Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows....

[Avocuddles]

Hi,

Starting a thread for ladies in early pregnancy after one or more miscarriages or stillbirths. A safe place to let off steam and hopefully grow healthy rainbows together......

Thanks everyone for your thoughts on telling people. Thinking we may just tell close family first and wait til after 12 weeks to announce it properly. We were originally going to wait to tell everyone until after 12 weeks as I didn't want to jinx it but people are already asking if we are thinking of trying again after our loss last November and I don't like hiding the truth lol x

Such a nice sunny day today! We're out escaping the builders and getting some Vit D. Amazing what some sunshine can do for your mood. Feels so spring like and positive even though DS and I are hanging out in the cemetery! (Sounds weird but It's behind our garden and full of sticks and dog walkers so it's a toddlers paradise and I much prefer it to the park!)

@avocadoincident I'm sorry you're cramping, hopefully it's just growing pains! I cramped a lot too in the beginning. How are you feeling now?

@SammiLou2312 we won't tell anyone this time apart from PIL if the 8 week scan goes well the week after next because they are coming to stay with us for 1.5 weeks and I can't hide it that time (they would definitely guess when I turn down wine on the weekend!). We will wait until after we have got the results back from either Harmony or CVS (not decided which one to go for yet). I am 36 and I definitely want to test the chromosomes before we tell our friends/family. Luckily Harmony (and CVS I think) can be done at 10 weeks so we should have the results 1-2 weeks after.

For work, I'm going to leave it as late as possible (hopefully won't show until 20-24 weeks). I work in a male dominated work place and don't want to talk about pregnancy/potential miscarriage etc, I just don't feel comfortable. First time when I had to tell my boss because I needed 3 days off for surgery (mmc), I hated it...

@Scout20 how did your scan go? Sorry if I missed an update, this thread moved quickly 😃

Hope you're okay @avocadoincident

How are you doing, @avocadoincident? Thinking of you.

Good news here: we heard and saw a heartbeat on the scan! All looks good and measuring a day ahead. Such a relief after bleeding that morning 😬 I’m very conscious of scans being a snapshot in time so I confess I’m now concentrating on my next NHS scan. Although at the same time trying not to wish my life away! The bleeding was also a reminder, as if any were needed, of how quickly things can change. I can’t remember who posted about their DH asking when it was ok to be excited (@Knotemma
?) but we had the same conversation yesterday.

In case it helps anyone else (@avocadoincident): the doctor wasn’t concerned by me having had a small bit of brown/pink blood, and said it can happen when the embryo (and later placenta) implant. They also said cramping is normal as long as it’s not too severe. Their advice was was to rest this weekend, and if the blood was heavy and red and if I was in pain to go to A&E - though that also depends if your A&E is able to scan.

@SunStruck I would def recommend Harmony over CVS as it's just a blood test whereas CVS is pretty uncomfortable. I also had a lot of bleeding after my CVs with DS. They generally do a CVS to confirm if your harmony indicates an abnormality.

@avocadoincident I hope you're feeling ok. Fingers crossed it's you placenta implanting but I know any kind of pain and bleeding is scary. Like everyone else I would.suggest lots of chilled out activities to keep your mind busy, maybe a good book or a TV series you can space out with. Lots of time with your partner and plenty of tea and snuggles. I've got everything crossed for you xx

Thanks everyone for the messages. I still have cramps and back ache. I'm passing mucus with dark red.

I can't do anything so trying to stay calm but in all honesty I can't see a good outcome to this. Still holding onto hope though.

@avocadoincident sending love, virtual hugs and best wishes. Keep your feet up, try to relax and hopefully you will have good news soon x

The only thing I'd say is that the harmony can only test for certain things.
The amnio rests for a whole range of abnormalities and the CVS tests for more than the harmony.
Of course the CVS and the amnio can be more risky and also are uncomfortable.

We had the NIPT because of a high nuchal which came back fine because our baby had a rare chromosomal condition that the amnio picked up.

@Seahawk80 thanks so much for your input! The reason I'm considering CVS is because Harmony only look for/detect the three most common trisomies and not the full spectrum of chromosomes. CVS test all of them. There's women who had the all clear on the Harmony test, but gave birth to a baby with chromosomal issues anyway and I want to avoid that... I think that even if I did Harmony and it came back clear, I'd be so worried about other issues I'd go for cvs anyway so if that's the case I'd save money by just going for cvs from the start if that makes sense?

Was it really painful with cvs? If choosing between that and amino I'd still go CVS as you can do that test much earlier than amnio...

Hi Everyone,

Looks like I'm out unfortunately. Third time unlucky. Saw a tiny faint bit of spotting and panicked and went for a private scan. I'm sure on my dates as I measured, so should be 6.2weeks. Sonographer couldn't find anything at all - I caved and did internal too as was worried about ectopic. (still worried!) She might have seen a very small 4 week scan.. So I'm expecting to miscarry soon as it just can't be 2.2 weeks out.

Thank you for all your lovely support across the last few weeks. I wish you all the best of luck and hope you have successful pregnancies xxx

Sorry @SunStruck I didn't tag you in my post.
I had the amnio and it was uncomfortable, more than I'd thought but didn't take long at all.
I would say though if you want as many things checked off as possible then wait for the amnio.

We were in a different position obviously because we had a high nuchal but we may as well have just gone straight for the amnio and found the issue rather than getting false hope with the NIPT.

I'm so sorry to hear that @SW83 I wish you all the best x

@SW83 I am so sorry 😢 look after yourself and DH ❤️

@Treaclepie19 thank you! Might do this... I'll discuss with my Dr when I hopefully get to 10 weeks. May I ask if you decided to TFMR?

@SW83 I’m so sorry to read this. 💛 Sending you love and cuddles, so sorry you are going through this again. xxx

@avocadoincident Big hugs for you too, I know this weekend is going to be tough! Ride through it, watch some comfort TV and I hope you get some answers on Monday (and extra hope that it’s a sticky bean) 💛 Xxx

@SunStruck yeah see what they advise you :)
We did have a TFMR at 22+4. Our little boy had a very rare condition. It doesn't even have a name. Feel free to message me anytime x

@SW83 @avocadoincident so sorry to hear what you are currently going through. I hope and pray that you are the lucky ones who still have a positive result, but make sure you are looking after yourselves and taking it as easy as possible. We all know what the fear and pain is like, and we're here for you.

@Scout20 So glad you had a positive scan, congratulations! I feel exactly the same after mine, it’s such a contrast to my first pregnancy when we had an early scan and saw a heartbeat - I was so happy then! But this time I’m definitely still feeling anxious to get to the 12 week scan!

I have decided to have another scan, probably at 10 weeks, as we’re going across the country to stay with family when I’ll be 11 weeks. When I thought about it, I’m really not happy about being away from home without having more confidence that everything will be ok, as I MC at 11 weeks last time. So while it seems silly to spend the money a week or so before my NHS scan, I think it’ll be worth it. Having this thread has really helped me rationalise these thoughts, thank you all! 💛

Hope everyone else is doing ok and enjoying that sunshine today :) xx

@SW83 @avocadoincident thinking of you both and hoping for the best xx

@SW83 @avocadoincident so sorry to hear what you guys are going through. It's such a scary uncertain time. I hope and have all my fingers and toes crossed you have positive outcomes 💕

@scout20 so glad you had a good scan. I know what you mean about wanting to get to the next one, I want to see growth now! I still have a private one booked for next week but will be good after that and wait til 12 weeks.

Oh also @avocadoincident I have had back pain for a week and both dr and midwives said it was a positive sign so not always bad news

I'm so so sorry @sw83, sending you lots of love at this very difficult time ♥️

So sorry @SW83 take care of yourself.

And you @avocadoincident I really hope it’s a positive outcome.

Glad some of you had positive scans. DH is our collecting a curry & I’m enjoying an alcohol free beer. My hip/back pain has died down, thinking it was completely unrelated to the baby. Sent my self referral form to the maternity unit today. Felt like I was tempting fate but better early than late so they can book me in, hopefully I’ll still need it when the appointments come round🤞

@SW83 so sorry to hear that, sending you lots of positive thoughts and love. It's an awful time and I'll be thinking of you. Take good care of yourself and DH, wishing you all the best xx