The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #6 - 🐧 The Penguin Huddle 🐧

[KnitKitty]

This is a safe space and supportive thread for anyone who is pregnant following a loss. We all understand the worry and anxiety that can come from being pregnant again following miscarriage/stillbirth.

Please feel free to join, even if you were not on the original TTC thread.

Starting the roll call copied from the last thread. Not everyone is on there, so please add to it/update/edit.
Also, thought it might be fun if we add Girl/Boy/Surprise on there too, so we can see who's expecting what

@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 32, EDD 29/01/20 - Girl
@UnicornsandRainsbows1, 29, EDD 29/01/2020
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@ChikiTIKI , 29, EDD 04/04/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Catconfusion, 40, EDD 12/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 13/04/20
@TinyPaws, 33, EDD 18/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@Dimblebimble, 29, EDD 29/4/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020
@SunshineCrocodile, 37, EDD 4/6/2020
@TwittleBee , 25, EDD 25/06/20

And a shout-out to the Mamas who have already had their beautiful babas!
@Boboelephant, @Yukka, @Melpops36, @Beaglemum93 and a special mention for our hero mum @Squiff70 who we continue to keep in our thoughts and prayers.

@Rubyroost I have antiphospholipid syndrome and a high number of inflammatory cells in my uterus so have had steroids to control inflammation and heparin to prevent blood clotting, and normal aspirin and progesterone, however am high risk of the placenta failing (catastrophically) through blood supply failure or premature labour. Basically my immune system won't recognise my baby. Blood flow is there main interest but whilst is getting worst is not drastic 🤞
The steroids also increase likeliness of GD hence concerns about tummy size at last scan.
My risk rise significantly of not bringing a baby home from 37 weeks hence they scan so much, and plan to deliver 38 at the latest.
It took 5 pregnancies to find the right drug combo to stop me rejecting baby.
Next check Friday it's all very stress inducing but one step at a time. I am under our hospital fetal medicine lead, I can call him 24-7 and he's been amazing.

Your consultant sounds good and as she works across both private and nhs am sure you will be fine and she'll get you the right checks.

@fnej01 gosh that's so bloody stressful for you. It's bad enough having to endure this stress towards the end of my pregnancy, but having that stress all the way through. I don't know how you do it!
@Indreamland I had lots of instances of reduced/changed movements with my last boy. I think you'll be alright. As soon as the straps go on, he will start kicking. But you're right to get it checked. Hope all goes okay, hey, not long now for you. X

@InDreamland you are doing the right thing getting checked out, it's what the midwives advise, just doesn't help with stress levels.

@fnej01 I'm glad you have a supportive team around you and they have a plan to get little one out. I tested negative for the antiphospholipid but will be under close month till little one arrives as I have an inactive autoimmune issue (probably lupus or Sjögren's) which could mean a small baby. Also just had a letter from the hospital saying the care the baby will need upon delivery - apparently a 12 lead ecg (May turn into a 24 hour one if needed) plus a a full paediatric assessment. I wasn't expecting the letter so upset me a bit (even though it shows they are taking the right action)
@Rubyroost it's shocking that you have had to go the private root when you have been raising concerns with the nhs. I hope they take note and get you seen to properly.
@Squiff70 I'm amazed at how much Ava has grown, so pleased she has moved off the ventilator. The surgeries must be a stressful time for you, you are doing amazingly and so is your little girl.
@Twittlebee you are being so strong, it's no wonder your mind is playing tricks with the whole coffee thing when you must be anxious all the time. Glad you can work from home at least, but sad that this is making you feel trapped. I really hope your scan goes well on Thursday.

Bump has made it to 26 weeks, midwife heartbeat check on Friday then growth scans kick in on Valentine's Day. Have now bought stuff for my maternity bag and and a few vests and babygros. DH is trying to get me to buy some bigger bits but I'm not mentally ready yet. Still only 9 weeks to go at work and cannot wait!

Thanks ladies. All is okay thankfully. Bubsy needed waking up though so was on the monitor for an hour. I'm so relieved for now, any change of movement is so scary. I need to do something about my anxiety though as the nightmares the past few nights have been horrible. Anyone else getting anxiety nightmares?

@fnej01 goodness sounds like you have so much being treated and monitored.

@Rubyroost thanks. Yep, 38 weeks today.

@Kayjay2018 thank you, the midwives said the same, any worry then call up and go in for monitoring/reassurance and actually I should have gone in earlier today rather than seen what happened later in the day - she said 2-3 hours rather than go a full day before calling. Yay for reaching 26 weeks! I understand your hesitation at buying larger items, I'm on the same page as you there as you probably know from this thread I've been very reluctant to get anything apart from the absolute essentials (the small stuff) then the car seat when I was 33/34 weeks. Buy when you're ready to, no rush yet.

Hi lovely ladies.

I often read this thread but don't have time to reply...

I just want to say I'm sorry so many of you are having such hard and worrying times. I'm glad to hear you're both being monitored and cared for @Rubyroost and @Mistymeow. I know you must be really anxious. Also sorry to hear so many of you are having problems at work. Cant believe workplaces can get away with treating pregnant women like that!

@kayjay2018 - your pregnancy seems to have flown by! Hoping all your checks go ok and things continue to progress well.

@InDreamland sorry you've had a movement scare but glad all is ok. Also - 38 WEEKS!!!! It really could be any day now!

@TwittleBee I hope you are managing to rest and I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

@Squiff70 Ava is scrumptious! You must be so proud. Always thinking of you.

Sorry to anyone I've missed! xxx

@InDreamland glad everything is ok with baby. I'm sorry about your friend, I have a very similar situation. We went away with them and some other friends a couple of weekends ago and although we've constantly been messaging, it was the first time she has seen me since I've been pregnant (we're 4 hours away from eachother). She obviously really struggled with seeing me, was quite hostile and made some rather cutting remarks about things I was doing (carrying not very heavy weekend bag in from the car, having a small spitza etc). She hasn't replied to my messages since the weekend and I don't know whether to just give her space or push it. I know she's got an appointment coming up and usually she talks to me about it. I just feel a bit sad I think.

@Squiff70 Ava is marvellous 😍 I'm so pleased to hear she is doing well after all you've both been through.

36+5 and I've been awake most of the early morning with BH. Seems to have tailed off now but I'm like the walking dead and I've picked up my toddler's cold as well.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue thank you, hope your baby boy is doing well.
@fnej01 I remember you very well from the penguin huddle, you’ve been through so much. The last stretch is definitely nerve wracking. You’re right to take it one step at a time.
@Kayjay2018 sorry the letter upset you. No one wants their newborn needing special care when they arrive, when they told me that was one of the risks I did get very upset. But it’s so good they are being thorough, and also it gives you time to digest and prepare for it.
@Squiff70 wow, she’s grown! Sorry to hear that surgery is imminent but pleased to hear about her progress. Hope you’re feeling ok too.
@Twittlebee that sounds scary, I had a worry that my waters had broken when I had a virus. Good that you can work from home as I’m sure you need the distraction. Have you had your 20 week scan? I hope you’re getting good support.
@InDreamland sounds like you’ve got a very cheeky baby who likes their quiet time! Glad all is well. I get bad dreams when I’m feeling worried, if I’ve got a scan coming up etc. It’s made worse by the hormones. It’s probably because you’re so close to the birth. See what your midwife says.
@Rubyroost I’m sorry to hear about the fluid, that’s really not what you need. Sounds like you’ve got a great consultant. Remind me when your next appointment is?

I’ve been put straight on insulin which in all honesty hasn’t been bad at all. They think because I’m having a smaller baby that metmorfin isn’t a good option because apparently it can slow down baby’s growth (very small risk but not worth taking). I saw a consultant obstetrician and diabetic consultant- was very impressed. They will induce me at 39 weeks or earlier if they have concerns. I am worried about her growth, even though she is on track with her chart, and they said it could well be genetic (both me and dh are little). I took my first injection last night and had a normal reading this morning so that’s promising. Sorry to go on about the GD too, just came as a shock!

@Mistymeow I'm so jealous about your insulin 😂 I've been reading about metaformin and it takes a few days to kick in and then apparently isn't always really effective. I just want my blood sugars in control Now 😭

Scrambled eggs and salmon for breakfast for the third day in a row

@indreamland glad monitoring was ok and baby doing fine. So scary isn't it when there are less movements

@kayjay2018 that's really interesting about the ECG, and I completely understand why you are upset. No one has particularly mentioned any additional tests for baby to me. Just that a paediatrician and a special care nurse will be present at my c section if there are any concerns but I think that is the norm. My diagnosis is APS positive but lupus negative. However they do think that I have a bigger autoimmune issue going on as I suffer lots of other symptoms such as Reynards and high levels of inflammatory cells. I will probably look into a full diagnosis in the future.

@frillyfarmer sorry you have had a rough night. Hope your toddler is kind to you today

@Mistymeow glad the insulin seems to have worked well and that you are getting good care. Hopefully your little one is just petite. I do agree this is the most nerve wracking part so far. I feel so near yet so far away.

@Rubyroost have you joined any Facebook groups for GD. A friend of mine got lots of recipes and ideas off of them.

Thanks all for the moral support and empathy yesterday. I'd had a shit conversation with one of my best friends who basically made me feel that I was making a fuss about nothing and clearly baby is going to be fine. She rounded off the text with a 'and even if they're not, worrying about it won't change that'. I was really disappointed in her as she knows my history and should know that I will be anxious until baby is in my arms. Needless to say I am going to keep my distance for a few weeks and avoid any further pep talks as it really upset me! Anyway your kind words were much appreciated x

@fnej01 I'm showing as APS negative, inflammatory markers all negative yet positive ANA which means something is going on! As I have no aches or pains I've basically been told not to worry and only go to GP if I get symptoms of aches or dry eyes at which point I'll get referred to a rheumatologist again. For me, it's specifically the RO52 and RO60 antibodies that came back positive, hence the worries about babies heart and ECG. I feel bad that my body means it will need extra checks when it arrives and bless her, my mum is feeling guilty as she has LUpus SLE and feels she gave me the problems!!

I'd definitely look to avoid people who are not being supportive, your concerns are real and shouldn't be dismissed by anybody.

@Mistymeow thank you. I think it was just a shock as no one had mentioned it before. I am going to also ask about the risk of the antibodies as I'd love to breastfeed but obviously won't if that continues the risk to bump when he or she arrives - so many questions!!

Glad it seems like the insulin is having an impact.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue thank you - since Christmas things seem to have speeded up. I want to get beyond 28 weeks and then 30 are my two next milestones and after that my next one will be my 33 week heart scan. Maybe I'll relax at that point (probably not)

@fnej01 yes I have thanks. Joined the other day and been accepted today.
Well went to my nurse appt today she basically told me what carbs are and told me I need to eat the same amount of carbs as a normal person. I won't, because I know it raises my blood sugar ridiculously. On a positive I was 4.9 today after breakfast 🎉🎉🎉

@Kayjay2018 sorry selfish post- gosh that must be worrying. I don't quite understand it all, but to be worried about babys heat etc my anxiety would hit the roof.

@Rubyroost that's great news on your blood sugars!! You ladies are the only people who really understand my pregnancy anxieties. I'm hoping babies heart is ok as risks have lowered since 24 weeks and should almost go from 30 weeks. Worst case doesn't really bear thinking about so trying to be optimistic that % risk is low. I just hate the thought of them being so tiny and strapped up to it (although I do know it's good they will be checked). I also assume it means I will be consultant led through till birth so no option of the hospital birthing centre which would have been nice

I know how you both feel regarding your friends @frillyfarmer and @InDreamland. I have a very close friend (we met at work and were pregnant/had babies together) who had PCOS and has struggled to conceive her second child. I obviously had my MC and ectopic and now son, but in those 18 months she hasn't even got pregnant - she had very irregular periods. She has been quite open, I think because of what I went through and I know she is struggling, We text every now and then and she congratulated me on Little Brother's arrival but she hasn't seen me since last summer. I miss her and her son but I know how she feels and why she doesn't want to see me. It sucks when you care about the person but also understand why they feel/behave the way they do. All I hope is that she gets some happy news and comes back into my life when she is ready.

@sadtoday21 sorry I think in my anxiety yesterday I didn't answer some of your questions or respond to what you had posted. My last day in the office was when I was 36 weeks exactly. It'll be good for you to pop your feet up soon or at least slow down so you can try enjoy some down time before baby comes along, even if not formally mat leave. Sorry you feel you're missing out a bit with no family here to do you a baby shower. Do you have friends who could organise something for you? Or maybe you get a group of friends together for say an afternoon tea or dinner somewhere nice as a final celebration before baby is born (maybe a non-child friendly establishment you won't be able to go to for a while after baby is born). I have to admit I've not wanted to do anything like a baby shower, generally not a fan of them but also after the journey we've had to get to this point I am too scared to do any celebration before I have a healthy take home baby. Any celebration will be Bubsy's Baptism as long as we get to that point. My parish priest actually asked me on Sunday when we will be presenting baby at the altar haha! Made me laugh. Must be difficult to not be able to have anyone give you any baby stuff and needing to get absolutely everything on a student budget. I do believe DH and I have been really lucky. I think if we didn't have SIL giving us a lot of the things she has I'd be on ebay buying things that can be well washed in the washing machine (clothes) and things like moses baskets can be easily cleaned plus the materials can all go in the washing machine. I did look at Bugaboos on ebay before deciding to buy brand new, mainly because I felt I wanted to get a few things new for Bubsy rather than all second hand or hand me downs, plus with the discount I got it worked out the saving of getting a used bugaboo on ebay would be approx £150 which we're happy to swallow. Could ebay or gumtree help with savings on baby items?

@fnej01 how's the washing of the newborn outfits and hospital bag packing going? Sorry you had those comments from your friend, not very supportive at all. Definitely keep a distance for a while if you can. Some people are just insensitive.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue thank you. I fear Bubsy is going to be really late. Just hope not more than a week late. I'm so done being pregnant. How is little brother doing? Hope all is well. Sorry you too have a friend with a similar situation, it is a common issue I'm afraid. Something though I totally understand and empathise with.

@frillyfarmer sorry you're having a similar situation with a friend. I think it's harder when we've had a difficult time too and in a way totally do understand the emotions and feelings that go with infertility and/or pregnancy loss and those feelings of despair whilst others are pregnant or have a baby. The experience has turned me into an ugly, angry, bitter and jealous person and I know I'll never really recover from it but will learn how to cope with those feelings over time. Your friend though sounds like she's over stepped the mark with her remarks. There's no need for that. I'd be avoiding her now if it were me. Reminds me of when this friend told me 1 month after my second loss that her situation is worse than mine because at least I could now seem to get pregnant (after she knows it took 5 years to get pregnant with the first one), I dismissed her comment at the time as just out of her own frustration and sadness at not being able to experience pregnancy. I just feel really bad that I've made my friend feel she cannot see me now and needs to distance herself when I do know how it feels, it is a self preservation move. Thing is I admit I would do the same. Just wish she could have a little miracle. I'd love to see her happy with her own baby but I know all odds are against her with her condition and IVF has been pretty much ruled out as they're not eligible for NHS funding (2 DSS from her DHs first marriage) and then there's other things I won't go into here. It's so sad and life really is unfair. We have to just remind ourselves that it isn't necessarily that we have done something bad to them and that it is their issue and not ours sadly. We can only wish them well and hope somehow that little miracle can happen for them. It's okay to feel sad about it.

@Mistymeow thanks for sharing you also get bad dreams, I have told DH about them but I feel stupid and pathetic when I tell him. He just doesn't get the anxiety, he's more excited than worried now. Even last night when he got in and I told him we need to get to hospital (he hadn't seen my text about Bubsy needing monitoring for reduced movements) he got really excited thinking for a second labour had started. Yep, Bubsy is definitely cheeky because there's been plenty of wriggling about today. Good that you're on insulin and seems to be okay plus sounds like there's a plan in place for the birth and you are being well looked after. Don't apologise about talking about GD here, it's good to share if you're happy to as others may learn something and it may help another member of our little club.

@Rubyroost that is a very posh brekkie, yum! Very millennial lol, just missing the avocado and should be on sourdough toast 😉

@Kayjay2018 so sorry you have all these worries and stresses. I don't even know where to start as I know of it was me I'd be a mess. Think you're doing amazing though and you will both be well looked after by the professionals. Keeping fx that all will be well for you and baby Kayjay and thst each milestone you've set comes and passes with all looking good so you can hopefully feel better and more confident.

I am feeling wiped out today. Broken poor sleep again last night. DH snoring constantly did not help. Feeling nauseous again today. I seem to have an okay day and then next day I'll be next to useless. At least I have an active baby today so I'm not worrying about movements. I've been off work for 2 weeks now and don't feel I've been that productive even though all the laundry for Bubsy has been done (3 loads) and put away. Hospital bags all packed and ready to go. Batch cooking all done and freezers full. Met up with a friend yesterday for a cuppa and catch up which was nice. Think I'm feeling a bit lost at the moment. Like in limbo land.

@Indreamland. Don't worry I had avocado for lunch. 👍As for sour dough toast.. How's the carbs in that? So for lunch I dared to have a slice of wholemeal toast with my salad. And my levels are still fine. Just need to see what tonight brings. I'm on a gestational diabetes Facebook group so I'll try not to bore you ladies with the details. My main worry now I guess is the polydriamnos.. Seems to be creeping up quickly, that's if the scan a week ago was accurate.
I went in today to give them scan results and let them know the private consultants recommendations, had to go through a midwife as obviously the consultant can't be contacted directly. She basically said that she knows that he will go from the measurements taken a week ago at the hospital scan and not from the scan from a private company as he was a very senior consuktant. I did mention that she was a fetal medicine specialist and that she obviously felt she had a duty of care as if they refused she has offered to scan me herself at the fetal medicine unit at another hospital. To be honest, I think it was the midwife. But she says it is unlikely she can get hold of him until Monday. Ah well if the worst comes to the worst I will get in touch with her and she can scan me, though I think that would be very embarrassing from the hospitals point of view.

@sadtoday21 Hope your little one has grown nicely at you next scan. When is it again?

@rubyroost Glad you are on some treatment for your GD but sorry about the polyhydramios diagnosis and sorry the hospital aren't being helpful!

@fnej01 You've reminded me I actually have a blood glucose monitor somewhere... tempted to get it out and test myself, don't know why I didn't think of this before! (Especially as at 20 week scan abdomen was 98th percentile and I even asked if I should be tested for GD - they said no!). Remind me how many weeks you are now - are you on the home stretch? Autoimmune issues are so difficult as nobody knows what's going on. I'm ANA and APS negative but positive for thyroid autoantibodies (TPO and TGAb), my rheumatoid factor is also randomly positive but clinically I don't have rheumatoid arthritis. I have a strong family history of autoimmune disease, Reynaud's disease, migraines, issues with gluten etc (but negative coeliac screen). A while ago I put myself on a crazy supplement regime and a lot of my unexplained symptoms (which I had always put down to being lazy/unmotivated/a hyperchondriac) cleared up. I also felt much better as soon as I went on low dose steroids (I'm convinced the steroids are the factor that allowed this pregnancy to continue when the others failed).

@Mistymeow I'm so sorry you're experiencing problems at work. It completely sucks. My boss is a complete Jekyll and Hyde character, she was a complete nightmare last week but then super supportive and helpful as soon as I told her about the extra appointments for polyhydramnios. 6 1/2 weeks until I go off on annual leave before maternity leave. Glad you are getting on ok with the insulin and hope your baby continues to grow and that her smaller size is just due to genetics!

@frillyfarmer Sorry you are also having workplace issues, if they won't move your mat leave dates just get signed off sick then they will have to cover your sickness and your mat leave and you will get more time off. Sorry also to hear that you're feeling poorly, hope you feel better soon!

The appraisal issue sounds sadly familiar my boss insisted on changing my objectives 2.5 months AFTER my appraisal and some of the new ones had completely unrealistic timescales. Also she claimed I have not completed my mandatory training (I have), insisted that I book onto training that does not exist, berated me for not following instructions that she had in fact not given, asked me to implement outcome measures that are simply not applicable to my line of work. On top of that it was abundantly clear that she had not in fact read the appraisal document that I had completed! Grrr!

@Squiff70 Glad to hear that baby Ava is doing well although the upcoming surgery must be a bit stressful! Love the pic, she's gorgeous!

@Twittlebee Glad little one is staying put for now and hope he/she can stay there for at least a few more weeks, ideally longer! Please take it easy and rest rest rest,

@InDreamland Sorry you've had a scare but glad all is ok! You're in the final stretch now, can't wait to hear of the arrival of BabyDreamland!

@Kayjay2018 Good luck for the growth scan. Glad I am not the only one on countdown to mat leave!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue Lovely to hear from you but sorry about your friend.

As for me I'm now 29+4. Had my GTT test today and on standby waiting to hear if I've got GD or not. Got a scan tomorrow for doppler and fluid volume, my bump feels huge so suspect the fluid has increased. Am shitting myself slightly as last week after the polyhydramnios diagnosis they told me I must come in straight away if my waters broke or I started to have contractions. We are not ready for baby to be here yet!

Oh and re: the thread location I reported it to mumsnet and they said they're happy to move it but want to check with the OP first, but obviously KnitKitty has recently had her baby and hasn't been on mumsnet for a while so she probably hasn't seen the message.

Thanks @TinyPaws and good luck for your scan today! Fingers crossed your test results come back clear. My growth scan is next Thursday, which feels farther away than I would like! Really hope baby boy is ok and has gained some weight.

@InDreamland I’m sorry to hear about your reduced movement episode and anxiety towards the end. I’m the same way as you and also having the bad dreams too. I’ll be 36 weeks next week, so I guess it’s about time for me to start wrapping up things as well. I had a huge work event last night which went well, but people were surprised I was still taking on so much. I was just happy I could find a suit to fit, but worried a lot about all the hand shaking and possible germs and then was running around so not eating as well or tracking movement as I like to. Now I’m hoping to slow down more and focus on baby. It is really nerve wracking towards the end and my DH doesn’t totally understand my anxiety either - he thinks reduced movement is in my mind and never wants to go in (but then comes with me every time and worries too I can tell). I think men just cope with anxiety differently. Will you be induced if you get to 40 weeks? I’ve already told my midwife I don’t want to go over at all because of risks and will ask for sweeps induction all of it. Maybe you could do the same?

@fnej01 I’m so sorry for everything you have gone through to get to this point, that’s really tough. Have you packed your hospital bag yet and are you generally ready to go? How are you feeling with only a few weeks left?

@Kayjay2018 Good luck with your growth scan!

I’m 35 weeks today and clearly awake early with insomnia/hunger/restlessness. The next week is going to be really hard for me - it’s both the anniversary of my mmc and my mums passing. I’m not superstitious, but I’m petrified of this week and I have so many appointments for baby at the same time I just really hope everything is ok. I know you ladies understand this fear, it just takes my breath away sometimes and I want to break down and cry.

This thread is becoming active again isnt it! Lots to catch up on it seems!

We could always just start a new thread elsewhere if we want to move out of Birth Clubs?

This next week really is going to be a particularly tough one @sadtoday21 and my thoughts are with you. Hopefully all the appointments for baby are lovely and positive and reassuring.

What a worrying time @TinyPaws ! Is it likely that your waters will break early now due to the polyhydramnios? Let's hope you can get to at least 32 weeks.

It's so strange how reluctant the NHS can be to take private results @Rubyroost , especially when they actually outsource privately a lot now! I've experienced similar in the past.

Well it seems like you've done everything you possibly would need to do prior baby arrival at least @InDreamland ! So close now 🤞 Maybe just think of a list of different things you might struggle to do once baby is here and have a go at doing them? Just as a way of giving you some steer in limbo?

I am so sorry you've had that total shit lack of support from your friend @fnej01 - it's just acceptable that people speak to others like that, it doesnt help at all!

Completely agree with you @Kayjay2018 certainly worth moving away from people like that. Sorry you've got these very real worries going on too atm, can be hard to manage that anxiety beyond just holding onto hope. Hospital births are okay too, have you been around the hospital birthing unit? I was very surprised how ours looks exactly the same with the same stuff as the birthing centre.

And how are you @twittlebee I'm guessing the contractions have now stopped and your on bed rest again?

@Rubyroost no idea about the carbs in it, all I know is it is yummy. It's odd how NHS won't just accept the private results. Seems like a waste of resources if they feel they have to repeat something already available to them. When I had the Harmony test (privately of course aa NHS doesn't offer it), I mentioned it immediately after having 12 week bloods taken and the lady said had I have mentioned it 10 mins earlier I wouldn't have needed the NHS test as Harmony would've been better anyway, and saved me having more blood taken.

@TinyPaws hope the GTT comes back clear. Can't believe you're almost 30 weeks now! Wow! I'm convinced everyone else's pregnancies have gone by way quicker than mine! I agree about the thread location, I'm sure @KnitKitty will respond soon.

@sadtoday21 definitely time for you to start taking it easy. I'm just glad not to need to be commuting on the tube, London is not pregnancy friendly at rush hour. I was told this morning at my 38 week midwife appointment that it'll be stretch and sweep at 41 weeks but I think I'll ask for it at the 40 week appointment. I am seeing my acupuncturist next week when I'll be 39+1 and she'll do another pre-birth session but I'm going to ask her if she can do something to help labour come along sooner rather than later - don't know if she'll be happy to do it but I can only ask. Good that you have told your midwife you don't want to go beyond 40 weeks, was she happy to help things along with stretch and sweep? Wish there was a way of controlling when labour starts without being induced. Sorry you have a difficult anniversary coming up next week, it's so hard but you're amazingly strong and you will get through it but remember it's okay to feel sad and remember your lost loved ones and have a good cry. Fx for all the results for baby being positive.

@Twittlebee how's the contractions? Hope they've stopped and you have your feet up. There are a few things now that I've found need sorting to keep me occupied. Should keep me going for a couple of days at least between the sleeping. I just need little things to focus my mind on.

Yeah all okay in terms of contractions, all settled down now it seems! Keeping rested. Work is doing my head in though, just struggling with stress there along with pregnancy anxiety and finding I'm on tears most days atm. It's such silly little things too, I know I shouldnt take things so to heart, especially with work, but I do and as I am off my medication my psychosis is getting bad again. I dare not tell anyone IRL though exactly what I'm seeing or hearing though as I dont want to be pressured to go back on them as they're so bad for baby.

Had my anomaly scan and all went really well!

@sadtoday21 Sorry you've got a tough week coming up, hope all the appointments go well.

@Twittlebee So relieved to hear the contractions have stopped and the scan went well! I hope the rest of your pregnancy is as uneventful as possible!

@InDreamland It might have gone quickly for you but it feels like I've been pregnant forever! The last few weeks have gone a bit quicker but the early stages seemed to pass excruciatingly slowly!

My scan today went really well, fluid is down from MPD of 8.8 to an MPD of 8.0cm which is technically normal (anything over 8.0cm is polyhydramnios) and cord blood flow is normal. The only bad thing is that having been nicely head down at the 28 week scan baby has flipped and is now breech. Pretty sure I felt it happen yesterday as baby went absolutely nuts during/after the GTT (still waiting for GTT results but no news is good news so hopefully they'll be normal). I'm back next week for another growth scan.