I want another baby but Fiancé doesn't want another right now

[misstiff]

Hello all,

Im 22, and my partner is 27 I'm really suck and conflicted. We already have a son nearly two. But I want another. My partner doesn't want to have one just yet and I don't want to pressure him into having another Baby I don't work so he's does everything for me and my son which I always show him gratitude. So we have come to an agreement to try on 28th of March( yes he's told me when we can try and not when I wanted to) originally he told me to wait until after the holiday which is in may to try but I think it's rediculous that a man is telling me when I should carry his child! I love him but I don't want to force him to have another child with me when he's not ready. He says if I wait then I'm not getting what I want and if he gives me what I want he doesn't want it just yet it's a lose lose situation

Arietty it's not about that is it? To cram so many MN pet hates into one little post is just a bit too obvious

Yes we have thought about getting married and we obviously do

Some people on here are really horrible and forget once they were 22

I think too many people realise how much time you have to complete your family. Another month or year doesn't matter at your age.

I've suggested the registry office to get married he said no he wants to do it properly as you only get married one( his words)

But have you set a date yet?

There’s a report button if you have doubts crusty.

Otherwise, play nice.

She is 22 and frustrated and in a screaming hurry to get her life going.

No, no date set!

Why on earth would I make this shit up?

Why haven't you set a date? Try doing that first.

If you have doubts don't fucking respond. This is real life and my life I don't need someone questioning if it's real or not

I believe you.

No 🤣🤣 everyone is remembering how they were at 22.

So you realise 22 is young, yet your still not accepting advice?

I was you. Had my first at 18 so slightly younger. Could not WAIT to have my second as my boy was growing up out of the baby stage.

Me and my boys dad broke up when I was 23. He's a fantastic dad, and we are still great friends. And he is a huge huge support. But I am so glad we didn't decide to have two or three.

You are both young, there's no harm in waiting until you are both ready. If he's committed to trying in April there's no rush to push for a month early.

Odd post

If it's for real no you shouldn't just go ahead and start producing more kids if your DP isn't fully on board.

Don't get the relevance of the March versus April thing

I thought poeple on here are nice, but most of these comments( not all) are just judging me. You may not understand what I have written. Maybe it came out wrong. Or that I don't have the right words to write but I don't need poeple bashing me

Why don’t you set a date as the next thing? It’s weird how marriage can make both of you feel steadier (and I say that as someone who only - at the time - married because it mattered to DH.)

It's like you are having a strop because he wants to go Christmas shopping on November 2nd rather than the 1st.

Not much difference between March and April so why wait and not try now but that's just me being impatient

I'll guess I'll just have to wait till end of March to try as that's the date he picked
You mean you’ll have to wait 28 whole days? My, but how on earth will you manage?

Yes you do sound a bit impatient

I'll mention getting married, at the registry office agian but he will say no as he has too much pride to go to a place like that

Not much difference between March and April so why wait and not try now but that's just me being impatient

But you can just as easily say “Not much difference between March and April so why NOT wait?”.

They are both equally valid opinions.

Your impatience is massively obvious

Seriously, please set a date first. If he starts stalling then please don't get pregnant right now. I am always suspicious of men who want to do the right thing but have children first. Too many of them don't marry the mother.

Just my experience as a 40 year old. I've seen a lot of breakups of couples I met in our twenties who I thought would stay together. Most break up.

I'll mention getting married, at the registry office agian but he will say no as he has too much pride to go to a place like that

Whaaaat?

A place like what?

If your local RO is an ugly building, pick a pretty one a bit further away. You can choose any one you like.

He doesn't like the place at all. He thinks if you want to get married do it properly and once

I think it's rediculous that a man is telling me when I should carry his child

He isn't telling you that. He's telling you he's not ready yet. You are being immature and selfish. You are equal parties in this - he is working and you are working too, caring for your child.

He isn't ready. If you weren't ready, would you feel it was ok for a partner to push and push and push despite you making your feelings clear?

March vs April? If you're making as big a deal of that as you seem to be then you're being totally disrespectful of your partner.

A partnership means listening to each other and working as a team. He sounds like a good dad and a decent guy. Your view on this is totally unreasonable.

You do sound younger than you are because as you know by now, parenthood is a complex thing. It's hard enough when a couple is aligned and on the same page, let alone when the dynamic is you saying "well I want it now and I get to decide."

You say he's a great guy. You're bullying him into a huge, life changing decision. With all due respect... grow up.