Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 3

[Avocuddles]

Just setting up placeholder for new thread.....

@Sunflower1608 I read this and thought, you probably would say you simply did the right thing, what was necessary. But it's really hard to work nights and be a mum of 3, including one autistic child. To me that really is a superhero kind of stuff and I'm giving you a medal you as an outsider. 🏅💐

Thankykou. But I think any mum is a superhero wether they work or not. And that includes all those who haven't quite managed to bring a baby home yet, some of your journeys are absolutely heartbreaking and I have no idea how you've got her with such strength and positivity. Everything is a balancing act of your sanity, finances and the childs best interests.
And to be honest my son's autism makes him an easy teen he's 13 and as long as he gets his routine all he's interested in is computer games. We don't get much back chat and have no worries regarding drugs, crime or girls in the next few years 🤣

Hi everyone. Will catch up later but at the moment feeling a bit wiped out after an eventful night. I'm fine but ended up having more paramedics in the house this time for DH who definitely gave both of us a big scare! He started having a moderate nosebleed after our walk yesterday afternoon, we thought it had stopped but then when we were about to head to bed it started much heavier than before leaving a trail of blood across the floor! He (well both of us) became quite panicked as it didn't seem to have subsided after another 20 minutes of nose pinching and in the end we had the paramedics sat with us for an hour until they were happy it had stopped. By this point it was the middle of the night and we had to sit up for another hour to make sure it didn't kick off again. We did get some sleep eventually but it was definitely not the most restful! DHs medical history makes us extra worried if ever he's not 100% and it was certainly one of our most frightening incidents. Definitely need to take it easy today!
I hope you're all well, I'll read through last nights posts after a large cup of tea x

@avocuddles OMG you poor thing!! That must have been so frightening for you. Honestly, you've really had a bad run of it lately between your health and your husband's. Glad your planning on taking it easy today. Get in as many naps as you can. xx

How is everyone doing? I don't have the energy to read back and catch up on everything I've missed lol!

@Avocuddles hope your DH is ok? Enjoy a large cuppa!

I've finally got my first scan date! 30th April when I will be roughly 12w 5d, feeling lucky with getting this far. Can't wait to just see if everything's ok!

What's the first things you guys bought for the baby? This is my second so I don't need to buy loads but I just can't wait to start! Xxx

@Avocuddles hope your husband is feeling better today...please take it easy all day and try and nap x

@teaandtantrums90 our first purchase was a Dumbo theme baby grow set (we've now painted nursery in Winnie the Pooh and Dumbo characters so seemed fitting as we knew we wanted to do that). Bought the set after our first successful scan x

I went to see midwife yesterday for some blood tests to see if baby is also rhesus negative...ended up having to go to hospital and spending over an hour with them trying to take blood (I have awful veins and a fear of needles)...but midwife was able to check heartbeat for me while I was there and let me record it 🥰

Good strong heartbeat and a very wriggly baby that kept kicking her doppler probe and moving while she was trying to get a good read haha so feeling a little less anxious about going to 20 week scan alone now.

Hope everyone else is doing ok. Sorry I've not replied to everyone, just so many messages to try and keep up with lately ☺️

@Avocuddles oh gosh that sounds so scary! I hope your DH is feeling better today x

@Avocuddles thanks for updating my weeks! It sounds like you've had so much stress lately - if it's not one thing it's another! Who thought all this drama would be non baby related eh?! Your little one must be behaving because you've had enough stress to deal with! 🙈😂

17+3 today and I think I'm starting to regularly feel movements now! Just little flutterings - initially a few days ago it was very much "could that be?!" but they've become more pronounced and consistent over the last two or three days!!

It's difficult to keep up with this thread sometimes as it's moving so fast lately but just wondering who has scans coming up soon?!

I have my 12 week scan coming up second baby.....feel soo nervouse

@Avocuddles sounds like you had quite a night of it, hope DH is ok and you get some rest this evening.

I woke up at about 4am from a very vivid dream... I was in a Subway store in Central Park NY ordering an Italian BMT while social distancing. Then the woman in the queue behind me came up and stood next to me so close our arms were touching... I woke up as I pushed her away from me and I was furious that she'd ignored social distancing...then I realized I'd been dreaming 😂🤷‍♀️ took me ages to calm down. I don't normally remember my dreams, so pregnancy has really messed with me. At least now I'm waking up angry instead of terrified after nightmares though

@Knotemma I'm surprised you weren't waking up hungry after not getting that Italian BMT 😂

I'd a dream last night I was trying to work out how to bet on the Grand National. 🤷‍♀️

@Avocuddles that sounds very scary, hope your DH is feeling better today?

I'm feeling very low today. I saw on social media that DHs cousin has had her baby. It's her first and she had a girl. She was due the end of the month so we knew it was coming but I didn't expect to see it all over social media yesterday. I just feel so sad that they get to bring their baby home and we never got those moments. We went into hospital expecting to bring DD home and instead we lost her during labour.

I've been so emotional all day, crying on and off. I was the same yesterday. Then I get worried that the crying is affecting the baby because everyone says how bad stress is. But I can't help it, I'm still grieving DD and these things really set me back. Life just feels very very unfair today.

Hi all! We're both ok thanks. DH seems fine today just a bit anxious about the thought of it happening again, but we went for a nice stroll on our lunch break and all was well so hopefully we'll have a more restful night today! We've both had major health issues over the years which have made us probably more resilient than most but it was a pretty scary experience.
I'm on a video conference with colleagues in the US until after 10pm tonight so alas no early night....

@didslysquiddlydoo how exciting about feeling movements! I might have had some popping type feelings but not enough to be certain.

@Knotemma I'm not even a big subway fan usually but reading about your dream has got me craving one - I'd go for meatballs on chilli bread with all the trimmings..... i hope your dreams stay in the angry rather than scary zone!

@teaandtantrums90 I haven't bought anything baby related yet (other than maternity clothes) - I'm too nervous to until after the 20 week scan. I've started doing some research and know some of the things I'd like to get but not for at least a few more weeks.

@SammiLou2312 your nursery sounds lovely, can't beat a bit of Disney. And great news about hearing the heartbeat, I'm very jealous!

@Shefliesonherownwings my baby has been exposed to hell of a lot of stress so far so I'm hoping that it's not been affected, I imagine very few people go the duration of pregnancy without experiencing stress in some way though so I'm trying not to think about it in a negative way. It's only natural to grieve and to feel upset, the baby will be fine and not even aware I'm sure so don't worry yourself about that and instead allow yourself some time and space to rage against the world - what you experienced certainly was unfair and some days you will just need to let all of that emotion out. Today is one of those days but hopefully tomorrow will be a better one. Maybe step away from social media a bit as it certainly presents a high risk of exposing us to things that may be triggering?

We finished one wall of the nursery at the weekend...(the one with Tigger and co) but still have some more to do on the other walls. Attached some pics if anyone interested as super proud of it given hubby drew the pics for us to both hand paint ☺️

@sammilou2312 that looks fab!! Well done both of you. I'm gutted we cant do that as we are planning on moving somewhere bugger but that's all on hold for now!

@Avocuddles hope everything is ok today

I'm 22+5 today and had face to face midwife appointment she was wearing all ppe. She measured tummy and listened to babys heartbeat!! First I've heard it and she let me record for OH was amazing!! And everything is as its should be shes happy with everything! Got my matb1 form too

Also had work equipment delivered so should be working from home in the next few days!

@Shefliesonherownwings I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling today. When my close friend (who was my bump buddy) told me she was having a baby girl too, it completely floored me and I felt set back in my grief. You've been through so much, so it's not surprising that you're having bad days. Don't feel bad for grieving your DD. I can't imagine many women sail through pregnancy without being stressed either, the baby will be fine ❤️

Hello all. I'm feeling very anxious today. My 20 week scan is next Wednesday and I feel like it's my final hurdle. I feel like the lack of day to day distraction isn't helping really and I don't know what to do to keep my mind occupied more for the next 8 days.

@Avocuddles I had back to back con calls all day and still finishing off work, but just wanted to say I'm glad your DH is better and sending you lots of love ❤️❤️

@shefliesonherownwings totally, totally understandable. I've had so many feelings of sadness/anger/resentment/insert all feelings around others' pregnancy, particularly those who either seem to have sailed through or else don't seem to recognise how lucky they've been (in my perception of course). Please let yourself feel however you need to around this, it must be such a mixed time for you, grieving your DD and starting to connect with your current pregnancy. Sending you lots of love and understanding. Be kind to yourself ❤️

Morning ladies! @Avocuddles how scary about your DH - I hope you both got to rest yesterday and that he's feeling better ❤️

@Rachael321how exciting 22 weeeks! I'm glad all went well ok the appointment and that you got to hear HB 🥰

@Shefliesonherownwings im sorry you had a bad day yesterday 😔 it's good to allow yourself to feel sadness, rather than suppressing the feelings I think. Don't worry about the stress, women give birth in war zones! The little ones are more resilient than we think 😄 I hope today is a better day ❤️

@MrsMGE working hard lady! 😃 I hope you're feeling a bit better and less queasy. That feeling is just really the worst isn't it 😖

I finally have a resemblance of a bump rather than just looking like I've had too much to eat and drink! 😃 I can't wait to start feeling the baby. @didslysquiddlydoo I'm so jealous you're feeling it! Is this also your first? I can't feel anything yet no matter of how hard I try! 😕

@avocuddles oh my gosh that must have been so scary. Glad to hear all was ok yesterday, you poor things have been through a lot recently bless you 💕

@didslysquiddlydoo eep that's so exciting you are feeling regular movements, I am very jealous. Also had the odd 'is that baby?!' Moment but not regular yet. Can't wait for that point I imagine it is very reassuring.

@SammiLou2312 that's amazing I can't believe you painted those yourselves! Very talented pair and how lovely to be able to do that for your little one 😊

I can't remember who asked but I have 20 week scan coming soon... waiting very (im)patiently for my letter! I'm 17w4 so still a bit early I suppose

I, like @avocuddles haven't bought anything yet, I want to wait for a positive 20 week scan first but I know girls on other groups had everything at this point!

I don't know quite how, but another week has gone by! 18 weeks today and definitely feeling increasingly pregnant, especially some back ache. I'm definitely starting to feel beaver about this pregnancy, I've bought a baby sleeping bag, and started to knit a neutral cardigan/jacket. When I told my MIL the other day she admitted that she's nearly finished a shawl, but hadn't wanted to mention it until I was ready. I'm so lucky to have such an understanding family.

I've started looking at online birthing classes, because I'm a planner, and I think I'm going to buy the positive birthing company digital pack. Have any of you second time mums had any hypnobirthing experience? I'm hoping to avoid the drugs!

@Bellsx 21wks (due 20/08/20)
@Rachael321 21wks (due 20/08/20)
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)
@SammiLou2312 18wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)
@Knotemma 18wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)
@LilMrsS 17wks (due 24/09/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo 17wks due 26/09/20)
@TunnocksTcake 17wks (due 26/09/20)
@avocuddles 17wks (due 27/09/20)
@Sunflower1608 17wks with twins (due 28/09/20)
@SunStruck 17wks (due 28/09/20)⁣
@Scout20 14wks (due 29/09/20)
@Littlegoth 16wks (due 30/09/20)
@HighHopes20 13wks (due 03/10/20)⁣
@Treaclepie19 15wks (due 07/10/20)⁣
@Aria2015 10wks
@tmc14 13wks (due 11/10/20)
@Hagster 13wks (due 12/10/20)⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)
@DressingGown87 13wks (20/10/20)
@rachelrainbow (11 weeks, due 1/11/20)
@Doughnut100 11 wks(due 05/11/20)
@teaandtantrums90 10 wks (due 07/11/20)
@Shefliesonherownwings 9 wks (due 10/11/20)
@MOGMOGMOG85 6 wks (due 13/12/20)

Updated here too! 16 weeks ❤
So excited for my next scan and hoping baby is okay.

@knotemma we did hypnobirthing and I loved it. It was good to relax before the birth and I did manage just with gas and air. Even when I had forceps I managed okay. Though of course at that point they attempt to numb things a bit.

@Bellsx 21wks (due 20/08/20)
@Rachael321 21wks (due 20/08/20)
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)
@SammiLou2312 18wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)
@Knotemma 18wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)
@LilMrsS 17wks (due 24/09/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo 17wks due 26/09/20)
@TunnocksTcake 17wks (due 26/09/20)
@avocuddles 17wks (due 27/09/20)
@Sunflower1608 17wks with twins (due 28/09/20)
@SunStruck 17wks (due 28/09/20)⁣
@Scout20 14wks (due 29/09/20)
@Littlegoth 16wks (due 30/09/20)
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣
@Treaclepie19 16wks (due 07/10/20)⁣
@Aria2015 10wks
@tmc14 15wks (due 11/10/20)
@Hagster 13wks (due 12/10/20)⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)
@DressingGown87 13wks (20/10/20)
@rachelrainbow (11 weeks, due 1/11/20)
@Doughnut100 11 wks(due 05/11/20)
@teaandtantrums90 10 wks (due 07/11/20)
@Shefliesonherownwings 9 wks (due 10/11/20)
@MOGMOGMOG85 6 wks (due 13/12/20)

Also, @SunStruck you look amazing! Lovely bump.

@SammiLou2312 that is beautiful! Good work!