Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows....

[Avocuddles]

Hi,

Starting a thread for ladies in early pregnancy after one or more miscarriages or stillbirths. A safe place to let off steam and hopefully grow healthy rainbows together......

@TunnocksTcake
My shingles sounds worse than it is. I have it on one patch on my bum and the rash does hurt a lot but I'm not actually ill with it (if that makes sense?). Any then the pain remains in the scarring for weeks.
Mine is 'shingles recurrence' and I have it around 3 times a year. Any stress on my body and it pops up. I can't take anything during pregnancy but you can take them whilst breastfeeding which is at least something.

@Avocuddles that is great to see!!

I've got one digital left but can't bring myself to use it.
I started to feel a little more positive at work today, distraction really helps.

Nervous about Thursday, but glad it's at least first thing... I doubt I'll sleep tomorrow night!

@LapsedVeganEgg omg congratulations! You are going to have your hands full lol!

@LouiseD2018 wishing you all the best for Thursday and your scan. Hopefully you get to see the heartbeat. It is so amazing 🥰

@Rachael321 hoping your midwife can help out with the pain issues... If you are anything like me, I'm exhausted all the time anyways especially when getting up to pee during night so I can only imagine how tired it must be leaving you...fingers crossed for you that she can help.

@Sunflower1608 when your morning sickness started was it full blown sickness or nausea? I was feeling so sick today both first thing and then again randomly this afternoon to the point people at work were worried I was ill. Not sure if it's the start of morning sickness or not lol

Hope everyone is doing well today. Sorry if I haven't replied back to everyone who tagged me. There were so many new messages when I got back from work haha ☺️

@TunnocksTcake based on last period my due date would 21st September and I'd be 6 weeks now, but my cycles are long and irregular and I also have a clear idea of ovulation date so know my actual dates should be 27-28th September.
My DH feels much the same, it's so hard for them seeing us suffer and not being able to help or change the situation.

@LouiseD2018 we will all be thinking of you on Thursday. Hope you see a lovely sticky bean with its heart beating away.

@SammiLou2312 it started off with nausea that intermittently snuck up on me and the thought of certain foods made my mouth feel funny, which moved towards full blown barfing

@Sunflower1608 that's kind of how I felt today. I've had the odd twinge of nausea over the past week but not as bad as today. Thought I was going to either throw up at my desk or pass out at one point this afternoon...maybe its a sign of things to come (I'm 6+3 today so would make sense it starts soon). Thanks for replying

@avocadoincident oh you poor thing I heard it could reoccur, I was half expecting it to after the month I've had. Also heard some people just keep getting nerve pain forever which sounds awful, I'll stick to my numb bum! Glad you don't feel too ill with it though.
The heartburn and bloat is unreal this evening, I feel like I'm about to pop!

@lapsedveganegg congratulations!!! 😍😍😍 double trouble! 🤣 how are you feeling? ❤️

And congrats all the other ladies that have joined recently! Love this group, we obviously don't want to talk about all the early pregnancy stuff/worries in a conception thread as that could be triggering for others, but me personally feel waayyyy too early out to be joining the likes of "September 2020 babies" or Graduates" threads. It's a bit sad my 2 miscarriages have removed the naivety and happiness of early pregnancy, I was sure everything was going to work out my first time! I quite envy the lovely ladies whom join those other threads straight away, excited that there will be a baby later this year. I just cannot feel that way personally.

@avocuddles SNAP! 😄 I'm so relieved it shows 3+... I know it doesn't mean anything really but it still gives me some kind of confidence before my scan on Weds next week. I'll be 6+2 or 3.... will you be having more scans before the 12 week one after your 7 week one? I actually want two, one at 8 weeks and one at 10 (if we get this far). At 10 weeks we're doing a Harmony test. I don't want to do the combined test as I'm older (so the result will probably not come back great). I want to save myself that worry and just crack on with the Harmony test that's much more accurate.

Ahh I'm too nervous to do the cab digi, going to wait a few more days! It never progressed past 1-2 for me last time which was my first clue.
I had a really disconcerting back pain in bed which woke me up... it was fairly high up around waist level on my left, but it's gone now I'm out of bed... still constant knicker checking this morning though.. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thanks all for the ongoing twin congratulations. I have no idea how I feel because it still just doesn't feel real. It's like when I was in labour with DC1 and a doctor asked me "does your daughter have a name yet" and I got all confused because I was that one of all my friends who was happy to be childfree forever. And now, I feel like, Other People have FIVE children, and they're all better parents than me. And of course, I can't really think past the miscarriage risks. I don't want to tell anyone I'm pregnant.

Sending sticky vibes and hope to everyone else on here

PS Eggs are now making me heave (anyone else?!) so I have name changed. Where I work, everyone is either a vegan or (like me) a wannabevegan, so I don't think I'm outing myself too much.

@SunStruck at the moment I'm refusing to think beyond the 7 week scan as I've never had a 'good' one, but imagine I'd want one at 9 or 10 weeks. Congrats on the 3+!

@TunnocksTcake I have quite a few strange twinges, it's really disconcerting. It's so hard not having ever successfully experienced pregnancy to know what is 'normal', but I'm trying to stay calm...... I'm also on constant knicker watch and can't imagine that ever changing!

Morning everyone. I’m getting lots of cramps again, I can’t remember if thats normal at this stage (4-5 weeks)?
Anyone taking inositol? I took it with my son after reading about its effectiveness online with people with pcos but didn’t take it when I had my two miscarriages so psychologically I feel slightly positive about this pregnancy. 🤞🏻

@HighHopes20 I have been having cramps since around 3/4 weeks. Apparently it's quite common as your uterus is expanding ☺️ Doesn't stop the worrying at every twinge mind but try not to worry too much x

Veey common @HighHopes20.
In fact my most crampy pregnancy was our now 4yo.

@highhopes20 yes I've been taking it! My Dr recommends it (she's a fertility specialist). I was very crampy during implantation and a few days after, and then it's fine but comes in waves from time to time.

@avocuddles thanks and to you 🥰 yeah I know what you mean... I'm dreading my first scan as well as the 10 week one since we lost it at 9 weeks last time... statistically it should be an extremely low chance at miscarriage then, but it still happened. Mid March feels SO FAR away (when we're out of the woods...)

On a different note, nausea has started today with a vengeance 🤢 feel so sick!

@SunStruck Did your dr recommend you take inositol through out pregnancy or just the first 12 weeks? I think I weaned off it slowly with my son after the first few successful scans.

@highhopes20 yeah for the first 12 weeks because of my previous miscarriages. If it happens again, I wouldn't have stopped with inositol and my egg quality will therefore still be improved when we try again. I think it's safer to not miscarriage after 12 weeks so will probably stop then!

Reading this thread, I'm amazed how strong all of you are. Best wishes to all of you

I've had back ache for the last couple of days, also chronic knicker checker. Makes us sound like dirty old men 🤣
I just want to feel normal and relaxed in this pregnancy. I'm obsessions over every possible sign and becoming a google addict.

@Sunflower1608 I completely get you...I'm exactly the same...after thinking I would never get pregnant due to my medical conditions I naively thought everything would go smoothly after getting past the 4 week mark last time. After losing that one at 8 weeks, I am constantly second guessing every twinge and cant decide if I'm going to loo more because I need to pee loads more or because I need to check there's no blood. It's so hard to try and remain positive but we have to try

Knickers checker 😂 so true. I had the fear every time I went to the bathroom for the first 12 weeks, still do sometimes.

Hi all, sending you all positive vibes.
Hope I'm ok to join this merry rainbow chasing band.
I'm 6+1 and this is my 4th pregnancy, have had 2 MC's and a chemical in the last 18 months. Reading this thread has really helped me feel more sane. I'm still obsessed with tests, luckily I have a big box of internet cheapies and I'm proudly down to doing one a day🙈. I'm also a chronic knicker checker. The fact that other people have mentioned that makes me feel about 300% better.

I'm starting properly with morning sickness now, as soon as I start to feel hungry the nausea starts...I actually had 2 breakfasts today 🙈.
I'm quite worried about DH as he is so worried this time. He works away so I have to text him ever morning to let him know I'm ok. I've got an early scan on Friday for reassurance because of my history. I'm really nervous because I know it could be inconclusive due to being so early. Trying to stay positive but it's not easy x

Just found this thread and @knotemma I can relate so hard about the chronic knicker checker and 1827494 pregnancy tests, it’s put my mind at ease already to know I’m not alone!

I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks at the end of last year, currently 6 weeks pregnant and trying to keep my anxiety at bay. I thankfully already have a 3 year old who keeps me very busy :) but it’s hard to keep my thoughts positive sometimes.

Sending you all lots of rainbow positive thoughts, thank you all for sharing your stories ladies, I hope we can all help each other :) xxx

Hi @Nooodles and @Knotemma! It's great that there are so many of us here at a very similar stage and you're right it definitely helps to know that there are others doing the same things and having the same thoughts.

Whilst we not get to have the 'normal' early pregnancy experience, at least we can find some comfort in knowing that we're perfectly normal as far as women who have been through one or more losses are concerned - we're all warriors regardless of knicker checks and needing to take out a loan to keep up all of the pregnancy tests! 😂

Wishing all the best for your scan @Knotemma. Think there are a few scans coming up soon so make sure you all keep us posted - praying for good news stories and healthy rainbows all round!