Pregnant After Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 4

[Avocuddles]

Thread 4 already! New members very welcome to our friendly and supportive team.

Latest roll call....

@Bellsx. 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 26wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 22wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 21 wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 20wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 20wks 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 20wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 20wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 20wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 14wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@MysteriousSheep 12wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 11wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 10wks (due 09/12/20)

@footprintsintheslow good luck for your scan today, lots of positive thoughts for you xx

@MummyMilla I would second @Knotemma and say there could be reasons such as testing at different times of the days, drinking more fluids etc that could affect test results so early. My tests in first few weeks were all over the place, think I only got consistently strong positive lines about 6/7 weeks and I'm 14 weeks now 😀

Fingers crossed everything is fine but maybe worth a chat with your GP?

@Knotemma and @MrsG3 thank you for replies. I know that it's never a true measure based on the fact that my miscarriage started the day that I'd had a really strong line! I'm just so terrible with not knowing what's going on. Guess I'll try again tomorrow am just prepare myself for the worst I think.

@MummyMilla it's so difficult, I'm of the mindset of keeping a positive mindset, but I know that isn't for everyone

Updating my weeks 🥰

@Bellsx 27wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 27wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 24wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 23 wks⁣ (surprise due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 22wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 22wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 22wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 22wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 22wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 22wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 22wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 21wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 21wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 20wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 20wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 16wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@MrsG3 14wks (due 16/11/20)
@MysteriousSheep 14wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 13wks (due 02/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 12wks (due 09/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow* 6 weeks (due 16/01/21)

So sorry for not being around much lately. Having real issues sleeping atm and am struggling with work so by the time I have finished work I'm usually having my team and then crashing for the night...brain is all over the place atm. Hope everyone is doing ok x

@MummyMilla I hope things settle down for you...I would recommend testing first thing on a morning as your pee is stronger then and like others have suggested maybe speak to your doctor for clarification if you are still getting random results. Good luck x

Guess who has finished work now until April...

Work were no help at all and not accommodating and there was next to no discussion!

Also time to update weeks...

Bloody 3rd trimester now!!! 28 weeks

@Bellsx 28wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 28wks (due 20/08/20 -surprise)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 24wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Knotemma 23 wks⁣ (surprise due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 21wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 22wks - Girl (26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 22wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@avocuddles 22wks (due 27/09/20)⁣ - GIRL
@Sunflower1608 22wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 22wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 22wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 22wks (due 30/09/20)⁣ BOY
@HighHopes20 21wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 21wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 20wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 20wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 18wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@rachelrainbow 17wks (due 28/10/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 16wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@MrsG3 14wks (due 16/11/20)
@MysteriousSheep 14wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 13wks (due 02/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 12wks (due 09/12/20)
@footprintsintheslow* 6 weeks (due 16/01/21

Wow @Rachael321 that's unbelievable!! I can't believe they were so unhelpful!! So I'm assuming you've had to take maternity leave early??

@AnxiousLady1 I didn't HAVE to. They wanted to change my role slightly and i wasnt comfortable with it. So I'm using holidays and starting mat leave earlier than planned by about 6 weeks. Was getti g myself stressed out about it and thought it's not worth it, we will make ends meet somehow

@Rachael321 while it's not ideal having to start early at least it takes all the pressure off from the point of view of work. And when you are due to go back they'll have no choice but to bring you properly up to speed!

Ahhh sorry they have been so awful @Rachael321 that's rubbish! Will you go back after your mat leave?
No point adding extra stress on yourself, some time out before the baby comes is probably a good thing too. Crazy that you have finished immediately though! At least the weather is fab

@Rachael321 that was an abrupt outcome then! Enjoy the weather and make sure you buy lottery tickets and then you'll never have to go back.

Forgot to add that my scan went well today. Saw the tiny shape shifting heart beat.

Also I need a moan about my consultant that I saw last week. I've been mulling this over since then. I went in to see the consultant and she opened the conversation with "I don't know why you are here, you haven't even booked in with a midwife so you'll have to go home?" (They has called me in for the scan). The when she read my notes she said oh ok I see you lost your baby at 20'weeks I could scan you then and look at the neck of the womb length I suppose. The she said you could have progesterone if you want. I asked what she thought about that and she said "take it or don't take it, it makes no difference to me". Then she gave me a prescription for it and that was that, she told me to leave.
I just feel like she didn't care at all and she had zero people skills. She spoke to the health care assistants like dirt.

I googled her when I got home and found that she works in a private hospital too and she's got rave reviews for being patient and caring. I've met her about 5 times and she's just vile every time. I think I'm going to ask her to pretend I'm a private client so I can have the wonderful version of her.

Anyway in that miscarriage book I've been reading it totally discredited progesterone for people in my circumstances. I know it's great for some. The nurse I spoke to today in epu usually works in the recurrent miscarriage clinic and she talked me through everything and agrees neither progesterone nor asprin is for me. Even though my midwife is saying unofficially saying to take that. I hate getting all this conflicting advice.

@footprintsintheslow congrats on the positive scan result...on the other hand I am so sorry to hear about the way you were spoken to / treated by your consultant. I can't believe the way they were with you...is there any way you can ask to see someone else?

@footprintsintheslow that's appalling. I'd honestly be making a complaint, it's literally her job to know why you're there. Seriously that makes me so angry. I'd also be tempted to ask her if she treats all her NHS patients so badly, preferably in front of as many people as possible. I'm so pleased you had a good scan, seeing that little flickery heartbeat is an amazing feeling.

I've been really struggling to feel like I'm drinking enough, because too much liquid tends to trigger my sickness. I discovered on Tuesday however that a nice thick fruit smoothie stays put. As a result I've managed to get more fruit and veg into my diet in the past 3 days than I've had in literally months. I can't believe how much better I feel for it, haven't been sick since Monday night! 3 massive smoothies a day is also definitely helping get my digestion back on track too, which is a big deal. So for anyone struggling with nausea I'd recommend trying it, even if you just buy a little bottle of innocent or something to try out. I've made some milk/kefir (a probiotic) based and some juice based, because I'm trying not to overdo diary due to my reflux. Can't believe the difference in how I feel in 3 bloody days!

Thanks @SammiLou2312 and @Knotemma I'm considering changing to the other hospital in our health board. But I also want to stand up to her next time. I'm torn about what to do.
She's my consultant because I have an Underactive thyroid and when I went to see her to go through the post mortem results of our daughter I said I had some questions about my thyroid and she said "you'll have to ask your GP, I don't really know anything about thyroids". It was only afterwards that I thought bloody hell you are not the consultant for me then. But again I only thought of this afterwards.

Also @Knotemma I'm a big fan of smoothies so think I'll make a batch. I normally put kale in mine as you can't taste it but it must be super healthy having raw kale 🥬 I'm happy to try anything for the nausea. I've been finding juicy fruit really good like watermelon 🍉

@footprintsintheslow I've been throwing in a handful of baby spinach, didn't think about kale... I hate it cooked but it's so good for you I might try hiding some in a smoothie 😂. I've been going for lots of mango and water melon as well as frozen fruit. Think I'm going to have a trip to Aldi or Lidl, they usually have big bags of froze frit for smoothies quite cheap.

Honestly your consultant sound like a real piece of work! I only had a phone consultation with mine (I was referred because we'd had 3 consecutive early losses) and she was lovely, was very happy with my general health etc and felt it was best to arrange some growth scans but for me to remain under midwife care, especially in the current situation, which I thought seemed reasonable. I've had run ins with doctors with a similar attitude to patient care before and it's so unacceptable! You shouldn't have to feel like you have to stand up for yourself. Honestly it makes me so angry. I've had experience with consultants who do private and NHS care from both sides (I actually saw both of them through both routes) when I had concerns over a neurological issue and with gastric concerns. I started seeing both privately as I was covered under insurance at the time and then moved over to NHS when the private cover ran out. They were equally brilliant in the posh private hospital and the NHS one, which is how it should be! I hope you manage to get sorted so you don't have to deal with her again

Just to post a quick update - I've tested again this morning and got a faint positive first time (similar to yesterday's and the same as last week). I am up 2-3 times a night weeing, and so I wonder whether the concentration levels are just not building up enough yet?

@MummyMilla how far past your period due date are you? Could it be that it is still really early days? They recommend early morning pee as it's more concentrated but if you are up a number of times during the night that may have an impact...personally I preferred to use digital tests than the line sticks as I just found them easier to read and get a definitive answer but they are expensive. I would still suggest speaking to your doctor if you are getting different results to be on the safe side x

@sammilou2312 I am now 10 days past my period date.

I'm about to pop in to town so will grab a digital one and do that tomorrow morning. These are just the cheap HCG strips from amazon. Two months ago when I had the MC they were showing a mega strong line (similar to the control line) on the day that my MC started. So I guess that's what's worrying me - but who knows?

@MummyMilla sounds like trying a different test might be helpful but also you could consider the epu as they can measure HCG properly over 48 hours. But I don't know if they'd test at this point. Really hope you get some clarity soon and I hope that it's positive for you.

I've just had my 20 week scan, pleased to say all is ok! They initially took me into the room where I found out I'd lost my first pregnancy, got very anxious quite quickly as it brought back too many sad memories and obviously I was on my own due to COVID. They very kindly moved me to do the scan in another room when I explained. Baby is a wriggly so and so, wasn't playing ball but they managed to get the scans they needed and all seems to be ok for now ☺️

@Hagsterthats brilliant news! We all love to hear about a wriggly baby and a good scan. I'm pleased that they listened to your concerns about getting upset and let you move to a different room x

@footprintsintheslow that is truly awful! Have you had any benefit our of seeing her at all? If not, I would be leaning towards making a complaint too. I get everybody has bad days, but if it has happened a few times then that's not ok. You are spending time going to see her because she is meant to be the expert, she should be there to help!
Great news about the scan @Hagster hope you are feeling good after it

Fantastic news @hagster xx

@footprintsintheslow that is awful. If you have the energy to make a complaint you should. But I know that takes a lot of effort you may not have. Don’t see it as needing to stand up to her, just request a different consultant explaining why. You need to feel supported, not in battle xx

I’ve been having bad anxiety for a few days. My 20 week scan last weekend was fine, but I’ve got niggles about my maternal Doppler score. My mean PI was 1.26, so below the 1.45 cut off for flagging potential issues, but is still high on the centiles... so I’m a bit paranoid now about my placenta. Being 40 is a risk factor (apart from that I’m healthy), and all indicators would mean a larger than average baby for me (previous large baby, height, weight, family birth weights etc) But she’s measuring on the small side of average, & with the high PI I’m now worried she’s not growing enough & there will be issues later on. I think I need to chill the hell out but There’s always something isn’t there?!

@tmc14 I'm sorry you're feeling particularly anxious at the moment. Excuse my ignorance but I don't have a clue what a maternal Doppler score is. I'd hope that everything is fine if it hasn't been flagged otherwise but always worth giving your midwife or consultant a call to talk through your concerns and hopefully get some reassurance?
In my area we're not given ANY measurements, percentiles or scores at or after the 20 week scan, just told if everything is normal (or not). I found this a bit frustrating and raised it with my midwife who just said that it's trust policy, I guess the plus side is that without any 'data' there are fewer things to google or worry about. I have a growth scan in early July so might get a bit more detail then - or not, as the case may be....

I've just bought (though not started reading yet) a book called 'Mind Over Mother' as it was recommended as a must read for women like us who suffer with overwhelming anxiety at times. It's written by a psychotherapist and aimed at women with newborns but I think will be a helpful read during pregnancy too - I'll let you know how I get on but might be worth looking into as it is apparently filled with clinically based techniques that can be applicable in all areas of life....

@Hagster am glad your scan went well and that they were kind and understanding. Over halfway there now!

@MummyMilla im sorry you've had such a stressful and confusing time. I hope you get a clearer result today, it's so hard when things are inconclusive.

@footprintsintheslow your consultant sounds appalling, you should definitely stand up to her next time and consider raising an official complaint if her attitude remains the same. I'm lucky, mine isn't the most talkative in the world but he generally seems nice and is patient when I bring a long list of questions to my appointment....

I can't recall who mentioned yoga / birth balls but does anyone have any recommendations of where to get one / which one to buy? I'm only just over five foot tall if that makes a difference?