November 2020 babies - thread 7!

[wannabebump]

Another thread for us all x

MrsR87

Off the stuff I've wrote so far, there are 5 pages of just her singling me out. My manager before her wasn't good either, but she wasn't good to everyone so it was a "collective struggle" and didn't feel personal ever

I wouldn't mind the negative feedback if it came with advise on what I can do to get better.

There is some of my work that she's authorised but because she's not said anything I don't know if she actually thought I was "getting to the standard" or not

@Clove20 Your manager sounds awful! Can you speak to ACAS or citizens advice for some advice on how she's treating you? I know you said you don't like conflict but she shouldn't be allowed to treat you like this. The last thing you need right now is added stress.

@SnowFan you can book online or in store appointments with Mamas and Papas to view their prams. I'm not sure of anywhere else though.

I really struggled to BF with my son. I just found it so painful. I went to the hospital so many times to get help with feeding and tried hand expressing but it was just so sore. I switched to formula as I was dreading feeding so much. I hear so many people say the first few weeks are the hardest but I just couldn't take that long. I'm hoping this time will be more successful but I'm going to try and not put so much pressure on myself and what will be will be.

For those looking to go to shops to look at prams I would recommend looking at some smaller chain baby shops and independent shops. I bought mine at my local babyland. They were SO helpful and knowledgeable.

@Clove20
Totally agree. I would never give negative feedback without suggesting steps/training that would help. How are people supposed to improve if they don’t have any provision for how to do so! Ridiculous. I really hope someone from higher in the chain can help you! X

Hi All!

Back from my 20 week scan today and found out we have a very wiggly girl 💓.

@Clove20 I'd definitely take this further (even if it's uncomfortable) as this is unacceptable. ACAS really helped me when work were being shits.

For those on FF/BF - I echo others here, it's your choice what you do with your body. If you choose to BF, make sure you have access to resources. If you choose not to, that's cool, please don't be ashamed. A fed baby with a mama with one less stress in her life will be much happier than a hungry babe with a stressed out mum xx

@Clove20 I know exactly how you feel. I'm literally in the same position and I'm already counting down the days until I can be off for a year on maternity. My boss is just awful and so power mad it's untrue! So annoying because I thought this was my dream job and it's literally sucking the life out of me.

@littlegem84 congratulations!! Just had my 20 week scan and we also found out we’re having a girl. ☺️

This is my first pregnancy and so still feel there’s a lot I don’t know. Was I supposed to get my Matb1 today at my 20 week scan?

Also, AIBU that I feel like I’m missing out on stuff because of Covid,(no-ones fault of course) My partner and I have decided we’re just having one and I feel that I’m not getting the true pregnancy experience. I want to swim and go to face to face NCT classes and meet up with other mums to be. I haven’t seen my community midwife at all and have had so many phone appointments rather than going into clinics. Have other people felt this way?

@littlegem84

Congratulations 🥳 so many baby girls on here!
I will call ACAS tomorrow. I have realised it's much easier for me to type the issues than talk about it Cos I just start crying midway through explaining it all.

@Bluebell2020

I hope you're able to resolve some of it. So hard to navigate through pregnancy and a pandemic!

This is also my dream job. Such a contrast to last year when I was being asked if my work could be used as "an example of excellent work"

@Jhampson01 you are definitely not alone! I love swimming so was looking forward to stuff like the pre-natal aqua classes, along with stuff like pre-natal yoga and pilates, pregnancy massages, etc. We only moved to Edinburgh pretty recently so I don't feel like we know many people, and I was really hoping to meet some mum friends at classes, along with learning about giving birth and how to (hopefully) keep baby happy once they arrive!

I'm just keeping fingers crossed that by November things will be a bit more relaxed, so maybe we can have a few "normal" pregnancy experiences...

@SnowFan there's a pram place in Leith that gets good reviews, there's also independents in Dunfermline, Stirling and Falkirk - all open, but an appointment system to go. X

@wannabebump Oh wow yes the Leith place looks fab! Prams, car seats, rockers, furniture - all the things I want to get but have no idea what I'm looking for so would need to see first. Thank you!

@SnowFan We've done lots of online research and have a rough idea of what we'd like but I do want to see things before buying... we're going to make some appointments after our 20 week scan x

We just went for the travel system we liked the look of most 😂 it is beautiful though! I guess I’m a pretty confident online shopper, I didn’t feel the need to play with some in person. DH only spec was he didn’t want a 3 wheeler. But it was well reviewed, and I had it on good authority from a friend that it was light.
Look how gorgeous! www.trendybaby.co.uk/cosatto-wow-port-travel-system-fox-tale

@Addler both La Leche League and Kelly Mom are great resources for breastfeeding advice. I found this article which is interesting < kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supply-worries/insufficient-glandular-tissue/>
I think it’s important whatever happens that you’re prepared. I’m a big supporter of breastfeeding but it’s not everything or for everyone. Maybe seek support before baby’s here so you can access help easily if you need it but most importantly don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t work.

@Clove20 pregnancy related absences shouldn't be included towards absence triggers (a return to work meeting though is normal and fine) if you're suffering detriment because of your pregnancy I would raise this with her as it could amount to discrimination - if she continues, raise a formal grievance (I'm a HR Manager). You're doing the right thing keeping a log. The advice the union have given is crap especially if you're paying for membership!

@Pink15 it was heavy and difficult for me personally DH and SIL said I looked awkward and uncomfortable and tbh I felt it. I'm now thinking of the flip xt3 instead which looks v similar, works exactly the same but so much lighter for me. I am quite petite with no upper body strength.

@SqidgeBum that's great advice thank you nice to hear I'm not alone!

@SnowFan mama's and papas and I believe John Lewis. Also we have a few local independent shops where you can view. Personally I wouldn't buy without seeing in person.

Thank you @ACatCalledLola that's a really useful article.

@LozEliza Okay thanks! We rules out the flipxt3 pretty much straight away as my husband and I are completely different heights 🤣 don't think it has an adjustable handle bar :(

@BuffaloCauliflower I'm a pretty confident online shopper too, but FTM so this is a whole new ball game.

@Clove20 sorry you're having a nightmare at work - you're doing the right thing with a log but I think you need to go back to your union or speak to your HR department. X

@BuffaloCauliflower we had this last time round in another jazzy print. He's a year and a half no and it's still going strong 👍

@wannabebump FTM here too, but I’ve spent a fair amount of time with nieces/nephews and other children, so had a sense from reading reviews what made sense. Not too heavy, goes up and down easily, covers that zip off easily to wash, and height of handle depending on how tall you are. I’m 5”2 but they only go so short, if you’re very tall look for one recommended by fellow tall people

Good to hear @littlegem84!

@littlegem84 what are you going for for a double buggy?

The only thing I would be cautious of with buying buggys online is to be careful if you have a car with a narrow boot. I have a few friends who bought buggies, especially silver cross, and they have to take the wheels off to get it in and out of the car. It has to be basically disassembled every time you go to the shop. Some buggies are surprisingly wide so maybe read lots of reviews about how it fits in cars before buying. Also, if anyone has slanted seats in their car, be really careful buying car seats. I was very restricted with what car seats I could buy because of my silly seats.

I got a maxicosi adorra just because it was light, easily fit in the back of the car (we regularly had our dog in the boot) and the car seat was one of 3 that fit. It is a great buggy in fairness, but I originally wanted a cossato. It just wasnt as suitable for the forest walks we go on.

Does anyone else have a fiat 500 (the perfect car for a young couple but when you throw a little bubba into the mix it isn't too practical 😳). I've found a couple of useful sites recommending some buggies, but wondered if anyone of you lovelies on here have one and have started thinking about buggies for small boots?

I'm torn between investing in a beautiful buggy to have for staying close to home or if we rent a car for bigger journeys, and having a smaller practical one kept in the boot. Or just buying one smaller one that just fits in the car. I have this fantasy of a plush big buggy but it won't fit in the 500, hence considering buying a smaller one solely for the car and day trips.

@SqidgeBum yep all very fair points. I’m getting a bigger car (Ford S-Max 7 seater) before baby comes so haven’t had to worry about that. I know it’ll fit even with the two very back seats up, and even easier with them down. Helpfully a friend about to have their 4th child has this car so I’ve essentially learnt from her trial and error!