The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #6 - 🐧 The Penguin Huddle 🐧

[KnitKitty]

This is a safe space and supportive thread for anyone who is pregnant following a loss. We all understand the worry and anxiety that can come from being pregnant again following miscarriage/stillbirth.

Please feel free to join, even if you were not on the original TTC thread.

Starting the roll call copied from the last thread. Not everyone is on there, so please add to it/update/edit.
Also, thought it might be fun if we add Girl/Boy/Surprise on there too, so we can see who's expecting what

@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 32, EDD 29/01/20 - Girl
@UnicornsandRainsbows1, 29, EDD 29/01/2020
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@ChikiTIKI , 29, EDD 04/04/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Catconfusion, 40, EDD 12/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 13/04/20
@TinyPaws, 33, EDD 18/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@Dimblebimble, 29, EDD 29/4/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020
@SunshineCrocodile, 37, EDD 4/6/2020
@TwittleBee , 25, EDD 25/06/20

And a shout-out to the Mamas who have already had their beautiful babas!
@Boboelephant, @Yukka, @Melpops36, @Beaglemum93 and a special mention for our hero mum @Squiff70 who we continue to keep in our thoughts and prayers.

@Bluebelltulip thank you. Mixed emotions but I have survived the day. Hope you're okay, sending you a massive virtual hug.

@Rubyroost even if you're low risk surely if there is a sign you can still be tested? Keep pushing, especially when you're anxious. Yes, I am attempting to remain as active as my body allows me to, I do take it very easy in the classes. Managed a walk up to the high street yesterday afternoon and really felt it afterwards, maybe a little too ambitious but I tried to walk fast uphill and maybe I just need to go slower. Are pregnant ladies allowed to park in parent baby spaces? Don't think disabled bays are allowed without a blue badge though. Parent baby spaces would be great as getting in and out of the car in tight spots where you can't fully open the door is now incredibly challenging.

@sadtoday21 thank you for being so understanding and sharing you are similar about buying stuff. Makes me feel more normal. Even on my last day at work with everyone getting excited about seeing baby photos etc. all I could think was thanks but I hope nothing goes wrong between now and the birth and I actually have a take home healthy baby. They don't get that I'm still anxious even though they know what I've been through the past 6.5 years. I have thought about getting the premade bottles of formula, I mentioned it at my 34 week midwife appointment but she told me not to ......usual BFing advice even though I said I was worried about not being able to for whatever reason and if in middle of the night we had an emergency backup plan (our local supermarket isn't 24 hours). I'm still tempted to buy a box - those starter kits with the sterilised teats are only £6. Some people have said get it and others said not to ..........as always there's 2 camps. I don't want to use them but I like to have a safety net. So like you unsure what to do.

@Mistymeow thank you. Hope Monday's appointment goes well when you speak to your midwife about your worries. Hope the scan shows that everything is perfect.

@fnej01 thank you too. Glad the scan showed all is well. Such a relief for you I'm sure but please stop Googling (must take my own advice).

Had my 36 week midwife appointment this morning. She's happy with everything. I'm worried bump is looking small (comments made by other people and I do think it's not massive compared to others at same stage). Bump measurement was 38cms (am 36+4) so midwife is happy and apparently Bubsy is now 3/5 engaged whatever that means ........all I know is Bubsy has dropped into the pelvis which apparently explains the uncomfortable feeling now when walking etc. Midwife said that could be why I think bump looks small. I just have to trust her. Ordered a TENS machine hire today so should be delivered next week.

@Indreamland I think I’m going to buy the ready made Aptamil pack from Tesco. It’s presterilised and comes with teats so no need to buy bottles just yet. I’ll just put one in my hospital bag and leave the rest at home. More worried about feeding my baby in a pinch than anything else - I’ve never bf before so it’s hard to imagine how it works! Congrats on your 36 week appointment, following with interest as I’m just three weeks behind you. You must be feeling tired at 36 weeks - just one month left to go! Have you done a birth plan yet and is your bag done? I think you said it was - did you happen to buy that bits spray people talk about or unnecessary?

@Rubyroost I’m jealous if your scans tbh I get more anxious without having them! But I understand it must be worrying with the larger growth. I think growth scans are very inaccurate anyway. I do have a routine one on the nhs at 36 weeks, which is only 3 weeks away now. I think you are right they won’t give me one sooner.

Bought a changing bag today for the pram and I really love it! It’s going to double as my hospital bag, so now I’m really thinking about what to put in it. Anyone have ideas or a good list? What is essential and what is just nice to have?

Has anyone had time off work with piles. I've had one pop out over the weekend. This one is particularly killing me

@sadtoday21 I think I will buy the Cow and Gate equivalent starter pack from Ocado, will just pop in my next order. Although just said to DH might wait for his sis to drop stuff off on Wednesday as she mentioned a steriliser and if we have that I might just buy the small ready made cartons as they're cheaper. We have 2 bottles already, they were free sample Mam bottles from John Lewis when we went for our nursery list consultation. Can just sterilise those and use them instead. I feel similar to you - never BF before, no idea what to expect and don't want my baby to go hungry so I'd feel better knowing I have something as an emergency supply if needed. Birth plan is done and printed out and popped in with my pregnancy notes. I'm almost there with the packing hospital bag now, yay! Just waiting for TENS machine to be delivered and my going home outfit to go in with a washed nursing bra and I'm done I think. Oh, and scratch mitts and blanket for Bubsy (again just waiting for SIL to drop baby stuff off). Fab you've bought the changing bag. Which one did you buy? I've not bought one yet. Think you'll need: travel/foldable changing mat (I've bought a packet of Pampers disposable changing mats for now), bottle holder if you intend to bottle feed but not necessary for now if planning on BF, then just fill it up with nappy cream, few nappies, baby wipes, cotton wool/pads, change of clothes for baby, pack of antibacterial wipes for your hands and antibacterial/Dettol wipes to wipe down surfaces in public places before you change baby. Although I'm sure those who already have a LO will put me right and give you a better list. Or do you mean list for hospital bag?

@Rubyroost sorry, not had piles, only had a day off for bad nausea in first trimester. If you're feeling like you can't work though just take the day off, they can't hold it against you if pregnancy related anyway.

Just quick one to say @Rubyroost get yourself these:

www.amazon.co.uk/Anusol-Soothing-Relief-Suppositories-Pack/dp/B00N66WXQE/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?keywords=Anusol&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1580066170&sr=8-4

I really suffer with piles in pregnancy, had them so so so bad last week but one day of using those and it went right down!

@Indreamland yes, I meant list for the hospital bag (I'm going to use the changing bag as my hospital bag and a duffle bag for baby). I was wondering whether I need to buy nipple cream, bits spray, and diaper cream for the hospital bag or whether its unnecessary? I've got some wipes and nappies. Is a TENS machine necessary - do they not have these at the hospital?

My changing bag is fantastic - its momore, black with gold accents. Looks like a chic work bag but with insulated bottle holders, laptop compartment, breast pump compartment, pram straps, changing mat, lots of storage, and water proof. Very pleased with it. I also bought a black nightie for labour and it seems stretchy enough that baby could go right inside for skin to skin after. Bought the k'tan wrap carrier as well as I saw it at a ridiculously low price online - it strikes me that those skin to skin shirts are probably overpriced when you can just strap the carrier on naked and then add a large shirt over it. Carrier seems better because you can actually stand up with it on too, not just lounge on the couch hands free. So anyway, that's as much as I can buy for now! Trying to force myself to do a little bit at a time.

Sorry you are suffering @Rubyroost that sounds terrible! I'm sure you could get signed off for a few days.

@Twittlebee I'm creaming them up at the moment, but I might double up and get the suppositories too tomorrow. I've had them on and off all pregnancy but Peter the new guy is a particularly uncomfortable, swollen hard one. I'm wondering if it's thrombosed.

@sadtoday21 I followed a list last time and my hospital bag was full of lotions and potions, fancy toiletries for me and it was such a colossal waste of space.
This is my bag this time -
Pants x 8 (really.)
Soft nursing bra x 2
Nightie x 2
Leggings x 1
Vest top x 2
Going home outfit
Jumper
Flip flops
Shampoo
Conditioner
Large dark coloured bath towel
Water bottle
Lip balm
Palmers body lotion
Reusable breast pads
Maternity pads

Baby-
Nappies
Baby grow x 3
Short sleeved vest x 3
Long sleeve vest x 3
Outfit
Blanket
Car seat

This is really useful @frillyfarmer thank you!! You have put a lot more clothes on there for yourself than I had (I just had nightie and sweats for going home in), so good to know that I may need some more pants....I'm guessing black pants because of bleeding?

I wouldn't worry too much as I assume your partner will be going home so if you're longer in hospital than you think. He can get more stuff. I had long induction and then baby wouldn't latch I was in hospital for five nights in total and just got him to get the extra stuff I needed.

The midwives will tell you you don't need nappy cream, but I will be using it this time as my baby got contact nappy rash straight away and it was pretty bad. Bepanthen is quite a nice gentle one.

I'll be taking my pump and no formula so if baby doesn't latch I can pump some colostrum. Lanolin is deffo a good idea too. In terms of sterilising, the hospital will be able to provide you with something if you do need to sterilise.

@Indreamland I had a foldable portable change mat which I would put on top of the nappy changers in toilets. If you use the anti bacterial wipes they're full of nasty chemicals, so unless you have a clothe to the wipe it off with water it might not be good for newborn skin.

I also bought some terry towels for puke and for patting baby's bum dry. I still pat his bum dry with them as I don't like putting nappy on wet skin from the wipes. You can also put these on the changers.

Thanks @frillyfarmer hospital list is very helpful x

@sadtoday21 I'm consultant led and still high risk from previous birth so I've packed assuming I'll be in a few days. My last was also a summer birth so I've packed a couple of extra layers just in case it's cool on the labour ward - in the summer it was melting in there!

I just bought a job lot of big black Tesco pants and they did me for the first few weeks PP bleeding as well - probably my best investment. 👌🏼

I have massively fallen off this thread - was on it in the early weeks and now I’m 29 weeks. Really struggled with my mental health throughout this pregnancy so I’m trying to reach out to people and stop shutting myself out from everyone! This thread was a great source of support for me at the beginning and I’ve been following along even though I’ve stopped posting.

Pregnancy seems to be going along ok, although I’m still struggling to trust that everything will work out. Found out it’s a little boy at the 20 week scan too. He’s a strong kicker anyway! Taken the big step this weekend of starting to paint the nursery, which I’m really worried will jinx things! But we need a new carpet in there ASAP so it seemed sensible to get it done - plus it can always revert back to being DS1s playroom!

Really glad to see so many people still posting in here and some gorgeous new arrivals. I’m hoping I can keep up better now!

Oops sorry @sadtoday21 here's photos of the list my NHS trust antenatal class gave me to pack for my hospital bag. Hope you can read what's on the list from the photos. Your changing bag sounds ace! I've decided to buy the bits I think I'll need to go inside a changing bag like travel/foldable changing mat etc ..... and then just buy a new Longchamp le pliage bag as they're so lightweight and wipeable etc. and after a changing bag is no longer needed I can just use it as a normal bag. Yes, I've packed nipple cream, instead of bits spray got femfresh wipes as that's what @KnitKitty suggested, also my hospital don't supply TENS machines and others I work with say the same about where they had their babies. I have packed Tena lady disposable pants instead so they can be chucked as worried about bleeding.

@Rubyroost goodness they sound so painful/uncomfortable. Yep, sorry I meant I want to wipe down any surface before I put my own changing mat down for baby to lie on. Definitely won't have baby's skin touching the disinfected surface but also don't want my changing mat underside touching germs from someone else which when folded then transfers to inside my bag (I'm a germophobe). I actually carry antibacterial Dettol wipes around in my work rucksack and wipe desks down before I use them! Good shout on terry towels and drying bottom before putting nappy on.

@frillyfarmer midwives at my hospital say they always keep labour ward, postnatal ward and birthing unit really warm because babies find it hard to regulate body temperature and keep warm - I've been a couple of times there and ours certainly is like a sauna!

@Navy123 lovely to see you back here! Sorry you've been suffering with your mental health, it's so totally understandable and normal after what you've been through. Definitely post here for anything so we can try to support you. Lovely to hear also that pregnancy is progressing well and you're expecting a little boy. 29 weeks is fantastic and great he is a kicker!

@InDreamland I love that idea. I normally clean my portable mat once home. But good idea to use the antbac wipes before putting the mat down. 👍 I don't like germs either, but deffo sounds like you're more of germophobe than me. We don't go to softplay, there's many reasons but germs are one of them and if we go anywhere else to play we always thoroughly wash hands etc before we leave. I also don't touch handles on doors in hospitals etc. 😂
Second the maternity units are like a sauna, far too hot in my opinion, and I had my last baby in the depths of winter.

Hi ladies
I'm so sorry I've been very quiet over the past few weeks/months but I have been following everyones story on here.

Massive congratulations to all the new mummies and bubbas.

So what's been going on with me, after working all Christmas (had three lovely days on the ward, and hopefully made some kiddies Christmas a bit better), I went for my 25 week midwife check up the following week and ended up being admitted to hospital with high blood pressure and being started on meds... (I wish that was the end of the story...) had a nice week at home growth scan was really positive then during another midwife appointment I ended up at the hospital being admitted as my blood pressure was still high and then I had that lovely protein in my wee (4+ of the bugger) so it was confirmed I had pre eclampsia. No worries... I was started on more meds and blood thinning injections (which I was absolutely bossing at doing myself) and told to go to clinic two days post discharge where once again I ended up admitted for a third time in as many weeks, this was Tuesday. They were so worried about me I was admitted to the delivery unit under 1 to 1 care, throughout the night despite being started on some of the most horrible meds my blood pressure was unable to be controlled so at 9:30 on weds 22 January it was decided to proceed with an emergency c-section. Obviously not the birth I had wanted or planned but to be honest I felt so awful by this point I was happy with whatever the doctors and midwives had decided needed to be done not only for my daughters safe arrival but for my own health.

At 11:08 22/1/2020 our daughter was born she was 28 +3 weeks and weighed exactly 1kg, she is currently in NICU doing phenomenally well. I wanted to share this post with you all because the medical team have been fantastic the whole way through, and I suppose after my miscarriage I would never have imagine that I would be in this position a few months later.
I know it's early days and we still have a long road ahead of us in NICU but I'm feeling a lot more positive today, because even though my body completely let me down and couldn't carry her to term I'm now being as pro active as I can and visiting the NICU as much as possible now I'm well and helping give her feeds and changing her nappies.

So sorry for the selfish post and just generally being rubbish at keeping caught up with everyone. I'm thinking of you all sending you all positive vibes and lots of love. I will post a picture of our little girl in a few days time, who we've decided to name Rose. And I just want to say, don't worry about hospital bags and baby bits, I am the most unprepared person ever but we managed with the bare minimal, at the end of the day there has been no shortage of people willing to bring stuff in for us.

Lots of love and hugs xxxxx

Good morning everyone, back at my laptop so can have a proper catch up now.

@Rubyroost hope you are more comfy today?

And I totally second Bepanthen ! My MIL recommended it to us and it worked wonders the few times DS got bad nappy rash (usually just when he had a bad tummy)

Regarding what to pack for labour bags, I really do recommend keeping an extra bag of clothes either in your boot or at home easy for someone to grab. Post birth with DS, DH didnt want to leave my side with how badly ill I was with sepsis so it was up to my mum to bring us both extra clothes etc (I dread to think what she found!). Likewise when DS2 was born, neither of us wanted to leave DS2's side to go grab more clothes (especially as it was a 4 hour round trip).

Welcomes back @Navy123 to the thread - I am sorry you have been having MH issues. We are all here, as you know, anytime

Oh @Lozzak87 congratulations and massive hand holding. Your little one was born only one day prior my little guy. Really am hoping for a smooth and successful NICU journey.

@InDreamland how are you getting on? I love my Tens machine, its great for non-pregnancy and related back aches too!

So 18+3 today. 2nd cervical length scan on thursday. Been horribly crampy - like the sort of cramps you get in early labour and so I am trying to not freak out. I dont know whether to text the MW or not as I am sure she will be like "you are coming in on Thursday so we will see how things are then"

Hi all

Just a quick one before my little man wakes...

Couple of things following the hospital bags convo...

In my experience you don't need lots of maternity pads-my hospital supplied them.

Take snacks! Hospital food is pretty dire!

Nipple cream if BF is a must!

In terms of baby-take short sleeved vests and sleepsuits with integral feet and scratch mits that fasten up the front with poppers. We've been given so many cute outfits but they are an absolute ball ache to put him in especially if you get poonami!

Also-don't trust the sizing! Newborn can be like four different sizes! We found Tesco and Aldi newborn fitted our boy fine when he first arrived (7lb 10oz) but the boots newborn was huge! So beware and take a selection of sizes that you've measured by eye!

Ah-nappy change time!

For each person, maybe ask about the pad situation as neither hospital I stayed in had any spare for me when I ran out (EMCS meant I wasnt quite prepared!)

@Lozzak87 congrats on the birth of your little girl and I hope she goes from strength to strength.
@Twittlebee good luck for your scan, I'm much more comfortable today, thanks.

But I have new worries. Now baby is completely off the charts at 32 weeks and has apparently grown 3lb in 4 weeks (according to the scan which I hope is wrong). Now over 6lb - estimated. I think I'm measuring more like 37 weeks, apart from legs which are average apparently. So finally I'm allowed a gest diabetes test and in a way I hope it's that as at least it gives me some answers. My amniotic fluid has gone from 50th percentile to 99th percentile so now I'm also worrying about that. Consultant didn't even mention that to me, just noticed when I took my booklet away. I've looked up polyhydriamnos and it can be linked to fetal abnormalities so I'm worrying about that again. Tho Ive not been diagnosed with that.. Yet!
So test tomorrow and I've booked in for an extra scan with a specialist consultant privately next week as I'm just so bloody anxious now. Fetal growth has accelerated massively over that last month and it's making me worry. 😭

@Rubyroost oh lovely, so sorry you have all this stress. Last thing you need. Hopefully there is a clear explanation with GD and something that can be controlled and treated. I've no idea about amniotic % as not had any tests since 20 week scan and then GTT just before 28 weeks. Sending lots of positive vibes and fx all will be okay with the tests. Yep, I am rather OCD, carry antibacterial around with me everywhere. I hate the idea of putting my changing mat down on a filthy surface then folding it up, popping it in my bag and those germs transferring to inside my bag and everything else in it ......gross!

@Lozzak87 congratulations on the birth of Rose! Beautiful name. Hope she gets stronger every day! Sending you lots of love, hugs and strength!

@Twittlebee good tip, I'll probably throw a spare change of clothes in a bag closer to the time .......I have very few maternity clothes as have tried to get by on a very limited selection plus in 2nd trimester was scared to buy too much. Sorry you're having cramping again, it's so scary, please call your midwife, best to call and get checked out sooner rather than later in case you need medical help. I'm okay thanks. Just tired and trying to get more organised, doing a little at a time.

@Laney79 "poonami" 🤣🤣🤣

Today I laid in until 1pm! Had a bad night sleep, uncomfortable and kicking baby. Then spent the afternoon very slowly making a batch cook of ragu/bolognese sauce for the freezer (I use pork mince as hate beef) - got 4 meals for DH and I which will be handy for after the birth as all we need to do is defrost and boil up pasta. Also emptied all the bread ends from the freezer and made a massive load of croutons. My plan tomorrow is to make a load of pies (shepherd's/cottage style also with pork mince) for the freezer, again for after the birth, then combined we should have 8 -10 homemade ready meals for when we get home after the birth. Supplemented with some pizzas and the odd takeaway (love my weekly Indian takeaway/restaurant meal and fish and chips) we should be good for a couple of weeks dinners. Can't believe I'm 36+6 today ..........looking forward to hitting the magic 37 weeks tomorrow and can say I'm full term.

I think hospital bags are just hit and miss - you could speak to 100 people who had just given birth and their essentials would all be different 😂 our maternity ward didn't supply anything and I needed a lot of pads so I've packed accordingly this time. I suppose creams and lotions and potions completely depend on you/baby as well. I BF for 16 months and I never needed nipple cream, but my toddler did prop up metanium sales in the UK for the first six months of his life 😂🙄
@TwittleBee I had an "emergency" bag in the car last time and will definitely have one again. Left to my DH I'm sure he would pack skinny jeans and a wonder bra 😬

Thanks @InDreamland and @Twittlebee

I've started my hospital bag list too, so hard to remember from last time what was useful and what wasn't. I do know I'm leaving my massive fluffy dressing gown behind though, definitely unnecessary on a steamy hot ward!! We did have a second bag in the car like others have suggested with extra clothes etc in case of a longer stay.

Congratulations @Lozzak87

@InDreamland we've been starting to fill the freezer with home cooked meals too (it was looking empty post-Christmas!). Last time we had 46 meals in there, went a little overboard!

@rubyroost really sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. Glad they have booked you for GTT, and hope you get some reassurance soon.
Following my baby's tummy measuring big on growth scan last week I have bought myself a little blood glucose monitor from amazon for £20, and my glucose levels are all measuring fine - so clearly baby is just chubbing out around the middle. In fairness my consultant wasn't worried but once he had sowed the seed I was...

@Lozzak87 congratulations on the arrival of Rose. Beautiful name. Hope you are all continuing to do well. Sorry to hear you have been so unwell.

@indreamland well done on the batch cooking and the lay in. Sounds like you are settling into mat leave nicely.

X