November 2020 Babies - Thread 6!

[BuffaloCauliflower]

New thread for the November 2020 club - looking forward to more scan pictures!

Good luck with all the scans today!!

@Crispaddict99 3 months full, 3 months half, SMP

@Addler my App has updated my due date but has zero info from my scan (3 weeks ago) on it... just a few minor details from my booking appointment...

@Wise0wl I think I’m going to wait until 20 weeks and just say that I wanted to make sure everything was ok. If they try to make me come into the office before then I might tell them. I’d like to have my bonus confirmed before then too! Pay reviews have been delayed until they autumn due to covid so unfortunately can’t wait that long to tell them! I’ll probably take 10-12 months off.

I’d recommend not firming up your return date until after the baby is born if possible. I planned to come back 6 months after I’d had my first but turned out to be impossible - he was still bf round the clock (and continuing to do that turned out to be more important to me than I anticipated) and his sleep was shocking so I couldn’t have functioned during the day. I extended my leave and took a year in the end but it would have caused much less disruption if I’d just waited before confirming a return date. You’re not obliged to confirm a date until 8 weeks before it I think.

@Crispaddict99 I’m really lucky - get 6 months full pay plus 3 months statutory.

Good luck to those with scans today! Let us know how they go 🙂

I get 100% pay for 12 weeks followed by SMP so similar to you @Crispaddict99

@seventhrow I haven't put any weight on. I actually lost a couple of kg even after my booking appointment. I'm a little worried about it but tbh I haven't really changed my eating habits. Maybe I'm eating less because of a bit of residual nausea at times throughout the day but I'm not too worried yet as baby is so small at 16 weeks.

@HarrietM87 thank you, that’s really helpful, I didn’t realise I had so long to confirm with work!

@seventhrow I was equally concerned about the weight gain a couple of weeks ago and discussed it on another MN thread. What I realised from that was:

1. There really isn't any prescribed weekly weight gain that applies to all pregnancies, so some of the information out there is misleading.
2. Some midwives don't even bother to weigh you. They just measure your bump.
3. A lot of weight gain is after the 20 week mark or into the third trimester.
4. I had responses from loads of women who had lost weight due to MS and not gained anything by time their 20 week scan came. When they went to these scans they were assured not to worry and all considered normal.
5. Some will simply measure their bump at home rather than weight gain.

You'll see loads of women out there (for example people who were very petite or fit beforehand) who seem to not even look pregnant well up to the 6 month mark. So I wouldn't worry. I've looked into it enough to feel assured. Once you continue to eat well and not reduce your meals/diet you'll be fine. Think of all the poor people with HG that end up losing weight in pregnancy and have perfectly healthy sized babies. x

Thanks for your replies. I'll take back what I said. In my naive mind, I thought we'd get full pay for longer. I've worked for my employer for 23 years but I'd never looked at the maternity package before because I never believed I'd be lucky enough to get pregnant. But hey ho, we'll make it work, as everyone does! xx

Has anyone had their 16 week appointment over the phone yet? Did you need to drop in a urine sample or anything?
I'm conscious that without seeing in person they won't be checking urine/blood pressure etc as much as they would normally?

@MillieFTM mine is over the phone, but not til I’ll be 18 weeks! All subsequent appointments will be in person. I had bloods and urine done at 12 week scan (I was actually almost 14 weeks) and asked about missing the tests at 16 weeks. They said they would be testing anyone with risk factors but for most women it’s safer to avoid hospital environment now than have those checks done.

Mine is 13 weeks full pay, 13 weeks half pay, 13 weeks SMP.
Im a nurse in private healthcare- spoke to my manager yesterday and some of my team are back to work on 1st June but I'll be on furlough for the foreseeable as she doesn't want me lone working with patients... then based on the current guidance that I couldn't be patient facing after 28 weeks, I might not make it back at all until after maternity leave next August!! Bizarre. I can manage on 80% pay but all the uncertainty is definitely something I could do without.

@seventhrow I could've wrote your post about weight! I've put on 4lbs since finding out I was pregnant, now 15+1 and I'm eating way more crisps/snacking on stuff. I feel chunkier around the waste and my DH says my belly looks rounder so hoping everything is ok but I don't have a bump. I lost a lot of weight about 3 years ago so if everything is fine, I'll be delighted to not pile it all back on! X

@Crispaddict99 - statutory only here too - I think it is to do with also working in a male dominated industry (construction) - they just don't see the need for enhanced maternity packages - which is a shame as it might have encouraged me more to go back in between babies but now I think I'll just be a SAHM for a few years....

@seventhrow I too was really worried about weight gain (or lack of it) - I've only put on about 3lbs and didn't really have MS/nausea so didn't lose weight in the 1st trimester either. Was getting a bit worried about it and started logging my calories and think I am a bit lower than recommended so have tried adding an extra snack a day. My midwife was unconcerned at my 16 week appointment on Wednesday though and said most gain will be after 20 weeks. They weighed me at 9 weeks (booking), 14 weeks ( scan) and will weigh me again at 20 week scan but they seem unconcerned!

Statutory pay here too. Have to be a certain pay grade to get enhanced 🙄

Scan went well this morning. Baby was being an awkward Annie and wouldn’t stay still. But measurements were taken and saw the midwife afterwards for bloods etc

Consultant appointment and 20 week scan booked.

I am a teacher and I get 4 weeks full pay, and then it goes down by about 10% every few weeks until I end up on SMP, which for me will happen at about 18 weeks as I am part time. Then I am legally contracted to go back and work for 4 months. I will have to quit after that as 2 kids in childcare is more than I earn every month. As a household we wonr benefit from me working.

@SqidgeBum this whole issue makes me so angry. As a teacher is it relatively easy (i.e. not horrifically difficult) to reenter the workplace if/when you'd like to go back? Some industries are harder than others.

@seventhrow it's not very difficult to go back into teaching but you need to give them massive amounts if notice so they can timetable you. I had to decide when I was going back when my baby was 8 weeks old. But I found the schools have a lot of pulling power for when you can come back. For example, I wanted to drop my hours. I couldn't afford full time childcare, but they told me they would accommodate that if I came back 3 months early. I didnt really have much choice. I then spent my whole maternity leave crying every time I thought I about going back.

Scan fine this morning but I am literally leaving now and my appt was 920! Been a right palaver. Baby also wouldnt play ball @Fouryearslater so I had to go away and come back. Eventually got the measurements, all fine, but then they had trouble getting my blood. I have a needle phobia so that was quite distressing.

All in all,quite the morning! Got some lovely pics in the end though and feeling much more reassured. Excited to tell extended family today. Good luck to the others today, I think there are two more of us!

OH and the best news, they measured me a day ahead so new DD Nov 25th! Everyday counts with HG!

@SqidgeBum yes that makes sense... My husband is a teacher and the hiring process blew my mind when he told me. I get the fact that the lead times have to be very long. But to have to tell the head before even applying for a job .

Yes in my school we have to decide in January if we are going to get a new job ready for September so they can hire in March to replace us before we have even secured the new job. It's insane. So when it comes to maternity leave, depending on what time of the year you give birth, theh may want to know when you are coming back right after the baby is born. I found it to be a lot of pressure. I was knackered and hormonal. I couldn't think beyond surviving that day, let alone 8 months down the line.

@FilthyforFirth they measured me two days ahead so my due date is also 25th now! I do hope the sickness eases soon for you.

My sickness has improved these last couple of days, although I puked this morning. I’m hoping this is the light, it went on for much longer last time.

We only get SMP at work too. I'll be taking a year off as I did before, I started my leave a month before I was due before and that worked quite well. I told work as soon as we'd had the 12 week scan. It's a small company and I'm part of senior management so felt a bit bad but giving the notice made me feel a bit better. I'm probably going to have to sort my own cover though so it didn't really help anyone!

Me too, I get 6 weeks at 90% then smp for the rest .

Cheeky sod of DH just told me he cant wait for pregnancy to be over because apparently I've gotten too much attitude and I'm narky!
I'm sorry I'll just grow a person with a smile on my face at all times then yeah?

Has anyone lost their appetite? I'm almost 14 weeks and its seems to have just gone and when I do eat, I feel sick about half way through because I've had enough

Congrats on all the scans! I'm the same as most, get 90% for 6 weeks then SMP. My boss is making me redundant mid August as well, so I'll be having a rather long mat leave..

I'm very lucky, work have been quite understanding and my enhanced pay is full pay for 6 months then 3 months SMP. DH wants to do shared which I am currently unsure of but I will take a year or thereabouts. I will tag on my AL which is accrued so I dont actually expect to be back in work until Jan '22 from Oct/Nov this year!