Late October Thread - 4

[DressingGown87]

Thread 4 ladies!

Girls: @DressingGown87 @Jaffas22 @DogCatDex @EmmaA96 (twins) @Parks11 @LadyB90 @Strawberries4days @LST87

Boys: @sunbreak @FirstSurprise001 @WaveStreet @roarfeckingroar
@Mc3209 @KitKatKit @1990shopefulftm @Lolllyf @HelenMarie1001 @Freddie1987 @BS9790

Suprise / Waiting: @60sPony @Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt @UpsyDaisy1234 (twins) @Glooorb @AdventureAhead @Elizag20 @justtb @Clalou83 @Sls668 @SJR86 @Flora20 @SamK93

If I have missed you! Sorry!

@SamK93 the midwife unit in my hospital is actually in the same building that the labour ward is in, so it's a very quick transfer is anything was to go wrong which is comforting and it sounds like it's a much calmer environment.

It's brilliant that you were able to get discharged after 6 hours, hopefully it'll be the same case this time.

@1990shopefulftm that's the same with me, it's in the same building so you will always have that peace of mind anyway. It's a lot better than the delivery rooms, at my hospital they're very small rooms all close together and very busy, where as the birthing unit it is amazing. Where about are you from if you don't mind me asking?

@1990shopefulftm there was a poster up last week which said. One partner allowed during labour and active labour. There was lots of partners on the ward, (I was at the maternity unit due to checks) some of the ladies where being induced or early stages of labour. They said I would be allowed my friend with me, from when I got admitted. So hopefully the restrictions are more relaxed now.

@roarfeckingroar totally with you. I packed my hospital bag at the weekend, as I’m scared it’s just going to happen and I’m not ready. Started on my birthing plan too. 3 people I know gave birth last week 24weeks, 32 and 33, so completely drove myself up the wall with overthinking. Hope your ok, try and think positive, and do little things which might uplift your spirits, make you feel more prepared. @KitKatKit everyone is allowed to not have “their shit together” every now and again, hope your ok.

@Flora20 that’s sounds a nice day, and a welcome change to The new normal. Hopefully the next few weeks until end of term go quickly.

@mc3209 I wouldn’t say it’s “flooded” but if I’m quite active, I’ve notice it increasing. I’ve been warned to be prepared for the masses, off my friend.

@DressingGown87 that would be such a relief if it stays that way. I don't feel that scared of labour itself, it's more the lack of someone I know for support during it that's my worry.

Hi just checking in again hope everyone is doing well. I am starting to feel like I'm not very prepared for the birth atall! I'm going to do the positive birth company programme, just wondering what everyone else is doing? And any ideas on the antenatal classes we're going to be missing out on.. Is there anything you have found online? Also just wondering where everyone was from in this group? I'm in the south of England in the New Forest x

@SammySN Hi! I started the Positive Birth Company book last night. Starting to get to grips with the different types of breathing etc and going to watch some of their YouTube hypno-birthing videos shortly.
In terms of antenatal classes, I think they’re getting started back up fairly shortly but am I right in thinking you don’t really start them until 32weeks? That’s what I’ve read anyway..

I’m based in East Midlands, Lincolnshire 🥰

Hi @SammySN I'm sure there's quite a few online classes at the moment, might be good to look in to. I'm from the West Midlands x

Thanks for replying guys. Feeling a little better today. Just told my full team at work and they were really positive. Still pretty flat.

@Mc3209 I'm most scared of losing who I am, of feeling like I've made a huge mistake, of resenting my partner and the baby and that breast feeding will he really painful. Loss of identity is the big one. So many of my friends are still v much into parties and I was until pregnancy so it's a huge shift.

@KitKatKit I'm sorry you're feeling crappy too. It's an overwhelming fear and yeah - train wreck territory here! DP is concerned, which I don't want, and trying to suggest I speak to people but I don't want to. I'm just scared my life is over to an extent. Then I feel guilty because I'm so lucky.
How are you today?

@Flora20 I went for dinner with a friend last night and that really helped snap me out of it for a few hours. I know ups and downs are normal, I think I'm just feeling it so heavily because I've been so up for the past two months. I need to get back on the positive hypnobirthing.

@DressingGown87 well done for packing your bag! How did that feel? I'm considering doing similar. I might buy a nice maternity nightie / PJs for hospital to cheer myself up a bit.

@SammySN @FirstSurprise001 I've listened to the positive birth audiobook and I'm going to crack on with the book this weekend. The template birth plan is really useful.

Had my 1st proper hormonal cry as I rang 111 today. DH has had breathing difficulties on and off for a month and the walk in centre have point blank refused to even listen to his lungs or see him in person and have just given him antibiotics, being asthmatic it's hard for me to see DH suffer and know that I of course shouldn't let him use my inhaler but since their refusing to see him in person it feels like it's better that than have to ring an ambulance for him before they ll help, I ve had so many chest infections before I know that even if it is a bacterial infection they won't help him that quickly :(

@SamK93 I m from Preston :)

@roarfeckingroar I'm sorry you've been feeling so flat. I know exactly how you feel in terms of loss of identity, my group of friends have all had children a bit later and we were definitely partying right up until conception 😂It's one of those weird, bittersweet moments in your life where you realise things will never be the same again and you're going to have to say goodbye to your 'old self' - but one thing I think is important to remember is that your ideal of motherhood is defined by you, not by what any social media account, friend or family member expects of you. So, if you want to be the mum that's taking her kids to Glasto then go for it! Or whatever else will make you happy.

It's good to hear you've had a nice time hanging with friends for a bit, good to give yourself a bit of a break! 💛

Thanks @DressingGown87 and @roarfeckingroar. Yep I have exactly the same worries as you, I have continued my counselling sessions throughout lockdown over the phone and they do help but some days are harder than others.

Generally feeling better today after having a meltdown at DH last night! Told him how I was really feeling, and he was very supportive bless him.
Glad that your meal out helped you feel a bit better. I think that's what's messing with us, this weird no mans land, semi lockdown that we're now in after months of proper lockdown.

Sending everyone motivation to get through this rainy miserable Thursday afternoon!

I'm on the Berkshire/Surrey border x

I had the follow up to my 20 week scan this morning and all looked good so my notes officially say it’s been completed. Have been trying not to worry but I’m very relieved that they’ve completed all the checks and everything is ok. 24 weeks today so we’ve completed 2 milestones in one day.

It sounds like some of you are very well prepared for the next stage already. I’ve bought the positive birth company book and checked out their online courses but was planning to wait until the 3rd trimester to launch into it. Maybe I’ll dip in during the next few weeks?

We’ve decided not to do NCT. We had been holding a place but we’re not going to book it. We’re planning to move area after the baby is born and with the Chancellor’s announcement on stamp duty yesterday it gives us a (£15k) kick up the bum to move before March next year. We’d mostly be doing NCT for the social side and I can’t see myself travelling to the other side of London for people I’ve only known 3/4 months.

I spoke to our local Community Nursery Nurse today (through work but had a natter about baby too as we have a good relationship) and she is anticipating NHS antenatal classes to start back up in our area very soon, probably through Zoom first. She couldn’t say either way if classes in person would start before the end of October but they were reviewing it this week so should know soon.
I’d prefer to do face to face courses but certainly aren’t paying for the likes of NCT so am just hanging on in the hopes the NHS ones will be back in the children’s centres soon

@roarfeckingroar you will always be you, even though it doesn't feel like it at the moment. You are opening a new chapter in your life, and it's natural to feel unsure and sceptical about any big change, it's part of being human. You will figure out a way of how to make it work, and in the process allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling, even if it's sadness, fear, apprehension. It will all work out.

@roarfeckingroar I’m having a similar crisis today - it has been building over a few days. Just as I grow bigger, the reality of me needing to give birth to this baby is hitting hard. How am I going to be able to achieve this? I like to be able to plan - and how am I going to plan and timebox my labour? (Try to project manage this one is futile)

I do feel like I need more support from the midwife... I have scoliosis (my spine curved and twisted) and had steel rods in my back. How is this going to affect my ability to push this little one out? No one seems to be able to tell me - or tells me it is fine but not actually examining me, and it freaks me out to no end.

Sorry for the rant...

Sending well wishes to those that need it this week, pregnancy can be so up and down and the worry of the unknown doesn't help things does it. @Glooorb i hope you manage to get some reassurance.

24 weeks today eeek! Need to start thinking about doing some reading/watching some videos, I've found time has flown by since 20 weeks.

I don't think we'll end up doing nct as it looks like they will probably still be online and there seems to be lots of other good online resources instead. It's a shame to miss the opportunity to meet other mums though as hardly any of my friends have children, I live in Essex.

Forgot to add, I am in the north of Scotland.
@roarfeckingroar are you still keeping your master spreadsheet? 😆

I'm booked onto this course tomorrow mybabyacademy.co.uk/free-online-workshop/ which feels like a start and then I've got my midwife appointment on Monday so hoping to find out about local antenatal classes then!

I've just been looking at wipes and its so depressing how much cheaper the non-biodegradable ones are! I did some working out (using Amazon unfortunately) and this is the top price, i.e. if you do it as a subscription you can probably get 5-10% off

I'm going to attempt to do the same thing with nappies, plan is to use disposables to begin with (just to reduce the stress for a FTM) but move onto reusables at least part time, working out how many we'll need is

@GhostWorld ahh this is really useful, thanks! I'm same as you, have been buying a pack of the most eco friendly nappies I can find every now and again so that the initial outlay is spread over a few months. Then wipes wise, Boots do some reasonably priced biodegradable ones...I also picked up Dove ones which are a bit more expensive. I plan on incorporating a reusable nappy into the routine once I'm over the first few weeks and seeing how we get on. My friend highly recommends the Cheeky Wipes reusable kit as well. You pay about £50 upfront but get a load of cloths and two boxes, with essential oils to keep the new ones fresh and the other box is for dirty ones that you can put straight in the wash! Then if you're really confident you can get travel pouches for on the go, or save the shop bought wipes for those times.

@Freddie1987 can you believe I didnt even think of looking at Boots/Superdrug etc

Any have anything they find helps with Braxton Hicks? Baby's been moving quite a bit this morning so I m assuming that's what's causing it as I ve been having plenty of fluids but on top of the hip pain it's a bit uncomfortable

@1990shopefulftm I usually change what I am doing, ie sit down/stop if I was active, move around if I am on the sofa etc. For me they usually pass quite quickly.

Oh and today someone asked me when we are planning a second one 😬 At least no one is touching my belly, one perk of social distancing.

@Mc3209 yeah it's mostly when I ve been sat working on the sofa for a while, I ll make sure to get up and move more.