The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #6 - 🐧 The Penguin Huddle 🐧

[KnitKitty]

This is a safe space and supportive thread for anyone who is pregnant following a loss. We all understand the worry and anxiety that can come from being pregnant again following miscarriage/stillbirth.

Please feel free to join, even if you were not on the original TTC thread.

Starting the roll call copied from the last thread. Not everyone is on there, so please add to it/update/edit.
Also, thought it might be fun if we add Girl/Boy/Surprise on there too, so we can see who's expecting what

@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 32, EDD 29/01/20 - Girl
@UnicornsandRainsbows1, 29, EDD 29/01/2020
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@ChikiTIKI , 29, EDD 04/04/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Catconfusion, 40, EDD 12/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 13/04/20
@TinyPaws, 33, EDD 18/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@Dimblebimble, 29, EDD 29/4/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020
@SunshineCrocodile, 37, EDD 4/6/2020
@TwittleBee , 25, EDD 25/06/20

And a shout-out to the Mamas who have already had their beautiful babas!
@Boboelephant, @Yukka, @Melpops36, @Beaglemum93 and a special mention for our hero mum @Squiff70 who we continue to keep in our thoughts and prayers.

@Mistymeow sorry to hear that, but it doesn't surprise me. Pregnancy discrimination and workplace bullying in general is rife. . My head of dept said I'm having lots of time off with my appts and need to make up the time by taking some of my colleagues workload off them. 😬Like wtaf. Like I want these extra appts?! Work sucks, well be on mat leave soon x

@Mistymeow I'm also at the diabetic clinic tomorrow.

@Mistymeow I'm sorry you're having a hard time at work. I actually pulled my mat leave forward to start last week because of bullying by my director - I flagged it with HR when I brought it forward but I very much get the impression that my company's HR department are there to protect the company rather than to help their employees.

At the end of the day, your health (mental as well as physical) is more important than your job. I was being given unrealistic deadlines on valuations and then expected to complete my appraisal and agree to a load of targets for the year when my mat leave started end of Feb. My director actually said "you can't just pull your mat leave forward, you need to give 28 days notice" to which I replied, either let me bring it forward or I will get signed off. I think mag leave kicks in automatically if you're off sick after 36 weeks anyway but middle aged middle management really are arseholes. Look after yourself xx

@frillyfarmer sorry to hear you're having troubles too. Seems that work life is getting worse in terms of bullying etc.
It wasn't alway like this, in my occupation at least. That's what our hr dept is like too and it actually leads to heads of dept and hr being able to bully staff out if their jobs.

So I've gone to diabetes clinic and they've put me on metaformin straight away. I'm also to watch my diet obviously. Dr said that he's surprised I wasn't tested sooner when I requested (over and over again) it and as its so late on he doesn't want me to mess about waiting to see what my body reacts to and what it doesn't react to. Least I can get my blood sugar sorted straight away as I've been panicking all weekend.
How did your clinic go @Mistymeow

So doctor says he doesn't want to mess around and wait to see if I can control it with diet being as I'm so far on and apparently already have a massive baby! So I'm on metaformin already, well I would be if they had had some at the hospital pharmacy. Hopefully they'll have some in tomorrow. 🙄
Meanwhile I saw the consultant who said that I had ketones in my urine but apparently it was because I was dehydrated and nothing to do with diabetes.

Looked it up and turns out that it's from eating a low carb diet. Body needs energy so it turns to fat reserves apparently. I can't get it right if I eat carbs my blood sugar level rockets and if I don't I get ketones! As soon as I have the meds hopefully it will all stabilise and I'll be able to eat enough healthy carbs without raising the blood sugar level too much. 🤞

Just realised I totally repeated myself there apart from the ketones. Sorry ladies.

@rubyroost yes they are doing the same for me, straight on metformin. She said that my diet is good so clearly it’s not working and I need the medication to help me. She was a bit brusque at first and I got upset but it was more because she felt I should have been referred sooner. I suppose it can only be a good thing that I’m going to be consultant led now and get extra care, but like many of the women on this thread I have a fear of losing baby. I’m seeing the consultant tomorrow morning to get the medication then I will have a scan next week. How are you feeling about it? I don’t know anything about ketones, is that the glucose in the urine?

Hope everyone else is doing well x

@Mistymeow sorry you're upset and going through this too. I'm okay, I think I'm relieved I'll be on the meds and hoping I can get the blood sugar under control. Obviously I have the same concerns as you, but there's not much we can do is there. I've been reading quite a bit and I think quite a lot off women need meds. I think the only way of controlling it is very little carbs or meds. Ive been googling and there's some diabetes experts in USA who say that the amount of carbs that is suggested to women with gestational diabetes is ridiculous and its no wonder they can't get it under control. From what I've read ketones are produced when your body has to burn body fat for energy as not getting enough carbs which would make sense to me. Also you get them when your blood sugar is out of control.

@Mistymeow still no glucose in urine for the whole pregnancy so fat lot of good that test is! How many weeks are you and how often are you having scans?

Oh and @mistymeow the doctor was so busy today. He was there for hours and pregnant women were in and out his clinic so there's a lot of women in the same boat as us. It seems to be quite common. I think the fact your baby was measuring fine the last time is positive too. X
My doctor was lovely, he could see I was stressed and at the end he said don't stress, it'll be okay

Sorry ladies, not even looked at this thread for ages until now. Rather alarmed by @Twittlebee 's posts and really, really hoping her and baby are okay.

@Squiff70 how are you and Ava doing? Hope everything is ok. Also thinking of @Twittlebee

@Rubyroost meant to say sorry you also have a difficult workplace. Ridiculous behaviour, they are opening themselves up to prosecution. I’m 31 weeks today and I’m also relieved in a way that they are giving me medication. It was picked up because I had ++ a few times in my urine so it’s good they caught it. Just was a bit alarmed having it all spelled out to me even though I knew it all. Apparently I’ll have a scan at 32 and 34 weeks then they will see. You are 33 weeks?

@Mistymeow I am sorry you are experiencing that, unfortunately not surprised though as it is so common place - not that it makes it okay or any easier to deal with.

and yup you are right @frillyfarmer you certainly could just get signed off sick anyway at that point! What is it with the attitude of some!

@Rubyroost thank goodness you are finally able to get that sorted, what a worrying time though prior and GD just confuses me so much!

I am doing okay, we went over to MILs with me driving and that totally kicked off the contractions again so clearly I cannot drive, I really am very much on rest and only at 19+4 too. I feel pretty trapped here at home. Working from home is possible for me at least. I had a freak out when I thought my waters had broke, thankfully I had just spilt my coffee on me without realising but that slow seeping and warming feeling really unnerved me and had me in tears even after I realised it was only coffee.

@twittlebee oh god that's so bloody scary. Yes, rest. Seems like you can't do much at all, that must be so hard. But hopefully it'll be worth it and it will pay off. I hope little twittlebee hangs in there, she's done a good job so far. Sorry can't remember if he or she.
Feel bad for all the moaning about gestational diabetes when you are going through so much worse. X

Yes @Mistymeow I'm 33 weeks, they're still scanning me every 4, not every 2- next nhs scan will be 36 weeks. Perhaps it's because I haven't got polyhydriamnos yet. I've got a private scan to do which I'm nervous about. But wanted to get checked by someone in the know. x

@Squiff70 oops sorry, didn't see you there. How's little Ava doing at the moment? I'm guessing no news is good news?

oh dont feel bad at all @Rubyroost about moaning about GD - that has plenty of its own issues too and seems pretty complicated, at least I know I just have to rest. Got weekly scans to check cervix now too. Next one on Thursday

@twittlebee I have everything crossed for you and little Twittle and am praying the contractions stop.

Ava continues to make progress. She's off the ventilator now and just on CPAP so doing all the breathing for herself but the CPAP just keeps her airways open.

She's also on tube feeds of milk (4mls every 2 hours) and tolerating it well. She's off the morphine and some of her supplements now too. She's 1.57kg now and growing nicely.

The downside is she has to have more surgery in a few weeks to reconnect her bowel. It'll set her back initially but we're just praying it works so she can digest milk and take all the nutrients she needs.

Have a baby pic!

Aaaaw what a little trooper, great news that she's off the ventilator.

So I now officially have polydriamnos, 31cm. Consuktant hs told me to go back to hospital, she recommends baby is taken out at 38 weeks, rather than 39 and that I am scanned every two weeks and shouldn't wait until 36 weeks. They'll listen to her as if there are issues that's where I'd get sent.

She basically said the biggest risk is me going into early labour because there's only so much that my uterus can take. In the positive,, she says it still feels nice and soft. I'm absolutely massive.

Great photo @Squiff70 and I hope the bowel surgery goes smoothly! Thinking of you both Xxx.

Really sorry to hear that @Rubyroost, but it's good that you will have more monitoring and care now. When is your next scan? I'm 35 weeks this Thursday and mine is next week - hoping that baby boy has grown since the 34 week scan (even two weeks between scans feels like such a long time to wait!).

I am not a member of this group but in the past I might have been. Just want to send you all love and positivity - I remember the terror. x

Well if they listen to the private consuktant recommendations it will be in two weeks

@squiff70 can't believe how much she has grown. Great she is off the ventilator, but sorry there's more surgery. What a warrior your beautiful daughter is x

@Rubyroost sorry to hear what a tough time you are having but glad you've got treatment for GD. Sorry to hear about the poly diagnosis. I think two weekly scans and delivery at 37/38 is normal when high risk. It's the protocol they've put me on.

@mistymeow hope all is going ok on the metformin

@twittlebee please take care of yourself

@sadtoday how are you?

@indreamland how's the mat leave? X

Sorry @fnej01 remind me why you're high risk. I've read you had a higher abdominal measurement but no gd as yet anyway.

Thing is its not the protocol the hospital has been following and it's taken a private consuktant scan for me to now go back to the hospital with her recommendations. High risk pregnancies are referred to her in my are (she also works for the NHS) so no doubt they'll take heed if her advice. She said she'll also scan me at the nhs hospital she works at if they refuse a scan in two weeks, I just need to get in touch with her. How good is that? I guess she feels she has a duty of care as a consuktant in fetal medicine

Hi ladies. Sorry I've been absent for a few days it's been busy and I've been exhausted so between lots to do and then sleeping loads when not doing lots I've not been keeping up very well on here.

Just needing a distraction and hand hold whilst waiting for DH to get sorted and drive me up to hospital for monitoring Bubsy for reduced/changed movements. Really worried .....again. think all the anxiety nightmares the past 4 nights haven't helped.

@Bluebelltulip thanks yes I'm feeling more prepared but scared right now.

@Rubyroost thanks for posting about the monitors. If Bubsy is okay I'll have a read tomorrow. Sorry to read about the GD and polydriamos, you're in good hands now and hopefully it'll all be under control very quickly and baby will be absolutely fine.

@sadtoday21 thank you. Here's the link for the TENS machine rental www.bootsmaternityrentalproducts.co.uk/product.php?pid=Hire-Boots-Maternity-Rental-Unit--1 I'm yet to read the instructions on it.

@Twittlebee scary stuff and sorry to read your latest updates. Please please please rest and don't do anything! You and baby twittle are the most important people at the moment so put your feet up and rest.

@Squiff70 awww she's gorgeous. Glad she's been making progress. Hope the surgery goes well and she continues to get stronger and stronger so you can bring her home as soon as possible.

@fnej01 thanks for asking, am just anxious right now and tired. How are you doing?

Goodness pregnancy really is stressful and anxiety inducing, all the worse after loss. I can't take much more of this.

To top it off my closest friend is avoiding me because I'm pregnant and she is suffering from infertility and can't cope. I feel terrible for making her feel the way I have been feeling since starting TTC, my infertility and 2 miscarriages.

Wish DH would hurry up.