I want another baby but Fiancé doesn't want another right now

[misstiff]

Hello all,

Im 22, and my partner is 27 I'm really suck and conflicted. We already have a son nearly two. But I want another. My partner doesn't want to have one just yet and I don't want to pressure him into having another Baby I don't work so he's does everything for me and my son which I always show him gratitude. So we have come to an agreement to try on 28th of March( yes he's told me when we can try and not when I wanted to) originally he told me to wait until after the holiday which is in may to try but I think it's rediculous that a man is telling me when I should carry his child! I love him but I don't want to force him to have another child with me when he's not ready. He says if I wait then I'm not getting what I want and if he gives me what I want he doesn't want it just yet it's a lose lose situation

I think that you should get married first. You're too vulnerable now.

And a month can make a massive difference with age gaps, work load, finances etc

I'm not vulnerable situation. He's not the type to fuck off and not take care of his kids. He's a good dad and person.

Or am I bit silly right now?

Thanks for all your opinions maybe I'm being a bit impatient. But I'll wait until the end of March and I won't bring it up with him agian( trying to change the date we try lol)

VERY silly. But your 22. We've all been there

They're all a good dad until they they're not. Also if your pressuring him into another baby he doesn't really want that will have a massive toll on your relationship. Maybe not straight away but read the tons of posts all over relationships where the husband leaves / has an affair they often say stuff like I didn't actually want more kids you made me I've been unhappy for years

Nobody ever thinks their partner is the type to F off and leave his kids, but you just never know for sure and it's best to be prepared. Being married and having a job, even part time, is just an easy way to protect yourself should the worst happen. Chances are, it wont, but I wouldnt want to risk it

You sound too young/immature for one child let alone two.

He doesn’t want another one yet ( is the first his as it’s not entirely clear ?). Therefore you wait or chose to leave - those are your options.

I dont quite get your point - if he wanted to make you wait a year that’s ok but not a month ? He could say no to another child for any reason at all - it’s his decision and any reason he has is valid. You should not be trying to force him to adhere to your timescale. Think about how you’d feel if the situation was reversed.

You claim you do t want to force him but it sounds to me like you clearly do. It’s generally accepted in these situations that the views of the person who doesn’t want a child take precedence. The other person can then chose to wait or leave. It’s not fair to force a child in someone who is not ready or doesn’t want one !

Yes our son is his. No one else's lol

Get yourselves down to the registry office asap and make it legal.

I honestly don’t get your problem or your way of thinking.

You really want another baby, he doesn’t. Nevertheless he has agreed to start trying at a set date in the very near future. Now you’re moaning that this isn’t good enough.

WTAF???

This has sod all to do with being driven or wanting to get kids over soon so you can continue your career. As one month in that scenario is neither here nor there. It’s about you needing to get your own way or else throwing a massive strop. You are acting like a spoiled selfish brat.

You just have to wait! It took my ex 4 years to agree to our second baby!

I've suggested the registry office to get married he said no he wants to do it properly as you only get married one( his words)

If you were 42, not 22 then you might have a point, but seriously, just wait until he's genuinely ready.

Given howuch time you've got, it's far more sensible to wait until after the holiday anyway, because who wants to be on holiday with morning sickness and a high risk of miscarriages, when you could just wait a month or two.

Given your age, and lack of experience/likely qualifications (given you got pregnant with your first the time most young women are doing a levels), it's really important to get married to protect yourself. If anything happened to the relationship, you'd be extremely vulnerable otherwise.

And that's not me criticising you being a young mum - that's your choice and it's fine, but the reality is that if you split, you'd likely struggle to get a job paying more than minimum wage, and you'd likely end up surviving on benefits (nursery for 2 would cost more than your income).

Why not have a quick wedding (you could even do it before your holiday if you really wanted, and make it a honeymoon), and then come back to this is a few month/year or so. Either way, given your position, getting either married or some work experience (or both) before you have a second will put you in a much better position.

"Rediculous, brought and stuff :/"

This isn't real 😂

Oh my! Came here innocently. Asking for advice and end up getting called a selfish brat and that I'm immature for one child. Woooooow

I'm not vulnerable situation. He's not the type to fuck off and not take care of his kids. He's a good dad and person.

Look at the relationship board. Everyone thinks the same before they get dumped/cheated on/abandoned with no child support.

I'm not vulnerable situation. He's not the type to fuck off and not take care of his kids. He's a good dad and person.

OP, the greatest strength on MN is you get to post at the age of 22, and I get to post at the age of 44, and we both get the benefit of this huge repository of women who are older, wiser than we are who have been there, done it, fucked it up, been fooled, rescued themselves from disasters and everything else you can imagine.

We know you do not feel vulnerable, but the facts say that - legally - you are.

Be smart.

Rediculous, brought and stuff :/"

This isn't real 😂

You’re not the SPAG police @crustycrab

Be respectful.

The end of March is hardly a long way away!

Seriously it is best if a couple agrees on when to have children. However he can't be that much against the idea if he is thinking of trying late this month.

Sometimes I do feel guilty that I don't work and that I rely on him for everything but I always tell him how grateful I am. Urgh I dunno

Some people on here are really horrible and forget once they were 22

Do you intend to get married? Just asking! Maybe old fashioned but with a two year old and a home together I would think tying the knot might have been considered before pressurising for another baby. Lots won’t agree in this modern age but it’s a thought I felt like throwing in.

I'm not vulnerable situation. He's not the type to fuck off and not take care of his kids. He's a good dad and person.

Literally Nobody has kids with someone who they think might fuck off. But still almost half of all marriages fail and even more of the cohabiting couples fail. Don't be a fool.