Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows....

[Avocuddles]

Hi,

Starting a thread for ladies in early pregnancy after one or more miscarriages or stillbirths. A safe place to let off steam and hopefully grow healthy rainbows together......

That's great news @Seahawk80 and also great that you got an extra scan to see your little bean. xx

@Seahawk80 thats great news, glad it went well!

I've managed a small walk and a bit of something to eat, so I'm feeling a bit more positive.

I am not feeling so good today, last night I was getting pinching and pulling while watching TV. I woke up in night to go toilet and there was a tiny bit of pink, it's only happened the once but it is still making me worry and panic. I know spotting is normal, but we were told that last time and I ended up miscarrying. I know that my reasons for miscarrying (triploidy) were very rare, about 1%, and chances of the same thing happening again are super low but it doesn't stop me worrying.

I'm getting married tomorrow and going on honeymoon Sunday, I am trying to be happy and positive but I just feel like I have this dark cloud hanging over me

Hi, can I join? I'm currently 4 weeks and 2 days, I got a faint line on hpt on Tues and these have been getting darker each day.
I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks in December.

I've been having lower back pain on left side and also some side/abdo cramps on left side. I'm a nervous wreck.

I'd really like an early reassurance scan, is this something that will be offered to me on NHS as I've had a miscarriage? If so, how do I go about arranging it?

If not, I will pay for an early private scan. Can anyone advise when the best week for this would be? When can a heartbeat bw detected?

Sorry... So many questions!! X

@bananamuffin99 sorry to hear you've had a tough night, depending on how far along you are it could be your placenta implanting? Especially if you have had a bit of discomfort. I hope it all calms down and you can have a wonderful day tomorrow.

@BS9790 it depends on your trust if they'll give you an early scan after 1 MC, I'd speak to your doctor and push the mental health side of things. I had a scan at six and a half weeks, they recommend about 7 weeks as the best timing for an early scan. Gentle congratulations and I hope all goes well for you xx

Hi @BS9790 and tentative congratulations to you!
There's no harm in asking your GP or early pregnancy unit about whether you can have a scan, it varies a lot depending on the area and if you have any other risk factors. I wasn't offered one after one miscarriage but did get one after a second one. In terms of seeing a heartbeat you're best waiting until 7 weeks to be certain. I've had a 7 week scan in my second and third (current) pregnancies and saw a heartbeat both times, although during the 2nd one it was clearly measuring behind so I did suspect things would go wrong.
It's a really nerve wracking time and if you read back through this thread you'll see we've all been feeling the same crazy mix of emotions. Just remember that this is a whole new pregnancy and the odds are very much in your favour this time. Will this be your first baby?

@bananamuffin99 so sorry you're having a nervous time when you should be looking forward to one of the most special experiences of your life. As you say spotting is not unusual and things often work out fine, so please try to enjoy your big day and honeymoon. And congratulations to you Mrs Bananamuffin!

@Seahawk80 I'm so relieved and happy for you, what a great result! Hope next weeks scan is equally positive and you can hopefully relax....

@Sunflower1608 glad to hear they're both growing well though imagine it's nervewracking. Please look after yourself and rest rest rest. When is your next check up?

@Knotemma 5 days is nothing to worry about, also don't forget that ovulation is usually a day or two after a positive opk. I'm glad the nausea is getting slightly better, it must be awful for you.

@TunnocksTcake glad you enjoyed your gym session. I've never been this far along before so not sure what to expect in terms of symptoms, it's great to have you all to chat to.

@tmc14 yay to nausea! Hope it isn't too debilitating but like you I find it weirdly comforting....

@Seahawk80 That's excellent news, I'm so pleased and not long now to wait until the next scan

@BS9790 Welcome, as @knotemma said it depends but more of ten than not I think you have to have had at least 2, where I am its 3 before they will do any investigating and I'm not even sure that would include early scans for next pregnancy, just tests. Worth a try though so go and see what they say

@bananamuffin99 I know what you mean about the dark cloud. Have everything crossed for no more spotting for you. Congratulations and hope you manage to enjoy the big day and honeymoon. Where are you off to?

@BS9790 I wasn't offered an early scan after one miscarriage. I paid for a private one at 7weeks and saw a heartbeat. Congratulations on your BFP, remember every pregnancy starts with the same odds, which are in your favour. After a miscarriage we are all so hypervigilant of every symptom or lack of symptom and turn a little loopy.

@Seahawk80 yay for the positive scan! Glad everything is looking well.

@bananamuffin99 I'm so sorry that you have this cloud hanging over you when you should be getting excited for one of the best days of your life. Remember many women experience bleeding and go on to have a healthy pregnancy. Ive bled with 4 out of 5 of my pregnancies. Only one was sign of a miscarriage. Please allow yourself to enjoy your big day

@Avocuddles I've got my booking in appointment next Thursday and then next scan is 26th march. I hate that I have to wait so long to see them again and know for sure all is ok.

@bananamuffin99 sorry you’re not having a good day ahead of your wedding. Is there any chance of you seeing someone today for a reassurance scan? I realise it’s quite late in the day. As someone else said, could be your placenta. Hope you manage to have a lovely wedding day & honeymoon xxx

@BS9790 Welcome & congratulations on the positive test. I’m a rare one who, after miscarrying once last year, was able to just phone the EGU and book a scan for 7+1 for this pregnancy. So always worth an ask. I had lots of weird feelings in the first couple of weeks after getting my bfp, I think we’re just super sensitive now to any feeling that is different. In my first pregnancy I didn’t notice anything happening at all. x

Oh and thanks everyone. Lovely to know people are thinking of you. Still in a bit of shock as my sons nuchal was on the high side so just expected it.

Didn't get the job I applied for at work to move departments but they are giving me a call to negotiate. I think we may agree I move after mat leave if all goes well.

@Seahawk80 and @Sunflower1608 congratulations on your successful scans. So glad to hear they went well ☺️

@bananamuffin99 congratulations on your wedding tomorrow! Try to enjoy every minute of it, the whole day will go so quick 🥰

@Knotemma what time is your scan this evening? Thinking of you xx

@Seahawk80 @Sunflower1608 I am so so happy for you both, what brilliant news!

@bananamuffin99, huge congratulations on your wedding. As the others said, could well be nothing although I know that the unknown is enough to make you anxious. I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow and get a chance to relax on holiday.

@BS9790 welcome! As everyone has said it depends. However I was given a scan at 5 weeks and will have one at 7 both because I had some cramping I was worried about, not because of my previous experiences. So I guess it depends on symptoms as well. Husband is calling it the "reassurance pathway" 😂 - I don't care, I'll take what they give me and say thanks!

Is anyone else feeling a bit detached? I am excited, of course, but kind of only a bit. When I tell people I'm pregnant it feels like a lie, I keep forgetting to behave 'right' (alcohol/caffeine - don't worry I remember in time) and I don't feel connected to the reality that this might actually lead to something - eg we're booking a place for Christmas and I'm basically not thinking that it might be 3 of us, so when my husband said we shouldn't book a second floor apartment I basically thought "yeah but we probably won't need to worry anyway". I think it's partly because it's so early (nearly 6 weeks), partly because I basically have no symptoms, and partly because I think I just want to protect myself. Which is stupid because if it goes wrong again I know I'll be devastated, detachment or not. Anyway it just makes me a bit sad to think how different my attitude is this time, and I know you'll get it, even if you guys are more able to be connected to your own pregnancies.

Big love xxxx

@Hagster I know exactly what you mean. Part of the issue I just had with moving roles at work was time off in March and night shifts over the start date but I just said I need that time off to either recover if it's bad news but also just to get my head straight if all is ok. I just feel really detached and want to just get excited!

Hey all can I join the thread.. ?
Currently 9wks and had a MMC last year but it's a totally different experience being pregnant this time 😞 me and DH aren't really talking about the pregnancy as he says he doesn't want to get to attached (he was devestated at the MMC) as were I but I had my suspicions. Anyway I did go for a scan at 7+3 everything was 'perfect' but last time baby made it to 9+3 and I'm approaching that time again so super anxious!!
Last time we jamp right into the pregnancy even looked at prams etc and now we're not even acting like I'm pregnant?? So weird. Were both just hoping for the best and scared for the same result as last.
Weeks are like months!

@LilMrsS welcome to the group. Completely get what you mean about struggling to acknowledge the pregnancy...I'm 10 week on Sunday following a MMC in November last year and go through phases of wanting to jump for joy and then absolute panic and fear of things going wrong. My husband seems terrified of getting his hopes up too. Hoping getting past 12 weeks will help, although it's getting harder to deny it now (I started to show really early on and am now in maternity clothes as none of my things fit anymore lol). Sending sticky bean vibes your way, you are seriously amongst good company here - we are all a little symptom checking mad and constantly counting down the days to our next scans/appointments x

Thanks @sammilou2312. My symptoms are good aswell I bloated really early and limited clothing already! But again I won't buy myself anything to later on. I'm the same hoping after 12wk if its all good to start planning a lil more and relax! Just so weird not planning and talking about it like it's a bad secret of something.. I wanted a 10wk private scan but DH would rather not so maybe just waiting a few weeks best then.

Thanks for all your advice about early scan, I think I will ring the EPU on Monday and tell them about my pains/cramps and see if they get my in for my blood hcg levels. Then maybe I can ask for a scan then 😂
If not I will book a private one for 7 weeks... which still feels like an absolute life time away! 😩

Hi. Found this thread tonight and feel like I've walked into a room of people who understand me right now. Am 6wks pregnant but don't really want to believe it, having got pregnant exactly the same time last year and had MMC at 12 weeks.
I can't decide whether to tell anyone. I have known for a week but not even phoned to book in with a midwife yet. I don't know if I want an early scan or just to ignore the hell out of this until the 12 week scan.

@Hagster, totally get your point on feeling very detached, everything you said is ringing true. Everything is still an if not a when, so I don't want to think about it or get my hopes up.

Nice to hear the comments about every pregnancy starting with new odds though, and reassurance from those who've been successful post mmc before.

Good luck everyone.

@hagster I know exactly what you mean, I have had 3 scans and I always thought the first time I saw the heartbeat I would be an emotional wreck but it seems I'm taking everything with a pinch of salt and not taking it seriously until the next scan (and the next one and the next one). I'm assuming it's self protection and is only natural after what we've been through. I figure we have loads of time to get excited after 12 weeks - or whenever it feels real and we just need to do what's right for us to get us to that point.

@LilMrsS Welcome and congratulations!

Hi all, bit of a late update from me, as we ended up at the in laws for an hour after out scan.

Things went really well, growth has caught up a bit so measuring 9+1 (by LMP I'm 9+4 today) and saw lots of movement and a nice strong heartbeat.

I don't know if anyone else is in the north east, but I can't recommend scan my baby in Middlesbrough enough, Liz was fab and is a full time sonographer for the NHS. The place is gorgeous, as there is also a spa and other bits in the building and it was so lovely to have some quality time watching baby. We've come away with videos and prints which is brilliant and the whole thing has thoroughly reassured me, to the point where we've now told DH's siblings that we're expecting.

@Hagster I totally get the detachment thing, it's only this week where I've started to let myself believe that we might get our rainbow this time. None of my previous pregnancies have got anywhere near this far. I know that there are still no guarantees, but I'm going to let myself start to get excited, because it feels like the right time for me. For others that might be after the 12 week scan, or at a later point depending on your own previous experiences, but for me it feels like it's time to let this little one in. (I'm actually crying typing this, it's such a difficult thing, because it also opens me up to all of the potential hurt too). But we've all talked slot about the fact that a brand new pregnancy means new odds every time and I think I need to start embracing that.

Sending you all loads of sticky baby dust tonight xx

@Knotemma I am so so happy for your news. Your post made me choke up a little (but then that could also have something to do with the hormones lol!) I'm trying to feel more excited than apprehensive about my scan on Monday...my specialist told me that she hopes I can enjoy the next one and breathe through it rather than holding my breath and panicking the entire time.
@Givemethegin welcome and sending you sticky bean vibes and tentative congratulations xx

@TunnocksTcake thanks🙂
@Hagster I totally feel the detachment aswell it's so weird! Even after seeing the little mite at 7+3 I wasnt thinking any further then first scan. Don't know if it's just what I hear but seems most people have more then 1 MC before their pregnancies again which is why I might think it's to good to be true?? What a weird time!

Hi everyone, I had a mc at 10 weeks start of Jan and somehow find myself pregnant again, I must be around 5 to 6 weeks, not sure exact date due to not having a period inbetween.

I came on to post exactly the same @hagster did. I feel completely non pregnant and it's not that I'm not enjoying it but more that it feels unreal. I've no symptoms of being pregnant either, and this feeling of detachment makes it hard to try and look after myself like I should. I'm struggling to do things like remember to avoid caffeine, I picked my extremely heavy 5yo up and lifted him onto my shoulders this morning without thinking.

I did pluck up the courage to phone the doctors to get a mw appt (again) feels strange to be going for my second booking in appt in two months.

I knew I could count on you lot. I'm sorry you're all feeling some detachment too, but hearing you feel it too makes it feel so much more normal and ok. And frankly reasonable given our experiences. We'll get there, just in our own time I think. ⁣
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@Knotemma, huge congratulations on your scan, I'm so so pleased for you. ⁣
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And welcome @seaduck, getting back on the road of this so soon must feel weird and I imagine a bit mixed emotionally too. Well done for doing phoning up though, and fingers crossed for it to be sticky this time.