The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #6 - 🐧 The Penguin Huddle 🐧

[KnitKitty]

This is a safe space and supportive thread for anyone who is pregnant following a loss. We all understand the worry and anxiety that can come from being pregnant again following miscarriage/stillbirth.

Please feel free to join, even if you were not on the original TTC thread.

Starting the roll call copied from the last thread. Not everyone is on there, so please add to it/update/edit.
Also, thought it might be fun if we add Girl/Boy/Surprise on there too, so we can see who's expecting what

@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 32, EDD 29/01/20 - Girl
@UnicornsandRainsbows1, 29, EDD 29/01/2020
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@ChikiTIKI , 29, EDD 04/04/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Catconfusion, 40, EDD 12/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 13/04/20
@TinyPaws, 33, EDD 18/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@Dimblebimble, 29, EDD 29/4/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020
@SunshineCrocodile, 37, EDD 4/6/2020
@TwittleBee , 25, EDD 25/06/20

And a shout-out to the Mamas who have already had their beautiful babas!
@Boboelephant, @Yukka, @Melpops36, @Beaglemum93 and a special mention for our hero mum @Squiff70 who we continue to keep in our thoughts and prayers.

My only tip @Navy123 is to make sure you have a good sling so you can be hands free. It's a must with a toddler/older child!

@lozzak87 beautiful photo.

Very much feeling everyone's comments here on the growth scan - I think mine have added no end of stress. I am thinking of you all! Xx

@Twittlebee I'm so sorry to hear your latest update. I hope the little one hangs in there and your contractions stop. I can't even imagine, you've gone through so much this pregnancy, you're a brave lady. Sending my thoughts to you today x

Oh gosh @Lozzak87 that must be so hard not to be near your little one. She looks so peaceful and gorgeous, awwww. Hopefully she'll continue to go from strength to strength. X

@twittlebee so sorry missed your update. Got everything crossed that they have managed to stop your contractions and your stitch is firmly in place x

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue yes I have a close caboo which I loved with DS and have dug out of storage already!

Anyone else's baby keep getting hiccups? I know it's normal but he started getting them 2 days ago and seems to have them throughout the day - my son used to get them but nowhere near this much. Is there a level which is too much?

@Navy123 oh the dreaded hiccups. My boy used to hiccup for over an hour at the time, I was so anxious. Googled it didn't I and there was something about cord getting wrapped around neck and if baby hiccups past 32 weeks for more than ten mins to see Dr. Turned out it was bullshit. I even went for a scan to check the blood flow through cord!! Midwife said I'd just have a hiccupy baby, guess what I did! This one has hiccuped a bit and now not hiccuping so now I'm wondering why no hiccups. 😂 What a div I am. But yeah totally normal, well it was for me anyhow. Mine used to have well over 10 episodes a day.

@Lozzak87 I hope you can spend as much time by her side as possible. Always so grateful we were given a parent room to stay during DS2's NICU stay.

Oh not sure actually @Navy123 ! DS1 was a very hiccupy baby though. I never bloomin knew what it was for ages too haha, wasnt until I was on a monitor and a MW mentioned what it was!

So want to give an update but I havent a clue where to start. I guess I can say baby is okay and I'm home again. But I was mistakenly discharged. Someone said I had to leave and was discharged when I was meant to still be there on bed rest. Had a stern phone call 3 hours later from a MW asking where I had gone! Everything was very confused too, no one knew who was actually looking after me at one point. I felt stupid being there too, I hadn't even been given anything to eat for 20 hours. Anyway, I'm still contracting every 15-20 minutes and still losing bit of bloody mucus here and there. The MW who phoned me said I may as well bed rest at home now but go to head straight in if I worsen and I'm to go in tomorrow morning to see my consultant too. Cervical scan did show only a 0.6cm change and still closed too so they arent sure what is happening. Feel left in the dark. Just hate how they keep referring to this as a threatened miscarriage when to me it feels like labour and my baby is very much alive and well.

Oh god @Twittlebee thats really bad how they mistakenly discharged you. It all sounds very scary indeed. Make sure you do go in if it worsens. Please don't take any risks. I'm crossing everything for you. X

@Navy123
liverpool-womens.custhelp.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/215/~/fetal-hiccups
Found this, the first bit refers to the bullshit I found on the net, it was a well known baby site and supposedly to be trusted. Ah well!

@Twittlebee Sorry to hear your latest updates. Thinking of you and hoping things settle down and baby stays inside as long as possible!

Oh goodness I've missed a fair bit since my last post yesterday.

@Twittlebee so sorry to see your updates, that has got to be so scary! Hope you are getting lots of bed rest and baby Twittle hangs in there. Did you get a stitch or is one not needed? What a mess with your care and discharge. Keeping all fx for you that contractions stop and baby stays put.

@Lozzak87 what a precious photo. She's gorgeous. Hope you get more time with her and she gets stronger and stronger.

Ladies I'm exhausted, been a very busy day so I'll catch up in the morning and update then too.

Haven't had chance to catch up with everyone's posts but just wanted to say @Twittlebee I'm sorry you're having such a shit time and I have everything crossed that babyTwittlebee stays firmly put for the next few weeks.

It's really awful that you were put on post natal and that they are referring to it as a threatened miscarriage, I agree it seems to minimise what you're going through xx

Managed to properly catch-up now on what I missed.

@Rubyroost that must have been awkward, you'd think the staff would be more discreet and not say things that make out you're being spoken about like that. I don't think I'd have been very happy. Hope you enjoyed your day off yesterday and family time.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue thanks for going against the grain. Was just thinking yesterday, my SIL carried up front and has 3 girls - think it just depends on your body and has absolutely nothing to do with the baby. Glad I'm not the only to feel like this in late pregnancy.

@sadtoday21 sorry you're feeling worried. I'm certainly no expert but I read and hear so much about measurements etc. not being accurate. Hopefully everything is okay, what did the sonographer/midwife say? Fx for a good scan in 2 weeks! The nausea is more MS feeling rather than heartburn. I just can't eat my usual amount of food now, some days are better/worse than others, so glad I'm not commuting on the tube anymore. When do you plan to finish work?

@Mistymeow glad you're getting good support and advice for GD from the midwife. Good that baby is measuring fine. Sounds like it was a good move to change hospitals and get better support.

@Navy123 thank you, I am trying to not feel guilty about sleeping in but I hate feeling like I've wasted the day. Everyone is telling me to make the most of it, guess I just need to adjust to being off work. I'm not used to needing/having to switch off - usually constantly on the go and hate not feeling productive. When do you get to pop your feet up? On the hiccups, Bubsy seems to get them almost every day, strange rhythmic feeling which whilst reassuring as I can feel movement with them it's not a comfortable feeling. Sometimes the feeling is so strong DH can really feel them.

Quick update from me.

The TENS machine I have rented from Boots was delivered yesterday. Just need to check it out now and read the instructions before I pack in my hospital bag - should I keep it out though to use in early labour at home before I go into the birthing unit?

SIL popped over yesterday and gave us so much baby stuff! Think we're pretty much set up now with all the things needed for a newborn. Got 2 moses baskets (I've got 2 new mattresses on order for them now), 20 vests! 10 babygrows, baby bath and support, bottle steriliser, tonnes of various baby blankets, 27 muslins ……...….plus others bits and bobs. Bit overwhelming but so grateful as now don't need to buy so much stuff. Also got some 0-3 months vests/babygrows which is fab.

I know I wasn't going to get the pushchair until Bubsy arrived but I got a 10% off code for Mamas and Papas that is only valid for 7 days ……………… so I decided to take the plunge, order it for delivery in 2 weeks and should the worst happen we can return as long as unused. To save £55 DH and I thought it was totally worth it. Really pleased with that saving as it's not a cheap pushchair.

I've already washed and dried all the muslins, moses basket bedding, newborn vests and babygrows. Now got the moses basket hoods/linings and half the blankets in the washing machine. Got the other half of blankets to go in (was no more space in the machine). Is this the whole nesting thing? I just need to feel organised and like things are properly clean - SIL has washed everything but things have been in storage (covered) for a couple of years so just in case I wanted all traces of dust etc. removed. I did say I'm a germophobe.

My parents are picking up the bag I want for the changing bag from duty free for me (saves £15). Just need to buy an actual travel/portable foldable changing mat - I have so many new lightweight makeup/wash bags I can use to organise things in the bag.

Also want to buy a baby monitor - one of those ones that clip onto baby and sound an alarm if any problems with breathing. Any recommendations? Plus got to order the newborn baby cocoon for the pushchair from JL as M&P don't seem to have those.

Definitely feeling more organised now.

Well done @InDreamland ! It's great that you have ordered the pram, also great you got so much from your SIL. We had to return a pram after DD2 and it was really simple and quick. I hope you are feeling more positive and prepared now.

How are you? @Twittlebee

Re those baby monitors that sound alarm. I've heard that there's loads of false alarms and they shit you up something chronic. Personally, I wouldn't bother with them and just follow safe sleep guidelines. In the early days I used to panic all the time and regularly check for breathing.

I'm sure someone else will come along with a different view and say they are great though. I don't know anyone that has bothered to use them though.

Found a couple of articles

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=amp.theatlantic.com/amp/article/506396/&ved=2ahUKEwiwx6_H0avnAhUJRxUIHZNIBCMQFjACegQIBBAB&usg=AOvVaw3B_FEqCyPr6WkWzeHA3JHo&ampcf=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=amp.theatlantic.com/amp/article/506396/&ved=2ahUKEwiwx6_H0avnAhUJRxUIHZNIBCMQFjACegQIBBAB&usg=AOvVaw3B_FEqCyPr6WkWzeHA3JHo&ampcf=1
First one is American, but still trustworthy.

@Twittlebee really hope you are ok and contractions have stopped. Been thinking of you Xxx.

@InDreamland great post, thanks for the update - it's helping me think ahead as I'm just 2 (or maybe 3?) weeks behind you. Can you post a pic of the TENS machine or describe how it works - I really have no idea what this is and/or how helpful it will be. Massive congrats on buying the pram! It sounds like you did the right thing. We've had ours in the closet for weeks now, as long as I don't have to see it I feel fine, like it's not even there. I'm like you, love to be organised and plan ahead but really anxious still! I'm so jealous of all the batch cooking and the SIL bringing all those things over - you sound really all set now! I'm not sure I'm going to go on maternity leave exactly, I'll probably just try to keep up with my dissertation as best I can. I am going to try to slow down with public speaking events/meetings, etc. by 36 weeks and then hopefully take a break around 38 weeks to do some cooking and organising too. How many weeks were you when you started mat leave? I'm also wondering about the monitor for baby, so will be watching with interest what you decide to do. And thanks @Rubyroost for the link!

We don't have any family here, so have had to buy everything new on a student budget. I feel strangely sad that I've reached 34 weeks today and have no one here to plan a baby shower for this baby (our first) or to fuss over him. I know it's irrational, but I want to celebrate him and its hard being on our own here. It's not really about the gifts, just the celebration of our firstborn. Did anyone else feel like this?

Also, is it weird that I'm kind of freaking out about coronavirus? Anyone else?

@Sadtoday21 it's definitely spreading fast and I reckon we have it in the UK even though no confirmed cases. I'd feel a bit silly going to work with a mask on but I am getting to the stage where I quite fancy it! 😂

Evening all! Sorry to leave it quite late to update and also not catching up properly, just saw the email notifications pinging and thought I better let you know the good(ish) news.

So we saw our 'new' Consultant (who delivered Roy) and she does seem lovely (I cant really remember any details of that birth). She said she wants me to stay on rest as it seems like I have an irritable uterus as my cervix isnt shortening dangerously.

She did say, interestingly, that it's common for cervixes to start shortening through the 2nd trimester but it's very slow usually. So she will expect to see mine to continue shortening but if she sees it shorten too quickly then she will suggest a stitch.

I am due to see her again at 22 weeks and she said that is when they actually try to keep babies alive now if they are born. So I need to just focus on this 22 week goal for now, only 3 weeks away.

Haven't had a chance to catch up on all messages just wanted to say @Twittlebee that I had an irritable uterus with my son when I had him 16 years ago. I had contractions at 29 weeks (proper ones but didn't actually do much) that was stopped with medicine - also had steroids. I was back on at 34 weeks with the same which they managed to stop and I then kept him in until 37 + 3. Walking seemed to set it off but also particularly violent kicks and elbows. I'm glad you have someone taking it seriously and giving you advice, I'd never heard of an irritable uterus and you are the only other person I know who has ever been diagnosed with it!

@twittlebee well that's some progress then and I'm assuming the contractions have stopped for now. Fingers crossed then that little one hangs in there. Are you on bed rest as on can't go to work etc?

@Twittlebee Glad things are looking a little better.

Apologies for not replying to everyone - I've been reading along but haven't had time to update.

I think it's my turn for a spell of anxiety. I had a growth scan today at 28+5 which showed polyhydramnios and baby large for gestational age. I have to go for a glucose tolerance test next week and also weekly scans for the next couple of weeks. Really hope nothing is wrong with the baby.

@TinyPaws sorry to hear that, sounds quite similar to me although polydriamnos not been diagnose yet as it's 21 cm and I think they diagnose it at 24. Still really worried about it though as I'm wondering if it'll turn into it at next scan. I had my gtt test and heard nothing back. They said if I don't hear anything in 3 days I don't have gest diabetes and it'll be day 3 tomorrow. I'm gonna ring them though if I don't hear anything by the afternoon as I want to know the results. What if I'm borderline for example?