Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 3

[Avocuddles]

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@MrsMGE That's a good idea! Our dog has always been really good around other people's small children, and doesn't mind rolling over while they pet him etc. But he gets very jealous of other dogs. We debated for a while on whether to get a second dog (he's a dachshund so is small), but I've been wary he would be a bit of an arse to it. 😂

Thanks for updating me @Avocuddles 🥰 and what a gorgeous bump!!! I'm jealous! Let me know if you start feeling the baby yet as we're the same gestation, I can't feel a thing 😕

@MOGMOGMOG85 definitely constipated here, I never have this problem unless pregnant! My dr has recommended Proflora which is a natural fiber probiotic. It has helped a bit!

@AnxiousLady1 im sorry you're having a wobble, but I second the other ladies here... I think an early scan means it will drag on (like my second miscarriage), I had to wait 2 weeks and go back and obviously those 2 weeks were completely ruined... the chances are very good you're having a healthy pregnancy ❤️

@MrsMGE how are you sista? Hope you had a good weekend!

@AnxiousLady1 I think that's a sensible idea but of course it depends on the dog! I think if you think yours wouldn't like a buddy then probably best not to introduce one now, might be too much change for him over a period of 6-ish months. However, if he's friendly, they might end up keeping themselves busy and playing together, which could well be a blessing fot you later on! Our dog is a rescue and still pretty anxious, bless him. He's very sweet and gets on with everyone, loves the cats and they play together 😂 So I'll be leaving them to it, but will play baby sounds via apps & YouTube to make sure they're familiar with the new sounds. I suspect your DH will have to shower the dog with love and attention at the beginning when the baby arrives. We're bracing for that in our household too (the dog is my absolute baby, he follows me everywhere 😂).

@SunStruck Hey, sista 😘 I felt crap on Sat, barely got of bed (nausea), then felt great on Sun, did gardening and went through my shoes (don't ask how many...too many!) and selected some for charity, watched some films, delivered food to our family members. Today I'm half and half, I had diarrhoea this morning (sorry TMI! I think it's my IBS because of the progesterone), then nausea, then I think indigestion? It feels as if I had a plank of wood in my upper stomach and I have reflux, so guessing indigestion. It's all a bit of a mess, tbh 😂

How have you been? ❤️

@MrsMGE ah poor you, it is always worst earlier on! 🤦🏻‍♀️ just been locked up at home so cooking and baking a lot, I am actually really enjoying it 🤣 usually my job is so high pressured and I'm there from 7-6 so this slower pace of WFH and having more time to do stuff around the house (and sleep for longer!) is actually really nice! I know your job is similar, are you enjoying WFH at all or missing it?

So I was meant to ask you, what are you going to do with the scans? Are you just waiting and going on the 12 week one? I hope you feel better soon and that your DH is supportive with getting you the food you can actually stomach! 😅

Thanks @SunStruck. I love wfh too, my big boss can be a bit odd at times, but in fairness, he's always been pretty good with flexibility. I think after this is over, we'll be seeing each other in the office far less frequently. I am convinced wfh which meant less pressure and no travel to work has helped me conceive so quickly again. It might be difficult sometimes to just log off and move on to your home life, at the moment I'm having a bit of a blend, taking lots of shorter breaks during the day and then working an extra hour or so later. I think this is my natural rhytm, actually. I love having healthy lunches with DH too. He's in one of the key professions but luckily wfh most days, only in the office 2-3 times a week. How are you coping? You do sound very relaxed, it's great to hear. Are you not bored? Is your DH wfh full time too?

Tbh, I do not miss the high pressure environment at all and I'm having more and more thoughts about doing something that would give me that healthy balance for good. I suspect I'll conclude it's too early financially for a career change, but it's nice to pause, think and maybe plan ahead for the future. Time spent with your loved ones is a very precious thing and I think it's a much bigger priority for me now than before.

I feel the same @mrsmge theres elements of my job I like, but I don't miss all the travel and the higher up I get the more pressured it is! All this happening to me makes me think life is too short. There must be something i would enjoy far more than this. But yes financially it's not the right time for me to make this decision, but i want to start really considering it so i may be able to do something different in few years time. I just genuinely have no idea what!

I'm really enjoying working from home, I've given myself permission to join Skype meetings from my garden when the weather is good and I feel like I'm getting a lot done because there are no distractions. I do miss the social aspect of being in the office, but I've noticed that a lot of our meetings are getting a lot less formal, we often start or end with a little chat about how people are doing. And I'm definitely enjoying the lack of commute. Mine isn't too bad generally between an hour to and hour and a half a day, but not having to sit in traffic, or worry that it's going to make me late for a meeting is brilliant. I feel like I could get used to 1 or 2 days a week like this

Another symptom question: I'm hoping I get some bites on this one :(

Was feeling quite depressed this morning due to developing stabbing pains in my womb. I got them last time from around 6 weeks and I thought they were probably ligament pains from reading? It's basically intermittent short sharp stabbing pains, happening every now and again and really painful but only for a split second. However last time my embryo stopped developing at 6 weeks and I've been worried this was a sign. My boyfriend and friend who is a doctor both say that a dead embryo wouldn't hurt and that it probably was ligament pains last time since my MMC meant my body continued to prepare for a baby despite the embryo having stopped. I've managed to persuade myself that's the case, ligament pain and that it's a good thing that my uterus has started stretching out in preparation.

Does anyone else get this, and did anyone else get it as early as 6 weeks? How would you describe the pain? It's really bugging me!

Hope everyone got to enjoy the sunshine today - I was taking it easy at work mainly watering and enjoying the tulips and sun. Plus I found my toad who lived in my plant nursery last year but got driven out when I did a big tidy in the autumn - was so happy to see him back again, it makes me happy that my nursery creates an environment for him to thrive, plus he eats all my slugs :)

@MrsMGE I am also really contemplating a career change but it won't be easy - And not sure it's the right time to give up the salary... but then again I think I'll change my mind when the baby is here! I am very relaxed atm and yes a bit bored, but the positives still outweigh the negatives for me at the moment 😃 DH is also WFH and he's much worse to try to lock down than me ha-ha! He's going a bit crazy! We live in a flat out here so no garden (but luckily we have a balcony), so it makes it a bit harder as we can't spend that much time outside.

@Whiffle77 @MrsMGE an easier pace for me would be to move in-house in what I'm doing, so hopefully I can find something after maternity! It would obviously be a salary cut but I also value the time with family more now the older I get...

Also please feel free to share your stories of how you were convinced you were going to have an MMC shown at your first scan but it didn't happen! xx

@mogmogmog85 yes! Me, had it from really early. All kinds of weird pullings/stabbings/aches. Everyone freaked me out until I learnt to ignore it. Could be ligament, I also think some of mine were really bad digestive issues that I seem to get in pregnancy. Had them with my son too. Weirdly don’t remember them in my pregnancy that miscarried. Hang in there, your point is correct, a non-living foetus wouldn’t cause you pain until an actual miscarriage xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 I had that from about 5 weeks and still sometimes get it now at 17weeks if twist funny. Midwife told me in all 4 of my pregnancies that it was likely to be round ligament pain

@MOGMOGMOG85 I’ll also add, it’s not that I thought I’d get bad news at the 12 week scan, but I didn’t expect good news either. I think I’d managed to get myself into a view of I didn’t know, I couldn’t know, so it was wait & see.

Finally caved, found a private scanning place that will allow my partner to come along. Just feel I need him at a scan to make sure all is ok before the 20wk scan. It will be nice for him to be there if they can tell us the gender to

@MOGMOGMOG85 I think its completely normal what you are describing, I also feel it and for me it's actually a good feeling because it means something is hopefully growing in there 😁😁😁 my first mmc I didn't feel anything like this, I felt absolutely nothing (apart from nausea), so
Ligament pain for me is welcome!

This pregnancy is my third (had an early loss after my mmc), and the dr was completely silent for ages when she scanned me - I definitely thought it was another mmc and my heart sank. She then showed me the screen and said here's your baby and here's the heartbeat - it took her a while to find the baby because it was very far up (nestled away!). Was such a relief!

@tmc14 @Sunflower1608 thank you so much! I feel very reassured knowing it's not totally unknown! @tmc14 I think my issues are greatly enhanced by digestive issues too. I'm VERY constipated, I have CONSTANT trapped wind, and indigestion every day, it's awful! All those pains seem to keep my nerves on edge and any little twinge feels much more painful than it probably is.

@Sunflower1608 I'm glad you got your private scan booked. I have to admit being able to take my partner was what pushed me to do it too. The idea of finding out bad news on my own is awful, and the idea of him missing out on a positive scan of our first child together is awful too! Am I right in remembering you are the one expecting twins? In which case all the more lovely to have your partner on hand! I hope it's a lovely experience for you both xxx

@MOGMOGMOG85 definitely sounds like round ligament pain to me, mine started really sharp and rally early on, definitely had bits of it at 5 weeks. I sneezed in bed this morning and could have cried it was so sharp. Not my favourite pregnancy symptom, but not the worst one either.

All of my losses have been immediately obvious, but I'm still really worried before every scan. I think the anatomy scan is going to be worst, because I'll have to wait on my own, normally DH keeps me distracted until I'm in the room pretty much. This pregnancy everything has gone well and all of the scan have shown us a happy bouncy bean, even the one following a small bleed.

Lovely news that your toad is back, it sounds like a lovely environment to work in (minus the fumes from the leaf blower)

Oh @SunStruck thank you for sharing. Thats awful that she was silent for ages!!!! I can just imagine how your heart was sinking through the floor :'( I'm glad you said that as at least I'll be prepared before mine and won't assume anything just because of silence. Visibility in my womb is hard too because of large fibroids so I'll have to be patient. Right I'm going to try and embrace my ligament pain then - although for me I did have it last time even after embryo died which is weird.. anyway thank you for sharing! xx

@SunStruck that pro flora stuff looks good! It does say allergen free but then it has a big ear of wheat on the packaging which is freaking me out a bit as I'm coeliac (and coincidentally if I eat wheat that will DEFINITELY make things worse). I'm sure it's fine - I might email them xx

@Knotemma how long til your next scan? I find taking a really easy crossword, soduku or word search helps. I'm not really into word searches or crosswords but it just gives you something to mindlessly do whilst you're waiting and stops your mind wandering and before you know it you're going in. It is awful not having partners :( I wish you luck and I'm sure everything will be fine!

I love my toad! And yes work is generally pretty good for me - at the moment more than ever I am able to take things at my own pace with no-one pushing me for this open day or that sports day to prep for!

If anyone has name suggestions I'd be happy to name toady after one of your suggestions, he's gorgeous. I'll try and get a picture next time I didn't want to disturb him today, he's so grumpy!

@MOGMOGMOG85 next scan is a week on Thursday. Can't come soon enough, I haven't seen bub for over 6 weeks and I'm not feeling any movement yet (which I know is normal for a FTM) in some ways I'm grateful that I'm still having some nausea, because that helps remind me I'm pregnant, not just fat 😂

Random one for you ladies, but I have just had a delivery of under bump knickers from Amazon and oh my word they are a game changer. So comfy, definitely worth a look! They're so good I've chucked a link on!

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07XHKB8PT/ref=cm_sw_r_apa_i_TjFNEbZRXYHKW?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Help! Sorry I know I'm being really demanding today, I'm just feeling absolutely dreadful. I've never felt so sick (6+1 and I'm guessing the hormones are really kicking up now) - how do I improve it!!! I am already down to pretty much soup and fruit as the only things I can eat, which makes me sound anorexic but I'm never usually like this! I ate some noodles today for dinner, and a whole pack of rice cakes throughout the day, so did get some carbs, and I'm trying to get plenty of beans and lentils into my soups so I'm getting protein. My diet is getting smaller and smaller in terms of what I feel I can eat without feeling sick! I'm eating 5 times a day, today I had a pear for breakfast, rice cakes as a morning snack, soup mid-morning, soup and rice-cakes for lunch (yes it does get a bit repetitive!) and noodles and fruit for an early dinner before hiding in the bed to try and block out the nausea... I'm drinking ginger tea in the mornings, trying to sip on water regularly throughout the day, I'm definitely hydrated. I'm getting plenty of fresh air and I've been getting early nights :( has anyone tried the pressure bands? And did someone on here mention a certain type of folic acid helps? The vitamins I'm on are methylfolate.. bleh

@Whiffle77 I know what you mean. I love my job and most of my clients and I'm really committed to them. I like most of my colleagues too, nothing much to complain about, I realise it's a happy place to be. However, I can now see my normal working involves a lot more stress than I thought. I completely agree with @Knotemma, I could easily do at least 2 days from home at on a weekly basis. I just wonder how I'd combine normal work with being a mum, we have no family in good health around us to help out if needed and I just don't want to feel overstretched and rushed off my feet all the time. I want to be a good mum. I actually think the solution might be to reduce the hours or at least compress them first, before deciding on a career change. I too have no idea what I could do. I had some thoughts. What have you been thinking about?

@SunStruck My DH is coping worse than me too. I think he'd struggle if he wasn't allowed to go to work at all. I think you're right, we all might think differently when the babies arrive. I'm sure all the mums on here would be able to say how their outlook has changed, it would be interesting to read 😊

@MOGMOGMOG85 don't stress about a limited diet... I had 7 weeks where I cod only stomach white toast, chicken flavour super noodles and ready salted crisps. The bean will steal everything it needs from you. Go easy on the ginger, I found it made me way worse. Might be worth trying to have a Rennie or a bit of gaviscon, the nausea could be indigestion related. And try to take your vitamins with a meal, I found that really helped. My main recommendation is stick to little and often, avoid anything too acidic (orange juice, tomatoes, pickled/vinegary stuff) and just get down whatever you can. If it gets unmanageable give your gp a shout, there is loads of pregnancy safe antiemetics (I had 3 types at one point) and they can really help. I also found squash/ flavoured water much easier to get down than plain water... No idea why though

@SunStruck when I had my son I was only 17 so had no career, I really focused on going to uni and getting my degree and became a nurse and used to work all the shifts what ever I was given. My son used to really struggle in school (have later got a diagnosis of autism) and was behind in most subject. When I went on may leave with my daughter, being there most days, a consistent routine etc helped him get to the top of the class in most areas. The difference was crazy. At that point rather then my focus being to work up the chain my view point was work had to fit around my family. I started then dropping my hours from full time to 30 (so 1shift a week) and only doing nights. That way I still earnt more from the unsocial hours, and worked fri-sun with my hours compressed into 3 shifts. I've done that now for 7years. It's worked well around having 3 kids on my own and not having a supportive family. My little ones only used to do 2 days a week at nursery and I'm always there for them at school runs.
What ever you do there is always an element of sacrifice, whether that's your future career, how much money you bring in, stress levels, in my case sleep deprivation lol, etc. I may have done things differently if I had more involved family or support system. By doing nights on weekends the only quality time I get with my little ones now they are all at school is school holidays. Mon-fri is a rush of school runs, after school clubs and homework. So I'm loving lockdown for that reason. But when they were little it was the perfect solution.
I guess it's trying to identify who you've got, what you want, the balance of work against costs of nursery and trying to find what works best for you in terms of the pros and cons