Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 3

[Avocuddles]

Just setting up placeholder for new thread.....

@Bellsx 25wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 25wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 21wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 20wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 19wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 19wks due 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 19wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 19wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 18wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 13wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@Whiffle77 10wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 9wks (due 09/12/20

Updating my weeks, made it to double figures! But thinking of buying things and mat leave still seems exceptionally far away. Baby steps!
Ahhh @MrsMGE that must have been a shock! Hopefully though it will give you a nice memory for that day to help ease the hardness of your previous memories.
Hope everyone has a lovely bank hol! Lots of garden chores for me today I think, given how lovely the weather is

Thanks @Avocuddles and @Knotemma, I guess I need to take a look at my maternity policy. I don't think I'd be able to return to work for 25 weeks so if that is standard I think I'll have to try and survive on statutory maternity pay. I don't know what my long term plan would be, guess I should probably look for weekend self employed work as a gardener... living in a flat it will be interesting finding space for tools! And its not going to be a great economy to emerge into trying to be self employed...

Thanks @Avocuddles for the sleep advice! I do think I'm going to buy a pillow. My back has already been aching, don't know why, and I actually keep waking up on my back so think maybe I'm already avoiding the stomach (I just feel so full and bloated for one thing). I don't want to get in the habit of back sleeping and I think those sleep pillows help your posture on your side by supporting your legs and arms.. I was gonna try the John Lewis one Dreamgenii? Tbf even if this preg doesn't progress I reckon I'd love a sleep pillow, but usually it would seem like too much of an indulgence. I love having something to cuddle!

Is anyone else getting horrible tastes in their mouth? I got it early in the pregnancy and then it passed, but it seems to be back. I seem to have 3 'flavours': metal, soap, or... god this is awful to say but basically sperm?! I know it's gross and I wish it didn't happen but that is undeniably the taste that sometimes plagues me! Yesterday it was sperm, today it is metal. I MUCH prefer the metal taste - sperm, and soap, are particularly gross. Am I weird, why is this happening?!!!!

Also @Whiffle77 nice to see you added to the roll call and having made 10 weeks! Have you had your 12 week scan through yet? I like seeing you just ahead of me it gives me hope! xxx

@Whiffle77 It was tbh. But nothing I can do about it, I'll have to get on with things. @Avocuddles thanks, in a way I think if it's going to be bad news, maybe it's bettee to have that "bad date" in the calendar. In some ways it'll make it justified if that makes sense. When I spoke to my midwife and my GP they were so nice and happy for me and I was like, no, no, this is the third time, I'm not getting excited yet. It was strange to hear someone more excited than me, it made me feel like a really cold person.

@MOGMOGMOG85 I think the main thing is not to sleep on your back after a certain period. Maybe 25 weeks?? That said, I've read that by the point you're not meant to sleep on your back, even if you happen to do it accidentally, you likely wouldn't do it for long as you would automatically find it uncomfortable anyway (under the bulk of the bump).

I'm a side sleeper but usually lift one leg up and have been finding for a couple of weeks now I need to put a pillow under that leg as my hips hurt or it feel a uncomfortable elsewhere. Haven't bought a pregnancy pillow yet. I fear once I start using that my poor DH will be edged out of the end altogether.

Thanks @MOGMOGMOG85 yes the midwife booked it in for me - two weeks on Tuesday! Not had a letter yet so probably need to chase that up though. Have you got your date?
Worried about it already, in fact I'm all round really anxious today, I don't know what's up with me. Hey ho

@AnxiousLady1 I have a pregnancy pillow and it does take up a lot of space!

We’ve actually gone another step, I’m snoring terribly at the moment so we’ve bought a spare bed then OH has somewhere comfy if it’s unbearable.

Ended up buying him a pregnancy pillow too, to keep him company there 😂

That’s all we’ve bought so far though, 2 pregnancy pillows and 2 tiny vests. I’ve done a lot of window shopping though and made a spreadsheet to track and budget (I love a spreadsheet!). Scan tomorrow and all being well I will start buying x

Good luck tomorrow @littlgoth

@littlegoth Best of luck with the scan tomorrow! I'm with you on the spreadsheet love. I've only started making a list for now, but will put it into a spreadsheet soon. I've been writing down things people have been recommending on MN and all going well at 20 week scan will start to buy things then. All I have bought so far are bits I need. Stretchmark oil, bigger underpants etc. Ordered a couple of bras without underwire but trying to measure at home has been super confusing. Putting the sizes into different sites gave me entirely different results. 🤷‍♀️

First lot of baby washing done! House now filled with the smell of fairy non bio, AMAZING. Just done the plain white vests and sleep suits.will probably have another 2 loads to do over next few days, one of towels/blanket/muslin etc and one of little outfits/not plain sleepsuits etc.

Belly has popped in the last 2 days as well, lay down in bed last night and OH came in and said fuck me that's appeared all of a sudden!

@MrsMGE that does make sense about the "bad date". I really hope things go well for you. I was the same with my midwife, whenever she said "congratulations" I winced, and I had a really hard business-like face with no emotion for the whole meeting. I found the whole thing really difficult because, until my positive scan, I found it much easier to just zone out and pretend I'm not pregnant to a degree. Being at the midwifes office kind of forced the issue and I was really uncomfortable. So much so she kept asking me if I was ok and if I wanted to continue with the pregnancy. It must have seemed strange for me to say in quite a hard way "this pregnancy is very much wanted" whilst looking like I was at a funeral.

@AnxiousLady1 luckily we have a king sized bed since last year and we're still glorying in how much space we have, hopefully it can accommodate a pillow! @Littlegoth that's hilarious did you actually buy him a preg pillow???! My OH says I've started snoring a bit since I've been sleeping on my back suddenly the last couple of days... eek!

@Whiffle77 I can't remember if you had an early reassurance scan or if it will be your first in 2 weeks? Best of luck either way, we'll be cheering you on! I phoned the midwife yesterday as my early scan put me forward and I'm now 9+2 but she said I'd hear about my scan date in a couple of weeks - seems to be cutting it a bit fine but I guess fine with me as long as it actually happens! I'm not entirely clear if I'm supposed to call the midwife or if it's a bit of a bother to do so. I would like to ask her stuff like the sleeping stuff, and stuff about machinery at work... at my booking in appointment I was so convinced baby would be dead I didn't really engage at all.

This may seem nuts at 9 weeks but is anyone into reading up on being a parent? I'm not specifically looking for parenting style books that tell you what you can and cannot do, but more something quite basic. I realise that I won't have much time to think or read if/when a baby arrives, and so now is actually a smart time. I don't know the first thing about babies! How do you know how much to wrap them up in winter without overdoing it? How do you know when to start giving them bits of solid food? How do you potty train them? What kind of things do you need to do around the house to baby-proof it? Whats the best time and way for them to sleep? Etc etc! I'm the sort of personality type who would like to have a look at the facts and then decide for myself, and who feels more prepared if I see what has worked for other people! I know its way too early but that positive scan on wednesday eve has got me suddenly waking up to the fact i know NOTHING about babies! Literally nothing haha

We bought a super king bed last year and it is honestly amazing!! My husband is a snorer and thrashed about all night, it def saved our marriage 😂
I had a scan at 8 weeks and all was ok @MOGMOGMOG85 so not long to wait now. I cant even look to the second trimester let alone parenting yet but I will def so a lot of reading later on, I'm someone else who likes to be prepared. I suspect there isnt much you can actually do to be prepared though as baby will have it's own agenda!

@Whiffle77 very true. I'm worried that my scan reassured me so much. I will def have nerves before the next scan but I feel so different now than I did before the scan. I'd say I'm not 60% hopeful where before I had seen that heartbeat (which I've never seen before) I was 0%!!!

I'm now 60% hopeful, not not 60% hopeful*

@MOGMOGMOG85 I know what you mean about that overwhelming feeling of "oh crap I'm going to be a parent!"

Couple of quick ones I can help with:

The rule of thumb is that you should dress your child in one more layer than you're comfortable in. So if your in the house in a t-shirt they should have a vest and a t-shirt etc.
Main source of "food" for baby up to 12 months should be milk, either breast milk or formula. People normality start to introduce grown up food around the 6 months mark, after a bottle so they have there main food source first.

You should never give a baby under a year honey. (Something to do with botulism???)

I would guess that baby proofing becomes more if an issue once they're mobile!

I'm really glad that you're feeling so much more positive!

@Rachael321 the smell of baby laundry sounds awesome! I've just switched our laundry capsule subscription over from bio to non bio (we use Smol and love it) and today at Tesco I spotted a massive comfort pure on offer so bought that to put away ready to start laundry. Once the non-bio arrives in our next order I'm going to start washing nappies, because they recommend that they get 3-5 washes before you start using them.

It's lovely to be able to start to feel excited. I also ordered some maternity jeans from Gap and they arrived today. So I'm feeling super comfy and like I actually bothered to get dressed! Bonus bump picture to show off my jeans!

@Knotemma You look great! I'm waiting on a pair of maternity leggings and jeggings to arrive. I need better loungewear as my normal leggings are uncomfortable at the waistband so have to roll them below my tum.

I switched to SMOL last week actually. Love the idea as I've been doing lots of little steps like that (turning to more environmentally friendly options) over the last couple of years. I had tried another brand of washing liquid in the past but was unimpressed as clothes would still come out smelling (if it was gymqear for example). Interested to see how SMOL fares.

Hit my 20 weeks today! I have my scan on Thursday and to be honest I’m terrified. I haven’t felt him as much today and the anxiety is awful. Having such a crappy day and I think all the trauma of last time just hit me! Just wish I could fast forward 18 weeks and know that he’s okay and coming home!

Oh @Anon20something I'm sorry you're feeling crappy :( 18 weeks is a long wait! Best of luck for your scan on Thursday, its no wonder you're feeling anxious given what happened last time. Let us know how it goes! xxx

@Knotemma those jeans look so good and so comfy! I'm so jealous of all the bumps, I am def filling out but can't say it's bump...

@AnxiousLady1 i saw those advertised to me the other week but dishwasher tabs, let us know what they're like! I use ecover atm, but just use normal dishwasher tabs as I like them to be powerful (tried eco ones once and they were terrible). But since I've been pregnant the smell of the dishwasher soap makes me feel ill!

Also thanks @Knotemma, I had no idea bout honey! And the layer thing is a good rule. I did know that they drink milk lolol I'd be sooooo out of my depth if I didn't even know that! But 6 months sounds like a good time to start with little bits of food. Good to know! xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 thank you, this page is the only outlet I feel I have at the minute so I really appreciate it. I think it’s just the realisation that I’m over half way now (getting induced 38 weeks, the date discussed is a year from my daughters due date/funeral) and that he could actually come home! I can’t really explain why I feel like this, just so anxious and scared that something will come up on the scan or something! Can’t wait to get it done and get another milestone ticked off x

Anyhoo, my little wobble and pity party is being put aside so I thought I’d share a 20 week baby boy bump pic as I love seeing all yours! :) he’s had a wiggle so I feel a bit calmer!

@Anon20something of course you would worry about the scan! Good to look forward to a milestone being ticked off, thats a good way to look at it. What a beautiful bump, and so glad baby had a wiggle! xxx

@AnxiousLady1 I love Smol, been using them for some time and they were great for my aerial gear, always felt like they we're really clean and fresh smelling, even without softner. The fact that it just gets put through your letterbox is brilliant too, though I'm finding the newer cardboard boxes quite difficult to get into... I think I might keep one of the old plastic ones and transfer them 😂. I love that they're lower chemical and honestly it's just cheap and easy, we've never run out since I started the subscription. I'm definitely a fan of maternity wear. I might never go back to normal clothes 😂.

@Anon20something I totally understand what you mean about the prescan nerves. I wasn't feeling any movement at all before my scan, so spent a week winding myself up. It's only in the last 4 days or so I've started to feel movements, but I have to be in the right position and lie still for a while, cursing the anterior placenta at the moment! Your bump looks fab and I'm sure everything on Thursday is going to be perfect x

@MOGMOGMOG85 I was surprised that once they start to wean milk should still be the main food source, wasn't trying to suggest you thought they came out asking for chicken nuggets and sausage rolls 😂

Thank you @MOGMOGMOG85 and @knotemma ☺️ The week before the scans are so nerve wracking! I think I just over think everything! I think baby has just moved so I can’t feel him as much today, the nerve pain is starting again so he’s up to something in there! Feel like I’m going to be obsessing over the movements now though!