Pregnant after Missed Miscarriage MMC

[Smilingdonkey]

Hi, starting this thread -very tentitively- as a graduation from the TTC after MMC group. A couple of us have begun to get BFPs and I would like a space to go though this with people who get why I'm so anxious - especially in the first trimester! Some of the other threads are so big and rather gung ho and I want to tread a bit gently right now!
I am only 4 weeks but have been getting progressively darker tests since 7-8dpo.
I'm becoming more certain this is not a chemical but I am being so cautious! Definitely too scared to work out a EDD yet!

@ALew15 I’ll be 6 weeks then, so early still! I haven’t spoken to my GP at all, but I will do the online referral to the midwives now. I kind of don’t want to do anything because I might somehow cause everything to go wrong, but that is silly I know!

Morning all!

@Millymay13 A half marathon sounds amazing - my aim in life is to do a marathon! I had wanted to do it before I was 30 but it's now 40 (I'm 33). I WILL get there.
Glad you can get an early appointment, fingers crossed for you 🤞🏼

@Flatwhite32 That's great news! 🎉 So happy for you!
@ALew15 I've been back on the bread, butter and cheese all week, must stop! (Wouldn't mind but I don't even like butter and am dairy intolerant but apparently pregnancy demands it of me - I was the same last time!)

I also haven't spoken to any sort of medical professional yet, might call the midwife at the end of next week or early the one after, when I'll be six weeks. Still haven't told our mums, we seem to be unintentionally putting it off but seeing them tomorrow and would rather not tell them face-to-face so have to do it today (I don't want to make a big deal out of it - I'm happy to just send them a text with the pic of the test saying 'here we go again' tbh but husband wants to ring them)...

I also haven't spoken to a doctor or midwife, holding off as long as possible. As at the start or lockdown I rang at 6 weeks for an appointment and they booked it for 9 weeks.. but I MC the night before 😰 i just have a fear of it happening again 🙈

So I just phoned my GP surgery and they advised me to ring back when I am 7 weeks (another 3) and they will either give me the number for the Midwife line or arrange an appointment. She said that things might be changing from telephone consultation to face to face in the next few weeks (Wales) so fingers crossed we have timed it well ladies!

@SkyBlue20 we had a chat last night about telling parents. I didn't get to do it last time, only told them about the MMC which was shit. We said if I continue to feel well then we will keep secret a little longer (maybe until and early scan) but if I get ill again then we'll tell sooner 😬

@Bubblybon Can see how that would be terrifying, sending a big handhold.

@ALew15 Face-to-face would be great and very good timing for us all!) We're going to tell our mums just because we see them a lot and if the worst were to happen, we'd tell them anyway, so may as well tell them about the pregnancy. Will tell my dad because I'd feel bad if my mum knew and he didn't - they're separated - but otherwise I'd probably wait for the 12 week scan. Will also tell my husband's bro and his wife and my best friend but that's it - basically all of the people we'd turn to if it all went wrong again. Just know the mums' reactions are going to be more worry than excitement so doesn't feel as special as last time at all.

I still haven't rang the midwives. I did last time as soon as I found out. But then had booking appointment at 6 weeks which was way too early.

Went to epu again this morning for 2nd lot of bloods. They still havent rang. Last time I had them at half 7 they rang at 10. I had them at 10 this morning. I hope they ring today otherwise it will be Monday 😩

@Ew1990 Hopefully they're just busy and will get back to you soon, fingers crossed - waiting is awful! 🤞🏼

Just had a chat with my husband and realised that I think I'm really reticent to tell anybody about the pregnancy (namely parents) because with the exception of coming on here and taking my vitamins, I seem to be just ignoring it mainly. I think I'm scared and vulnerable after last time and telling anyone makes it real, plus it opens them up to feeling worried and then hurt too, should anything go wrong again. At the moment it all doesn't feel like it's really happening. I had a bit of a cry and am now attempting to do some work whilst still feeling low, along with tired and nauseous. So glad the weekend is coming up. Is anyone else feeling the same, just a bit like sticking your head in the sand? I didn't realise I was doing it tbh but I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up in March!

@SkyBlue20 I fully agree and feel exactly the same, I have only told my husband, and my mum (she was at the end of the phone for me after my MC) but don't want to tell anyone else purely because I don't want to be in the place of breaking bad news again, I can't even bring myself to phone any appointments to get things moving.. because I think deep down I'm just so scared of been in that same situation again, my husband is excited and keeps wanting to talk about everything but I just can't.. I feel this is my only place to talk how I'm feeling!🤷🏻‍♀️ I wish we could all just sleep until March too, I feel like these months are going to go so slow. And all I want is to be excited 😨🤷🏻‍♀️

So my hcg has gone from 1700 to 3100 which they said is good. I'm conviced it's bad coz it should've doubled but she said anything over 60% is good.

They want me back on Monday for just one more lot for reassurance then they've pencilled me in for a scan for Friday

So according to these charts I'm either 5 weeks or 6 weeks if they are right?

@ew1990 I think they've increased a lot! And if it only has to be 60% then your defo good.. and that chart looks pretty good! If you're 5/6 weeks at least next Friday you should be able to see something at the scan :)

@bubblybon thank you. I'm a nervous wreck though.

I said to my mum before I honestly don't think I can do it again. Early pregnancy is scary without a previous MMC thrown in the mix.

Hope everyone else is doing well

@SkyBlue20 I definitely feel the same as you. I’ve only told the essential people I’ll need to know if it goes wrong, so my two closest friends and obviously my husband knows too. I have to tell work because of the pointless Covid risk assessment, plus if I have any sickness or need time off for EPU appointments it’s easier if they know.

@ew1990 I think (at least I hope) they might scan me next Friday so we can be scared together!

@millymay sounds like a plan!

My DP had just asked me if I'm sure I want a scan. I said if it's gunna go wrong it will regardless if I have a scan or not. And I need some sort of date before I ring the midwife

@ew1990 totally! The scan won’t make any difference to the outcome and at least then we can be more sure of dates. Fingers crossed for positive outcomes for all of us (and the invention of time travel so we can jump to next March!).

Glad I’m not alone but so sorry everyone else is feeling crappy, too. Hoping the next couple of months fly by for us all and we have successful 12 week scans to help ease the worry somewhat 🤞🏼

@bubblybon20 I’ve not made any appointments either. I’m 4+5 today and it feels SO early. I’m going to wait until six weeks I think before I call. See what happens.

@ew1990 Bloods sound good to me and fab that you can start estimating how far gone you are, too! Glad they’re doing the next appointment and scan quickly, hopefully by this time next week you’ll have all of the reassurance you can get at this point ☺️

Yay to it being the weekend at last! Really felt the tiredness today and yesterday. Does everyone have lovely plans? Xx

@flatwhite32 that's so great! Our first 12 week scan in this group 🥰 must be such a good feeling xxxx

I totally get what people say about not telling others - I have told a few people because I know I want them to know if it goes wrong but I'm being very blasé about it all to try and put off anyone else being excited! So far everyone seems to have picked up on it and is playing along!

I am in two minds about telling work. I have a fear they will not let me come to work in September (I'm a secondary teacher) once they know - I know I should tell them now but I really don't want to 😫

Xx

@Smilingdonkey I'm a part time primary teacher, and although I've been WFH this term, I'm going back in September! I'm so relieved as I can't bear WFH anymore!

@skyblue20 I work next door to EPU so think it might be a work perk thing as well to be honest but they did say they like to monitor women who have had a previous miscarriage so that's good.

Ive had to tell my boss so I can sneak off for the appointments. But she's being lovely

@flatwhite32 that's really promising news! Were school funny about it? I desperately don't want to be WFH in September ... I will happily sign something to say it's my choice to go in! I'm in at the moment for 1-2 days a week for GCSE lessons and I just haven't told them. I don't want to screw them over though by not saying now but I'm just not ready 😩 Surely they will let me work?

Just seen this! Thank God! I had visions of being made to stay at home!

@Smilingdonkey no they weren't funny at all thankfully. I was relieved, as working this term has been a flat out no from my headteacher, but I guess that's because the guidelines have been stricter. Hope you get to go back too!

@Flatwhite32 so glad your scan went well!! 🥰

@Flatwhite32 so glad your scan went well!! 🥰

Anyone else struggling to have food, I just don't fancy anything at all! All I've had today is peanut butter on toast, and 4 cookies.. although tonight I've felt so so hungry, but just have a funny taste in my mouth putting me off eating 🤷🏻‍♀️