Social services due to partner

[Bluesmum98]

I have social services involved due to my partner I also have had anxiety I saw my midwife today and she said I would need to be in the hospital longer as I'm under social services I'm petrified they will take baby as way from me it's my worst fear does what one have any experience with them

OP if you intend to stay with your violent, abusive partner then yes, they will most likely remove your baby for his own protection.

@iwishitwassummer please stop commenting on this thread you are awful and anyone who agrees with what she is saying about she hopes they take my child away from me is as messed up as she is who on earth wishes that on someone I really hope you find a better way to deal with whatever hate you have in your heart then trying to make people who are in bad situations feel any worse . You could be externally triggering if I was in the same mental space I was in 3 years ago I mean seriously very dangerous human being their is being stern and giving advice and then theirs just being straight up nasty

So you’ve got it all sussed. Crack on then. Don’t know why you posted in the first place tbh. 🤷‍♀️

Why not take all the hate you are spewing and use it against the man who is causing you to maybe lose your baby?

It’s your baby boy who I feel sorry for.

Babies who are subject to child protection plan cannot be discharged after birth until there has been a pre discharge meeting. This is what the midwife is referring to.

Who's spewing hate ? Their has been people on here that have genuinely gave me some good advice no one is saying I should staying in an abusive relationship I just don't see what certain people's comments add to the situation their very negative And not helpful and as I said no one was embarrassed I just didn't feel it was nessesary to let my mood sink even lower by arguing with people on mumsnet

@summerrain34 I strongly suggest you get offline for your own mental well-being and more importantly for the well-being of your child. People have been very straight and clear with you as to what you need to do to keep your child. Get off the internet and start putting it into practice

You said yourself he’s a drug user who spends all his money on drugs, cheated on you when you were pregnant, gave you genital warts, his family have disowned him, he’s a lot older than you, still has stuff going on with an ex/maybe ex, has had the police called for domestic abuse, calls you names.

Your baby has a low weight- can’t you see that the stress of all of his behaviour could be the reason you baby is having physical delays even before birth?

Yes you feel sorry for him but the sooner you learn that you have to put the baby before him the better.

OP did you break up today? Yesterday? Or are you still together?

SS need to see a prolonged period of stability and safe choices. Take the day you break it off with him as day one and take it step by step from there.

Don’t get back with him - it’s an almost guaranteed way to have your baby taken away.

Think you've had a name change fail there OP.

You are putting this man before your baby.

A night or two ago you were calling him your boyfriend?

Their really are some shocking people on here and I mean that in the most respectful way possible my baby is a low birth weight but by no means is he unhealthy he's just a small baby I was 4 pounds 11 when I was born so was my sister it's genetic iv been told my doctors my baby is also breech like I was . He is suspected to be 6 pounds and I'm not a big girl anyways I'm short and keep myself in shape I was never going to have a big baby I don't smoke or drink I'm externally healthy and follow a healthy diet so how dare you even comment on my child's weight

OP - are you still with the baby's father?

Are you going to say whether or not you are still with the junkie abusive man who is the father of your baby ?

And I think some of you who actually don't see what @iwishitwassummer is saying is wrong are blind . Theirs being straight forward witch I respect and then theirs just being nasty and I think she genuinely comes on here to be nasty . An online forum where people can hide behind screens is bound to have people like that on here so I guess it comes with coming on sites so I'm trying not to take it to Personal

Summer, I think you need to rest up and get some good sleep. Tomorrow is another day to start some good practices. You don’t have long left so you really do need to rest and sleep.

OP you sound really distressed and anxious, I hope you have some support with all of this. Well done for leaving an abusive relationship (however long ago it was), Im sure that's not easy. Continue to work with SS I hope it all works out for you and your child.

No we are not together we are not living together he was staying at my house but now my mum has moved in with me full
Time as she externally supportive and protective of me and is worried about social services I just struggle with cutting the contact with him and finding a balance of whether he can see the child or not clearly how it's leaning towards no I am externally well educated I have just gone through a really bad patch and like many other women struggle with leaving an a suite realtionship but I'm not embarrassed or ashamed and I am trying to get as much help as I possible can I know it's wrong and I don't think it's a good environment for my child to be in no one is saying it is

Hm, OP's responses are concerning me, she seems a little off. It may just be some anxiety, it may be more.

I now understand why social care are still involved. If this family were on my caseload, I would definitely be keeping an extra eye on them.

OP I don't know why you are taking everything out on one poster who was actually only talking factually. They are not sick nor are those agreeing with them. Anyone who feels a baby should be brought up in an abusive household are the sick ones. You are not thinking clearly and it's resulting in you verbally abusing other posters who frankly have done nothing wrong.

No we are not together we are not living together he was staying at my house but now my mum has moved in with me full Time

So since last night your mum has moved into your home?

@shescurly probably not the best word to use I realise now how sensitive people are to words I should have said father of my child and I was speaking about past experiences it hasn't been long since we have broken up so I'm trying to get some advice on stuff that has gone on . And I don't think Iv had a name change fail I think my names fine actually thank you very much for trying to make a smart comment

@summerrain34 if you are still in an abusive relationship then it is right that SS are very involved and also right that they are able to step in to protect your baby if necessary. Surely you have seen all the horrible cases in the media about violent parents and their abuse of their babies?
If you don't leave your partner then someone has to protect the baby. I say this as I hold my gorgeous 12 week old daughter in my arms and I love her father with all my heart but I would be put that door as fast as I could if my choice was him or her.

No one is bullying you - listen to what they are saying - if you stay with him you show SS that you can't put protecting your baby ahead of your own desires and that will give them cause to consider whether you are a fit mother. You don't have to like it, you can fight with people on an online forum if you like but it won't change the situation.

And the excess stress of a violent and abusive partner who is a habitual drug taker will absolutely take its toll on you and the baby during pregnancy.

Summer you started as bluesmum, that’s what people are referring to, just incase you didn’t realise, so your name has changed.

@redred9 my mum has been living with me for nearly 3 weeks now I have weekly visits with my social worker healthcare visitors and my mum is in close contact with the social worker I have a lot of support around me my thread I wrote last night wasn't a good representation of my current circumstance I was just trying to get some advice on past situations . My child would never ever be in an unhealthy environment that's why iv been honest and told my social worker everything I have gone through that's why I go and attend workshops I don't want to be in the situation I'm in