November 2020 Babies - Thread 6!

[BuffaloCauliflower]

New thread for the November 2020 club - looking forward to more scan pictures!

Anyone else doing or thinking of doing shared parental leave? My current thinking is I will do the first 6 months, go back to work for 3 months and then take the last 3 months. But I honestly don't know!

I’ve just eaten as normal throughout this pregnancy, even when I had horrible morning sickness! I’ve gone off sweets things and junk food so have been eating really healthily (though a fair amount of bread!) but feel like I’ve probably still put on loads of weight. Don’t have scales at home so don’t know! I was on steroids for the first 12 weeks and weight gain is the main side effect so wouldn’t be surprised 😭. I’m getting a bit of a bump now but feel like I look fat and gross which is getting me down a bit. At least don’t have to see anyone!

@FilthyforFirth I’d love to do this but DH is self-employed so not eligible. Not sure what your job is but consider how disruptive it might be to go back for a short period and then go off again. My employer would hate that! Some friends are doing it and the guy is taking the first month that the baby is born (with his wife obvs), then he’s got the baby for months 8-12 but the first month of that they’re off together so he’s got a month long handover. Seems like a great arrangement to me!

Scan went well here and EDD 30th Nov, so just scraping into November!

Glad to see the other scans today have gone well!

@FilthyforFirth We did shared parental with number 1 and plan to do it with number 2 as well. I was a bit sneaky/lucky tbh. I was off until 4 months, OH did 4-6 months then I went back off 6-9 months. Legally your employer doesn't have to agree to discontinuous leave (i.e. going back in then off again) however I was officially on maternity leave until 4 months, then when I handed the notice in that I was switching to SPL the only thing on there was one block of leave for OH and one block of leave for me. My dept level bosses attempted to reject it, however the HR dept advised them that they couldn't reject it as it wasn't discontinuous - this gave me great glee as the fuckers chose not to replace me whilst I was off and I went back and was expected to do all the same work just in less time. This time I'm telling them that I'm taking the full 12 months and they'll get the legal 8 weeks notice that I'll be going back early.

My scan seemed to go well. She didn't tell me the NT measurement but said everything looks normal when I asked so hopefully all is fine (bit worried as I was 36 when conceived and 37 now).

The baby was a jumpy little thing, doing somersaults and all sorts. She let me make a little video for DH which he was delighted about. Strange to think baby is jumping around so much but I can't feel it yet! She confirmed my due date for 26th November

@FilthyforFirth

I think shared parental leave is a brilliant idea. We are still discussing/negotiating what we will do for the first year but I hope he takes at least 1 month of parental leave (with me back at work). I think its great for father baby bonding. I also think it will be good to stop me being too overbearing about how things should be done.

I will probably take my first 6 months full pay mat leave and then maybe some time either at SMP or no pay (depending on how much shared parental leave he takes).

Think the post above may be spam!

@FilthyforFirth We're thinking of both being off for the first 3 months as he gets generous shared parental pay and then I'll be off for the remaining 6 months. We might change that so he takes 6 weeks straight away and then another 6 weeks later on, but we'll definitely be sharing the leave somehow so that I get 9 months off and gets 3.

Does anyone else know what they are having yet? We are having our gender scan tomorrow can't wait 😬

@LozEliza I found out a few weeks ago via the harmony test that we’re having a girl. Already have a boy and DH was desperate for a girl so he’s delighted. I had no preference and it feels weird to know already as we didn’t find out last time!

@Pinktruffle I had a report in my blue folder after my scan which told me the NT measurement. May be worth a look if you're worried.

I suggested parental leave to my husband when we had our first as I earn more so made sense financially but staying at home full time is not his idea of fun whereas I really wanted to. I'm not even going to suggest it this time

@LozEliza hope it goes well! I am going to get a gender scan at 16 weeks (so it about 10-14 days) really looking forward to it! Xx

@LozEliza good luck for your gender scan tomorrow! We're finding out too - booked in June. They said from 16 weeks which is next week but we've went for 19 so hopefully things will be a bit more obvious 😂

Thanks @NatalieH2220. I checked my paperwork and there is no information on any of it, it's all just generic literature.
I did ask her if it looked normal and she said yes, but she measured it 3 times so it worried me a little - I hear her mutter .5 under her breath but didn't get the whole number. I should probably stop worrying and just wait for the paperwork to come through!

@Pinktruffle They checked mine 3 times too just to make sure it was accurate. The first reading wasn't too clear so she did two others to check they were similar. She did the same when working out my dates too.

Thanks @NatalieH2220 that's really reassuring! It's amazing how over anxious you get in pregnancy, normally I'm sure I would just assume it's a double check. She also said everything was normal when I asked specifically about the NT and it would be really unethical for her to lie but my brain is still getting over excited!

@HarrietM87 ahh so pleased for you nice to find out to early too!

@anon5555 eekk exciting I'll be 1 day off 16 weeks

@wannabebump ahh you've got a lot of will power! At least lock down might be a bit more relaxed then. We are sharing ours with family over Zoom.

@HarrietM87 so early* I mean

@Pinktruffle yes don't worry they checked mine at least 3 times! I think they average them - same with the length of the baby to get an accurate date. At one point baby was upside down and facing the floor and was measuring 6 extra days ahead but she said they often measure big upside down so she got it to flip then was more accurate with my dates!

@Pinktruffle they did 3 measurements of mine as well, then took the average and that was what was written on my scan report. The report is on a fawn coloured piece of paper sellotaped into my notes.

They look at your age, NT measurement and bloods to work out your risk, so the sonographers tend to be very non-committal about the results.

Good luck tomorrow @LozEliza.

Has everyone had their dating scan now? Would it be worth us doing a separate thread just to keep track of due dates and sex if we are finding out?

We had tea at 5.30, meatballs and pasta with veg, so a nice healthy balanced meal, and all I've been thinking about since is cheesy, gooey, hot pepperoni pizza... On one hand it's nice to finally have my appetite back, but it's a good thing we only get shopping delivered once a week or else I'd be the size of a house before long if I could pop to the shop and indulge my cravings!

@LozEliza we also needed it to be a Sunday incase DH is back to work at a days notice, otherwise I'd have been right along there next week! X

Morning,
Since last night I've had a bad headache above my left, went to bed early and have woken up with it but worse. Any tips for headaches during second trimester? I wanted to avoid paracetamol ideally

Should also say I'm drinking enough water, sleeping well, eating well, just can't seem to ease it up and it's my birthday weekend and don't want to spend it in bed :( maybe I should just take the paracetamol and move on!!