Social services due to partner

[Bluesmum98]

I have social services involved due to my partner I also have had anxiety I saw my midwife today and she said I would need to be in the hospital longer as I'm under social services I'm petrified they will take baby as way from me it's my worst fear does what one have any experience with them

X post.

Op, it is good that you have support from your mum. Continue to engage fully with social care. If you have questions re contact when your baby arrives, ask your social worker. The contact will probably need to be supervised, however you should not be the one supervising it.

It's late op, try to get some sleep. If you are feeling worried, stressed or anxious, make a GP appointment to talk it through.

And I don't think Iv had a name change fail I think my names fine actually thank you very much for trying to make a smart comment
^ The PP was referring to the fact you started off this thread logged in as Bluesmum98 and then changed your username halfway through.

@redred9 I don't see how that's a nail fail to be honest I changed my name what's your point as iv sad again I'm not ashamed or embarrassed or have anything to hide

What do you want from this thread?
Sounds like you want to hear that you are going home with your baby.

No one can tell you that.

But what they CAN tell you is that as long as you have this man in your life you are risking losing your baby.

Do you use drugs?

Do you work, op?

I changed my name what’s your point

It’s the third name change in 24 hours.

Thanks for all your help , I've taken some of it in but also realised that their are some externally frightening personalities on here . My child will not be taken away from me which will be a shame to some people ( I find this really odd to wish this on someone ) as my baby will be surrounded by love and care and have an amazing life . I have a wonderful family and I will get their in the end with my anxiety I have hope I am a very bright intelligent person with a kind heart and already love my baby so much . I have struggled with self esteem issues in the past and that's why I found it so hard to leave my relationship but it's getting easier and clearer for me each day . I'm not going to engage with anyone else on this thread as I'm just going to put my energy into organising my baby's stuff and reading a book and going to sleep . Please be kind if anyone else if going to start commenting to other people your words do really make a difference try not to be so judgmental as wish bad on others it doesn't make your life any better .

I did work yes I had a very good job I'm very well educated I went to six form then went to work for a commercial land property company before i got pregnant so that was bitter sweet as I had so much going on for me

No I do not use drugs I don't even smoke ciggeretes I barley drink

My child would never ever be in an unhealthy environment

The fact is that your child is going to be in an unhealthy environment if you continue to communicate with this man.

Fact:
You broke up when you were 3 months pregnant but got back together. SS will be thinking “will this break up be temporary too?” Especially as only yesterday you were referring to him as your boyfriend and saying you felt jealous when he mentioned his ex.

Fact:
He is abusive and into drugs. Is this something you want your baby to be around?

No one wants your baby taken from you.
Everyone has given there time to help you make the right decisions so that you have the best chance of keeping him.

Youre very rude, op. People were trying to help you. Youre just attacking people because it wasnt difficult to find out the lies, even with all the name changes.

You were living with your drug using abusive boyfriend yesterday. At some point this evening your mother has moved in permanently.

Youre lying to yourself more than anything, and that wont help you baby.

This is one of these cases where it's very clear that OP knows the score, knows the system and knows what SS intentions are, but is more concerned about strangers on here saying it as it is.

No point in lying to us or SS, they will catch you out and rightly so.

Your partner is a violent drug addict, do you really want that around your baby?

Actually I don't know "the system "
I've never even been arrested before iv never had any contact with social services and no one is trying to lie initially the social worker was only coming to me as a protocol after the police had been called it was me that was honest and told what was going on when I didn't have to

@summerrain34

I just struggle with cutting the contact with him and finding a balance of whether he can see the child or not

Delete his number and change yours, get off all social media, apply for a non-molestation order, do not put him on the birth certificate, give your child your surname, if he wants contact he can apply for it through the courts. He probably won't bother and eventually you'll be grateful he didn't. Because he's not going to change or get better. He is what he is. Don't prevaricate, just do it. Cut contact and end it. If you need to move, do that too. I have bo doubt your social worker has already referred you to an IDVA, I'm sure they have already told you the above. Now you need to do it.

I'm not a criminal I don't need to be caught out about anything I haven't done anything wrong

@ellabella1998
@Bluesmum98

As you are one and the same person makes sense to address you by both names.
You're asking for advice but not being truthful so we can get noyntell yu what you want to hear. You're still with your baby's father, who is a drug addict, violent, a cheat, coercive and controlling. Yet you're prepared to ignore all this.
That's a sure fire way to get the baby removed from your care. When a pp dares to suggest that n the situation you live removing the baby would be better, you go ballistic.
The only way to guarantee the baby isn't removed and adopted is to accept that this man is someone you need to keep well away from, for ever. You're not prepared to do that? Then you've put your desire for an an arse of a man before the needs of a helpless baby. It's a no brainer.

Good luck. You're going to need it!

The fact you are even questioning being away for a partner such as the one hour with says everything!
You automatically without thinking should cut all ties and any contact he wants with the bang he can try and gain that himself.

Your baby should be the MOST important thing in your life just now nothing else or no one else should matter.

Am 35 weeks now with my first baby and I would already kill for him.

Hope you get the help you need with this. ❤️

Oops first big didn’t make sense baby Brain... basically you shouldn’t even feel sorry for him atall

I'm not with him I struggle with not having contact but we are by no means together he relies on me and I find it hard creating a boundary my child is not going to be adopted and theirs nothing for social services to catch me out on as I don't have anything to hide which is why I have always been so honest with them about my situation when I didn't have to be

He is playing on that! If he knows you find it hard to cut contact he will grind you down!

Be strong for baby and kick him to the curb. You’re baby deserves that

You can be a brilliant mum OP, you know you can be but the boyfriend needs to go - for good. You need to cut him out of your life and let SS arrange contact with his son if they deem that to be suitable. They will work with you and all they really want is for you and your baby to be together and thrive together because babies need their mums OP, they really do. They need you as you, not a martyr to scum like your boyfriend.

He's cheated on you, he's a drug addict, he's a loser OP. I know that right now you are struggling to break that tie but listen to the PP that said she totally regrets staying involved with someone unsuitable and losing her children. Whatever pull you have to this idiot, it will ruin your life and your childs life. You DO NOT want to be 30 years old and only getting a postcard off your own child because you chose to stay in touch/stay with a total idiot loser. Please don't make decisions for your baby. Give your little one the best start with a mentally well mum that isn't connected to an abusive man. If you do this, in 5 years time when your little boy goes off to school, you will know that you did the right thing, that you did what you had to do for your child and that you are the best mum in the world for putting your child first and being able to stand there proudly saying 'I brought that boy up, he is my boy and always will be'. He will be such a happy child having a mum that made great decisions for him, even before he was born

I struggle with not having contact
he relies on me
I find it hard creating a boundary

And this is why you will need to work with social services. You don't sound very convinced of the need to stay away from this man and this is where the issues will lie.

Thank you that really did bring a tear to my eye . Just what I needed to hear so thankful their are some kind normal people on here xx