The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #6 - 🐧 The Penguin Huddle 🐧

[KnitKitty]

This is a safe space and supportive thread for anyone who is pregnant following a loss. We all understand the worry and anxiety that can come from being pregnant again following miscarriage/stillbirth.

Please feel free to join, even if you were not on the original TTC thread.

Starting the roll call copied from the last thread. Not everyone is on there, so please add to it/update/edit.
Also, thought it might be fun if we add Girl/Boy/Surprise on there too, so we can see who's expecting what

@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 32, EDD 29/01/20 - Girl
@UnicornsandRainsbows1, 29, EDD 29/01/2020
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@ChikiTIKI , 29, EDD 04/04/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Catconfusion, 40, EDD 12/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 13/04/20
@TinyPaws, 33, EDD 18/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@Dimblebimble, 29, EDD 29/4/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020
@SunshineCrocodile, 37, EDD 4/6/2020
@TwittleBee , 25, EDD 25/06/20

And a shout-out to the Mamas who have already had their beautiful babas!
@Boboelephant, @Yukka, @Melpops36, @Beaglemum93 and a special mention for our hero mum @Squiff70 who we continue to keep in our thoughts and prayers.

Arh that would be great @Laney79 if you don’t mind. Me and DH we’re looking at it last night and there’s so much information. Email is [email protected].

In other news, I had a really strange nights sleep. I think I was getting Braxton Hicks in my sleep. I have this vague recollection of a strong tightening sensation that lasted about 3 seconds. This happened about 3 times. DH says I was crying out. After each one baby really aggressively kicked me. After the third time I wondered if I should go in for monitoring but it died down. I feel a bit like a period is coming but no more contractions as such. Baby is wriggling as normal. I’m 32 plus 4 today so obviously quite early but carrying a big baby with excess fluid so feeling and looking ready to pop. Has anyone else had this or similar? xx

Regarding elective vs emergency sections, I can only offer anecdotal experience but my elective was a world away from the emergency. I was in and out of the theatre within an hour and home the next day. The radio was playing. The surgeons were talking about what they were having for lunch (this pissed me off initially but I soon realised it was a good sign!) and the team were laughing and smiling. I was encourage to get up and move later that afternoon and was walking (albeit slowly!) about by the evening. Home the next day. Forgotten about within a week, I just felt so normal (bar the having a baby bit!)

Can't remember who said they didn't want any more unplanned trauma - that's exactly how I felt. After a bad first birth, a miscarriage and ectopic surgery, I needed to be in control of the situation this time.

It was brilliant and frankly I'd recommend an elective c section to anyone!

Ps take some mint tea with you to hospital to help your bowel movements! I found the trapped wind and constipation the hardest thing!

Thanks @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue that’s really useful. Everyone I know who’s had an elective recovered quickly and had a good experience. Emergency ones do seem a bit traumatic. Great tip with the mint tea! xx

Hi @Catconfusion my stomach is regularly right esp at night and if there's any water in my bladder. I have very uncomfortable tightening all the time. This doesn't worry me too much as despite the polyhydriamnos, big baby and risk of early labour I had it with my current child too. The tightening are very uncomfortable and sometimes last a while. I'm also having period pains and had them on and off for about three weeks now... Since about 33 weeks they are less regular than the tightening. But the other night was pretty bad and I thought I was going into labour. I'll mention it at my 36 week scan though.

Ok thanks @rubyroost. It sounds normal then. Does the baby become more active after an episode of tightening? I’m presuming they are Braxton Hicks and the tightening woke him up.

How long have you got before your 36 week scan? I’m in again two weeks on Friday so will mention it if it continues. I guess as long as baby is active and they are not coming really regularly it’s just the body gearing up for labour. x

@Catconfusion Monday.. Believe it or not! Because baby has gone from breech to transverse, they need to see me again. Apparently transverse is worse than breech and more risk of prolapse. 😲Think it's because of all the fluid that hes moved.

@Catconfusion I've had similar the last week or so. Constipation seems to be contributing too. I'm also carrying a big baby and was told I had polyhydramnios at my 28 week scan although my fluid levels have now dropped into the top end of the normal range.

@TinyPaws I'm so hoping my fluid levels have dropped next scan. I'm soooo jealous of your fluid levels 😂 but good for you x

That’s good @rubyroost not long now then. Fingers crossed your levels have dropped.

@TinyPaws thanks, I wondered if constipation was making it worse. Great news about your levels dropping. I’m hoping mine have too at the next scan in a couple of weeks . Xx

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @Catconfusion I've got some prune juice ready and waiting in the fridge. I bought it for constipation in pregnancy but with my diabetes diagnosis I can't drink it. I know ill be pleased of it when I have my c section, whether it's emergency or elective. I'm hoping its elective! 🤞 Although I don't know how calm it will be, I know they have to have blood on stand by etc as there's risk of bleeding etc. 😭

Thats wise @rubyroost

I hope you get the elective option. Though I've heard emergency ones are sometimes nice and calm if its not because of something really serious going on. I have friends who've had transfusions and it sounds like they hook you up really quickly should you need it whether in the operating theatre or labour ward. I know it's really hard not to worry but the chances are you'll be just fine. It's so much harder after loss. xx

Fingers crossed for reduced fluid levels for you @Rubyroost and @Catconfusion.

Movicol/laxido is brilliant stuff, if you can get your GP to prescribe it. I think you can buy it over the counter but IIRC it's expensive.

Hi all,

I've once again lost track on the thread so apologies for the selfish post.

Had scan today, and luckily AF is now at the high end of the normal range, but it is down. Which I am relieved about.
Baby continues to drop on growth chart but they are happy that in normal range so 74th 4 weeks ago, 52nd 2 weeks ago and 34th today.
Baby is also transverse @rubyroost and so had the same chat today about the cord risk and if I go into labour I need to get to hospital immediately. They are also arranging an appointment for me to have steroids, in case baby comes before my planned section at 38+1.

@tinypaws I hear you on the constipation front. 😬

@Catconfusion I am in the opposite position of always having thought I'd be induction and my consultant fairly adamant that I would be a section. I've done lots of reading and it's all pros and cons and confusing isn't it. Ultimately I have accepted the section decision as baby remains transverse.

I had talked today to my consultant about a natural caesarean which he is happy to do if no urgency. Anyone else doing this? X

@fnej01 I am hoping to have some elements of a natural cesarean but haven't discussed it with anyone. Consultant scheduled the c section at 20 weeks and I didn't ask any questions at all, I just wanted it booked. Won't see them again until the day of the section, or whoever does it. Going to a class about planned c sections next month though so hoping to find out more then about what my options are. Would love to lift the baby out myself but realise a lot of consultants wouldn't want that due to increased infection risk. Would like to see the baby being born though!

What kind of things will you be requesting in your birth plan?

Hi @ChikiTIKI
I need to write out my birth preferences this weekend, but mainly as long as everything is clinically appropriate I have asked if they will get baby's head out/in the right place and then let baby find there own way out of the incision. Which they are very happy to do if all is well, as it gives baby a chance to squeeze out some of the gunk off lungs. It also has some benefits for the uterus as well.
We will also asked for delayed clamping of the cord and as long as baby is well, me to have skin to skin in the operating theatre, so monitoring leads on my back if poss.
Would like the drapes to be down at delivery so that we see them come out, and for us to see the gender rather than be told.
Consultant said very happy with all that, but that if he had any concerns about me or baby they would just get on with it, which I am totally fine with.
I have watched a couple of natural sections on you tube...
I really didn't want a section, but am glad to feel I have some control x

@fnej01 that sounds really good!! I would like something along the same lines although not sure how it would work if my baby stays breech. I had a scare with DD1 who was born by ventouse where she was choking on mucus one morning a few days later while we were still in the hospital. She was OK after a couple of people hit her on the back but I was told after I should have pulled the emergency button. Was pretty terrifying and I think probably the reason I check her breathing every night 2 years later! After a c section they put the baby on a sloped cot for at least 12-24 hours though to help them get rid of the mucus. I suppose they aren't really strong enough to cough it up so they put them like that so they can swallow it down.

My husband doesn't cope well with medical stuff involving blood so I am a bit apprehensive about that and how much he will see. He will come with me to the planned c section class though so we will have a chat after about what we want to do.

My baby is constantly either transverse or breech but Consultant said he would try to do minimal whilst getting baby in best position. @ChikiTIKI
I figure I can only ask - what will be will be.
That sounds awfully scary with your first!
I am fortunate DH works in a hosp as a clinical engineer so pretty comfortable in operating theatre
Planned csection class sounds really good. Where I am all they ever want to discuss is a natural birth - which is all very well if you are having one. I've ended up asking lots of annoying questions of how things work!

The natural birth thing is pretty much par for the course I think @fnej01 I had to justify my decision for an elective and they kept trying to change my mind to vbac. But I just stuck to my guns. Turns out now with baby position and size I've got no choice anyhow!
I can't believe there's so many of us with extra fluid and baby's in wrong position.. Considering the stats on the Internet suggest these things are uncommon. I'm beginning to think the stats are bullshit.
@Mistymeow how are things with you?
@sadtoday21 whens your next scan? How you feeling? How long now?
Re natural c section. I haven't bothered asking for one. I think I'll just go with the trad method. I didn't get to hold baby for a bit as was in so much pain when they were stitching me up. My partner had him and then he got put on me towards the end of my stitches. It was all fine and I was just so glad he arrived safe and sound.

Hey @Rubyroost thanks for asking after me! I don't have any more scans scheduled (the 36 week one was the last). I am 37+1 now and had a consultant appointment yesterday to review the results of the last scan. He was really good and managed to reassure me that the drop in growth is not overly concerning (the abdominal circumference has almost stayed the same) and placenta/blood flow look good.

He said I don't need any more scans and even offered me the group B strep test for free when I told him I was concerned and wanted to pay for it privately. So I managed to have the test exactly at the 37 week cut-off mark and will be getting IV antibiotics if it comes back positive. The consultant also signed me off for a stretch and sweep at my next midwife appointment (38+5) and at 39/40 weeks. He even offered to book an induction for me at 41 weeks if I'm really concerned about going over, so I feel relieved they took my concerns very seriously. I'm planning to have the sweep at 38+5 if the cervix is favourable for it. And the very kind midwife in attendance also gave me some syringes and showed me how to hand express colostrum - and I have some! I was shocked it came out like that, as I've had no signs of any milk production gearing up. It's hard to get the hang of though, I'm a bit too gentle with myself to stimulate flow and might put it off another week. The midwife said nipple stimulation can help promote labour, so that's why she showed me how to do it. I'm hoping to have a natural labour in the midwife suite, but I'll do whatever is best for the baby when the time comes. My birth plan is very minimal, I'm not sure they even read them tbh, but hoping to manage with gas and air and possibly hot water bottles/the pool. I feel like I'm not mentally prepared for the pain though, I really don't know what to expect and it's a bit scary. All very surreal.

How many weeks are you now @Rubyroost? How are you feeling about the c-section? I hope your baby gets back into position and the fluid levels go down at your next appointment!

@strawberrye @fnej01 you ladies must also be getting close now? How are you both feeling?

@Catconfusion I haven't had any tightenings or braxton hicks like you describe, but I think with a first baby it can be normal either way. Period like pains can be an early sign of labour, from what I have read, but probably not if you don't have any bleeding or mucusy discharge with it. Definitely contact the midwife though if your pains get worse. I don't have any signs of labour! I know it's still early at 37+1 though, so trying (and failing) to be patient. FX that your next scan goes well and you have more clarity on the fluid levels and what to expect next. Xxx

@fnej01 sorry I didn't realise your baby was in a similar position too, it's hard to keep up with this thread!! That's promising though. I would definitely like to ask for that then. I am trying to put off thinking about the actual day too much but I will have a go at writing out my questions and requests soon so I can change my list as I learn more.

I'm 36 weeks tomorrow @sadtoday21. I'm fine with the c section, I'm just hoping they agree to 38 weeks at my next scan 🤞 as I'm terrified of going into early labour and the possible complications inc emergency c section which Id rather not have.
Also fed up of people saying you must be near your due date, yes I look like I'm carrying twins, but that's because I have excess fluids and gest diabetes, now fuck off!!! Well that's what I want to say anyway. 😂
I'm supposed to harvest colostrum apparently as I have gest diabetes, but no chance I'm doing that and risking early labour. So will just have to take my pump and pump some as soon as I can and take some formula just in case. Shame they don't have a load of donor colostrum at the hospital isn't it.
Sounds like you have a really good consultant though and good of them to offer you that test.

@rubyroost thanks for asking! All good here thanks. Saw the consultant a few days ago and she says baby is growing great which I was really relieved to hear. My insulin is up a unit to help with fasting levels and I’ve had the odd high, but generally I’m coping. Just discovered sugar free jelly and cream, yum. They plan to induce at 39 weeks. Sorry to hear you still have so much worry and him being transverse- will this affect your c section? Will you get a date for this after your scan? I hope you get some good news, these last weeks are hard. My baby is breech but they are hoping she will turn.
@Catconfusion sorry to hear you have excess fluid- but no GD? That’s a good sign. I’ve had braxton hicks since 15 weeks, a bit disconcerting at first but I’m used to them now. If they are very painful I would speak to triage.
@sadtoday21 that’s good the consultant has provided you with reassurance- it means so much these final anxious weeks. Sounds like baby is doing well :)

Interesting hearing about the natural c sections. I’m hoping to avoid a c section but if I have one I would love to have baby placed on me straight away. But I’ll do anything to get her here safely. I’ve been reading some horror stories about inductions with GD and they really are not helping.

I’ve had a lovely baby moon at a spa, had a pregnancy massage and lazed by the pool. Everything I needed. Well, apart from a plate of donuts :p

Hi everyone, how are you all?

Ava is 3 months old today. We're still in NICU and waiting for her to grow before she can have surgery to re-join her bowel. She's 2kg now and needs to be about 3kg. She's still on CPAP.

Some days we feel like we're drowning is stress and fear (like today). Other days we look for little wins and focus on how well she is doing and how far she has come.

We still haven't had Elliott's funeral but we have a date now - 3rd March. We're still at a different hospital nowhere near home but we will be spending time at home next week to prepare Ava's room etc.

It's a very long and painful journey. I just want to take my baby home.

PS. Really glad to see the thread has been moved back to Pregnancy. 'Birth Clubs' was totally inappropriate.