Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 2

[Avocuddles]

Just setting up a new thread to keep the 🌈 conversation going....

Thank you everyone for your support earlier - it is really making a difference talking to people. I decided not to tell my therapist this time. I'm seeing her for work-related anxiety rather than anything to do with the PG so we still had a really good discussion and it was good to be thinking about things in the future that aren't to do with this. @didslysquiddlydoo I do know you're right - why don't I want to tell her? I'll unpick that later - I just didn't feel ready today!

@Shefliesonherownwings I can't begin to imagine what that is like for you. I hope everything is going well. If it feels right to speak to your therapist do, you will probably still need her support if everything goes well (which I hope it does).

@DressingGown87 Good that you're getting support. I hope you're OK at home?

@knotemma thanks! I'll look into that. It's weird - same as you I was taking folic acid while TTC (2 years ish on it) and no problems. As soon as I got PG I started taking PG vitamins and started feeling sick. I went back onto just folic acid after MC but still felt sick. I stopped taking that for 2 weeks in Feb to recover but as soon as I started it again I felt sick again (even before this PG). So strange! I'll keep taking it of course but it sucks having felt sick pretty much every day since December when I'm only 6 weeks along now!

@Aria2015 congrats on your scan!

Wow so many messages to catch up on today!

@Knotemma @SammiLou2312 @TunnocksTcake
@Anon20something thanks for sharing your lovely bump pics, all coming on very nicely! @Knotemma I think I'm not far behind you bump wise but was about a stone overweight to start with so finding it hard to tell and definitely nothing worth posting! @SunStruck I don't think I've put on any weight yet (although been eating a LOT of biscuits since I got my sense of taste back so that may quickly change....)

@Ldawg @AnxiousLady1 @Mimba1
welcome! Many of us have been here from as early as 4 or 5 weeks so hopefully it will give you some comfort to see how far we've come on our journeys so far. This is such a welcoming and supportive group and has really been a godsend for me over the past ten weeks. I'm still checking my knickers now at almost 15 weeks though, not sure I'll ever get past that after two losses.....
I'm nowhere near ready to contemplate buying a pram or decorating a nursery - maybe once I'm past 20 or 24 weeks i might start to get that confidence, but definitely not there yet.

@Mimba1 it's definitely worth talking to your counsellor about the pregnancy as and when you feel ready, as you say it's the biggest thing in your life right now so seems natural that it will come up at some point. I had some counselling sessions after my second miscarriage and found it very useful to get my fears out into the open.

@tmc14 congrats on reaching the 12 week milestone! It's sad that your husband won't be able to attend the scan but hopefully you'll leave with some lovely photos to share. We'll all be thinking of you....

@Aria2015 great scan photo! My measurement was also 2.2mm which is apparently well within normal. My bloods came back within a week with very low risk which further put my mind at ease. So glad everything is looking good for you.

@Rachael321 your photo is so cute! Glad you have a happy wriggly baby. Halfway there now....

@Knotemma hope your Friday spotting has stopped now and that you manage to have a nice relaxed weekend.

Sunday is supposed to be gloriously sunny so I hope you all get to enjoy it - even if just for your one government sanctioned 'exercise hour'.....

@Avocuddles thanks, it seems to have completely stopped again... So it's officially Friday afternoon spotting... Very weird, but let's face it I do nothing by halves 🤦

Thank you to everyone for your warm welcomes! Your comments have been really reassuring; I'm a bit more hopeful things will get better and will try and stop reading into everything! Obviously easier said than done! It is also so nice to see all of your lovely bumps and scan photos!

@Knotemma Glad it stopped again! It's honestly so perplexing that it's same time every week. I'd be interested to know what your midwife says when you do end up telling her that!

I was feeling relatively okay this morning/afternoon (and of course worrying nausea was disappearing). Decided to go with DH in the car to pick something up (as I'd not left the house in a week). Worst. Idea. Ever. More sick than Ive been yet. Needless to say I will not be setting foot in or near a car again for a while...

Hi everyone!

I found out I was expecting March 2nd. Confirmed pregnancy March 6th. My boyfriend and I were really excited. Saturday, March 7th things took a turn. Just that fast! We went to ER as that's what they say when you see blood. We had intercourse that morning and shortly after, I noticed the bleeding. We were at the ER for 6 hours they said I was too early to show anything on ultrasound, however, I was just hitting the 6 week mark and they didn't give me any information other then to follow up with my ob-gyn. SO, Monday rolls around, I get paperwork for lab work. Long story short, my hormone levels dropped rapidly and they confirmed the miscarriage. But I knew, I had expelled the sac and was in denial about it until I got he final word from my doctor. It was a sad time but we are eager to try again. Now, I haven't had my cycle yet since the miscarriage, however, we have had intercourse and I have been having the same symptoms that I had when I found out around this time last month. I have heard many different stories and opinions on how pregnancy may or may not be possible this soon. Either way, we are praying for our rainbow.

Congratulations to everyone who has already gotten theirs!

@Avocuddles haha I am eating chocolate everyday now, I wouldn't say it's a craving but I just really feel for it (and in the lack of wine, chocolate is the next best option 😄😄). I hope this habit will stop soon!

@Rachael321 wow already half way! I can't wait to get to that point - what a lovely scan picture 🥰 congratulations!

@Treaclepie19 best way to lose a bit so you can eat more later 😉 no I'm joking; sickness is really horrible to have! Hope you're feeling better soon. I still feel sick some days (NOTHING like when I was 7-12 weeks though), so it's not completely gone but much more manageable!

@Aria2015 lovely scan photo, i am guessing a girl!!! 👧🏻 🥰

@Anon20something I completely understand how you feel but try remember this is a completely different pregnancy with a different egg and different sperm. The odds are completely different!

Ok here goes my belly photo! I just look like I've eaten too much cake 😑 which is sort of true in quarantine, I'm baking and eating my creations 😅 15 weeks on Monday, hopefully a bump will appear soon!

@SunStruck the funny thing is I've only actually been sick once!
I'm 13+3 now. I remember with my 4yo it carried on until coming up to 20 weeks 😔
Like you say though, I can lose it now and then not worry when I eat the world in the 3rd trimester 😂

Oops sent too soon! Lovely bump :)

Welcome @BeBeMePlease

I've got such a pain in my rib this morning. Not really sure what to do with it 😩

@SunStruck you look amazing!

I know it’s totally different and this baby doesn’t have it, it just hard! Had such a rollercoaster with lily, we were told from 16-30 weeks that everything was fine so I had everything ready, her nursery, everything so it’s hard trying to shake the fear of that up and down rollercoaster again! Just so scary isn’t it!

Hi ladies hope you are all keeping safe and well. I had my 20 week scan yesterday and it was hard having to go in on my own but it was so nice to see baby again and they made me feel at ease explaining everything to me,wearing the correct masks and gloves,adhering to the social distancing rule and she told me that everything had been wiped down and was before each patient so that was all good to hear. The sonographer was able to get all the measurements she needed (even though baby was being a wriggly little tinker and I had to do a bit of jumping up and down and swinging of the hips to get him to move for one of them) and all was as it should be which was such a relief and I got some nice pics to share with my partner,daughter and family.

Hi everyone, can I join?

I just got my bfp today at 4 weeks. This is my second pregnancy, I'm coming up to 35 and we've been ttc for no. 1 for 2 years. Fell pregnant after a long and painful 16 months trying the first time but had an MMC which I discovered at an early scan had stopped developing at 6 weeks. I miscarried naturally at 11 weeks - was in the hospital with very heavy bleeding but no intervention was necessary in the end.

It's been a long 7 months since the miscarriage - I'd say I was very depressed for about 4 months there just coming out of it a couple of months ago. I lost all hope and thought there must be something wrong with me because it took me so long.

Anyway I'm here now. Glad to be pregnant, but dreading in case the same thing happens. The next 2 months is going to be so hard. I think I will either ask midwives for or book an early scan between 8-10 weeks and if I can just see a heartbeat then I'll feel a million times better.

As far as I know there's nothing wrong with me and my miscarriage was just random bad luck. Don't know how I'll cope if it happens again...

Sorry to seem negative, I'm trying my best to focus on the good news and block all the worries out, it's hard though

xx

Oh yeah, not to mention that the prospect of being pregnant in a global pandemic and being scared to go out and can't see friends etc is a nightmare!

Can I ask how strict you guys are being with self isolating? I just went out for a lovely walk in the sunshine, as I live in a flat with no garden. It was so nice to be out and most people were keeping well away, but then walked past a couple of teenagers with a hacking cough who were glaring at us and coming in our space and it has really unnerved me. Maybe I should go out super early? I'm going to stop shopping, and I do work but as a gardener which is outside on my own so pretty safe. I'm good at washing my hands and not touching my face.

What a generally awful thing to add to the anxieties of already being pregnant and especially after a miscarriage though!

Hi @MOGMOGMOG85. Understand your anxiety, as will everyone on here. I had a similar situation to you with a MMC on first pregnancy. This is my second and currently at 9 weeks (first private scan at 7+5 went very well). I've read through a lot of the messages in this thread and already can see it is a great supportive group to be a part of. First few weeks will go quite slowly, but I believe some private clinics are still offering reassurance scans (depending where you are based). In the meantime share your concerns on here, as others have helpfully suggested I do. Xx

Hiya @MOGMOGMOG85 congratulations on your bfp 🌈 I remember you from the huddle thread. Its a nerve wracking time so completely understand how you feel.

I have been going out a little daily walk but just avoiding people when I see them and so far its been ok.

Hi @MOGMOGMOG85 I recognise your name, congratulations! I am just over 5 weeks so also only recently joined this group.
I'm being strict on isolating but doing a decent length walk every day (eating for England...) and avoiding people, my husband is doing all the shopping. Yes not a great time to get pregnant! But we are all in it together, and hopefully it wont be forever.
Lovely scan @Bellsx glad all ok!

@MOGMOGMOG85 hey congratulations! 🌈💜
I remember you as well i think, did you have a slightly shorter 'Mog' user name? All the best to you, you must be over the moon!

@Bellsx gorgeous photo, you must be relieved to have all those essential measurements done and dusted. Are you having a boy or a girl? Or are you waiting until the birth?

@Bellsx lovely scan picture, I'm so glad it went well, happy 20 weeks, congratulations on half way there!

Thanks @AnxiousLady1 - it hadn't occurred to me that private clinics might not be doing scans... I think I'll just have to try my luck with the midwives. I had such an awful experience at the private scan last time, the ultrasound tech didn't speak to me at all, not to welcome me or put me at ease. Then she just started internally scanning me and after a minute her assistant kindly reassured me that it sometimes takes a while to find it, but it just went on and on for minutes in total silence. Eventually I got the message something was wrong and tears were just falling down my face but she still didn't say anything for ages. She didn't locate the pregnancy at all so I was off to hospital terrified it was ectopic until the lovely wonderful ladies at the epu found my embryo effortlessly, explained everything, and were so so kind and reassuring to me.

@ChampooPapi @Whiffle77 and @MissSparkles81 yes I remember you! Whiffle looks like we're pretty close in terms of dates! God I have that sick feeling just thinking of the first scan... fingers crossed for all of us, I just need to work out ways to pass the time. At least I'm working still! xx

I've been holding it together really well so far but I feel like my symptoms are fading which is exactly what happened last time and I'm struggling today. Not tired anymore, boobs shrunk, nausea gone, not getting out of breath. This is exactly what happened at 6 weeks last time, I had a scan in wk 7 showing 5 wk foetus and miscarried at 8 weeks. I'm so scared it's happening again. I've heard of symptoms fluctuating and it being fine but not just fading. I feel like it's all over again and I don't know what to do. I guess there's nothing I can do except wait... I just feel like the clock is ticking and I need this to happen now. OH is trying to be supportive but just keeps saying we'll be fine just us and my Mum's religious, God's plan etc. It feels really lonely worrying so much about something that everyone else sees as trivial. Sorry, don't mean to be depressing, I think I just needed to get my thoughts down.

@Mimba1 my symptoms faded (and did not return) and things so far are still ok (I'm now 15 weeks). I know that probably won't ease your anxiety but I was also that person who had heard of symptoms fluctuating, and seeing lots of people say "give it a few days and they'll return and you'll soon be hoping they disappear again"... all of that just made it worse as the days went on and I felt completely fine... only now can I look back and feel lucky that I didn't experience all of those awful symptoms, but boy did it ramp up the anxiety. Thinking of you x

@Mimba1 I'm sorry you're feeling so worried. My embryo last time stopped developing at 6 weeks and I know it's going to be such a tough time when I get there I'm going to be looking for signs everywhere... you're right only time can tell, there's just no way of knowing :(

@didslysquiddlydoo that's so reassuring what happened to you - it does just go to show these symptoms are a nightmare in terms of playing with our head and often mean nothing. Hope it's reassured you a bit @Mimba1

@ChampooPapi thank you and we're having a boy. @Knotemma thank you it's such a relief to get another milestone out the way and for everything to be fine

Thanks @didslysquiddlydoo I don't think I'll ever stop worrying but that does give me hope at least. One day at a time...