Thread for us classed as mature pregnant ladies

[Sheera1]

Hi all. I wasn't wanted to hijack any threads on hear with specific questions, but wondered if anyone fancied a chat thread for us classed as mature mums to be? Anyone who feels they fit in that box are welcome to join.

I will start. 🌞

I am 41. I have a 10 year old ds and one mmc 3 yrs ago. New partner is reason for the gap.

I was very shocked when I found out as we had assumed that ship had sailed as no joy since mmc. Head was in that camp and was quite a shock to come out of it.

I am 13 weeks based on my scan later Friday. Awaiting NIPT results hopefully today or tomorrow. Been cautious after mmc but hard to not get so attached as the weeks go by.

My first purchase if all ok will be a pregnancy pillow.

Honestly I feel massive already. I am very overweight but was with ds and had a perfect fuss free pregnancy. This time I am so 🤢 and tired and feel just ill from 4pm onwards.

Instead of it easing up, last night I was still feeling 🤢 trying to sleep and was very uncomfortable due to feeling like my womb is massive.

Anyone else feeling like this? Goodness knows how I will be weeks from now. Eeek.

@onlyreadingneverposting8 no we are leaving it as a surprise, though we are 99% sure its a boy (just because I've had two boys and two lost babies were boys) so I don't think it'll be a huge surprise

Told you my list was long! I'm sure DP will do an eyebrow raise at most of them

My harmony test came back as Low Probability Less than 1/10,000 (0.01%) for all 3 trisomys. My nhs was 1 in 19, 1 in 47 and 1 in 147 due to age mainly, and nuchal scan, was then adjusted, after blood test to 1 in 387 , 1 in 939 and 1 in 2949..so i was glad i had the harmony test. Also 12w and 20w anomaly scan at the fetal med centre in london was very reassuring, much more detailed than my nhs one.

i will think about the bump pict..right now really self conscious..

I do think the Harmony/NIPT is invaluable (if it works of course). It's 99% accurate for Downs and I think 97 or 98% for Edwards and Patau so I really think it is worthwhile especially if you get a high chance with NT.
It's incredible what they can do just with a blood sample!

I have a couple of girls names overlap with @Frazzlerock. Our lists are

Girls:
Olivia
Wilhelmina (Willa)
Theodora (Thea)
Isadora
Aphra
Persephone (nn Percy!)
Nina
Esther
Josephine (nn Joey)

Boys:
Hector
Oscar
Freddie

Everyone has great taste in names! I'm loving all of them!!

I like Esther and Oscar @AncientandPregnant It's great you have Willa on there as I have only met one Willa about 20 years ago and no one else seems to have heard of it. Most people say "do you mean Willow?" No I don't 🙄

Loving the name lists. DH and I can’t agree at all so we keep having a half hearted discussion then giving up as it’s too frustrating! The only boys’ name we both love is Freddy but that’s taken by the dog!

I know the middle name for a girl will be June and for a boy will be Henry - family names that are important to us to include.

These are the names I like - I’ve left out the ones DH has outright vetoed but he’s not particularly struck on these either!

Girl:
Iris
Francesca
Camilla
Serena
Erin
Delilah
Claudia

Boys:
Elis
Charlie
Hugo
Spencer
Gabriel
Blake
Rowan

@AncientandPregnant I had an amniocentesis. My screening risk came back as 1 in 104. I was referred for a cvs but when the consultant scanned me, my placenta was posterior so they couldn't do a cvs. They offered to do an amniocentesis thee and then or come back for a cvs. The hospital I had to go to was over an hour away and I had geared myself to have it done so I went for the amniocentesis, thankfully it all came back clear. It's still hard not to worry x

@Frazzle I'm all for talking and being open about my losses. I really want to break down the silences and awkwardness. That sounds cheesy but honestly some of my favourite friends couldn't face me or bring it up afterwards.
So to answer the questions (but hopefully not scare anyone) I'd had a 7 and 12 week scan and all was fine. Low risk results for combined test and I've had two healthy babies, one when I was 19 and one when I was 38 so this was totally out of the blue.

We just went to the 20 week scan and the sonography has to break the news to us.
I had to give birth a few days later. Our daughter was sent for a post mortem but they couldn't find anything to suggest a cause. Having read a lot about later losses the thinking is something attacked the pregnancy rather than anything being wrong with the pregnancy itself.
I want to stress that the chances of this happening to anyone here or me again is absolutely tiny. Awful luck but I try and focus on the fact I'm lucky I have two children when so many are not that lucky.

@onlyreadingneverposting8 my daughter is 21 today. Happy birthdays to our eldest children children!

Ah these names are all beautiful! I love them all. Not thought as far ahead as that but, all going well, will need to get my thinking cap on!

@Sheera1 that's why I phoned back to try and see if they would scan me again before I reach 14 weeks but nope. They said it's common not to get the measurements and that's it. So now onto bloods. I think I might phone my midwife tomorrow for a chat but not convinced she'll say anything different.

@frazzlerock I totally get what you mean about a reputable place. I was given a voucher for a 3D scan during my last pregnancy as a gift. The 'sonographer' was dressed in jeans and a jumper and pushed my tummy so hard I asked her to stop. Couldnt get out quick enough and got no 3D pic but didnt care. So I'll do some research and see if there's anywhere local I could go. I know nothing's 100% but I'm already anxious about this pregnancy given previous loss so any I'll take any reassurance or info I can get

@footprintsintheslow thank you for sharing your experience. I agree, I think it's so important to talk, even though it's hard, because so many have had losses and it can be a very lonely experience. You sound like a strong lady x

@Countingblessings thanks it has made me stronger but to be honest every woman I know is strong one way or another.

As for names: I love the lists and I've taught children with some of the names featured and they've all been lovely children to have in class! I know that doesn't make any difference really but I do associate children from previous classes with picking baby names.
We are both Welsh so we'll be going for a Welsh name. All my children share the same middle name as do many of my extended family.
It's 'Wynne' and can be spelt in different ways to suit male or female. My eldest daughter has a different surname to my newest two as I've remarried now so having the same middle name provides the link for me.
Even though we've narrowed it down to Welsh names it's still hard to decide, especially as someone else was saying on here we've used a few favourites for pets!

Footprints that must have been heartbreaking. My mmc at 12 weeks was awful and I still can't imagine what that would have been like at 20 weeks. I am so sorry. It is good to talk about it though esp with people with similar stories. I was surprised how many of my friends had early miscarriages when I started to talk about my mmc. It take a long time to heal.

Loving the names!

@Frazzlerock I absolutely adore Emi. Have never heard that before. Beautiful. Also I love Gabriel and forgot it was on our list too @aliasgrape Love Iris and Erin too.@ancient love Thea and Freddie. My ex wanted Hector for DS but didn't go with the surname.

Total fail on the clexane front this evening.

I tried to inject myself but just couldn’t bring myself to do it. It’s stupid - the nurse did it for me yesterday to show me what to do and it wasn’t even that painful, just a bit stingy. I’m not worried about that, I injected my mum with similar every day when caring for her and I did it for my auntie after her operation too. I’m not squeamish about needles but I just couldn’t bring myself to put it in.

DH is going to have to do it but this evening he’s been having (socially distanced) drinks with his brother. It was his gran’s funeral today so fair enough they wanted a drinking/reminiscing session but I didn’t fancy him coming at me with a needle after it, so we’ve abandoned it for today and I’ll have to get him to do it tomorrow.

I feel a bit pathetic!

@AliasGrape This is the 4 the pregnancy I've had clexane for. I'm on it from my first consultants appointment to 6 weeks postnatal. Two major tips.

1. Use a little ice pack to numb the area (I've only just found this tip and it's great!!)
2. Don't jab the needle in! Place the needle against your skin and push it in very slowly. Do this whilst breathing steadily and calmly and I find having a bit of distraction like the tv on helps too.

Also don't rub afterward as it makes the stinging worse. I was like you when I first had to do them - I was trying to just jab it in like the nurse would but the anticipation meant I couldn't.
Good luck! You can do it!!

@footprintsintheslow that is incredibly sad. I'm so very sorry you went through that, thank you for sharing. I totally agree with you that it is important to share MC experiences. I talk a lot about ours on social media. Most people have been really lovely and supportive, but I have lost 'friends' because of it. But then I have gained some too through my campaigning, so all is good

I know what you mean about associating names with children (and adults). I do the same. I used to be a nanny and then a childminder when I had my own children and have looked after lots of children. Some of the names on my list are after those I've looked after - my favourite children. Jago, Jasper, Willa and Grace were especially lovely children so they feature quite high in my mental list. Although I named our last little baby boy, who we lost in January, Jasper so I can't really use it!
I'm also with those who have named their pets with their favourite names. We have a cat called Sebastian and I love that name. I said to DP I'm a bit gutted we named him that as I really love it. Then he said "It's a bit posh though"

@Sheera1 I think Hector is a brilliant name but I don't think I'd be brave enough to use it, I don't know why!

@AliasGrape I think I'd have the same problem. I have no issue with needles but I've never had to inject myself or anyone else so I'd have to ask DP to do it if I had to. I guess it's practice. Just gotta bite the bullet and shove it in, right? - Or not if you listen to onlyreadingneverposting8 - which you should do, and not me as I have no idea haha.

Is anyone still suffering with headaches? I've a feeling it might be my eyes and staring at my laptop all day as I only ever get them on the days I'm working. I probably need to get a stronger prescription on my reading glasses. I was really suffering from it yesterday. I had to go to bed early and close my eyes.

In other news, I have my scan this morning at 10am. Slightly anxious... I've been awake since 4:30am. It's going to be a long day.
Then my Recurrent MC consultant is ringing me, not sure why really. I spoke to another consultant only last week so who knows.

@Frazzlerock one of the nicest children I know is a Jago.

Good luck at the scan today. I'll be thinking of you. I'm going to ring the midwife today to see if there's a chance of getting me in for a scan before I'm 12 weeks. I don't want special treatment but I want to be looked after and I just want some special trartment😂

I think you deserve some special treatment @footprintsintheslow! I think we miss out on a lot of check ups during lock down which is unfair.
I especially hate that we don't get to hear the heartbeat at the 16 week midwife check. See what you can do! They can only say no. Then you can arrange a private one.

@footprintsintheslow I am so sorry for what you went through. It must have been heartbreaking.

@frazzlerock good luck for today’s scan.

I haven’t much sickness or nausea which is very unlike my other pregnancies. Maybe it’s too early? When did others start feeling sick? I’m 7+3. I do keep getting hot flushes that make me feel dizzy and a bit sick and really sweaty. I feel more like I’ve hit the perimenopuse than become pregnant. Has anyone else had hot flushes?

@AncientandPregnant I haven't had any sickness with this one. Out of 7 pregnancies, I only had nausea with one. I'm convinced she was a girl and all the others were boys. Another reason I think this one is a boy.
I've had hot episodes, but only the last few weeks when it has been really hot, especially at night.

Good luck today Frazzle! I love scans, they are amazing to watch how clear the little parts are

Footprints, that was a sad thing which happened to your little girl:( Losses arent really talked about enough x

And yeah we have a big group here too, we will be 7/5 to the blues when this one comes along, the last 4 will all be blues when this little one is here, would have loved a pink one as a bit of a change but blue is excellent We have no names!! Well we all have a name but somebody in the household has strongly vetoed everybody elses name choices, I am seriously thinking about naming him after the dog we lost last year. I think he will have to come home from hospital and just see who he looks like or let him pick a name from a hat that we have put in, imagine naming yourself at 2 weeks old:) I feel its not as hard as it may sound to have a large family, for me the key is negotiation, 'we cant do this but how about this, if so and so can borrow this I will trade you' its just like juggling but just moving your hands faster

AI will be throwing Seth out there as a name suggestion today, I will let you know how it goes