Late October Thread - 4

[DressingGown87]

Thread 4 ladies!

Girls: @DressingGown87 @Jaffas22 @DogCatDex @EmmaA96 (twins) @Parks11 @LadyB90 @Strawberries4days @LST87

Boys: @sunbreak @FirstSurprise001 @WaveStreet @roarfeckingroar
@Mc3209 @KitKatKit @1990shopefulftm @Lolllyf @HelenMarie1001 @Freddie1987 @BS9790

Suprise / Waiting: @60sPony @Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt @UpsyDaisy1234 (twins) @Glooorb @AdventureAhead @Elizag20 @justtb @Clalou83 @Sls668 @SJR86 @Flora20 @SamK93

If I have missed you! Sorry!

@roarfeckingroar Yep, boiling all the time too! And I'm the same as you, need to be under pressure to do my best work 😀 Good luck today!

@FirstSurprise001 Sorry you're having a rough time 😔 What you're feeling is totally understandable. I think this pandemic is beginning to impact us all now three months in and what you've just described sounds crap even without a pandemic (!) so please don't feel alone in this, we are all here with you!
On a practical note, have you tried sitting on a birthing/ exercise ball? I've been super uncomfortable sitting anywhere else for a few weeks now, I wonder if it's worth asking your physio if sitting on one would ease the pressure for you? Hang in there!

@ FirstSurprise001 That sounds hard work - dogs can definitely be worse than babies! Has she always woken up at night? Could be worth trying a plug in to calm her down - I've used pet remedy and adaptil ones for ours. Also a dog walker a couple of times a week night give her a bit of variety and you a bit of a rest! Sympathy with feeling on your own - my husband is working constantly except when I'm taking live lessons, which is the only time he takes our daughter at the moment - trying to teach while looking after a toddler full time is impossible!

@Glooorb thank you. Hopefully one day I will meet someone who will play a brilliant role model for her. Don’t have that great of a track record though 🙈 that sounds good savings and splurge! We all have days like that, I will start looking again when I have the house in a bit more order.

@SJR86 I think I also read that drinking lots of water can help the fluid. Hope your ok, good luck this week, hope today brings some answers.

@roarfeckingroar I find it so much easier working to a deadline, as much as the NA sparkling wine is tempting, I’m afraid I can’t help 😂

@Mc3209 I haven’t dared weigh myself yet! Need to get back out walking.

@FirstSurprise001 that sounds stressful, and I bet your knackered, not surprised you want to stay in bed. As PP said could you get a dog walker to help out? Speak to you boss about your back. Try take a hour out each afternoon for you to rest, even nap. I know when I get tired, everything just seems a lot worse.

For those feeling anxious I had a terrible weekend and tried something new last night that helped.. Towards the end of last week I was feeling loads of kicks and movement and then Saturday and Sunday I didn't feel anything at all. That coupled with a bit of bleeding (which to be fair has happened throughout the pregnancy and they think its polyps, but still scary) meant I had a panic attack in the middle of the night on Saturday. So I was really anxious going to bed last night and I decided to write everything I was worrying about down and why they're not actually problems, or not worth worrying about. This meant that when I did wake up in the night last night all the things weren't rushing around my head too fast without giving me a chance to respond haha. I didn't have a panic attack! And then this morning before we got up DP had his hand on my stomach and baby kicked twice, two big undeniable kicks!
I'm sorry for anyone who finds fathers day difficult

I am sorry to hear so many of you had a challenging weekend. It's rubbish going through the rollercoaster of pregnancy hormones on top of coronavirus craziness.

@GhostWorld that's a good tip to deal with racing thoughts. Sounds like it worked well for you!
Hugs to all 😘😘😘

@1990shopefulftm @Flora20 @DressingGown87 I’d love to get a dog walker but as you can imagine it’s saving as many £££‘s as possible at the moment. My family all live at least an hour away so I guess I’m just feeling a bit lonely!
@KitKatKit The physio hasn’t really said they can do a great deal apart from exercises. I’m currently sit on my pregnancy pillow at the dining table and trying to get up as much as possible to stay active. I think investing in a ball may help and even if it doesn’t right now, I’m sure it’ll come in handy later on in the pregnancy.

I think you’re all right in that being over tired and the pandemic has just got to me today. Had a bit of a cry to DP this morning and just said sometimes I wish he’d work less and look after me but equally know he’s just as knackered when he walks through the door at 8pm every night.

Hopefully a nap this afternoon will help and tomorrow will seem a bit better!

Thank you for always listening ❤️❤️

Hi ladies just to update you all, fetal med gave me a call this morning and they've booked me in for a scan on Thursday. Trying my best to keep positive until then.

@SamK93 I hope these next few days go quickly for you

Rang my GP to book in my 25 week appointment, they can't go that far ahead in their diary yet but it's reassuring to know at the moment I should get that appointment as the community midwifes are planning to do the rest of the appointments as normal in the 3rd trimester.

@FirstSurprise001 I live hours away from any family, it's rubbish sometimes 🙄 Just worth checking local dog walkers for the occasional break, we used one that was £7 for an hour's walk so not too extravagant if it's an occasional bit of peace!

@1990shopefulftm That's weird, mine was booked in at my 16 week phone appointment! It will be nice to have a face to face appointment though!

@Flora20 I didn't have a 16 week appointment at all, my booking one was over the phone and then sat and wait to see a midwife after both scans for a blood pressure check so not had a full on face to face midwife appointment yet.

@1990shopefulftm Yeah, I've only had phone appointments too - the 16 week one lasted 6 minutes and most of that was her telling me about the one she's booked in for the end of July! Hopefully you can get one booked in soon x

we've ordered the travel system, quite confident it should work with our car but it ll be good to have it arrive to know for sure.

@1990shopefulftm that's exciting, which one did you end up going for?
I am leaving DH in charge of choosing travel system. He is in charge of that and a nose sucker (random, I know) but I want the one that connects to the hoover and it looks like it will be a challenge to find 😬

@Mc3209 we've gone for this
www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/baby/pushchairs-and-strollers/travel-systems/origin-by-babylo-2-in-1-travel-system-and-car-seat-charcoal/p/184092?gclid=CjwKCAjwwYP2BRBGEiwAkoBpAvTHG5zdTdBWtWduimjWliiePlf9CLCZFnZmoxPWHtoGblQAZxngMxoCaY4QAvD_BwE

Spent hours searching but kept coming back to this one, the seat changes into a lie flat cot section , a separate carry cot would be too big for the boot so it was the best compromise. I ve never seen a nasal aspirator that works with a hoover before.

@GhostWorld it’s anxious time when they stop or slow down, isn’t it. I’ve been there a few times over the last week. Sorry to hear you had a panic attack. Lists and writing things down, always helps me, so hope it does with you. Glad you got them kicks this morning, hope your baby has been better behaved today.

@SamK93 glad they have called you, although you will still feel in limbo. Hope Thursday brings positive news and comes around quick. Here if you need a rant!

@1990shopefulftm glad community midwifes are starting again, and you can have a face to face appointment! Exciting about the travel system.

@FirstSurprise001 hope your feeling better. On a different note going on a short walk, always helps me relax, so maybe taking the dog out may help you in other ways. Lockdown is starting to take its toll, life isn’t what it use to be. Hope you get to see your family soon.

@mc3209 what is a nose sucker that connects to a hoover? I’m intrigued.

@DressingGown87 It's a nasal aspirator and it supposed to work very well when compared to normal ones. I was a bit sceptical at first as it paints images of industrial suction power but our friends have it and swear by it (they live abroad though, so I don't know how easy it is to find one in UK).

@1990shopefulftm travel system looks good!

Just done a quick Amazon search and it came up! www.amazon.co.uk/Aspirator-BABY-VAC-Special-Cleaning-Included/dp/B004JA1XB2?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Something like this basically.

@SamK93 glad they got in touch with you. It may not feel like it now but it will be here before you know it. Did they say if you can take someone with you? It's the only appointment my husband has been allowed to come into so far which has been nice in a strange way.

Is anyone else really worried about the impact having a child is going to have on their career? I have a thread on AIBU about feeling unsupported by my boss and dear lord the responses - essentially my career is buggered, as a new mother I won't be valued, I'll be remembered for going off on mat leave...

@roarfeckingroar its not a worry I have but mainly because I already know there's a good possibility it's not worth me returning from a financially point of view unless I can go part time. Would getting on waiting lists for good childcare options now be something to consider depending on what your area is like?

@roarfeckingroar Yeah, I am a bit uneasy at how it's all going to work out. I don't think my mat leave will be an issue per se, I am more worried about the logistics when I come back. My job usually involves out of hours and weekend work on top of daytime, and DH works in similar field to mine. A lot of women come back part time, but for me it's not an option as it will be a career suicide for what I want to achieve. I've resigned myself to the fact that we will be paying a fortune in childcare fees (no relatives in this country on either side) and it will be logistical minefield with managing our hours, but fingers crossed it will work.
And I will somehow deal with the guilt of not spending all the time with my much wanted baby.

@Mc3209 the joys of motherhood - expectations, guilt, being held to an unobtainable high standard especially compared to fathers. DP saw I've sent him a rather frenetic message and rang me for 45 min just now, reassured me he will make sure my career doesn't wither, we're a team and I'm not alone in anything. He's a keeper. We might bugger off to the Middle East for a couple of years if I'm treated differently when I return to work, his skills are in high demand, we have friends out there, I could work PT for a couple of years and we would save up a massive chunk for a great home... all dreams, but I feel better. And obviously cried telling him this.

@Mc3209 do you have support around you so you can balance the two?