Due August 2020 Thread 3

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Hi ladies new thread for all us August Due! Now on thread 3. Newbies always welcome.

@JMill13 I know! I have days where I’m overwhelmed with anger over it all, from not being able to pick my pram at the shops to not being able to show my growing bump to family, friends & colleagues, I feel like my first pregnancy has been robbed from me 😭 I know that in the grand scheme of things it’s so tiny compared to other things going on but it’s hard to see it sometimes! I take solace in knowing that my baby is safe & healthy & will be loved & surrounded by friends & family when all this is over ❤️

@newmama29 That's what gives me peace of mind too. Sometimes I guess it's normal to have a little wobble and get angry about it all. We all really have had such a strange experience compared to really anyone that's been pregnant pre-2020, so so many things considered normal haven't been our normal at all. Think them arranging to go to the pub just threw me over the edge a bit tonight. I honestly just want to get dressed up, feel nice, hair done, makeup done and go on a dinner date with my boyfriend. All the pregnancy apps, blogs etc. Talk about so many things you should do while pregnant that we can't experience but as you say at least either way baby will be happy, healthy and completely surrounded by love and we can say we carried them through a pandemic, which is going to be a little bit of History in the long run.

I'd love to sit down for a chat with the person who ate that bat in China let me tell you... 🤣😠

It’s been nice to be able to rant & rave to other woman from all different walks of life that are going through the same experience! We’re all superstars

@JMill13 that is so frustrating. My in laws are being like that so I'm worried about when the baby is here and them expecting to meet him/her.

Hi all, just been catching up.

I’ve just checked and my hospital is still that same with regards to sending birth partners home ASAP and no visiting on postnatal ward. I just don’t understand how they can open everywhere up but a father has to miss out massively on the first few hours/days of their newborns lives. If they live with you then what on earth is the problem?!

I went to see the midwife yesterday, my GD test came back clear, and she felt my tummy and told me there’s quite a long legged baby in there and also mentioned of there not being much room left 😂 I said there’s 6 weeks yet! She mentioned that it will all depend on my 37 week scan as to whether they decide to bring him early or not with him ‘measuring big’ on the last one. Not getting my hopes up for that though.

Hope you’re all okay ladies! Not long now ❤️

@BabyG08 this is what I don't get either! The fact most partners live with you it just seems like they are spiting us. It's really getting to me now & I kind of want a home birth just so my partner gets to experience it.

Also you guys know how I love my youtube, I created a video on how I spun my baby from breach to head down if anyone is interested:

We live a good half an hour away from our hospital so will be too chancey for my other half to go back home in the early stages of labour. However, there is a pub next to the hospital so he can just sit in there.

In many hospitals, partners usually cannot stay once you're out of your delivery room anyway, particularly if there's a ward setup. This is standard practice in my experience, though I have been fortunate to have a private room every time - my second labour was so fast and they weren't overly busy, they discharged me straight from the delivery room 4hrs later and didn't transfer me at all.

I had an appointment yesterday and asked about birth partner being there, they said once you are in established labour they are allowed to be with you, ie not during induction if you have the 24hr pessary etc, but once things are moving then they can. So 3/4cm or waters being broken/ actually being in the delivery room as opposed to the ward.

I am 31 weeks now and have a 4lb 5oz baby girl growing!

I'm wondering what you are planning to wear to give birth in?

Yep the Birth Partner thing is really really getting to me now, the prospect of giving birth is nearly here.

I don't see why if he tests free of COVID ( assuming they still swab you on entry to the hospital) he can't stay, when there are idiots on Bournmouth Beach, crowds flocking to Brum to see some Youtuber etc.

Worried on 2 accounts. Firstly not having him there to advocate for me if I am in too much pain, or staff not taking my concerns seriously during early labour, and secondly, if i am kept in, he could miss first2-3 days of the babys life.

But its okay, over in A&E no doubt there'll be loads of possible covid infected people with drunken related injuries due to going mad at the pub after weeks of absitance.

Hey Ladies hope you are all doing well!! Expecting my first baby girl early Aug! 💖

Feeling so excited but like a lot of you, the current birth partner rules are making me anxious. Think I’ve been in denial until now in just thinking (hoping) that the rules will have changed by my due date, the possibility of that is becoming less likely by the day!

Double checked the current rules for my area and it’s the same for me too...no partner until established labour and then they can remain for 3 hours to bond, but have to go home after that. 😞

But also remember, they're unlikely to keep you in anyway if you're not in established labour. I was 3cm and got sent home again. Try not to worry everyone ❤️

It's really infuriating the way they are treating partners. I'm so glad they've lifted that silly rule here in NI (well from the 6th), it really has helped my anxiety immensely, even if I have to stay at least he'll be able to come back and visit during visiting hours instead of not at all. Hopefully the rest of the UK follows suit ASAP for you ladies. What was panicking me most was ending up needing to be induced, OH can't exactly sit in the car for up to 4 days and we don't live in Belfast, so it would be about a half hour ish drive for him to get there to drop me off, half hour-ish back and then what chill in the house until I can phone him to tell him to drive back again because labour has actually started and he's allowed in but by the time he gets there baby is already born so he's not actually allowed in? Stupid. Infection control is a bullshit excuse, because if a partner is coming in for labour & delivery anyway if there's a virus there to be spread they'll still do it then anyway 🙄 government need to sort out their priorities, bloody pubs over hospitals is an absolute joke and they'll find themselves with bigger problems with streets and A&Es overrun with drunken eejits and new mothers with serious MH issues and god knows what else.

Hahaha @squashie34 I think we all would 😂

@2020Aug have you spoke to the in laws about visiting yet?

@mamafirst as I'm planning a water birth I'm thinking I'll either wear a Nightie or one of OH's old tshirts if I can find one thats actually baggy on me now 😂 but then part of me is thinking maybe a bikini top, but I don't want the rest of me feeling super exposed though that'll prob be the last thing on my mind when labour hits.

All this ranting is exactly what’s going on in my head. I’m so angry that pubs are opening and my Partner can’t be at the birth, his missed out on so much and it’s our first baby! Honestly if I saw Boris it wouldn’t end well!! 😡

Agreed. I've just wrote to our local MP

It's so distressing!

Obviously in same boat as most of you he can only be there for the delivery and it sucks

@beau2020 very well put. Hopefully they take heed and actually fix it. Is there a way to write directly to the health minister?

Over here not only are they changing the maternity appointments/labour etc. But, also visiting older people in care homes and visiting people in hospitals. Will keep my fingers crossed Boris realises this makes more sense sooner than later.

I have to admit i was being a bit naive before because i just assumed everything will be fine and my partner would just be allowed in but after reading many of your posts and looking in to it properly (don't know why i didn't do this before) i've become a little scared myself. I don't want to be by myself for any of it, it's an experience for the pair of us to share 😭 it's not fair.

Our baby is my 3rd but our 1st my patner was lucky enough to get to our 12 week scan just before lock down, we live 1hr away from our nearest hospital my last baby made her apperance 7 mins into established labour so he wont ever make it if this one is as quick. I had a chat with my uncle about concerns of being on my own and he said most new cases are coming from being passed about in hospitals ( my uncle works in a hospital by the way hes a mental health nurse) hes tried to reassure me but has put my mind in a even worse place now i dont want to be in a hospital full stop and i most definitly dont want my newborn in one 😭

@Beau2020 I think we actually have the same MP so I will write to too and maybe they might actually listen!

Morning ladies, lots to catch up on!

Regarding birthing clothes, I was initially planning on getting some loose comfy cheap bits from Primark but my local Primark is in the city centre (whereas I live on the edge of the city) and I don’t fancy chancing it! I’ve been lucky as the people near me in the retail parks I’ve been going to are quite sensible and not getting too close etc but I’m sure it’s not the same in town. I ended up ordering some button front nighties from the boohoo sale in a larger size which I’m impressed with. Also got some massive granny knickers from Asda for the hospital bag which are brilliant - I tested one out lol they are soo comfy and very high waisted which will be handy at holding it all in especially if needing a C-section. Highly recommend those!

I’m in the south west - same rules here of birthing partners only allowed in at 4cm dilated and then need to leave soon after the birth. I have my 34 week appointment tomorrow so will discuss it with the midwife but it’s just a bit sad isn’t it Last time I asked was quite a while back and they were optimistic things would change by August but doesn’t seem much has! I am hoping for minimal pain relief (ask me again in labour lol) so maybe will try to just stay home during labour as much as I can until I can’t cope anymore so my husband is at least with me at the beginning. He’s been doing the positive birth company pack with me so hopefully won’t panic and will remember to calm me down.

Mamas and Papas have lost my carrycot! The rest of the travel system arrived but the carrycot apparently got delivered according to the delivery company but it definitely didn’t. They need 2 weeks to look into it and the colour we went for has now been discontinued so they probably wont be able to just send a replacement Only got 6 weeks left no time to faff around!

I totally understand all your concerns because for my first birth which was an induction as my baby was overdue, I never got to active labour. For me the induction didn't work, I stayed 3/4 cm the whole time over two days. That's why I ended up having the C-section. I have worried that could happen to someone then when would their OH be able to join them under these circumstances? Totally agree though that as people can go to a pub it's crazy you can't have OH with you the whole time. I definitely didn't see pubs being reopened but not OH allowed.

I still wasn't allowed to record last week at the end of my scan either, even though guidelines have changed to say it should be. Wish there was consistency.

@Havlerr how frustrating!!!

Hi everyone, just catching up from the last few days. Thank you for your recommendations on monitors and Moses basket - we are going to sit down this weekend and do some serious shopping!
I read that the Next sale starts on Thursday so hopefully we will be able to pick up some nice bits from that too!

I share all of your frustrations about the birth and actually pregnancy as a whole. This is certainly not how I expected my first pregnancy to be. I’m trying to be positive - I don’t understand why the government has made the decisions they have but I’m going to just try and roll with it best I can.

I am trying to focus on the positives of this year rather than worry about what might or might not happen on my birthing day as a result of what’s happened .
One of the single most things that I am grateful for is that I have spent 6 months at home with my partner, who usually does 12 hour days out of the house. I have felt safe at home and we have bonded so much over this experience that I just don’t think we would have been able to do had this horrid virus not happened.
As another PP said, we have carried our babies and kept them safe through a worldwide pandemic - we are amazing and strong and we got this!!! Xx

The other thing stressing me about partners being allowed is the '4cm' thing. I'm going to decline VEs if they're just for the sake of checking how dilated I am, and I'm worried that it's going to be a point of contention with the midwives in regards to when husband is allowed to join me. My next midwife apointment is on Tuesday, so I'll be discussing it with her then, and hopefully she can reassure me! I know there are other ways they can tell it's 'established labour' than just dilation so hopefully they will be reasonable about that. But for now it's just another stress. sigh