Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows....

[Avocuddles]

Hi,

Starting a thread for ladies in early pregnancy after one or more miscarriages or stillbirths. A safe place to let off steam and hopefully grow healthy rainbows together......

Ah that makes sense. Thanks @Avocuddles

Thanks @Avocuddles Silly thing about worrying about every twinge is that for my first (successful) pregnancy, I had no symptoms at all apart from tiredness. Second pregnancy I had all the symptoms but lost the baby. So this time round I’ve no idea what to think. Definitely going to be a long few months if it sticks.

Quiet weekend planned here, few jobs round the house, pottering about. Rock n roll!!

I've had a really rough day today symptoms wise, woke up at half 4 feeling nauseous and haven't been able to get beck to sleep. I can't keep anything down and I'm reaching the point of tired where I'm feeling a bit teary, which really isn't me. My stomach is just a ball of crampy pains too, mostly to do with the stomach upset I think, but of course I'm over analysing everything.

Does anyone have any miracle cures? Ginger just makes my heartburn worse and I'm only eating "beige" food as it is 🙈

@Knotemma I had the worst morning sickness (all day) for the first 6 months of my daughter’s pregnancy - then had a few weeks of feeling good before heartburn made me sick every day until I delivered her 🤣 the only thing that ever made me feel better was having a little bit of dry food, often - an empty tummy always made me feel so much worse. Dairy is also really good for heartburn - I drank a LOT of milkshakes as it sort of neutralises the acid a bit, I think ... look on google for food that makes it worse, as it took me a while to discover that eating grapes, tomato sauces etc. make the heartburn so so so much worse.

Hope something helps, ultimately nothing really does help 100% 🤣 but I did gradually find things that made it less bad. Hope you do too. Everything is also so so much worse when you’re tired, hope you can have a cuppa and an early night and feel better! xxx

@samilou2312 @avocuddles thanks for the info both, if I get that far I may well pay for one this time, saves all that tension building for the 12 week one (especially as that's where we found out last time). I mean, it will be stressful anyway, but maybe it'll be a tiny bit less?! Or not. But tbh just grateful to be pregnant again even if it is scary! This really is a lovely thread. Hello to all on here and sending you all big big love and luck

@Knotemma have you spoken with your doctor / midwife about how sick you are being? A friend of mine really struggled to keep anything down and ended up being diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum (a form of extremely severe morning sickness). She was struggling to even keep liquids down. If it's really bad, you run the risk of dehydration so it might be worth speaking to doc to be safe if it's bad x

@Hagster
Hi there, I'm having a measly nhs scan on Monday after one miscarriage.

The midwife didn't think it was necessary as I lost the baby at 20 weeks (so what will an early scan prove?). But I said 'look I'm 40 and I haven't got time to waste', so she rang and asked EPU who happily agreed. The midwife said it's very hit and miss wether they agree or not so I'm just lucky this time.

So I guess just ask?

@SammiLou2312 it's only gotten really bad the last day or so and I have seen a midwife yet, appointment isn't until 18th, when I'll be just over 9 weeks. I'm hoping it's just a blip and it calms down, but unfortunately I'm cursed with a bit of a dodgy tummy anyway so I can see this becoming fun 🙈. I'm managing to get plenty of water into myself and there's no signs of dehydration or anything like that, but if I'm not feeling any better by Monday I think a trip to the doctor's might be on order x

@Hagster it might be worth ringing your local EPU direct? I was able to self refer after 2 miscarriages and they saw me at 6+4. It was a good bit of reassurance for me, though I know sometimes that early it can be hard to see exactly what's going on. I'm toying with the idea of a private scan at about 10 weeks, depending on how things go, because my DH asked me yesterday when we're allowed to start to get excited and that made my heart hurt

@Hagster TYPO: should read early scan not measly scan 🤷‍♀️

@Knotemma glad you are able to keep liquid down, fingers crossed it eases up for you soon then x

Speaking of telling people and allowing ourselves to get excited...have any of you lovely ladies any idea when you plan on telling family and friends? We told close family early on last time and ended up having to then upset everyone when things didn't work out. This time we have only told my mum and best friend so far (best friend is also going to be my doula) as I needed support plus a couple of folk at my work as I was struggling. I have scan on Monday at 8+1 and we are now debating telling rest of close family after that if everything ok at this scan as we have my niece's christening a week later...I started showing a bump at 5 weeks lol so will not be able to hide it at the christening haha... So nervous to tell folk early

I'm awake and worrying! No particular reason! I just swing from thinking I can't be so unlucky again to imagining getting bad news with the harmony results. I had my booking in appointment on Wednesday and the midwife was amazing. She didn't make me go over all the vbac vs elcs guidelines for the birth and said that anything that I want to leave to discuss next time is fine. She also gave me her mobile number in case I do get bad news and need to cancel everything, but equally she was positive. It was just nice to have someone acknowledge that I've had a hard time. One thing that really encouraged me was that she really struggled to enter the data about the termination on the system, like she hardly ever deals with terminations for medical reasons so it reassured me that it is quite rare.

Welcome @Hagster and @thelittlepeanut

@SammiLou2312 I would only tell people if you want to. I doubt anyone would comment on an early bump and if they do just say you had a big lunch!

@Knotemma hope you feel better and are sleeping better than me

We have a chilled but expensive weekend. Getting our ancient boiler replaced tomorrow. We are in the middle of an extension/ new kitchen so our flat is currently open at the back and freezing cold!! Oh and covered in dust! We are escaping to our friends tomorrow night which will be nice. They are going out and our sons are best friends so we are babysitting. I guess getting 2 very overexcited 2.5 year olds to bed tomorrow will take my mind off things! Happy weekend everyone.

Thank you so much for the advice @avocadoincident, @knotemma, it really does help! The hospital were so good last time, I think I will just ring them direct and see what they say. I'm not too proud to beg 🙈😂. I'll wait until at least 4 weeks to contact them though, as someone said earlier, it will hopefully feel more 'real' then! And it's only two days away now...⁣
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So sorry to hear how poorly you've been @knotemma, sounds really rough. I have no advice but you have my sympathy. ⁣
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@samilou2312 we're planning on literally just telling our parents (who are mainly supportive) until we reach 12 weeks. I might tell a couple of good friends before that, for support. For me, it's because I probably will tell most people eventually (did last time, as wanted to reduce stigma and increase awareness and also it helped me process what happened), but I want to be able to do it on my terms, so if things go wrong again, I tell people when I feel ready to, not when they ask or on scan day when they're all full of expectation. I really think it needs to be up to you. Maybe you could tell people you're pregnant, but keep scan dates secret from the wider group so you can have a bit of control and reduce pressure around those times? And like @seahawk80 says, only tell people if you want them to know. It's your body and your business!

I'm having a panicked two days as I'm 8+3 and my nausea is gone. It was horrendous but now I have none. I had a mmc last year so I'm just overly anxious.

@SammiLou2312 I've told a couple of friends and my line manager at work but will try to hold off telling family until 12 weeks (or when things go wrong) if possible. My friends have been a far better support through my losses than my family and they understand my anxiety so it's good to have a couple of them that I can message and who I can turn to immediately if things take a turn for the worse. If I hadn't told my line manager she would no doubt have worked it out by now as due to being under the consultant for my blood clotting issues it means I have a lot of hospital appointments - with that and the scan and the midwife there will be 5 over a three week period! I took a week off work after my most recent miscarriage so I guess part of it in my mind is preparing her for the fact that I might need some time off again, though I can dare to dream that it might be different this time.....

@Hagster you're completely right - I like that expression our bodies our business! I just wish I felt a little more in control of mine!

@seahawk80 enjoy your night babysitting and reaping the benefits of your new boiler (well, soon when you don't live in a building site.....).

@Chanel05 sorry you're feeling anxious. I'm sure everything is fine (our hormones are changing all the time) but could you maybe get a scan planned in for reassurance soon?

@SammiLou2312 we've told both sets of parents so I have support at home (DH works away during the week) and both of our line managers know. I'll probably tell close friends if we get through the 12 weeks scan ok, but I'm quite looking forward to getting fat and waiting for people at work to comment 😂.

I'm naturally quite private anyway and the idea of birth announcements and stuff makes me feel physically sick, for all it's a lovely pretty idea.

Really I do think it's down to personal preference. And whether or not people guess... Lots of our friends know that we're trying and have had a rough ride if it, so sometimes they'll ask how it's going or get a signal from me eating differently and will ask outright, and I don't like to lie about it if I don't have to. It's nobody else's business, bit sometimes having people in the know I helpful x

Can anyone help me know what to do?

I've got brown (presuming blood) discharge, period pains and bad back.

I've never had this before. I'm 6+3 and have a scan booked Monday morning.

Hello everyone and happy weekend! Just catching up with the thread and loving all the positive news.

@Seahawk80 sorry that you were awake and worrying :-( I seem to get up at either 3am or 5am every day at the mo. So much for long sleeps in pregnancy!
@Chanel05 hope you're ok and the anxiety has subsided. Totally get the worry over symptoms as I'm 6.2 weeks now and still not even one symptom! From what we've all discussed previously/ what I've read online it seems that symptoms (if you have them) can fluctuate across a week.

@SammiLou2312 After 2 MCs I've just maintained the usual of telling the people close to me... family, friends and colleagues. I've never kept my MC a secret so I'd rather everyone I know that I see on a regular basis knows... in case the worst happens again. For me personally, it's good to get it out there in awareness and for people to know what I'm going through. My first MC was such a huge shock, and I think part of it was because I never knew how common it was - no one in my life had ever told me they'd had one. Until I told them... then lots of stories flooded in. Totally respect everyone else's decision though... it's so personal!

xxx

@avocadoincident sorry you are having spotting. It won't be what you want to hear but I would wait until Monday if you have a scan booked. I've been to A&E before with bleeding - it was bright red at 10 weeks and they just did a pregnancy test and referred me to the EPU on Monday. Take it easy and try to distract yourself (easier said than done!). What time is your scan Monday? Maybe try to have it first thing? I've had all these things myself and it has been fine but I know it's terrifying x

@Seahawk80 thanks I will have to wait. I rang epu and they said rest and ring back if it becomes red.

Not sure how I'm going to get through the weekend as I'm so scared now

Hope you're ok @avocadoincident xx I echo Seahawk here... this happened to me once and I sat in A + E on a weekend for about 8 hours, it was dreadful. Only to be told to go to the EPU on Monday when it opened. I know it's so hard, but I'm hoping you can stay calm and look after yourself xxx

Thank you @SW83

It says a lot that my first port of call was this thread. I knew you'd all know what to do.

@avocadoincident I’ve been there a few times (once on holiday) and every time we’ve waited hours to see a dr who did a pregnancy test (positive) then referred me to EPU a few days later.
Bleeding isn’t always bad, I had it with my son and it turned out to be ectropian cervix.
Do you have any plans this weekend to distract you?

@avocadoincident I had some brownish spotting at around 5 and a half weeks. When I spoke to my sister about it she said it was probably just some old blood that was left behind from last period that had worked its way out due to my uterus starting to expand. Told me not to worry unless it was bright red or pink or if I got really bad cramps along side it. I'd echo what others have said and try wait till Monday if you have a scan then. Maybe find something you can watch on TV or a movie to occupy your mind a little x

We were going out for a long walk with friends @HighHopes20 but I've cancelled. I'm cramping all over my tummy and back and can't face anyone.

Things aren't looking good here as discharge is pink now and very mucus like.

I'm in bed and I have a date with the TV to watch the 6 nations later.