Thread for us classed as mature pregnant ladies

[Sheera1]

Hi all. I wasn't wanted to hijack any threads on hear with specific questions, but wondered if anyone fancied a chat thread for us classed as mature mums to be? Anyone who feels they fit in that box are welcome to join.

I will start. 🌞

I am 41. I have a 10 year old ds and one mmc 3 yrs ago. New partner is reason for the gap.

I was very shocked when I found out as we had assumed that ship had sailed as no joy since mmc. Head was in that camp and was quite a shock to come out of it.

I am 13 weeks based on my scan later Friday. Awaiting NIPT results hopefully today or tomorrow. Been cautious after mmc but hard to not get so attached as the weeks go by.

My first purchase if all ok will be a pregnancy pillow.

Honestly I feel massive already. I am very overweight but was with ds and had a perfect fuss free pregnancy. This time I am so 🤢 and tired and feel just ill from 4pm onwards.

Instead of it easing up, last night I was still feeling 🤢 trying to sleep and was very uncomfortable due to feeling like my womb is massive.

Anyone else feeling like this? Goodness knows how I will be weeks from now. Eeek.

Aw @AncientandPregnant I am so sorry to hear that. You body was obviously trying it's best for your little one. It is such a cruel thing. Rest up and take care of your self and I hope things happen naturally for you. It took me a long time to get over my mmc and the shock of it all. Sending love and hugs xxx

Hi everyone, go glad this group exists! So many younger mums just aren't able to relate to the anxiety that comes with pregnancy at a later date. Esp when 30 somethings refer to themselves as "getting on a bit" etc.

Anyway, I'm 10+1 and first time pregnancy after a long 4 year struggle with ICSI and we got delayed in between our 3rd cycle with covid when we got our spontaneous BFP.

Feels like a miracle and still worry everyday. Had an early scan which looked well, now waiting for nhs scan on Monday. Wonder when the worry will end and we can begin to enjoy the news.

Also, I'm feeling/looking bloated more than pregnant and worry I'm just piling fat. Should you start to fill out at the upper abdomen area too? My bloating begins just under my boobs!

Hi @Dia12 wow! What a journey and just amazing what can happen! The top of your stomach fills out pretty quickly because that's where everything else goes as your uterus expands!! And bloating can add to that too! Boobs can grow quickly or not at all it would appear but it's entirely normal for them to grow and be quite tender - especially in the first trimester.

@AncientandPregnant I am so so sorry to read this. I had so much hope for your little one. I know the feeling of your body not doing what it's supposed to. After several MMC you think WTAF? Am I broken? If you need any support please feel free to PM me. I've been think of you a lot and am deeply saddened to read your news xx

Thought I'd post my birth experiences on here as might be useful.

DC1 at age 40, born 40+3. No special treatment, no talk of induction.

DC2 at age 42, born 40+3. Consultant led due to age. In reality this meant one appointment with a consultant, who signed me back to midwife led as no issues. Induction was discussed as an option if I went over 40 weeks.

At my 40w midwife appointment I was put under a lot of pressure to have an induction. I refused, and was allowed to go home on the condition I came in the next day for a check up. At the check up they told me to go home, have a good meal, collect some things and come back that night to be induced. I agreed as by this point I felt that it was what I wanted.

The induction itself was really easy. They just broke my waters, I was in labour 2 minutes later, and dc arrived after a 5 hour labour. I am very glad I agreed to an induction. It was a very well managed process. I had the same midwife stay with me, and felt very well looked after. A stark contrast to my first labour where I has two awful midwives, who didn't give a sh*t, and spent most of my labour sitting in their staff room. I have never felt so frightened or unsupported in my life. It was complicated birth that could have gone very wrong as well.

@AncientandPregnant I'm so sorry. Have been there myself so I know how devastating it feels. Take good care of yourself and wishing you all the very best. Will be thinking of you x

I've been induced once with DS1 as he was 2 weeks late and my waters broke but I didn't have any contractions naturally. After an 18 hour labour and a big stuck head! I had an EMCS. I had nothing to compare being induced to at the time and still don't as has an ELCS the next time. But I have heard they make your contractions much more intense - I had an epidural after being 100% convinced my spine was about to snap in two!

I hope everyone else is okay today. I've had a bit of an emotional couple of days. Supposed to be my lovely two days off watching Glasto highlights but DP is really down which I'm not very good at emotionally so been a lot of tears!
Then I accidentally upset a friend and she refuses to take my apology and full acceptance that I was wrong so been in tears most of the day because of that (thank you hormones!) Then I've also been worried that what little baby movements I was getting had stopped so I contacted the midwife triage who sorted me out a call from my midwife and I'm just back from the hospital after listening to a lovely heartbeat and some kicks! So that has cheered me up.

I've also been crocheting some cuddly animals which I'm really enjoying.

I hope you're all able to enjoy the sun without expiring!

Oh @sheera1 well done on the purchases!

Can't remember if I said but the pram I want in the colours I want is sold out so I've asked for a 'back in stock' email. I guess we'll be purchasing that as soon as I get the email. Bit scary!

@Frazzlerock glad you've been sorted out!! I think because baby is still so tiny they get tucked up in "corners" where we can't feel them but as you heard they're definitely moving around! Mine had moved totally this morning from having been really really low for a good few days. I felt some movement yesterday, which I suspect was the moving I felt!!! Looking forward to more regular and definite movements - although I'm starting up getting anxious about the anomaly scan now.. 😳 I'm trying (and failing) to not think about it! I'm pretty certain it's going to have to be an alone job again isn't it?! Last I had to go alone but we'd had a private anomaly scan together the week before so I knew what was what. Not sure what to do this time.

@AncientandPregnant so sad and sorry to hear your news. Mc are tough and if it’s any comfort I do believe it is mother nature’s way of looking after you. Take care xx

Good morning hot pregnant ladies !

I'm not very good at keeping up with this thread so I have just had a wee update read .
About to get up as have zoom training all day weep.. I'm 32 weeks and could do without a 6 day week in a heatwave, in lockdown , with 2 kids who have just started their 'holidays ' ...

Struggling on this heat. Even in Dundee the temperature has cranked up to what feels like 30 degrees. I have developed a new obsession with magnum . Has anyone tried the dark chocolate and raspberry ones - hard to get hold off but worth it.
I too have turned my hot tub down & this helps and showers x lots . I'm usually a sun worshipper but even for me its too much .

I also read that thread. Not sure why I do this to myself! It's horrible. I find solace in your banter ladies. My life is not mumsnet friendly. I have 2 kids from a relationship that failed. They were with an older man, so actually I also have three step kids in their twenties. So this child now en route is with a second partner. And as my two DC rightly said this baby will mean they each have 5 siblings. The area I live in has a mumsnet vibe...for a couple of the mums. ..I will never forget the consternation caused on a mums night out with my oldest in p1 when I said that I asked my partner to leave , redecorated my house and started afresh and put myself on tinder. There was much pearl clutching 🤣🤣🤣. I suspect current DP is more conventional but it has still raised an eyebrow that I am continuing to spawn at my age (and that I have a good relationship with my ex , so the two dads are friendly). I care less than ever about fitting in in that sense. Do not let anyone judge your circumstances! Whoever said get your nose out of other peoples wombs has it spot on !

I'm o a couple of other MN groups but struggle with some of the chat tbh.

Sheera love your marketplace steals .I'm all over baby bay..

Re inductions , I am having that discussion in 10 days with my consultant. As my partner works offshore I would like a more definitive plan though I know that's not possible, but ws told to discuss induction with him.

Can someone re pin the stats? I can't keep up with who is around 31 weeks.

Also- where is everyone- I see there are some Glasgow mums here ? X

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Oh @AncientandPregnant I'm so so sorry to hear your sad news. I hope you can take the time to grieve and feel miserable (and angry and anything else you feel), it takes a long time to get through something like this so be kind to yourself xx

Morning @Realladymarmalade. I am sad to report that as of this morning I have no ice cream or even ice lollies in the freezer 😱 We're not doing supermarkets yet because of DPs health problems so that's it till the ocado delivery on Sunday. Nightmare! It's allegedly going to be cooler today but I think my body temperature has built up so much in the past few days that it's going to take a while for it to cool..

I'm in London btw. I hope those in Glasgow are all safe and well and as unaffected as possible by yesterday's horrible events x

Hi, this is my first post. I think I’ve found my people.

I’m 39 and pregnant with (what I hope is) my first child. I’ve suffered 2 previous mmc and I had one round of IVF which failed. I’m now pregnant again naturally and 12 weeks along which is the furthest I’ve ever managed.

I had 2 reassurance scans at 7 and 9 weeks showing healthy growth and heartbeat and I have my 12 week scan on Monday which I’m sick with fear about. I can see clearly being told there’s no heartbeat but equally I’m expecting everything to be fine. 50:50. Messed up mind trying to prepare for things it’s impossible to prepare for.

I’m in Scotland (ayrshire) and I’m really pleased to have found this thread

Hi everyone, trying to catch up with all the posts...had crazy busy week training my maternity cover in virtual world which I find really difficult, exhausted from it and also from this heat...so glad it rained this morning and it’s a bit cooler. Will be 36w on wed and really struggling. Bump is so big and uncomfortable. He’s been a bit sluggish for the past few days, I think he doesn’t like the heat too. Having another scan on wed and they should decide when they want baby out..as 45 , consultant wants baby out earlier, still hoping the sweep will work, really scared to have an induction, but mainly instrumental delivery.

Really love some of your comments re other thread, being too old and selfish etc..some people don’t know how lucky they are they get pregnant quickly or by accident etc..they don’t understand that some people might struggle and it’s not easy for them to get pregnant. People just need to mind their own business. Until recently people kept asking if we are going to have a second one, after I got pregnant they were all suddenly surprised and worried, asking me if I’m not worried my child will not be healthy (stupid question, of course I am) whether it was an accident etc..not nice...they do t know it’s ivf baby and that I had a mmc before. I’m too tired to explain things to people I shouldn’t need to so they try to understand.

Really sorry to hear your news @AncientandPregnant. Been there and it’s heartbreaking. Look after yourself x

Glad to hear the baby is all fine @Frazzlerock.

Hope all of you are ok and enjoying this cooler weather.

Hello Kelpie.

Loving all the Scottish mums here. Ta for the words on Glasgow yesterday. We don't really know what happened yet. I have a horrible feeling it is a hate crime bigotry or racism as the hotel was where asylum seekers have been put up. Makes me very angry if so as generally speaking Glasgow is a friendly and accepting place but we have our bag mix of racists and bigots too unfortunately. It wasn't terrorism. Is is bad of me saying it seems blown way out of proportion to be worldwide news? I guess if it was racial it is pretty peak news at the moment. I am sure we will find out soon.

Kelpie123. You are in the right place. We have supported each other through the 12 week puke inducing scan nerves and will support you. Think a high percentage on here have had an mmc and know how shocking and awful it is and how you don't view your pregnancy they same anymore. Everyday is a worry. It is natural and finding out others feel the same does help.

I have my 20 week scan a week on Friday as does Frazzle and Onlyreading (think I have that right I keep messing people and stories up baby brain time). That is us starting the nerves chat for that so we can all hold each others hands virtually.

Pregnantporcupine it is raining here now and glad it is not so hot here now. Sending youcandothis vibes for your training and the kids on hols.

Realladymarmalade. I am obsessed with almond Magnums. Eaten way too many this pregnancy. The new Toblerone ice creams are amazing too. I love your story and especially the pearl clutching 😁😂.

Oh my goodness my baby brain is dreadful. The Zoom chat comment was for Realladymarmalade. I literally can't hold a thought in my head for 30 seconds or more. 🙈🙈

Thanks so much Sheera1 and I totally agree about the Glasgow incident - sounds like a poor poor person that has been dealt a lot of blows recently and mentally cannot cope anymore. Of course the racists will latch on to this as an anti asylum seeker story. Sad for everyone involved.

I appreciate the virtual hand holding and will reciprocate on Friday. It’s funny how the closer it gets the more time seems to take forever. In a way I wish I didn’t have a scan.

So glad it’s cooler today - I normally love the heat but it’s made me feel so queasy recently. I’m definitely getting more savoury cravings so all the talk of ice cream magnums is making my stomach churn

There’s a theory savoury cravings = boy and sweet = girl

Just catching up with the news, haven’t watched tv for a few days..sorry to hear what happened in Glasgow, hope it wasn’t act of terrorism.. so sad what’s happening, world / people have enough to deal with currently, things like that don’t help..

Have your hospitals relaxed rules about partners attending the scans/appointments? My hospital still doesn’t allow partners, which is a shame, my consultant is so rude I’m always scared to ask any questions and feel like running out of time to make any decisions..or worried being pushed into something I don’t want to do..

Welcome @Kelpie123..not sure about your theory..I’m eating chocolates, magnum, Nutella (from a jar ☺️) like there is no tomorrow and having a boy..

haha fool11 that’s good cos although I honestly wouldn’t mind either gender I only have a girls name at moment.

I’ll call my hospital on Monday morning to ask but I’m expecting them to say still no partners which is really unfair considering other things that are allowed which have in my opinion a higher risk.

Hello ladies, just trying to catch up with all he posts!

I hate reading the posts where people comment about ladies being too old to have Babies! I have been a young mum two, had my other two at 23 and 28. My marriage broke down due to my ex being unfaithful,

I'm now re married and expecting baby number 3 at 40. My hubby doesn't have any other children

I've also been advised to be induced at 40weeks due to my age. I'm not overly keen as I would like a natural birth but keep getting told it's what they advise!

How's everyone doing today? Another week ticked off....only 30 more to go 🙄!

Hi @Kelpie123....we have very similar circumstances. Had failed icsi cycles and some early miscarries. Spontaneously fell pregnant unexpectedly and now around 10+3.
My scan is on Monday too.

Anxiety is a constant up and down, between hopeful and just absolutely petrified.
Time seems to be moving so slowly and just wish I could get past the danger zones of first trimester and 20w anomaly scan.

@Dia12 it’s good to have someone in similar circumstances I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow and hope and pray everything goes well. Post as soon as you can. My appt is at 1.50 and wish it was the morning to get it over with. You’re right even after tomorrow if everything is ok it’s just the next hurdle but I guess that’s motherhood, constant worry.

@Samk79 congrats on your third baby that’s good you’ll have plenty of help with this wee one