Pregnant After Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 4

[Avocuddles]

Thread 4 already! New members very welcome to our friendly and supportive team.

Latest roll call....

@Bellsx. 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 22wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 21 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 20wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@MysteriousSheep 12wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 11wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

@Whiffle77 I also ordered a bundle of cheap (but gorgeous) sleep suits on Facebook marketplace today. I ordered 0-3 months and thought that was me covered for the first months, only to be told you have to get 'newborn' size first! Apparently its a common mistake... I dont even know how you dress a baby, its going to be a steep learning curve!

@MOGMOGMOG85 I'm following another thread and clothing sizes is the current topic of conversation. The general advice everyone is given is to skip the new born sizing. A lot of it only does up to 7lb so if baby is bigger than that the clothing is redundant. Seemingly lots of newborn sizing sold out in places too.

@MOGMOGMOG85 I've gone for a small selection of newborn, 5 vests and 5 sleepsuits just in case. I've also bought about 8-12 of each in 0-3. Otherwise I'm not buying clothes, as it tends to be a big thing that's gifted! Two of my friends had babies last year and have both said they'll sort out some neutral stuff for me

Hi ladies,

Sorry for being absent for some time, I've been so busy with work 🤦🏻‍♀️

How are you lovely ladies doing? @Pippop21 I am so, so sorry to hear your news, I hope you and DH look after eachother ❤️

Yeah 27 weeks now and I've been for another appointment, for my whooping cough jab and a scan - Baby is now on the 61 centile and has very long legs (like his daddy! 🤣 DH is 6'4). He is breech though and I'm quite upset about that, I'm so worried he won't turn and I'll have to have a C-section 😭 apparently on 28% of babies are breech by 28 weeks and 10% at full term, so i really hope he turns!!!

Hello everyone
Sorry I have been away for the last week, I found out that I am actually going to be made redundant which has come as a big blow. I thought I would be safe because they essentially don't have to pay me until Sept 2021 as I offered to go straight from furlough to maternity and take my holiday at the end instead of the beginning... I have a consultation meeting next week but they have made it clear all along that they don't have many options. I work in the events industry and everyone is expecting the effects of Covid to last until next summer and the govt support hasn't even come close to covering their bills. I'm gutted, I really liked it there and had put loads of effort in last year setting up a new department that I now won't get to see through.
Also just feeling a bit daunted about the whole redundancy process having never been through it before... trying to find out how many other people are 'at risk' just to make sure it's not pregnancy related, though I don't think it is. I tried citizens advice but they are backed up with a long waiting list for call backs.
Luckily financially nothing will change as I was employed during qualifying week so still get SMP, just added stress at the tail end of maternity leave looking for a new position. Was interesting reading some of your posts about freelance work though, I have done some transcribing at a temp job before and quite enjoyed it, I felt like a spy listening in on confidential meetings 😊

If anyone else was struggling for baby clothes, M&S have restocked a lot on their website and I’ve finally managed to get vest and sleep suit packs x

@TunnocksTcake they have to offer you any suitable alternative roles. Worth an informal discussion with ACAS. It may be that there are none due to the nature of your work, and while they can make you redundant if there is no option there are really strict rules about making someone redundant while they are pregnant or on ML x

@SunStruck try not to worry about position yet, baby still has loads of room to move around, goblin was head down yesterday at my scan but had definitely moved back to transverse by last night (I only know because of where the kicks are).

@TunnocksTcake I'm so sorry about your job, that can't be easy. Maternity Action might be able to give you some support and advice?

@Littlegoth I tried M&S (I only want white which I think is becoming awkward) and they sold out between me putting things in my basket and logging in to pay 😂🙈. I did however manage to get some through Next online, so I feel like at least the goblin has some clothes 😂

@SunStruck when I was pregnant with Isla I went to pregnancy yoga and we talked a bit about breach babies. The instructor suggested looking at the Spinning Babies website which I think has positions and manipulations you can try to get baby to move. I never used it myself but heard good things about it.

I have a call this morning to discuss birth options with the hospital. I'm 99% certain I want a c section as we lost Isla during labour so even with a very controlled monitored induction I don't think I can mentally cope with labour again. But hopefully I'll get all the pros and risks for each option so I can make a final decision.

Thanks @Littlegoth and @Knotemma I hadn't thought of acas, will try them. Maternity action are very hard to get through to but will keep trying.
I think they are making all redundant in roles that would be suitable for me- it's a small company so there are only 3/4 other people's jobs I could do, but as we aren't at work and chatting in the office I don't know if this is true... am I allowed to ask who else they are making redundant? Going to try and do some digging through my line manager but don't want to put him in a difficult position. It's so tricky!

@TunnocksTcake I would maybe ask it as what roles are being made redundant, rather than "who"... That way you're not asking if "Jim" is getting made redundant, just which jobs are going if that makes sense? Hopefully that will make your line manager feel more comfortable about discussing it, though through consultation I'm pretty sure they have to be transparent about which roles are going. Fingers crossed you can get some more information

@Shefliesonherownwings hope your call goes well. I’m terrified of labour again this time, knowing the outcome last time was tough but we did actually have a really lovely experience surprisingly, last night I had a dream About it and I couldn’t walk past the butterfly suite I just froze. I think I’ll be so obsessed with monitoring this time as we opted not to have any with Lily. Whatever you decide, I’m sure it’ll be the right decision as it’s completely yours. I hope you get the experience you want.

In terms of clothes, I have FAR too many 🙈 I find it quite therapeutic buying clothes for him when I’m feeling anxious as it makes it ‘real’. We’ve just parted with all of Lily’s clothes that she didn’t get to wear (3 bags full!) which was really hard but I’m glad we did it. Baby boy has everything up to 6 months 😬😂

I've just found out everyone at the company has been given the same letter so there may be hope yet if I can convince them it's better to keep me on. Financially, at least immediately I certainly think it makes sense as they still have to pay maternity so actually redundancy would cost more but we will see...

@TunnocksTcake so sorry to hear about the redundancy. What a worry for you on top of everything else

@Shefliesonherownwings good luck with the call. I understand how you feel so I hope they let you choose. Who would say no to you honestly?!

As for clothes I want a few newborn unisex ass we aren't finding out the sex. I've already bought some white ones from
John Lewis but I'd like some bright things but I think they are hard to come by for unisex.
If the baby is a girl we can recycle what we have. If it's a boy... I'll be hitting John Lewis online like a mad thing. I sound like I'm well off and only shop there but my eldest daughter works there part time so I have discount.

@TunnocksTcake sorry you have this redundancy worry on top of being pregnant and all that brings with it. Hopefully they will see that paying you maternity is more cost effective than making you redundant. Fingers crossed for you.

Had a lovely call this morning. It is so helpful when new people already know my history so I don't have to explain anything. The midwife was brilliant, just told me that whatever I want they will 100% support me and they will do everything they can to make the birth the experience I want. We talked a lot about c sections and i'm feeling more positive about it now. She said planned ones are more relaxed, we can have music if we want during the op and skin to skin straight away too. I'm pretty much decided on that now.

She was also so reassuring about calling into triage with any concerns and gave me her direct number. After my little wobble on Saturday about movements it was nice to hear that if I call in I will be taken very seriously and prioritised due to my history. I know I need to be selfish but I was still thinking whether it was worth calling in. Thankfully this little bean started moving loads but good to know next time I need to stop worrying about anyone else and just give them a call.

Hope everyone else is doing ok. x

Great news @Shefliesonherownwings lovely to hear they are listening to you.
My scan went well today so just waiting for bloods now.

Morning lovelies, hope you are all doing well today...I am starting to get hang of the blood testing now (had a few hiccups at first but it's getting easier - other than fact they've only given me enough to last until Saturday so hubby is now going to doctors for me to try get more sorted). On the positive side, I get more scans so will get to see baby girl again soon 🥰 also they apparently tend to try get you to deliver between 37 and 39 weeks so she could be here as soon as 8 weeks time eeek

Updating my weeks 😄
@Bellsx 31wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 31wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ -SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 28 wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 29wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 28 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 27wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 27 wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 27 wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 27wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 27wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣- GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 27wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 26wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 24wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 23wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23 weeks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 20wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 20wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 18wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 17wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 9weeks (due 16/01/21)

@TunnocksTcake sorry to hear about your redundancy 🥺 hopefully you can turn it around! Fingers crossed and keep us updated ❤️

@Shefliesonherownwings lovely you'll get the birth you want - and that they will do everything to make sure you'll relaxed and comfortable! I'll look into spinning babies :)

@Knotemma thanks for your support, yes I hope he'll move soon 🤣 at least I know why I need to pee all the time now, he's kicking my bladder every night!

@Avocuddles hey how are you? I hope you're feeling good! ❤️ sorry just catching up on all the messages! Sorry to hear about how your mum is feeling, I understand this - we obviously live abroad and now with Covid my mum has missed my entire pregnancy too (I was supposed to go back home for a few weeks in June!). It's hard for everyone 😔 we just need to use technology and FaceTime/Skype a lot so they feel more involved! I also call her to tell her about every appointment and what the Dr said etc.

Have everyone at 27/28 weeks had their whooping cough jab yet? I had that today and the glucose test, no diabetes thank God (I was more worried about having to cut back on chocolate - I'm obsessed atm! 🤣).

@SammiLou2312 sorry to hear about your diabetes! What is the plan for action they say? And is your baby measuring big due to that?

My next appointment is at 31 weeks!

@SunStruck for the next week I need to do my blood checks 4 times a day and change my diet to minimise sugar and carbs. Will speak to the diabetes team next Wednesday to discuss my results for the week, then they can decide if I need medication in tablets/insulin or if I can just try to keep it under control by diet. Apparently I will need to have another scan in the next week and half to check babies size and they will keep monitoring that over next few weeks. From what I've read (they sent loads of guidance and video links with my testing kit) there is a high chance of her getting too big too quick and possibility of placenta deterioration so they tend to try induce delivery early to be safe. Will know more in next couple weeks hopefully x

Time to update again... 33 weeks, thats less than 50 days 😲 its all getting very real! Especially with the gallstone issue and the possibility of being induced. Think we are planning to get the pram and car seat out of the boxes at the weekend and start getting ready!

@Bellsx 33wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 33wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ -SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 28 wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 29wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 28 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 27wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 27 wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 27 wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 27wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 27wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣- GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 27wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 26wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 24wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 23wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23 weeks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 20wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 20wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 18wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 17wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 9weeks (due 16/01/21)

@Bellsx 33wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 33wks (due 20/08/20)⁣ -SURPRISE
@Hoping2020 28 wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 29wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 28 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣- SURPRISE
@LilMrsS 27wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 27 wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 27 wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 27wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 27wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣- GIRL & BOY
@SunStruck 27wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 26wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 27wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 26wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣ GIRL
@tmc14 24wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 23wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 23 weeks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 20wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 20wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 18wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 18wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 17wks (due 05/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow 12 wks (due 10/01/21)

Hi all! Thanks for your kind words and suggestions re distance from my family. I had a nice chat with my mum last night (without mentioning what my sister had told me) which I think made us both feel a lot better, talking about the future and things we can hopefully look forward to if and when the COVID situation is over.

@rachelrainbow glad your scan went well. I've been like you and keep thinking that the next milestone will be the one which quells my anxiety, but that's definitely not happened yet and I'm almost 28 weeks (which incidentally is my next milestone....). Thank goodness we've got this group to help us through...

@Knotemma cute scan photo! I'm looking forward to my first growth scan next week, mostly because I'm hoping it might calm my nerves a bit, the scanxiety is rearing it's head again but I'm feeling plenty of movement so trying to reassure myself with that. Changing bag was a bargain - I've got a M&P one which came bundled with my pram but it's not as nice as yours. Re white babygros I got a couple of great value packs from Ocado - seemed to be one of the very few places to have small sizes in stock at the time.

@footprintsintheslow glad your scan went well, and have to say that I really love your rainbow blanket, beautiful and meaningful. I look forward to seeing a picture of your baby in it in about 6 months time! I'm envious of your JL discount - I get discount at ASDA which although practical isn't quite as exciting!

@MOGMOGMOG85 I've got a small amount of newborn size clothing but keeping it minimal - our niece (born two weeks ago) grew out of newborn size within a couple of days and wasn't a particularly big baby!

@SunStruck hopefully plenty of time for your baby to spin around yet. I'm pretty sure mine is either breech or transverse based on where I'm feeling movements, but guess I'll find out next week...

@TunnocksTcake sorry to hear about your job situation though glad your mat pay won't be affected. I'd echo those who say to look into your rights though appreciate that in a very small organisation your options may be more limited. I have two friends currently on mat leave who have completely re-evaluated their careers and will be returning to new jobs soon - it must be gutting to lose a job that you've loved but hopefully an equally enjoyable (if not better) new door will open to you.

@Shefliesonherownwings so glad your call this morning was a positive experience and that you should be able to have the birth experience you want.

@Rachael321 @SammiLou2312 not long to go now! I'm really looking forward to when the first babies arrive on this group - those of us who've been here from the start really have come such a long way, and it gives hope to everyone here that we can have positive outcomes no matter what our histories.

Hi all! Thanks for your kind words and suggestions re distance from my family. I had a nice chat with my mum last night (without mentioning what my sister had told me) which I think made us both feel a lot better, talking about the future and things we can hopefully look forward to if and when the COVID situation is over.

@rachelrainbow glad your scan went well. I've been like you and keep thinking that the next milestone will be the one which quells my anxiety, but that's definitely not happened yet and I'm almost 28 weeks (which incidentally is my next milestone....). Thank goodness we've got this group to help us through...

@Knotemma cute scan photo! I'm looking forward to my first growth scan next week, mostly because I'm hoping it might calm my nerves a bit, the scanxiety is rearing it's head again but I'm feeling plenty of movement so trying to reassure myself with that. Changing bag was a bargain - I've got a M&P one which came bundled with my pram but it's not as nice as yours. Re white babygros I got a couple of great value packs from Ocado - seemed to be one of the very few places to have small sizes in stock at the time.

@footprintsintheslow glad your scan went well, and have to say that I really love your rainbow blanket, beautiful and meaningful. I look forward to seeing a picture of your baby in it in about 6 months time! I'm envious of your JL discount - I get discount at ASDA which although practical isn't quite as exciting!

@MOGMOGMOG85 I've got a small amount of newborn size clothing but keeping it minimal - our niece (born two weeks ago) grew out of newborn size within a couple of days and wasn't a particularly big baby!

@SunStruck hopefully plenty of time for your baby to spin around yet. I'm pretty sure mine is either breech or transverse based on where I'm feeling movements, but guess I'll find out next week...

@TunnocksTcake sorry to hear about your job situation though glad your mat pay won't be affected. I'd echo those who say to look into your rights though appreciate that in a very small organisation your options may be more limited. I have two friends currently on mat leave who have completely re-evaluated their careers and will be returning to new jobs soon - it must be gutting to lose a job that you've loved but hopefully an equally enjoyable (if not better) new door will open to you.

@Shefliesonherownwings so glad your call this morning was a positive experience and that you should be able to have the birth experience you want.

@Rachael321 @SammiLou2312 not long to go now! I'm really looking forward to when the first babies arrive on this group - those of us who've been here from the start really have come such a long way, and it gives hope to everyone here that we can have positive outcomes no matter what our histories.

@Shefliesonherownwings that is so good to hear that you are getting proper personalised care and that you will be able to have the birth experience that feels right for you. I am also planning (atm) an elective caesarean and kind of looking forward to it.

@SammiLou2312 I have type 1 diabetes so can sympathise with the blood sugar testing etc. Gestational diabetes quite different in lots of ways, and hopefully you can manage it with diet, but sometimes that insulin resistance in pregnancy is just too much and you do need medication... if so I am sure you will manage that fine as well. The plus side of any diabetes in pregnancy is the extra scans and monitoring that you get, as you mentioned! Best of luck with it all, it is a right pain but manageable.