Due August 2020 Thread 2

[cannotmakemymindup]

Hello ladies new thread here for all of us been chatting on thread 1 due in August with our babies!

Welcome @DaisyDuke84 - I misread your message and thought you said "I just found out, I'm 30 weeks"

@JMill13 yes, I'm constantly waking up on my back! Trying not to overthink it, but perhaps I should start placing some pillows around strategically.

Went for my 32 week scan this morning, it wasn't our usual doctor so we specifically said "We don't know the sex, and don't want to know the sex" - anyway within 60 seconds of starting the scan she goes "Well, you are having a boy"

I was super upset with her for telling us, but trying instead just to focus on the fact that the baby is healthy and that's all that matters really! At least now we can buy some clothes, as was really struggling to find anything unisex!

@gemso2020 that is shocking the doctor/sonographer did that!! I am not surprised that you are upset. I would be to, as we're having surprise as well and I may have to go for extra scans. Am glad your baby is healthy though.

@gemso2020 that is absolutely outrageous, I don’t understand why she would do that after you specifically said you don’t know and didn’t want to know!! Is it worth seeing if you can put in a complaint? I just think that is so out of order and could be really problematic (not for you particularly but possibly in other cases)

Still, at least baby is healthy and you can streamline your shopping list a bit, as you’ve said and might make finding a name a bit easier? Or are you already sorted?

@MaisieMolly and @bert2020 I don't think that sounds quite right. Like the other ladies have said you should be having face to face appts once you're past 28 weeks. They need to measure your bump, test your urine, listen to baby's heartbeat etc so I would call to check. Looking on RCOG just now they say that for FTM you should have 28, 32, 36, 38 and 40 in person.

@gemso2020 that's so shocking! I would DEFO put in a complaint through PALS for that, I would be fuming! But, like the other girls have said, at least you can get your shop on now 😁

Quick question - anyone ever had a 24hr tape fitted? I went in to the day unit last week with heart palpitations on the advice of the midwife. They didn't find anything but are going to fit me with one on Thursday. Is it just a set of stickers that I have to wear for 24 hours? X

@gemso2020 congratulations on your boy but please do complain, it’s not right you were told. My scan last week they specifically hid the important parts even though we know.

@StephD2020 I had one a few years back, not the most comfortable but you soon get used to it. The stickers fell off if I got sweaty so had to keep reattaching but it collected enough information for a full reading.
It’s my second so I don’t have the middle appointment thankfully I have a BP monitor at home for previous PIH so that’s peace of mind for that part at least.

@gemso2020 what! I am appalled at that! Normally I'm the first to say, mistakes happen, everyone is stressed etc but that is not acceptable at all when you'd specifically said you didn't want to know!
Congratulations on your beautiful little boy and well done on trying to see the positives but, no, that's not OK.

@Bert2020 well thank god it's cooled down a bit then cos I'm quite a sweaty person in the hot weather!! I'm not getting it fitted until 2pm so hopefully with an early night and a lay in on Friday I'll barely notice it before I have to take it off. 🤞🏻and I'm with you - I've also got my own BP kit and urine dip sticks so any time I'm worried I can just run my own check for peace of mind! ☺️ x

@Firstmummytobe so pleased to hear everything is OK. Look after yourself.

@MaisieMolly have you had any face to face midwife appointments?
Mine from 28 weeks are all f2f now. I had my 28 week appt (actually at 29 weeks), next is 32 weeks then think it's 36 weeks after that.

I had my 28 week appointment last week and was booked in for my 31 week appointment but was told to expect this to be by telephone.
There are two flowcharts in my ‘orange book’ one for first time mums and the other for 2nd timers+ and depending on what you are that governs what appointments are face to face/telephone.
I was told that even though I am a first timer, due to Covid, they are adopting the 2nd timers to all mums in my area unless they are high risk. I’m in the South West.

@gemso2020 - Like others have said, I would have been so upset if we had specifically told them we didn’t want to know. On the flip side you can at least plan a little better now you know xx

@StephD2020 I was considering the protein sticks, I have keto sticks because of the GD, I’m a walking testing machine at the moment how often do you test? It’s no bother at all with the monitor, it’s pretty light and clipped on my waistband. Definitely good it’s cooled down, we had 26 the other day which actually isn’t too hot but I was melting!

@Bert2020 I was testing twice a week (Sunday's and Wednesday's) for peace of mind but since I've been told I've not got GD and my iron and all other bloods are normal I now only rest if my ankles/hands look swollen or I just don't feel quite right. When I was having heart palpitations last 2 weeks it was great as I tested more frequently then along with taking my BP and because it was all showing as normal I knew I didn't have to rush into the day unit.

It's a tough one isn't it as you can turn mental with all the testing so you have to remember to chill out too! One of good friends has just fallen PG and she is considering a home Doppler - I think I would go mad if I had one of those! 🤣

@maisieMolly that definitely doesn't sound right. I spoke to the community midwife at my 25 week appointment about reading that some people were getting their appointments over the phone and she said that doesn't make sense because you might feel fine in yourself but only they would be able to tell by properly seeing you face-to-face, checking your bloods, blood pressure, baby heartbeat, bump measurement, pee etc. I'd definitely call to check.

I've had 25 week, 28 week and the next is 31 I believe. Though I'm usually about a week ahead (I was 29 weeks gone when I had my 28 week appointment on Friday). Appointments going forward seem to be every 2 weeks or so.

@gemso2020 I've tried the pillows, hasn't helped stop me yet. What, are you serious? I'd be fuming as I'm also going for a surprise. The sonographer at my 20 week appointment actually told me they don't look for sex unless specifically asked by their patient, that's out of order for the doctor. As the other ladies have said see how you go about complaining, but at least now you get even more prepared for life with your little boy.

@StephD2020 totally agree it can (and does) make you crazy testing. I couldn’t deal with a Doppler, in my last pregnancy I had shared GP care as I was giving birth in a different county. The GP couldn’t find the heartbeat, it is one of the single worse times of my life as had to get in a more experienced GP to find it. Also, I wouldn’t trust myself to find it for sure and would panic it’s my blood flow so would definitely send me crazy testing.

Thankyou to everybody for such lovely messages!!

I have had such great antenatal care. Apart from my hospital appointments, I have had every single midwife appointment face to face! 25 weeks, 28 weeks, then 28 week bloods, then 31 and I have my 34 week scheduled for June 19th. It’s outrageous for your midwives to refuse to do face to face appointments as they measure your uterus which gives them a glimpse into how healthy baby is!
I would suggest you call them and have it out with them it’s very unfair not to give you appointments that you are entitled to!

Hope you get it sorted x

You're right to feel upset, I'd feel the same. We're having a surprise too. I was really anxious before my growth scan that they would accidentally tell me the sex and I would be too scared to speak up. Luckily they asked me if I knew.

My hospital seem to just stick to the standard appointment schedule in my notes and they've all been face to face. Next one is at 31 weeks. I really wouldn't be happy to have one over the phone from this point on especially cz I'm meant to be making a decision whether I have a 2nd section or not so need to know if baby is in a good position.

All my appointments have continued as normal. I had f2f booking (before covid mind you), my 12 & 20 week scans, 16, 22 & 28 week appointments have all been f2f with my community midwife I'm scheduled to have my 34 week appointment also f2f. Absolutely no changes to antenatal care so I can say I’ve been very very lucky. I’m based in Scotland.

I was very tempted to get a Doppler but I don’t think it’s the best idea. It can be really tricky to hear baby’s heartbeat at the best of times - even the midwives can’t always get it straight away & they have the correct training. I think it gives you false anxiety & false reassurance cause if you think something is wrong & use it you might be picking up your own heartbeat or the placenta & think everything is ok when it might not be. It’s really discouraged due to this.

I wouldnt get a doppler at one of my midwife appointments which went around my abdomen showing me my heartbeat, the noise of the placenta and then babies heartbeat.... It all sounded the same to me!

I'm sorry the sonographer spoilt your surprise, that's uncool.

All my midwife appointments have been face to face too. I had a consultant appointment which was over the phone but they would have seen me in person if necessary as it was we covered everything in the pre screening phone call (do you have covid symptoms type thing). I have an appointment with the perinatal mh team next week, I'm really hoping that is also face to face!

That is awful @gemso2020, we are having a surprise and I'd be really upset if the sonographer told us. Glad to hear everything is ok though!

I have the queen rose pregnancy pillow too, it's amazing! I couldn't stay on my side, so the pillow is brilliant for stopping me rolling onto my back.

Glad to hear everything is ok @Firstmummytobe

Hello, first time mum and first time Mumsnetter so sorry if I do this all wrong and I'm in the wrong thread!

I am due in August too and as well as hitting the tiredness and morning sickness take 2 wall (I swear I'm back at 6 weeks) I have also hit the "everyone treating me like I'm in capable of looking after myself" wall.

Think I just need to rant more than anything so here goes....I'm a 35 year old woman who has been living independently since I was 16 years old, I have been a police officer for 15 years and can handle most violent and traumatic situations that are thrown at me.

Yet it appears that now I'm in my third trimester I cannot possible think for myself and am being constantly being told what I'm capable of or what to do. Apart from my parents who as always just leave me to look after myself.

To put it into context I was told by my sister in law over Facetime that I should make sure I now always wash my hands after going to the toilet as I can catch germs and germs are bad in my third trimester...I think I was taught that when I was potty trained!! This is just one example...there are many many more...including my husband holding my hand so I can cross the road ok lol

Already I feel better for that so thanks for reading! I'm a very thick skinned person so not upset...but every now and then I just need a rant!

So...anyone else having this as well?

PS I know that its because people care for me. Just wish they would buy me chocolate instead as that too will show they care :-)

@babyb1985 I completely understand your frustration! I wouldn’t say I’ve had it as bad as what you’re experiencing but I’ve definitely had more “you need to be careful” etc! Be careful getting out the bath/shower, be careful going down the stairs, like I made it a habit of falling everywhere 🙄

Lol gemso2020!! Definately inpossible i have looked 30 weeks since 12 week scan im massive!!

Cant believe they told u it was a boy when u told them u didnt want to find out how careless.

Babyb1985 i relate so much to this. The world and its wife seem to have a opinion on what u should and shouldnt be doing so patrinizing also git an annoying neughbour whi keeps patting my bump and saying ' hows it going big girl!" Grrrrrrrrr

@babyb1985 oh that would drive me insane. Thankfully I only have a small bump still so people keep forgetting I'm pregnant if I wear the right clothes and with lockdown I'm not really seeing many people. The thing I keep getting most is make sure you get plenty of rest and sleep cause you're going to need it.... Erm.. Sleep now is not going to help me in 11 weeks when I have a newborn looking fed every 2 hours, also its impossible to sleep properly most of the times.

We love a good rant on here. So feel free any time. Welcome and congrats on the little 😊

Hello! I haven't been on much lately, we're doing work on our house and it's been a bit overwhelming if I'm honest and tiring! @JMill13 the 'rest now as you'll appreciate it in August' is starting to grate - as I'm not sure my body even works like that 😂

I just wondered whether anyone's MW had skipped the GD sugar test? I know the GTT has been dropped if you're not at risk, but I've seen a few of you comment on sugars coming back ok at 28wk appt and my MW just did haemoglobin and iron, I'm really worried about GD. x