Social services due to partner

[Bluesmum98]

I have social services involved due to my partner I also have had anxiety I saw my midwife today and she said I would need to be in the hospital longer as I'm under social services I'm petrified they will take baby as way from me it's my worst fear does what one have any experience with them

I work in child services, not as a social worker but have a lot of dealings with parents subject to care proceedings through the family court.

Failure to protect a child from an environment where domestic violence is likely, is deemed reason to remove a child from the home.

I've not read your posts from yesterday, but if you are indeed still with this man you need to leave him for good.

Hopefully you have done so already but please take it seriously and continue to work with SS. They get a lot of stick but they have your babies best interests at heart xx

Op what exactly is the point of coming on here and lying. You're still with your partner aren't you? Bloody ridiculous and I feel sorry for your child.

What am I missing I cant see a name change fail or any posts from OP yesterday?

You asked for experiences. Someone I know has had 3 children removed. 2 at birth. She refused to cooperate and would not leave the father. He was continually arrested and found hiding at her home. I think the best thing to do is cut contact with him.

Ugh, your posting history makes me so relived SS are involved.

Well seeing as yesterday you were still with this abusive, drug taking layabout I think you can safely assume that SS will be taking a close interest in your baby. If you can’t/won’t ensure his safety then SS will quite rightly step in and do it on your behalf.

Nobody has been aggressive or insensitive on here, aside from your replies to some honest and truthful responses.

If you were with him yesterday (as previous posts have shown), have you just split up with him today?

SS should be involved in a case like this. I hope your child gets the care he/she deserves, if its staying with you or not.

SS got involved when I was pregnant as I reported my partner for DV and left him. I then moved out of the area and cut all contact. SS then closed the case and instead I just had a PCSO checking in on me regularly (by phone) to make sure I was ok. It sound like SS are still involved because he is, not because of you, so just stick to your guns about being separated and not having any contact with him and you’ll be fine. As long as he has any contact with your child SS are likely to be involved, but that doesn’t mean they want to take your child away from you, just that they want to ensure your child is safe from harm (which if it’s seeing it’s violent father it may not be).

Ok, I can see the name change fail yesterday on another post.
You wrote a beautiful letter to your future son, imagining buying his first book, cooking his favourite meals etc. Print that letter off or write it all down and use this letter as your reason to stop all contact with your very disturbing ‘partner’. Do not run the risk of losing your boy for this worthless man because ss will work out you are still with him and then you are risking so much.
Please be strong.

Continue to work with social services and it will be fine. Obviously don’t go back to your partner. Please try and not stress.

We adopted and I can assure you removing babies from a birth mother really is the last resort.

Oh .....just read your still with your partner. If so, SS will likely stay involved and remove

Yesterday you were trying to make it work with him despite him not working, smoking weed all day, making you feel like shit and being obsessed with his ex girlfriend.

Which do you want more? The baby or the stoner? You can't keep both.

Being around domestic violence is extremely damaging to a child. In most cases the children would be better away from the parents if the parents cannot put them first.

This ^ absolutely. Parental distress does not take precedence over a child's welfare.

Less than 24hrs ago you said Yeah I have really supportive family I have my own house he lives here but he also has his own house he can stay at
OP please don't think I'm being disrespectful when I ask this, but do you also take drugs? I used to know someone who sounded just like you. She pretended to SS that he wasn't living there and he got caught hiding in her wardrobe when they showed up. She had a problem with drugs too and needed help herself. There's no shame in admitting you need help in these circumstances and I'm not saying that you are. But you say similar thinks to the girl I knew. Sadly, she lost her children (rightly so) because she put him first (and drink and drugs) and not them. It was heartbreaking to watch her fall apart like she did, but even more heartbreaking to see how it damaged those kids.

You need to cut him out of your life.

If you are co-operating with social services and you have safeguarded your child by leaving your partner then they cannot remove the baby from your care, if you for some reason get back with your ex or they feel that you have enough involvement for the child to be in danger then they will either be extremely involved or remove the child for its own good.

Lies lies and more lies don't go down well with Social Services.

You are lying even here where it is anonymous and people want to help. Why? Is facing reality too hard? Is being judged for your bad choices so hard you'd rather lie about those choices than admit and change?

Jesus wept op.

He lived with you yesterday. SS arent stupid. They have been involved longer than yesterday, which means for a while you have being choosing to be with this man and risk losing your child

That's why you got so touchy over @iwishitwassummer comment.

Because you are still with him. And she was saying if you chose to stay with him removing your child would be the right things to do. That's why so you took it as you deserve to lose your child, because you are with him.

A child deserves better than a father who is a drug using abusive arsehole. A child deserves to not be brought up in an abusive household.

You are choosing to put your child in this situation where he could be removed from you OR be brought up on a home where DV is common place.

In your opening post you say he is your partner. Then later say the relationship has ended. If you’re trying to pull the wool over the eyes of SS, you really are at risk of losing your baby. I’m sorry but you will be expected to put the baby first, not yourself, not your partner, and certainly not your relationship with him. Please find the strength to leave him so you can keep your baby.

I work in a role where I’m at times heavily involved with safeguarding newborns. Over the years I’ve seen women lie, saying they’re not still in contact with violent or abusive men. Social services will get to the bottom of it and if they believe that you’re not prioritising your child, that you’re not safeguarding them then yes there’s every chance your baby could be removed.

If however you stop the relationship, cease all contact, make sure any visitation is done as per social services instruction then you would have a very good chance of keeping your baby.

So if having your baby taken away is your worst fear you know what you need to do. Trying to trick social services will not work.

Giving you the benefit of the doubt OP, even if you have split up with him, since yesterday, SS will still be involved for several weeks, maybe months.

It's not just as simple as saying "oh, yes we've split up, you can leave us alone now".

The proof is in the pudding.

Please though, for your sake as well as the baby's, sort this out and leave. No good can come of this whole situation if you stay with him. Think about the long term damage that could be done to you both. You do not need this man, but, your baby most certainly needs you.

I don’t really understand this op, you posted in the early hours of this morning about this man, calling him your boyfriend an saying how much you wanted him, I’m not sure of the point of this thread if you’re not being honest, people can’t advise if you don’t give the facts,

Look you’re very young, and you’re mixed up with a much older, violent, steaming, lying, cheating lay about who treats you like shjt, it sadly seems he’s your babies father.

If you’re not able to end this and protect your baby then social services need to step in to ensure they do.

It’s a very sad situation all round, not least to be so young and to be mixed up with a man who treats you so terribly in the first place, and then to fall pregnant with the piece of shit.

Work with social services, they will do what they can to support you.

And for info the reason he goes for very young women, is not because he’s not interested in women his age, it’s because they know better and wish to be with a man who is responsible and decent and wouldn’t touch him with yours never mind theirs. He literally has no chance, when you get older you will see this.

Get rid, prioritise your baby, be happy, don’t look back on this, as he moves on to someone else, likely his ex, if not someone else, and you have lost everything and spend your life regretting it.

The baby is not a way to keep him op. He’s thirty six, he will never come good,

Your unborn baby or a violent man

And you need to think about which to chose?

And Op, please don’t think you can con social services and they will buy it, it never ever works. Women have been trying it for decades, swearing blind they aren’t still with their abuser, when they are. Social services know this. They know it all too well sadly. They are trained on it.

It never works. Not for long. And you really do up the risk of loosing your child if you do and try to raise your child in a chaotic, drug fuelled, violent environment as this man is present and you are lying about it.

That’s when shit gets very serious, very quickly.

OP, I say this in the kindest way possible, please, choose your baby over this man or it will be the worst mistake of your life.

Do not put him before your child or I can guarantee you will regret it for the rest of your life.

Put your baby first, he doesn't deserve this, he needs his mummy and to grow up in a safe and loving home.