey was so much easier having people to talk to and ask the silly questions - you already know you won't be jinxing anything!

My garden table and chairs have arrived! I am going to sit out there and have a (soft) drink even if I have to wear my winter coat to do it...

@Mimba1 you're right, it's most likely just a down day! I think it's so hard to feel that full positive. But hopefully after a couple more weeks, or my scan il start to feel more hopeful if all is ok! Thankyou. X

@SkyBlue20 you always seem so positive, but you're right, I think I'm probably just preparing myself for the worse, yet don't even know if that'll happen! X

@bubblybon20 hope you are feeling more positive today ☺️

Is anyone else struggling to concentrate? I'm supposed to be WFH and we're really busy but apart from physically turning up to video calls I'm finding it really hard to do anything - I just can't stay focused while I'm feeling so anxious. Any tips?