Thread for us classed as mature pregnant ladies

[Sheera1]

Hi all. I wasn't wanted to hijack any threads on hear with specific questions, but wondered if anyone fancied a chat thread for us classed as mature mums to be? Anyone who feels they fit in that box are welcome to join.

I will start. 🌞

I am 41. I have a 10 year old ds and one mmc 3 yrs ago. New partner is reason for the gap.

I was very shocked when I found out as we had assumed that ship had sailed as no joy since mmc. Head was in that camp and was quite a shock to come out of it.

I am 13 weeks based on my scan later Friday. Awaiting NIPT results hopefully today or tomorrow. Been cautious after mmc but hard to not get so attached as the weeks go by.

My first purchase if all ok will be a pregnancy pillow.

Honestly I feel massive already. I am very overweight but was with ds and had a perfect fuss free pregnancy. This time I am so 🤢 and tired and feel just ill from 4pm onwards.

Instead of it easing up, last night I was still feeling 🤢 trying to sleep and was very uncomfortable due to feeling like my womb is massive.

Anyone else feeling like this? Goodness knows how I will be weeks from now. Eeek.

@fool11 my first was induced and I ended up with an emergency c-section - but he did get stuck as the silly boy was trying to come out ear first, and he was also 9lb 12 so labour was a futile attempt anyway. I also had forceps and the vacuum to no avail.
This one will be a c-section due to having two previous sections.

i'm not that brave @stairgates...they didn't give me anything with my first, nurses ignored me and kept saying it's first, will take hours, wouldn't even give me a gas and air, had contractions every 2-3min (told me to try to sleep), i suffered in silence and they only came in when i screamed that baby is coming out 2.5h later..i thought i'm going to explode, and it was such a horrible experience i'm really scared now. We actually made them to give me a spinal at 10cm, so this time i'm going to make sure i get one, i'm just not good with the pain, must admit. Really scared of instrumental delivery, forceps and the vacuum and 5 years later still suffering from stress incontinence, unfortunately.

@fool1 I am having a planned section. I was induced with ds and it didn't progress, went on for 12 painful hours, they messed up my epidural and gave me a spinal puncture headache which lasted for 2 weeks after birth and I couldn't even sit up without a crushing headache, baby was in distress from the start and could have lost him. Nice planned and hopefully much more stress free planned section happening here and a week early so they say.

@Frazzlerock ta for that link will take a look. It is quite worrying all the se products sold online coming from anywhere (not that I have a problem with that ii is just the safety standards etc). X

@Sheera1 completely overwhelmed with all the baby stuff! I've been buying stuff for weeks, 2nd hand on marketplace etc but when I found out the sex of one of the twins last week, I've been buying clothes daily 😂🙈 it's crazy how much stuff is out there when you start looking! X

Hi everyone, hope you’re all ok. Lovely to see new members. Do we have an updated list? I could try and do one tomorrow.

@fool11 My consultant- well the two I’ve seen, are quite pro induction. All I’ve heard from day one has been they will probably induce me. I don’t want an induction particularly but I’m just taking the growth scans at the moment and seeing how we go. At my first one they said it was a big (90th centile) baby so a bit more ammunition for the induction argument.

Looks like I’m going to be starting clexane next week. @Sheera1 was it you who was saying you have them?

Bit of a convoluted story - I’ve been on aspirin because of age and bmi over 30, so 2 factors for risk of clotting I guess. At my 30 week growth scan/ consultant appointment I asked if I definitely had to go in the delivery suite or could I not go to the adjacent midwife led birth centre. She said delivery suite because I’m 40 remember? And it’s much better so they can monitor the baby continuously etc etc (I don’t particularly want this either again unless it’s medically necessary - my research shows there’s no real evidence it improves outcomes and I don’t want to end up strapped to the bed would far rather be able to move around).

Anyway I explained my concern was that I have a bit of a fear of hospitals due to some traumatic events around my (adoptive) mum’s death. But also because my real/ birth mum died in childbirth. I’m using hypnobirthing and trying so hard to stay positive and calm because of these things, and the more medical things get and the more interventions are talked about as a forgone conclusion, the harder it is for me to stay calm. Anyway the doctor zoned in on the bit about my real mum dying and was questioning me about that, I don’t know the ins and outs really but I do know she was ill as a child and had a stroke at age 10 or so. So the doctor was quizzing me as to whether it was caused by a blood clot, as a family history of blood clotting gives me another risk factor and puts me in the ‘should have taken clexane from 28 weeks’ category. I really don’t know, I did speak to an aunt (now in her 80s bearing in mind this is something that happened 60 years + ago) and she thinks it may have been a blood clot but she’s not sure.

Anyway, lot of waffle there later, but the upshot is a midwife phoned me from the hospital today to rearrange my next appointment (they’d realised they’d made it for 4 weeks instead of 3) and I mentioned what my aunt had said, she went off to speak to the doctor and came back and said they thought on balance it was better to start taking the clexane from next week.

Sorry for the epic post! It’s swirling round my brain a bit just needed to get it out.

@LittleMiss7 With you on buying stuff, we had literally nothing until quite recently but this last week I’ve been on a bit of a spree, my bank account has about 30p left till payday now!

@AliasGrape oh my goodness that sounds like you have had lots to deal with and no wonder you are worried about things.

Yes me who will get klexane from 28 weeks. Someone else on here too is taking them now but my useless brain can't remember stuff at the mo.

If it helps my first birth was in labour ward due to high BMI and there was a birthing ball in there so I didn't have to stick to the bed. I have this weird thing where electric monitors etc don't work round me esp when stressed. It sound bullshit but it is true so nothing worked during labour like the electric blood pressure machines and thermometers and doppler etc and as induced (as signs of fetal distress) they put a thing up me into my sons head to monitor his heartbeat. Sounds yuck but actually gave me sk much more freedom about the room. It was a nice private room with a radio etc but there was a hospital bed. I ended up with an epidural so had to be in the bed at that point. Hope that helps. I u understand your fear but maybe take comfort in the fact you are consultant led and there are midwives in constant attendance. In the midwife suite the seem to check in on you but you are left to it till the end.

@littlemiss7 yes I need to reign myself in. I have yonks to go lol and I am glued to marketplace lol.

@Frazzlerock that link was great btw! Nice to see the current advice and keeps me right. Also helped me get a grip on spend as they are right on the basics.

Thanks for all your warm welcomed ladies. I’ve not been back because we had an early scan and now I’m thinking this isn’t a viable pregnancy.

I thought I was 6+3 and expected to see a heartbeat (internal scan). But all they could see was a gestational sac and no embryo. The sac was the size of 5+3. But I know my dates as we had sex once this month and I got my BFP 12 days after the sex. By their dates I got a BFP 5 days after conception. They were calm and said to return next Thursday but this combined with my utter lack of symptoms makes me feel I know what’s coming. I was very nauseated and exhausted by this stage with my three living children. Nothing now and my boobs aren’t even sore like they were last week.

So I will return to you guys next Thursday if I have a surprise result and am still pregnant. But I just wanted to explain why I posted and then went silent.

Oh @AncientandPregnant I’m sorry that you’re going through this.

I had an early scan at the EPU due to a bleed, think about 6 weeks too. They saw the sac but no foetal pole or heartbeat and I was also sure that was it. The dates were a bit out (we’d also had sex precisely once all month and I knew exactly when I’d ovulated as was tracking, so I was sure on dates). The following week the heartbeat was there.

So there’s still a chance, but I know it’s stressful and worrying. I hope you’re ok and this week goes quickly

@AncientandPregnant really sorry you're going through all this! Good luck! 🤞🏼 for you xx

@AliasGrape & @Sheera1 it's me who's on clexane - I'm 5 days in! My top tip (one I've only just found having been on clexane in 3 pregnancies before this one! 🤦🏽‍♀️) is an ice pack! Numb the area you're going to inject into with an ice pack for about 30s to a minute beforehand. I have a really tiny one that's an ideal size. Stops the injection hurting (doesn't stop the actual stinging afterward but that's not so bad!)

I'm still ill 🤢 and now I just want some movement!!! It's making me so anxious again not having any movement even though it's normal at this stage. I'll feel so much better if I get some!

@AncientandPregnant I so hope everything is okay. It's such an awful and worrying wait xx

@onlyreadingneverposting8 I know what you mean about movement. Now and again (like once every two days maybe) I think I can feel a very light tapping just beneath my belly button which would make sense as baby was head down at our last scan. But I can't be sure and I just want to know its baby and feel them properly for the reassurance.

@AliasGrape..it's good that you are under consultants care and midwifes, they can keep an eye..i'm under consultants led care too, haven't seen my midwife since 16w (now 33w), they/midwifes cancelled all appointments due to covid, and all the check ups are in hospital now. I'm surprised they said no to the midwife birth centre (if no health issues, I'm on aspirin too), i was offered that when i was 40 - preg with my first, but i knew i wanted an epidural, and actually now at 45 they've asked me again if i wanted to to try the midwife led birth centre..i want all the drugs i can get, sorry, i know i sound like a wimp, just really scared of pain.

@AncientandPregnant hope you will hear some good news next week..fingers crossed

@AncientandPregnant I am sorry to hear that. It must be so worrying for you and will be such a long wait. I hope so much there is a heartbeat when they check.

@onlyreadingneverposting8 of course it was you my dear. Man my brain is frazzled. Good tip on the ice. I got them after my section as was bedridden with the spinal puncture headache and don't remember them hurting but I was on a ton of drugs lol. I might try my flabby tummy. Is it a daily injection?

I was feeling movements and the lat few days I haven't really felt them. Def not as pronounced. Starting to worry. Have 16 week call with midwife on Fri (if she actually bloody calls) and wish it was in person so she could check heartbeat.

I think I need to relax and just think that miscarriage at this stage is very uncommon and my NT was low risk and I have had 5 scans total now and it there was a really big issue they would have seen. Like you I am thinking movement will def help with the stressing. X

@Sheera1 I have my 16 week midwife appointment tomorrow and wish so much it was in person so I too could hear the heartbeat. They do so many other things, like taking blood and scanning, surely they can hear the heartbeat for us. I'd have thought reducing anxiety in pregnant mums would be high up there in essential appointments! Mind you, my midwife did say that if I was worried they'd have a listen so I do have that option if I get desperate. Will yours do the same?

I've also got my whooping cough jab on Friday. Do you have yours booked @Sheera1 and @onlyreadingneverposting8?

@onlyreadingneverposting8 @Frazzlerock @Sheera1 I was exactly the same as you guys. I got really upset at the weekend about the lack of movement/symptoms/bump (the little bump I did have seemed to completely disappear Sunday/Monday 🤷‍♀️). Anyhoo, I managed to book a private scan yesterday and it was amazing! My partner was over the moon to finally see our little bubba. Measurements are bang on and he/she was moving around loads but sometimes stopped and stared right at us (little bit freaky tbh 😂). But it was just the reassurance I needed 😊 xx

Oh that is lovely crispaddict. I can see myself booking a private scan between now and my next scan which is 4 weeks on Friday.

@Frazzlerock I think they mentioned whopping cough at my 12 week consultation but heard nothing. Ta for the reminder. Will mention to midwife on Friday. I will ask about heartbeat too and see if she will have a listen in person. Still no NHS letter so I am so glad I called on Monday. I reckon it has gone missing in the post.

@Frazzlerock I got told to have mine between 20 & 30 weeks...will check that I have got that right when the midwife rings me at 18 weeks (she's meant to be to check that I got my consultants appointment and the clexane sorted). With my last I nearly hit the cut off for my whooping cough and didn't get it until 31 weeks - it was the first time I'd had the whooping cough jab and no one had mentioned it!!!

@onlyreadingneverposting8 the leaflet that came in my Bounty pack said from 16 weeks

@Frazzlerock nice to see the midwives are giving out the same info as the leaflets! 🙄 🤣 Thanks for that - I'll get mine booked when I ring up to sort out the getting a repeat prescription for my clexane...the hospital didn't give me the letter I need so I suspect I'll be doing some ringing around - kill two birds and all that!!
You, sheera and I will also have to go back for flu jabs in September won't we?! Mustn't forget that either!! I have enough problem remembering prenatal vitamin, aspirin and my clexane! 🤦🏽‍♀️

ah yes flu jab! you're right. I didn't need one this time as I was pregnant in Dec with our last lost baby and had one then so was covered. But yes I will have another when flu season comes round again!

Haha, I know what you mean, I have my thyroxine, metformin, pre natal vits and also progesterone which I finish tomorrow - hooray!

@AncientandPregnant so sorry to hear this.
Keeping everything crossed for you ❤️ xx

Anyone else fail to get a sex determination from their NIPT? I kinda got my hopes up about finding out whether I was having a boy or a girl. They say in a small percentage of cases they cant accurately determine it. Im not sure exactly why thats the case and it has my mind wondering if theres possibly something bad at the root of it (my actual NIPT results were very low chance for down syndrome etc.).

Hi @evening my NIPT has failed everything twice now. What are they saying about it? X

I followed up with the midwife and she said its nothing to worry about. The way she described it before was that they look for a Y chromosome to know its a boy, and if theres none then its a girl. So who knows what meant they couldnt get an answer. Im none the wiser to be honest.