Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 2

[Avocuddles]

Just setting up a new thread to keep the 🌈 conversation going....

Hi Ladies,

I hope it's ok if I join? I had a miscarriage on the 8th Feb at just under 7 weeks and amazingly have found myself pregnant again but am only around 4+ weeks; although I've not actually had a proper period since.

To top things off, I have a large complex cyst on my left ovary and was advised not to try again until we knew exactly what is was, although they suspect it to be related to endometriosis but it's not yet confirmed. By the time we had received this advice re not trying, it was already too late although it was unbeknownst to us at the time! I'm super happy to be pregnant again so soon but very scared re the implications because of the cyst. I'm also absolutely petrified that something will go wrong with the baby and have been debating joining this group incase I somehow 'jinx' things. Last time I was pregnant I was part of a Facebook group set up from a Mumsnet chat and it was absolutely heartbreaking leaving the group following the miscarriage. Hoping for better luck this time! Xx

@Knotemma thank you for the link. I will give it a go, hopefully it’s going to stop raining soon, so I can get out walking even if it’s just round a park. I’ve got a good network of friends who all know, a so felt I needed people to talk to and they are keeping an eye on me.

@SammiLou2312 congratulations on your 12 week milestone 🥰

Is anyone else having anxiety from the lack of symptoms?

@rachelrainbow congratulations, and welcome! Don’t worry your not alone with the worry and anxiety of the unknown. My emotions flicker between happy, worried, scared...

@LouLouP7 Congratulations on your rainbow baby. I also have a cyst on my right, but they’ve told me now to worry too much, although that’s easier said than done. They are supposedly quite common in pregnancy due to the fluctuating hormone levels.

Hi there, sorry for the long post.. I am 22 and have just experienced 3 miscarriages since October, all ending at 5-6 weeks, haven't been able to detect a heartbeat.. I always miscarry before. They were unplanned, but I was so happy to be pregnant all times and was devastated when they resulted in losses... I am a healthy weight, no health problems that I’m aware of. My GP has been very unhelpful and isn’t really taking me seriously due to my age, therefore I’m not being able to get tests for anything. I am feeling really lost and depressed over this. Has anyone experienced 3/+ miscarriages and gone on to have a healthy pregnancy? I am deeply concerned as I have always wanted kids and now fear I won’t be able to. Is anyone able to advise? I also empathize and wish every woman the best who is experiencing this. Xx

Hi all. Sorry to see so many new faces here but glad you've found this lovely friendly and supportive group.

@N222 regardless of your age you should be eligible for recurrent miscarriage investigations after three losses if you are now actively trying to conceive. If your GP is unsupportive then ask if you can speak to another doctor at the practice. I'm 36 and have had two miscarriages; I'm now pregnant for the third time and will be 11 weeks tomorrow, it's been a scary ride but hoping this might be the one. I've not been under the miscarriage clinic as 'only' had two, but have been fortunate to enough to have support as a result of fertility issues and other underlying health conditions. It's not always easy to get help but don't give up asking for it. The odds are still in your favour that things will work our next time but I hope that you can at least get the ball rolling with some investigations or get a plan of action in place for your next pregnancy. Good luck!

@LouLouP7 this is the perfect group to join as we are all in the same scary boat. I haven't joined any of the 'due in' type groups in my second or third pregnancy as like you I found it heartbreaking leaving when I had my first miscarriage. If my next scan goes well then I might venture onto one of the Facebook groups but it's so hard to be around those naively optimistic first timers when you've experienced one or more losses.
Have you spoken to your doctor since you found out you were pregnant? I hope all will be ok and that they can give you some reassurance around the cyst.

@rachelrainbow I know exactly what you mean about lacking certainty and not being able to stop thinking about the pregnancy. The first few weeks went incredibly slowly, I've had scans at 7 and 9 weeks which both looked good but the reassurance from them is only ever temporary and I'm now feeling very nervous about my next one on the 19th. Have the EPU offered to scan you again?

@SammiLou2312 congrats on reaching the 12 week milestone! Eight days until I get there, psychologically it feels like it will be a big achievement even though I know nothing is ever guaranteed.....

@Avocuddles Thank you very much for your support, I really hope everything goes well for you!! After hearing my miscarriage history, do think its possible for me to still be able to have a healthy pregnancy? I’m not sure if people with recurrent miscarriage go on to have babies, I don’t know much xx

@N222 yes, absolutely. During this journey I have come across many women who have had three or more losses and gone on to have a successful pregnancy. Your age is on your side as it means you have lots of opportunities to have any tests or investigations that might be deemed necessary. As you've had multiple losses in very quick succession it might be a good idea to take a break from trying to conceive for a few months to give your body some time to heal and to see if you can get some help from your GP. It is very likely that eventually you will be holding your own baby in your arms, it's just a longer journey for some of us than others....

This is been so supportive @Avocuddles I really appreciate it! I have felt so depressed about it, yes I’m thinking about taking a couple years off to focus on some mental health and then will try to conceive then! Thank you very much, I hope you get to hold your baby soon xxx

@DressingGown87 thank you for the reassurance! Hopefully all will be well and the cyst is nothing too sinister.

@Avocuddles yeah, I'm the same. I think I might reconsider the groups in the future but for now I'm so glad I've found this thread. I've not spoken to the doctor yet although I know I really need to. I think I'm putting it off a little bit because I'm scared to actually admit I'm pregnant incase something goes wrong and/or it really complicates things. Not that burying my head in the sand will help! I don't think it's really sunk in that I'm actually pregnant yet either...

Hi ladies, how's everyone feeling?

Welcome all the new ladies! ❤️

@SammiLou2312 congrats on hitting the elusive milestone!! How do you feel?

@knotemma I agree in regards to sharing the news! I'm a very private person too, and after 2 miscarriages I'm quite pessimistic tbh. We will tell closest family after the 12 week scan, two close friends after we get the NIPT results back if all looks fine and the rest of our friends after the 20 week scan if that looks fine (it is easier for us to avoid telling friends in the UK because we live abroad, so just planning on telling our 2 closest friends out here after the NIPT as it's difficult to always make up excuses to not go out socializing (when lots of drinks involved).

For work people I'll wait as long as possible/I can hide it. We are going on holiday when I'm 22 weeks, so pending on if I can hide it I'll tell work people after 😬

I went for the blood test today for the NIPT - we chose Panorama in the end as it tests for more than just the 3 most common trisomies (like Harmony and some of the other tests). The sample is sent to a US lab so going to take longer to ge the results back (10-14 working days). Already counting down!

@Avocuddles I also got a date for my 12 week scan (NT screening), next Tuesday (17th) 😱 And yours is on Thursday right?! A big week for us next week... fingers crossed for us both!

@SunStruck it's weird, I'm bouncing backwards and forwards about telling people. I think based on the 12 week scan and nuchal translucency test going well on Thursday we probably will. DH is getting increasingly confident and excited. I'm honestly not sure that he knows things can go wrong without any obvious signs, as my previous MCs I've always had bleeding) spotting rather than MMC. Honestly I'm just going to wait and see how I feel.

@SammiLou2312 congratulations on hitting the 12 week mark, that will be me tomorrow and I have to admit I'm starting to let myself feel a bit excited.

Welcome to all our new ladies, I'm sorry that you've had difficult times getting here and hope that this is your rainbow

@SunStruck yes mine is Thursday 19th!

Re telling people, we haven't told either of our families yet as didn't want to get their hopes up but if the scan gets well we'll send them a scan photo inside their Mother's Day cards. DHs mum is a bit of a Facebook addict so we'll have to have words with her about not putting things on social media....I know it'll drive her mad but we really don't want any kind of announcement - I might subtly let slip by posting a photo with an obvious bump come the third trimester but definitely nothing pre 20 weeks.

A few friends know already but I'll tell the rest as and when I see them. As for work, my line manager has known from pretty much the start, I'll probably tell the rest of the team fairly soon as we're planning various work trips away later in the year which I (hopefully) won't be going on, and it might take a little stress off of me as things are really busy at the moment.... we'll wait and see though, it's all still hypothetical as we currently stand.....

@SunStruck part of me is getting stupidly excited while the rest of me is still terrified that something will go wrong again... Think I will feel better after Thursdays scan, although I still think I'll be worrying something will go wrong until little Pip turns 18 haha!
@Knotemma glad you are starting to feel a little more excited about it and congrats for your milestone tomorrow x

Can't wait to see all the scan pics from the upcoming scans over next couple weeks 😍

@SammiLou2312 thank you! Hope it sticks too. And of course good luck with your prevnancy hitting 12 weeks is amazing and I’m sure reassuring In some way. I know it’s so comforting to know I’m not alone in the way I’m feeling And what I’ve been through! Thank you!

Evening all! Welcome to the new faces

I have had horrendous indigestion ALL DAY and it doesn't help that OH is unwell too! Ended up at out of hours with him yesterday, flu and a chest infection!

A poorly household here!!

@Rachael321 that doesn't sound fun. I hope that both of you feel better soon.

DH just rang me to complain about his work van...I'd been asleep for 2 hours and I'm not sure I made sense or took in anything he said for the first 5 minutes of the conversation. His number is the only one that gets past my do not disturb that o have set up for evening and night time to try and get more sleep... So of course he's taken to ringing me, when normally he would text 🙈😂. He's lovely though so that ok

Interesting to hear what everyone else will do about telling people, and good to know I'm not the only one not quite believing I've got so far at the moment!

Have a question (as I forgot to ask the Dr), do you get the nuchal screening results straight away in that appointment? Or does it take a few days (because they will take bloods to check the PAPP-A and hcg if I'm correct, and then give you a combined result)? So surely they must test the blood and it will take a few days, or will they know pretty much when you're there already if it's looking good or not (due to the NT measurement)?

@SunStruck they can tell you straight away if the nuchal is high or not. The combined testing comes a bit later. They'll send a letter.
The nuchal measurement should be below 3.5 if I remember correctly. With our ds1 it was 2.1 and with DS2 (Who had a chromosomal issue) it was 5.3.

I can't quite believe it's here, but I'm updating our list with my 12 week update. Got a bit emotional reading my app this morning, I can't believe we've got this far.

@teaandtantrums90 5wks (due 07/11/20)
@DressingGown87 7wks (23/10/20)
@Hagster 7wks (due 19/10/20)⁣
@seaduck 7wks (due 18/10/20)
@tmc14 8wks (due 15/10/20)
@Aria2015 8wks
@Treaclepie19 10wks (due 04/10/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 10wks (due 03/10/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 10wks with twins⁣ (due 02/10/20)
@Littlegoth 10wks (due 01/10/20)
@TunnocksTcake 10wks (due 01/10/20)
@SunStruck 10wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Scout20 10wks (due 29/09/20)
@avocuddles 10wks (due 28/09/20)
@LilMrsS 11wks (due 24/09/20)
@Knotemma 12 wks⁣ (due 21/09/20)
@SammiLou2312 12wks⁣ (due 20/09/20)
@Hoping2020 12wks (due 18/09/20)
@UrsulaSings 13 wks (due 07/09/20)
@Pugmum19 14wks (due 31/08/20)
@Rachael321 16wks (due 20/08/20)
@Bellsx 16wks (due 20/08/20)

@Treaclepie19 thanks for the info :)

I'll update the list:

@teaandtantrums90 5wks (due 07/11/20)
@DressingGown87 7wks (23/10/20)
@Hagster 7wks (due 19/10/20)⁣
@seaduck 7wks (due 18/10/20)
@tmc14 8wks (due 15/10/20)
@Aria2015 8wks
@Treaclepie19 10wks (due 04/10/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 10wks (due 03/10/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 10wks with twins⁣ (due 02/10/20)
@Littlegoth 10wks (due 01/10/20)
@TunnocksTcake 10wks (due 01/10/20)
@SunStruck 11 (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Scout20 10wks (due 29/09/20)
@avocuddles 10wks (due 28/09/20)
@LilMrsS 11wks (due 24/09/20)
@Knotemma 12 wks⁣ (due 21/09/20)
@SammiLou2312 12wks⁣ (due 20/09/20)
@Hoping2020 12wks (due 18/09/20)
@UrsulaSings 13 wks (due 07/09/20)
@Pugmum19 14wks (due 31/08/20)
@Rachael321 16wks (due 20/08/20)
@Bellsx 16wks (due 20/08/20)

Sorry:

@teaandtantrums90 5wks (due 07/11/20)
@DressingGown87 7wks (23/10/20)
@Hagster 7wks (due 19/10/20)⁣
@seaduck 7wks (due 18/10/20)
@tmc14 8wks (due 15/10/20)
@Aria2015 8wks
@Treaclepie19 10wks (due 04/10/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 10wks (due 03/10/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 10wks with twins⁣ (due 02/10/20)
@Littlegoth 10wks (due 01/10/20)
@TunnocksTcake 10wks (due 01/10/20)
@SunStruck 11wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Scout20 10wks (due 29/09/20)
@avocuddles 10wks (due 28/09/20)
@LilMrsS 11wks (due 24/09/20)
@Knotemma 12 wks⁣ (due 21/09/20)
@SammiLou2312 12wks⁣ (due 20/09/20)
@Hoping2020 12wks (due 18/09/20)
@UrsulaSings 13 wks (due 07/09/20)
@Pugmum19 14wks (due 31/08/20)
@Rachael321 16wks (due 20/08/20)
@Bellsx 16wks (due 20/08/20)

Hi, wonder if I can join...I have 5y dd and had a MMC 2y ago..currently 19w5d preg with a little boy, ivf baby. This is our last try, as I’m 45. We are incredibly lucky the ivf worked as I only had about 1% chance at my age..but I’m constantly worried something will go wrong. I kind of feel scared to enjoy it as worried I’ll jinx it somehow, I know silly but can’t help it. We only told few people few weeks ago, some reactions were nice some people were shocked with questions “aren’t you worried at your age”, which doesn’t help, they have no idea how worried I am, they don’t know about mmc. We didn’t even tell people it’s ivf. I have my 29w scan on wed and quite anxious. 12w scan was ok and also had harmony test privately but I’m just constantly worried something will go wrong..sorry didn’t mean to be negative..We are very excited, hoping it will be all fine.

Updating myself to 11 weeks!

@teaandtantrums90 5wks (due 07/11/20)
@DressingGown87 7wks (23/10/20)
@Hagster 7wks (due 19/10/20)⁣
@seaduck 7wks (due 18/10/20)
@tmc14 8wks (due 15/10/20)
@Aria2015 8wks
@Treaclepie19 10wks (due 04/10/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 10wks (due 03/10/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 10wks with twins⁣ (due 02/10/20)
@Littlegoth 10wks (due 01/10/20)
@TunnocksTcake 10wks (due 01/10/20)
@SunStruck 11wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Scout20 10wks (due 29/09/20)
@avocuddles 11wks (due 28/09/20)
@LilMrsS 11wks (due 24/09/20)
@Knotemma 12 wks⁣ (due 21/09/20)
@SammiLou2312 12wks⁣ (due 20/09/20)
@Hoping2020 12wks (due 18/09/20)
@UrsulaSings 13 wks (due 07/09/20)
@Pugmum19 14wks (due 31/08/20)
@Rachael321 16wks (due 20/08/20)
@Bellsx 16wks (due 20/08/20)

@fool11 welcome! Your story is very encouraging, it's fantastic that the IVF has worked for you and that you're almost 20 weeks now. It's natural to be nervous, we're all familiar with that awkward tension between excitement and terror. Yes things can go wrong, but by this point the odds are very much in your favour that you will be bringing your son home. I really hope Wednesday goes well for you xx

Thank you @Avocuddles. We take it day by day..7m ago I was absolutely devastated when I was told by one consultant that Im too old and that’s the end for me unless we want to try with a donor eggs, which wasn’t an option for me. It’s scary and very sad knowing there there would never be another chance, another try. I guess I’m worried as I know that the quality of my eggs is prob rubbish..really hoping baby will be healthy.

Are you having your 12w scan next week? Hope all goes well for you x

Yes next Thursday for the 12 weeks scan @fool11. I've already had them at 7 and 9 weeks but two whole weeks have passed since then so I'm going a bit stir crazy!!!! It's wonderful that you've conceived with your own eggs. I'm crossing everything for you.....