Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 3

[Avocuddles]

Just setting up placeholder for new thread.....

@SammiLou2312 That's so exciting. I can't wait to know the sex. Can I ask what specifically make you know it was a girl? Just curious if I can spot similar symptoms 😁

Ahhh lovely news @SammiLou2312 congratulations! What a lovely pic!

@whiffle77 thank you x

@anxiouslady1 it was mainly just a gut feeling lol.. also to do with how quickly I started to show and how my bump looked as it was exactly the same as when my mum carried me x

Great scan pic @SammiLou2312 !!

Awww @SammiLou2312 thats fab news what a gorgeous girl! So pleased it went well for you x

@SammiLou2312 congratulations!!! What a wonderful scan pic and so cute with a girl 🥰🥰🥰🥰 you can relax now and nursery is looking amazing already!

@Avocuddles we both have our 20 week scans next week then... when is yours? Mine is Wednesday morning, I tried to book for Monday but couldn't! And Tuesday also fully booked 🤦🏻‍♀️ I haven't asked yet if DH can come to the scan with me, I hope he can... I doubt it though.

I'm getting nervous about the scan next week now. I know logically it should be fine, I've been measuring my belly and it's been growing so surely it must be fine?! 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

@SammiLou2312 ahhh SO pleased for you!!! Can't believe you had a strong idea of sex - I have no idea at all!!! Xx

@SammiLou2312 congratulations! I agree, seeing these lovely pictures is helping to ease my nerves.

@Avocuddles @SunStruck my 20 week scan is also next week, on Saturday.

Hoping that a week from now we’ll all be enjoying reassurance and some nice pictures x

I have a feeling I’m having a boy, hope this time next week I’ll know for definite x

@Littlegoth I'm fairly certain we will! We have gotten so far! The chance of us all having good scans is overwhelming. Unfortunately DH can't come, what about for you guys?

@SammiLou2312 congratulations, lovely photo.

We had our private 17 week scan today, we’re having a girl too!! I had such a strong feeling it was a boy, so shows what I know!

Ah, sorry I’ve missed a lot this week, I sadly had a friend pass away (not covid related), leaving two young children, and another friend suffered a miscarriage. Along with my own scan anxiety & everything else it’s all been a bit much.

Am now having an alcohol free beer, a sit down and feeling slightly less stressed. Was lovely DH got to see the scan, and only three weeks to wait until my hospital one.

Sorry to not reply to everyone’s posts, I hope everyone is doing ok & those struggling find ways to deal with the stress... I was hoping mine would ease as time goes on but it doesn’t seem to be. xx

Just caught up over the last week (lots of reading). Fingers crossed to all the people who are newly pregnant, I know this is such a difficult time for you when time almost feels at a stand still and you're full of anxiety and hope and dread.
Congratulations to all those with positive scans. We seem to have a lot of girlies to.

I've finally felt brave enough to buy a few bits of clothing. My partner picked one of the baby grows and teared right up. It's the first time he's shown real emotion in regards to babies including the miscarriage, the positive test result or even the positive scans. I think he's been as anxious as I have been and seeing something the he can actually touch and have a reference for size took him by suprise.

Starting to feel more movements and my partner has felt them at times. Even that is making me feel anxious as it's not consistent, big movements or even that regular. It's funny how we stress ourselves over everything.

Still having issues with work. They moved me from my ward (psychiatric intensive care unit) to a different acute ward. I had requested to go to where is used to work (child mental health inpatient unit) or the crisis centre (which is minimal face to face patient care). Instead they've moved me to an acute ward with a guy there who a few weeks back threatened to kick the baby out of me.
I just don't know what to do. HR is nigh impossible to get a hold of with covid going on. I work nights so management is a nightmare to get a hold of as they work 9-5. And I feel guilty kicking up a fuss as staffing is a nightmare hospital wide. But on the other hand I don't know what to do 😔 I just dont feel like anyone is truly risk assessing me or cares

Thank you everyone...it's suddenly got a lot more real between finding out we're having a girl and building the nursery furniture all day lol!

Congratulations @tmc14 team pink for us both 🥰

Good luck to anyone else with upcoming scans x

@Sunflower1608 It sounds like work isn’t treating you right. All employers have a legal responsibility to protect their employees and there is lots of legislation particularly for the protection of pregnant women at work. If you don’t feel safe then you should go off sick and not come back until they have done a proper risk assessment with you. Get a union rep involved if necessary. Best of luck, it sounds a difficult situation, plus I know that guilt of being off during the current Covid19 situation and subsequent staffing difficulties, but your health and well being is just as important as anybody else’s.

@SammiLou2312 congratulations on your lovely scan! So glad your anxiety was all for nothing, it's just the best possible outcome :)

@Rachael321 @Whiffle77 thanks for your replies re: nausea - I may look into travel bands. I've just discovered mints and that is a game changer although I may be really fat and have no teeth left in a few weeks!

@Anon20something I'm so sorry about your previous experience :'( that must be really hard to feel that you never got to practice being a mum properly. How far along are you now? I don't know what happened previously but (empty words) I'm sure the risk of it happening again is so vanishingly low. But yes you must feel anxious. I feel bad really as if I get a positive scan this week at 8 and a half weeks I'll be out of the water in some ways - in terms of having cleared my previous experience of an early loss. Sending lots of hugs to you xxxx

@Avocuddles I saw that men book and did wonder if it was a good idea for him! I think god-willing I'll get straight on amazon after our scan if it's all good news as I am the sort of person who likes to feel prepared! I was thinking the Positive Birth book too as I will def need some positive vibes to prepare myself for birth scream

@Sunflower1608 that sounds crazy - is that not the same man who threatened you before on your previous ward? It's definitely not ok for them to have moved you to a ward which is essentially the same in terms of risk, that makes no sense. Please don't feel cowed and keep speaking up for yourself. Ask for a proper risk assessment to be done, specifically around coming into contact with these patients who are particularly triggered by pregnant women. And yeah I echo @MysteriousSheep above, speak to your union - demand to be put through to HR, even an employment lawyer for a free initial consultation. Let them know you're not going to just shrink away - surely there is some way they could transfer you to the wards you've suggested, you're not trying to shirk work but just need somewhere appropriate! xxx

@MOGMOGMOG85 thank you for replying and being so kind. I’m 19+1 now. My daughter died 20 minutes after birth in August. She had a genetic condition which meant she couldn’t breathe on her own. Baby boy doesn’t have it thankfully, but it’s just really tough imagining him coming home. We only found out about her condition at 32 weeks and I had her at 38, so I just feel like anything can happen and that I’m just so out of control. It’s just really tough and I’m really feeling it at the moment, as I’m sure a lot of us are. Xx

@SunStruck @Littlegoth my scan is a week tomorrow and my DH will have to wait in the car outside. I don't have a feeling one way or the other about what I'm having - I'd originally thought girl but friends who've seen pictures of my growing bump all seem to lean towards boy- I guess we'll find out next week!

@tmc14 sorry you've had such a tough week, glad you had a positive scan experience to provide you some comfort after a lot of bad news.

@Sunflower1608 so exciting that you're feeling movements and have made some purchases! Your work situation sounds appalling, it sounds like they've just shifted you from one risky situation to another and it's not on. I hope you have some success getting through to management and can arrange a move somewhere less risky for you and the babies.

Sending big air hugs to everyone having a tough time at the moment - it might not always feel that way but we're all brave to be going through this journey after our past experiences, and together we really are a strong strong team.....

@Sunflower1608 Are you a member of a union? If so, contact the rep directly asap. Alternatively, you could try speaking to ACAS. There's also an interesting Facebook page Pregnant Then Screwed (not that I support getting any legal knowledge from the internet, but this is more of an NGO obtaining advice from specialist employment counsel). There is some useful info there from what I've looked.

Also congratulations on the lovely positive scans, ladies ❤️

I am reading through but keeping a low profile, I've realised I'm just still too early to allow myself to breathe out and my brain decided to adopt the strategy of not thinking much about this pregnancy until it's confirmed it is proceeding into the second trimester. A coping mechanism, I guess, there's still around a month left till the 12ws for me. I shall be popping in occasionally ❤️ xxx

Happy Monday all!

Updating my weeks (along with the other 19 weekers...)

@Bellsx 23 wks (due 20/08/20)
@Rachael321 23 wks (due 20/08/20)
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)
@SammiLou2312 20wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)
@Knotemma 19wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)
@LilMrsS 19wks (due 24/09/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo 19wks due 26/09/20)
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)
@avocuddles 19wks (due 27/09/20)
@Sunflower1608 19wks with twins (due 28/09/20)
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)
@Littlegoth 18wks (due 30/09/20)
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣
@Treaclepie19 17wks (due 07/10/20)⁣
@Aria2015 10wks
@tmc14 16wks (due 11/10/20)
@Hagster 13wks (due 12/10/20)⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)
@DressingGown87 13wks (20/10/20)
@rachelrainbow (11 weeks, due 1/11/20)
@teaandtantrums90 13 wks (due 05/11/20)
@AnxiousLady1 12 wks (due 07/11/20)
@Shefliesonherownwings 9 wks (due 10/11/20)
@Whiffle77 8 weeks (due 04/12/20)
@MOGMOGMOG85* 7 wks (due 13/12/20)

@MrsMGE we all understand how you feel. The first trimester is such an awful, slow time, you do whatever you need to do to keep yourself calm and distracted, we're all hoping to see you hit that second trimester!

Happy Monday!

Updating my weeks too

@Bellsx 23 wks (due 20/08/20)
@Rachael321 23 wks (due 20/08/20)
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)
@SammiLou2312 20wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)
@Knotemma 19wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)
@LilMrsS 19wks (due 24/09/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo 19wks due 26/09/20)
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)
@avocuddles 19wks (due 27/09/20)
@Sunflower1608 19wks with twins (due 28/09/20)
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)
@Littlegoth 18wks (due 30/09/20)
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣
@Treaclepie19 17wks (due 07/10/20)⁣
@Aria2015 10wks
@tmc14 16wks (due 11/10/20)
@Hagster 13wks (due 12/10/20)⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)
@DressingGown87 13wks (20/10/20)
@rachelrainbow (11 weeks, due 1/11/20)
@teaandtantrums90 13 wks (due 05/11/20)
@AnxiousLady1 13 wks (due 07/11/20)
@Shefliesonherownwings 9 wks (due 10/11/20)
@Whiffle77 8 weeks (due 04/12/20)
@MOGMOGMOG85* 7 wks (due 13/12/20)

@Bellsx 23 wks (due 20/08/20)
@Rachael321 23 wks (due 20/08/20)
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)
@SammiLou2312 20wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)
@Knotemma 19wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)
@LilMrsS 19wks (due 24/09/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo 19wks due 26/09/20)
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)
@avocuddles 19wks (due 27/09/20)
@Sunflower1608 19wks with twins (due 28/09/20)
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)
@Littlegoth 18wks (due 30/09/20)
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣
@Treaclepie19 17wks (due 07/10/20)⁣
@Aria2015 10wks
@tmc14 16wks (due 11/10/20)
@Hagster 13wks (due 12/10/20)⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)
@DressingGown87 13wks (20/10/20)
@rachelrainbow (11 weeks, due 1/11/20)
@teaandtantrums90 13 wks (due 05/11/20)
@AnxiousLady1 13 wks (due 07/11/20)
@Shefliesonherownwings 9 wks (due 10/11/20)
@Whiffle77 8 weeks (due 04/12/20)
@MOGMOGMOG85 8 wks (due 13/12/20)

Forgot to update my weeks yesterday where I was desperate to before. Guess I'm out of the stage now where I'm worried about an early miscarriage and into the stage where I'm just expecting a missed miscarriage at my scan on wednesday. Last night as I was going to bed I noticed my lovely pet rat Felix was slumped in a funny position. I went to check on him and he started spasming and I had to rush him to the emergency vet to have him put to sleep. He was so brave and my heart is broken. I've taken a days holiday today because I'm exhausted (didn't get to bed until after midnight and then still woke early) and so upset. Weirdly the last time I was pregnant the same thing happened, that time it was just the day before my 8 week scan, and then we found out the next day that the embryo had died. I was so brave with the previous rat because deep in my heart I had hope for my pregnancy and that overshadowed my grief. This time not so much and I miss my poor little boy - they have such short lives and can really suffer with poor health.

Such bad timing - I really hope I have some nice news to cheer me up on Wednesday evening.

Hi ladies,
I hope you don't mind me dropping back in. I've been staying off most boards as I've been feeling quite anxious. I'm now 6+4, I miscarried in March at 6 weeks & hoped I would feel less anxious after I passed 6 weeks but I don't. I had really bad cramps at the weekend & diarrhea, I'm so scared it's happening again. I spoke to a midwife today & I thought she might reassure me but she said that if it happened again I should contact them to get checked out by epu. It's nice she took it seriously but in a way I just wanted her to dismiss it as nothing!!
Congratulations on all your lovely scans, it's so nice seeing all your positive news 😊