Thread for us classed as mature pregnant ladies

[Sheera1]

Hi all. I wasn't wanted to hijack any threads on hear with specific questions, but wondered if anyone fancied a chat thread for us classed as mature mums to be? Anyone who feels they fit in that box are welcome to join.

I will start. 🌞

I am 41. I have a 10 year old ds and one mmc 3 yrs ago. New partner is reason for the gap.

I was very shocked when I found out as we had assumed that ship had sailed as no joy since mmc. Head was in that camp and was quite a shock to come out of it.

I am 13 weeks based on my scan later Friday. Awaiting NIPT results hopefully today or tomorrow. Been cautious after mmc but hard to not get so attached as the weeks go by.

My first purchase if all ok will be a pregnancy pillow.

Honestly I feel massive already. I am very overweight but was with ds and had a perfect fuss free pregnancy. This time I am so 🤢 and tired and feel just ill from 4pm onwards.

Instead of it easing up, last night I was still feeling 🤢 trying to sleep and was very uncomfortable due to feeling like my womb is massive.

Anyone else feeling like this? Goodness knows how I will be weeks from now. Eeek.

Morning all

@AncientandPregnant I'm really sorry to hear your news - it must really mess with your head after everything else. I hope it all works out

@AliasGrape I'm not surprised you feel anxious about hospitals after everything that's happened in your past . Have they definitely said "no" to the midwife lead unit? If the unit is within the hospital could you argue that you'll start there and move to the labour ward if anything seems to be going awry? Or maybe you could ask to speak to someone or see photos of the labour ward to try to get used to the idea a bit (I suspect a tour would be out of the question at the moment). I'm also really worried about giving birth on the labour ward.. I was leaning towards an ELCS at first but now swaying towards a water birth in the MLU or even at home but of course there's a reasonable chance that I'd have to move across anyway if anything goes wrong.

My news is that I had a midwife appointment yesterday and the baby is currently breach.. I suspected as much as I've had lots of movements low down. Hopefully she'll move herself so I've been given a load of exercises from "spinning babies" to try - has anyone had this before?? Did they move?

Hi @PregnantPorcupine my second was breach although I can't remember at what point this was picked up at (11 years ago!). I know it was later as they booked me in for an ELCS quite soon afterwards. They did offer to turn him for me, but I read up on it and it is highly stressful for the baby and really uncomfortable for the mum, and 50% of babies turn back anyway so I went for the ELCS (had had previous EMCS) He never moved and was bum first.

@PregnantPorcupine no experience of breech (this one was head down at 30 week scan but I do suddenly seem to be getting more lower down movements again so do wonder if they’ve decided to flip back!) but I’m in a Facebook group where they were talking about some exercises that were supposed to help - I’ll see if I can find it for you. Might be the same as you already have but I’ll look. Do you have a birthing ball? They’re supposed to help. I’ve been having a bounce on mine.

Thank you as well, good advice about the MLU. I actually spoke to a midwife from the hospital on Tuesday about my appointment, and then I mentioned about the blood clot thing (consultant had asked me to find out something about my birth mum to see about family history - I’d found out and so was asking her who I should tell) and the whole thing came tumbling out - I actually got a bit teary. She said that the consultant who id seen was a very good doctor but a stickler for the rules, but that not everyone was and that I should ask to speak to the director of the MLU at my next appointment and speak up about my concerns. She thinks as long as I stay well and my remaining scans go ok there’s no reason I can’t at least start there. So I’m going to have to be brave and speak up a bit more when I’m next in on Monday!

So my NIPT failed a 3rd time. 🙈🙄. Was sort of expecting that. They won't do another draw. Gave me a refund but the peace of mind would have been better. Guess I have to be satisfied with the NHS low risk that I got.

I must just be a weird fish. Loads of stuff doesn't work for me so not usual for me! Lol. X

Been shattered this week. Got up for work and then slept on the couch for an hour and then fell asleep again from 4 for 2 hours! Thankfully a very slow work day!

Oh no @Sheera1 it’s that blummin’ unicorn blood of yours.

I only had the nhs test - I didn’t have any clue about harmony or nipt or any of that unt this thread (and feel slightly anxious that I’ve missed something now and the nhs tests weren’t reliable enough?). But I’m sure if the nhs ones said low risk then that’s what you are xx

Ta @aliasgrape. That is exactly what I have just been texting. If I didn't know NIPT existed I would be over the moo with my nhs test. X

A unicorn for sure! 🦄🦄😀

@Sheerer1 sorry to hear that the test has failed again! But I think you can be very reassured by the NHS test. I certainly would be! I didn't have it but was reassured by the NT measurement being totally normal. Xxxx

Oh bloody hell @Sheera1! Still, as frustrating as it is, I would reiterate what Alias and Onlyreading have said - you're NT results were really good so try and be comfortable with that. I can only imagine how annoying it is though.

Re tiredness, I seem to be feeling less tired than usual and no longer need my afternoon naps, but maybe I am in for a second tiredness wave... ?

I had my 16 week midwife appointment yesterday. It was a nice call but basically just form filling and box ticking. I had to fill out my own maternity records. She gave me my blood results and it is so weird because even though the chances of having HIV etc are none existent, I I still went "Oh good!" I think its a bit like when you pass a police officer in the street and you feel guilty even if you've not done anything!

I've got my whooping cough jab this morning then next Weds I have another scan.

Happy Friday everyone! (can't wait for weekend and no work!)

*your not you're

Unicorn blood, that has made me laugh this morning

Hi everyone, may I please join this thread? I know most of you know one another already and I do feel a bit out of place to join so late. I just really need some support and as I've read many of your journeys I feel you will understand my anxiousness best as I'm waiting in limbo for my next scan. I'm 38 and this is my second pregnancy. I had a very relaxed attitude when I had my first 4 years ago but this time around not so much.
As many of you have mentioned once one has been through life's difficulties and realise that pain can be just around the corner it is just so much more difficult to relax. I've been supporting and caring for my younger sister and her family as she is battling choriocarcinoma stage 3. She has 3 girls, the youngest only a 7 month old baby. When I fell pregnant easily this time around I could not believe it as it took us a while with my first pregnancy. From the get go I've been so much more anxious and decided to ask my friend to do an early scan at what I thought was 9 weeks and 2 days/ 9weeks according to lmp.. the baby unfortunately only measured 7weeks 5/6days. I had an abdoninal sonar which I'm not sure if it could have influenced the measurements. (My friend is a very well respected sonographer in the medical field. I worked with her for 7 years.) Baby had an appropriate heartbeat for 7 weeks. She said the sonar is inconclusive and I now have to wait another week to go back and have another sonar. I've decided to stay home since going for the scan 5 days ago and try and relax and rest to give this baby a good fighting chance. The relax bit not easy but at least I'm not driving around and caring for 4 children. I kinda know this pregnancy can go either way.

Welcome to the thread Liese :) Virtual hugs and handheld sent as it sounds like you are in a hard, hard place atm:( I hope that everything turns out well for you and both your sister and your little bean overcome everything in their path x

@Liese27 welcome to the gang! Hope all goes well at your next scan ❤️ xx

Hi Ladies, can I sneak back on? I had my follow up scan after not seeing an embryo five days ago. Today they saw a tiny embryo and heartbeat! Still tiny for dates and that is a worry but whatever happens next there is a heartbeat today!

Now I can back to my old worried of being nearly 42 & having teens and babies at the same time!

Great news @AncientandPregnant !!

Hi @Liese27 welcome to the gang

Thank you @stairgates and @LittleMiss7. Appreciate your warm welcome❤❤

@AncientandPregnant Wow, so happy to hear you have a heartbeat again! My midwife and gynae friend both said to me, a heartbeat is a heartbeat when my mind immediately went to the worst case scenario.

Thank you @Frazzlerock

Hey @AncientandPregnant so glad you're back and doing ok. 10 weeks for me now I am feeling totally rubbish. Wiped out, tender sore tummy all the time, horrible sicky taste in my mouth, sluggish digestion and all the associated joys. Sooo much worse than my pregnancies in my early thirties. Praying that it starts to lift in the next few weeks. Harmony scan for me in the morning. Wish me luck!

@AncientandPregnant that is so nice to hear I was thinking of you ... heart is a heartbeat so that sounds so positive, I know what you mean about the teens and baby my done will be 19 when baby arrives and I'll be 40 when we told him he wasn't amused at all and said why did you do that?? People will think it's mine 🙀 he's come round now. I'm feeling overly exhausted and cannot sleep at all at night want someone to hit me over the head with a pan and I'll sleep 😂

@Liese27 welcome! I’m sorry it sounds like you’re really going through it. I really hope you get good news at the next scan

@AncientandPregnant that’s such fabulous news.

@AuntLucy good luck for tomorrow.

I’ve been in to triage this evening as baby just didn’t seem to want to move all day, no matter what strange positions I tried, cold drinks, eating sugary stuff, loud noises etc. So I phoned and they said to go in for monitoring and of course as soon as the monitor was on the little so and so started doing a jig, and moving normally if not more than. So clearly likes an audience or maybe just to make me look silly. They were happy with everything but said I did the right thing and don’t hesitate to call if I’m worried again.

Welcome, @Liese27 . That does sound tough - I really hope things go well at your next scan and also for your sister too.

@Sheera1 - that is really annoying about your NIPT. Great that your NHS test came back low risk though, especially since that takes into account your age, so the fact that you are "older" and still got a low risk result must mean that your bloods and NT were really good (if that makes sense?).

@AncientandPregnant - fantastic!

@AuntLucy good luck for tomorrow

Sorry if I've missed anyone off. Thanks for the advice re breech. Funnily enough I have had exactly the same day as @AliasGrape - was worried about movements so been hooked up to the monitor but apparently everything's fine - maybe it's just something that happens at
At 33 weeks?! Absolutely knackered now though - we don't have a car and I wanted to avoid public transport so walked to hospital and back which was further than I thought

Goodnight all..

Thanks for all the kind words. I’m On at 5am because apparently being pregnant means I wake at stupid o clock and can’t get back to sleep. Fun.

@PregnantPorcupine my third was breech and the doctor managed to turn him by sort of massaging my stomach. Everyone told me it would hurt but it really didn’t, it was fine.

@Clarkel1 I am glad your teen has come round. My eldest is nearly 14 and she found out because I took a photo of the digital test and it uploaded to iCloud on our family account. Oops. Luckily she was very pleased. I’ve made her swear not to tell the other two who are 11 and 7 and I’ve explained the chance of miscarriage. She told the 11 year old...

@Sheera1 that’s annoying re NIPT. My third had a one in ten chance of Down syndrome from my nuchal and bloods so I had NIPT in a medical trial just as it was introduced to the UK. It gave such reassurance so I’m going to pay to have it this time.

@Liese27 I feel silly saying welcome as I’m so new too. But we can be new together!

Hi all - I’m 42 and currently just over 12 weeks with my second baby, my daughter is 8 years old and very excited.

We made the decision to just keep focussing on the positive and decided against all testing having heard stories of so many people worrying about NHS results or NIPT results and actually everything being fine... I read up so much about both tests and for me it came down to it still only being odds and I read on here somewhere you can be 1 in 4 risk and be one of the three or one in 200 and be that one. Everything is so out of our control across the board so I wanted to just accept that and hope for the best.

I guess for me I just wanted to enjoy this pregnancy after I had 7 MMC in my twenties. I worried so much when having my daughter and really didn’t embrace it at all. I also realised I was never offered any Down’s syndrome tests (to my knowledge) on the NHS with her unless I just refused without realising I had (which is possible as I was on auto pilot)...

Everyone is different but I’m taking the stance ignorance is bliss and that anything obvious would be picked up at 20 week scan health wise.

Keeping fingers crossed for everyone’s pregnancies and babies x

@LJEva

Hi all - I’m 42 and currently just over 12 weeks with my second baby, my daughter is 8 years old and very excited.

We made the decision to just keep focussing on the positive and decided against all testing having heard stories of so many people worrying about NHS results or NIPT results and actually everything being fine... I read up so much about both tests and for me it came down to it still only being odds and I read on here somewhere you can be 1 in 4 risk and be one of the three or one in 200 and be that one. Everything is so out of our control across the board so I wanted to just accept that and hope for the best.

I guess for me I just wanted to enjoy this pregnancy after I had 7 MMC in my twenties. I worried so much when having my daughter and really didn’t embrace it at all. I also realised I was never offered any Down’s syndrome tests (to my knowledge) on the NHS with her unless I just refused without realising I had (which is possible as I was on auto pilot)...

Everyone is different but I’m taking the stance ignorance is bliss and that anything obvious would be picked up at 20 week scan health wise.

Keeping fingers crossed for everyone’s pregnancies and babies x

I also wanted to say that I feel there is more worry from me this time around being older! I keep telling myself it was only 8 years ago I had my daughter but this seem to have changed a lot!

Wow that’s amazing! Congratulations!! X