November 2020 babies - thread 7!

[wannabebump]

Another thread for us all x

Oh ye. Been there. The information overload is ridiculous. Monitors are monitors. Just go by whatever budget you have. Once it shows the baby that's all you need. I used blankets while my DD didnt move but you can use a sleeping bag from birth .... I think. All you can do is take it one thing at a time. We have a long way til november and most babies just need a safe place to sleep and a form of nourishment. That's it. I got soooooo stressed over every decision, my NCT friends were even worse, but she was always ok.

Glad I'm not just being ott lol

@becca65 ah I see, that's really good though that they are taking it so seriously and protecting you.
Yeah it's difficult because I actually coach the classes so I have to be in direct contact with the members that will be in the class. Not sure what's going to happen at the moment.

No you are definitely not being OTT @Sweetpea1985. I had lots of experience being around children younger than me and I felt confident when I got pregnant. After two nights of googling things at about this point I freaked out. I used to just cry over how little I knew, and that went on into the newborn days too. I remember coming home from my first bounce and rhyme session and I rang my husband in hysterics because I was a 'bad mom' because I didnt know any of the nursery rhymes hahaha. Its always like this to be honest, but as they get older and sturdier you get better at saying 'ah they are fine'. All you can do is a bit of research on things and try to keep to the basic common sense safety stuff, and and try to ignore the mums you meet who know EVERYTHING and have read every site and book and been to the 'talks' on whatever thing you are (rightly) clueless about.

Yes @Sweetpea1985 bumpers are a big no no. The cot should be clear when they’re tiny as well - no soft toys etc. We also just used blankets when DS was small. I think there are gro bags you can use from birth - they have minimum weight requirements but it’s also important to check that the neck is small enough that they couldn’t wiggle down and get stuck in it. Also overheating is more dangerous for the baby than being too cold. I still use the gro website to this day to check what DS should wear to bed - you put in the room temp and their age and weight and it tells you how many layers they should have.

gro.co.uk/what-to-wear/

Thank you @HarrietM87 that could be quite handy

Its handy to have a temperature egg in the room so you know the temp. I got mine second hand for about 10 quid. There are loads knocking around. I think ideal temperature in the room is about 17 degrees. However, my daughter used to wake if she wasnt quite warm, and that was another thing I panicked about. She was happiest in a room that was 18.5 degrees, she was in a baby grow, and she was wrapped like a burrito in a blanket. Some babies like to be cosy and warm and some dont. I went by touching her chest mostly. If she was sweaty, I took a layer off. Again, its all guidelines, not rules. You learn as you go along.

I just wanted to give a bit of reassurance to any FTMs who are heading towards their 20 week scan but haven't felt any movement yet: I hadn't felt any obvious movements until Wednesday - and even then I couldn't be 100% sure it wasn't just my tummy being a bit odd/windy!- but I had my scan today and little Spud was so active, jigging around all over the place! I found it utterly amazing that that much movement could be going on inside me and yet I can't feel it!

Thank you @MeandSpud. I have my 20 week scan in the morning (eeek! excited). I've been quite nervous about the lack of movement and funnily tonight I've felt light flutters and a strange rolling sensation.

Restless legs, burning feet, a weak bladder and the onset of heartburn are all the lovely night-time delights I'm experiencing currently. But I would choose them any day over morning sickness/nausea which thankfully finished a couple of weeks ago.

@MeandSpud that is reassuring about the 20 week scan! FTM here and no movements yet, I'm 20 weeks this week. Hopefully just a chilled out baby! X

Thank you @meanspud, mine is this afternoon and I'm feeling really anxious about it, I keep thinking I feel something but as a FTM I really have no idea what it should feel like

Another FTM, at 20 weeks yesterday and no real movements felt either. Glad I'm not the only one! Convincing myself I've felt very split second flutters, only occassionally, but also worrying I'm just telling myself that and it's actually just my digestive system! My scan is still 10 days away

Another lurker here, just had my 20 week scan, all looking good for my second baby boy, due 7th November. Good luck for all upcoming scans, I was so anxious waiting but then it was here and done before I knew it!

Anyone else having an absurd amount of discharge? The last couple of days I've felt like a glue factory down there!

@Addler - oh my word. I was about to post the exact same thing. My discharge has been crazy the past few days. So bad that I have now have to put a pantyliner on. Only thing is - because the pantyliner is pure white colour, it’s showing my discharge with a slight off-white, pale yellow colour (sorry for the TMI!) which has made me google like mad. No pain or odour though. Didn’t notice it like that before, but that’s probably because I’ve been wearing mostly black underwear.

Good luck to all the scans this week!! Mine is next Monday 😄 and yes also I have had loads of discharge, feeling gross 😂😂

Has anyone discussed SMP with their employer?
Mine just told me that because they were making me redundant 14 weeks prior to my due date, because my job will no longer be available, that they will not be paying the tax on my SMP. Also they originally said I could have the mat leave in a lump sum (which works for me as I need the money and they won't be my employer anymore, so I don't want them holding onto it and risking delayed payments), but now they've said it might have to be monthly. I work in a private household so no HR system but I am on a contract. Is there someone I could speak to? Citizens advice perhaps? Not sure who deals with SMP/redundancy related queries. Any thoughts do let me know, I'm stressing out at the uncertainty and lack of solid info, thanks. Can provide more info if people need it to help advise. 😬😬

@Addler same here! I’ve been changing underwear throughout the day 🤦‍♀️

I still haven’t told my employer I’m pregnant...I’m now 20+3. Have told myself I’ll do it this week but I’m scared!

I am the same with discharge @Addler. It's worse if it do any decent walking.

My employer has known from 6 weeks that I am pregnant. I am just getting monthly maternity supplemented by them based on my earnings. It does mean I contractually have to go back to work for them once the maternity leave is over but that's ok with me.

Yep @Squidgebum I have to pay my mat pay back unless I go back to work for 9 months after my leave ends. I have until 25 weeks to tell them though. I delayed until they told me my bonus and I had my scan. Scan was on Friday so really need to bite the bullet!

I’ve been lurking on this thread for a while!
I am the same with the increased discharged . My 20 week scan is in the 3rd.

I haven’t felt ‘movement’ yet but last few days Immediately to the left of my belly button I feel like I’m being tickled/scratched. It lasts a few minutes. Could this be baby?

Congrats on everyone who has had great 20 week scans btw x

Oh wow 9 months is a lot @HarrietM87. I think I only have to go back for 12 weeks part time but then my maternith pay goes down quite rapidly. I think I only have 4 weeks full pay and then it drops steadily (teaching). Because I am part time already I will be on the basic rate in about 2.5 months. When I hear what my friends in ireland get (6 months full pay) it shows how rubbish maternity pay is here.

Yes I would describe my early movement as being tickled from the inside! Then yesterday morning lying flat in bed I definitely felt kicking! My husband felt it too! 😍 Definitely wasn't just my tummy rumbling!
20 weeks on Wednesday and had been feeling the tickling for a couple of weeks before.
20 week scan this week....so excited to see baby again!

Glad it's not just me then, I've sent DP out for some liners as I feel like I've wet myself constantly.

Reassuring to know that lots of FTM haven't felt (or aren't sure if they've felt) movement yet. I'm 19+4 and have my scan at the end of this week and I haven't felt anything that I can definitely say was baby. My digestive system can be horrendous though and gurgles all the time so I might be missing it! Feel like I don't have a clue. To be honest I feel pretty clueless in general. Started to research car seats, prams and pushchairs and it's so overwhelming!

@MrsR87 I agree everything is overwhelming, I got myself into a bit of a state yesterday because I just felt so clueless. Ended up having to go for a walk to calm down, which helped.
I'm just going to go with my gut from now on, I'll get what I want and do what I want as long as baby is safe that's all that matters.
I am struggling to find a monitor though because I dont want all these bells and whistles of video and phone connectivity etc.