Thread for us classed as mature pregnant ladies

[Sheera1]

Hi all. I wasn't wanted to hijack any threads on hear with specific questions, but wondered if anyone fancied a chat thread for us classed as mature mums to be? Anyone who feels they fit in that box are welcome to join.

I will start. 🌞

I am 41. I have a 10 year old ds and one mmc 3 yrs ago. New partner is reason for the gap.

I was very shocked when I found out as we had assumed that ship had sailed as no joy since mmc. Head was in that camp and was quite a shock to come out of it.

I am 13 weeks based on my scan later Friday. Awaiting NIPT results hopefully today or tomorrow. Been cautious after mmc but hard to not get so attached as the weeks go by.

My first purchase if all ok will be a pregnancy pillow.

Honestly I feel massive already. I am very overweight but was with ds and had a perfect fuss free pregnancy. This time I am so 🤢 and tired and feel just ill from 4pm onwards.

Instead of it easing up, last night I was still feeling 🤢 trying to sleep and was very uncomfortable due to feeling like my womb is massive.

Anyone else feeling like this? Goodness knows how I will be weeks from now. Eeek.

Haven't seen the post but thank god as I'm already over thinking my age and I don't need that, my anxiety bad enough just now...

Hope everyone doing well, I am super tired all the time and can't sleep, have blinding headaches ... I'm on strong dose of iron now so hopefully that helps.

Ladies is it just me or can we do nothing in pregnancy... I took antihistamine last couple days genuinely didn't even look at the box as the nhs website says it's ok (just the loratadine ones and then when I've looked it says no in pregnancy so stressing I've done something to baby! Baths they say don't have, Epsom salts consult a GP ... my god, can we do anything 😩😩😩

Christ I'm feeling awful too. Managed a dog walk today and then went back to bed as was wiped out. I have barely moved all day, and my stomach feels HUGE and I'm only 12 weeks. Reaaaaly hoping this is the last dying hoorahs of first trimester fatigue and next week I shall be reborn as a glowing sparkly alpha mamma. Not hopeful though! Bring on the thunderstorms..

On a positive note re the older mums thing, DP's mum was 40 when she had him (back in the 70s when it was pretty rare). She's still going strong and he's never mentioned any downsides to having an older mum, so it definitely can work out well

Sorry to those feeling rubbish . @Clarkel1 - I think there is a lot of arse covering by drug companies! When I spoke to my gp he said that some types antihistamine were basically fine but obviously they can't directly test them on pregnant women so they can never say for sure. I'd go with whatever it says on the NHS website if I were you.

Feeling exactly the same, 13 weeks tomorrow and I'm hoping to wake up a new woman who doesn't just feel tired, fat, hot and emotional!! Got so hot and sick today at work I secretly went for a lie down in the air-conditioned computer room and nearly dozed off 😄.

I hope everyone starts to feel better soon, I'm off to sit in the paddling pool again 🥵

@PregnantPorcupine hope so I feel now a bad person thinking I've poisoned my baby for a hayfever tablet! 😞😞 I feel massive as well I'm only just nearly 12 weeks, belly smaller in the morning and then by night I look 6 months and not 3 🙈 can't wait for an energy input! I was walking about my house today looking at all the diy I done early lock down thinking my god how the hell did I manage that, I can barely hang a washing up just now I'm that tired 😂 tired but can't sleep 😡

Hi all, hope all are well and not too baked in this sticky weather.

Just caught up on all your messages and have to say I’m not the slightest bit interested in reading the ‘other’ thread about age and selfishness.

Life is so utterly unpredictable, a 25 yr old could have a child and still not live to see her child turn 10.

There are endless benefits of being an older mum, maturity and a non judgemental outlook for a start ;)

My partner said today people will talk about our pregnancy behind our backs, I can tell he’s concerned. I’m 45. It’s a surprise but, I could not care a hoot what anyone thinks. I hope you all don’t either, here’s to growing ungracefully older surrounded by babies 😋 xx

Same here - belly not that bad in the morning but by night time its mahoosive! And when I eat I get so bloated. It's really uncomfortable. I'm hoping it passes and I reach that 'glowing' part of pregnancy. Have felt more energetic recently and even managed to stay up past 9pm a couple of times so hopefully on the road to recovery.

@PregnantPorcupine love that about your DH. My neighbour is in his 90s and still cycles round the streets on his bike!

Hope everyone gets some sleep tonight. Going to be a sticky one unless these thunderstorms appear!

There was another thread appeared yesterday on when was ‘too old’. People really should try to keep their noses out of other people’s wombs.

Today has been a bit of a trial heatwise. I’ve got through it by either lying in front of the fan or sitting with my feet in the washing up bowl full of cold water, and eating ice lollies one after the other. I’ve wanted a sun lounger for the garden since the start of lockdown, I got one a few weeks ago then it immediately started raining so it never made it out of my car. Finally got it out today then was too hot to sit on it - even in the shade! Then when I eventually did I found I couldn’t get up and needed to holler for DH to come and rescue me. I’m not allowed to use it unsupervised now apparently 😂

35 weeks today. Think I’m developing cankles.

I nodded off before on the sofa whilst DH was watching football. Woke up an uncomfortable sweaty mess with cramp in my neck so made the supreme effort to haul myself up to bed where of course I’m now wide awake. Contemplating getting back in a cool shower.

My sons 18 and when we told him he said, great everyone's going to think the baby's mine 😂 ! Send to be ok for the celebrity's to have babies in later life... so what's good for them is good for me 😂

On another note, why was I told of today by a friend for having a bath every night is this new? I've never worried with my other two! Feel like we can't actually do anything in pregnancy now 😩

@Clarkel1 My eldest sister was 19 when I was born - quite a few people actually did think I was hers

I don’t think there’s any advice against having baths. Your friend is just being over cautious! You’re not supposed to have saunas and I think hot tubs are iffy - it’s the risk of overheating/ fainting I guess but as long as your baths aren’t boiling you should be fine. You’re actually recommended a warm bath in the early stages of labour.

Loving the comments here on that thread and giggling away. @Celibacydidntwork I read your comment first about judgemental cocks rather than outlook and it totally scanned. 😂. Love the nose out of people's wombs too.

Oh to be 20 again and thinking I knew the world and was so decisive in my views. I think that is called ignorance and naivety. We must but laugh.

I must admit I haven't had any shade from anyone yet. My mum is worried a bit, but she would be anyway.

My mum.and Dad are 70 and fitter and more life than some 40 and 50 year olds I know. When we are 70 our babies will be around 30. Hardly going to be leaving children behind us and I plan to live a good 20 years after that too!

My concerns on age are more selfish ones that I will be knackered and how will I cope not anything to do with age difference of my kids or anything like that. And I think we over think things or rather I do more now I am older but that is also to do with things having gone wrong before and I could have had an mmc at 20 and feel the same way.

I have the fan on and all the windows open

I have a hottub and been in it lots, just turned it down and today it was lovely and refreshing rather than hot.
I think hot tubs and hot baths are partly dehydration and dizziness but it is dangerous if your body temp rises. I have my hottub and baths below my body temp which is still plenty nice to float around it. Tbh I prefer it not really hot anyway when not pregnant unless it is freezing outside.

I was surprised that ibuprofen was off the list. I don't remember it from first time round.

Oh and I have a new fbook marketplace obsession. Despite it really sort of being too early to buy things as still not had my anomaly scan I am obsessed with bargain hunting. Having a 10 or gap like some of us on here I have zero baby stuff now and starting again.

So far I have managed to get (and all basically brand new or used once or twice):

A joie serina 2 in one rocker swing for £45
A close to me magic for £70
A close caboo sling for £20
A shnuggi dreamie moses basket for £35
And a tommee tippee set with electric steamer, bottle warmer and bottles set (most still in wrapper) for £25.

I am going on the basis I should be able to sell all that if something goes wrong.

@Sheera1 love a bargain!!

It's 4am and I'm wide awake due to 1. The 3.5yr old wetting the bed 2. The 6 Yr old being thirsty 3. One of the cats falling out of the top bedroom window that is open - he's an indoor cat (by his choice) but has a history of falling out of open windows after which he panics because he doesn't like going outside!! 4. Now feeling sick again - hopefully I'll Get back to sleep again or it's going to be a very long day!!

@Sheera1 🙅🏼🙅🏽‍♀️No to judgemental cocks 😂😂

Hi all - I hope everyone is surviving in this heat!

I've just had a conversation with my consultant and apparently it's a matter of course due to me being 42 for them to induce me at 39 weeks...

I said why and he said it's the risk of preeclampsia and diabetes - I said so if I'm healthy then I don't need to be induced and he said oh we'll talk about it nearer the time.

I don't know about you all but my feeling is if I'm healthy and so is baby then nature should take it's course!

PS I'm only 14 weeks to be talking about this seems a little like he's jumping the gun!

@LJEva I've mentioned this up thread but when I had my last baby 3.5yrs ago aged 40yrs 10months I asked the consultant about induction at 40 weeks - bearing in mind I'd been induced previously before 40weeks it at 40 weeks for various reasons and have had pre eclampsia (in my first pregnancy but not since). She firmly told me that was only done for first time mums over 40 and wasn't relevant to me. I did end up being induced - that was what I wanted - at 39+3. Either protocol has now changed again or induction for the over 40s is trust and consultant dependant. I'm going to go and look up the nice guidelines now and see what they say!! Certainly you don't HAVE to be induced if that's not what you want.

@LJEva

So after some googling it appears that

1. NICE don't have specific guidelines for induction of labour in women aged over 40.

1. RCOG (royal college of obstetricians and gynaecologists) suggest that it is a good idea to induce women over 40 between 39 & 40 weeks. This was back in 2013 so my consultant would have had this information when I had my last in 2016.

1. The Royal Berkshire hospital offers induction for over 40s between 39 & 40 weeks basically to reduce Rick of stillbirth, which at 39 weeks is the same risk as for a woman aged

@onlyreadingneverposting8

Thank you for posting your findings. That’s really helpful. I’m still weighing up what I want to do about induction. My consultant (well I’ve seen 2 so not sure who I’m actually under) seem to think it’s a matter of course, but I’m quite reluctant at the moment. Like @LJEva says, if I’m healthy and baby is I’m happy to let nature take its course. I’ve got my 36 scan week after next (closer to 37 weeks) and I’ll see what that shows and take it from there.

[quote onlyreadingneverposting8]@LJEva

So after some googling it appears that

1. NICE don't have specific guidelines for induction of labour in women aged over 40.

1. RCOG (royal college of obstetricians and gynaecologists) suggest that it is a good idea to induce women over 40 between 39 & 40 weeks. This was back in 2013 so my consultant would have had this information when I had my last in 2016.

1. The Royal Berkshire hospital offers induction for over 40s between 39 & 40 weeks basically to reduce Rick of stillbirth, which at 39 weeks is the same risk as for a woman aged

[quote AliasGrape]@onlyreadingneverposting8

Thank you for posting your findings. That’s really helpful. I’m still weighing up what I want to do about induction. My consultant (well I’ve seen 2 so not sure who I’m actually under) seem to think it’s a matter of course, but I’m quite reluctant at the moment. Like @LJEva says, if I’m healthy and baby is I’m happy to let nature take its course. I’ve got my 36 scan week after next (closer to 37 weeks) and I’ll see what that shows and take it from there.[/quote]
Good luck! Let us know how it goes :)

My friend who was 44 and gave birth in France had talk of an induction because her girl hadn't seemed to gain weight towards the end but then she had a bit of a growth spurt so she was allowed to go into labour naturally... I'm holding onto that story as a positive!

I'm also watching and reading lots of positive induction birth stories on the Positive Birth Company website as everyone is always quick to tell you with birth full stop all the things that hurt but I'm choosing to focus on it being a great experience. I did hypnobirthing with my first and even though in the end I was in theatre with forceps to get her out I felt so calm and in control throughout... I'm very aware how mind set really does frame our experience of things!

No problem! @AliasGrape and @LJEva. I've been induced 6 times out of 8 babies. 1st time with my 1st due to late onset pre eclampsia- it wasn't great tbh! 2 lots of gel, then waters broken and baby ended up in distress and I had an awful midwife!! ended up with an emcs. All the other times I've just had my waters broken and everything has been pretty straight forward. I have been continuously monitored once labour got going but tbh I've been able to stand up to labour when I wanted and I've felt reassured by the monitoring given what happened with my first. I've not needed a drip to augment labour thankfully - I have had a drip twice after giving birth to prevent severe bleeding (this is due to the number of babies I've had) - again you see the different consultants views - I've had my last 4 at 4 different hospitals. At one they didn't treat me differently, at one they got extra vials of syntometrine out in case I needed extra and at 2 they automatically put the drip up to pre empt any problems.

Had my final scan this morning. It confirmed the baby died at 6+6 (I’m meant to be 9 weeks today) but I haven’t bled because my body has busily carried on growing the gestational sac and amniotic sac and pretending all is OK. I will leave the thread now even though I feel so invested in some of your stories and really want you all to have good outcomes. Good luck all. X

Really sorry @AncientandPregnant wishing you all the best and hoping that the mc will be straightforward for you. I would maybe change your thinking that your body though everything was ok to your body did everything correctly to support the pregnancy. It's very easy to think negatively about our bodies when mc occurs but actually our bodies are very good at getting things right - it's our minds that get it wrong! Lots of love to you! Xx

I’m so sorry @AncientandPregnant Look after yourself xxxx