The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #6 - 🐧 The Penguin Huddle 🐧

[KnitKitty]

This is a safe space and supportive thread for anyone who is pregnant following a loss. We all understand the worry and anxiety that can come from being pregnant again following miscarriage/stillbirth.

Please feel free to join, even if you were not on the original TTC thread.

Starting the roll call copied from the last thread. Not everyone is on there, so please add to it/update/edit.
Also, thought it might be fun if we add Girl/Boy/Surprise on there too, so we can see who's expecting what

@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 32, EDD 29/01/20 - Girl
@UnicornsandRainsbows1, 29, EDD 29/01/2020
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@ChikiTIKI , 29, EDD 04/04/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Catconfusion, 40, EDD 12/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 13/04/20
@TinyPaws, 33, EDD 18/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@Dimblebimble, 29, EDD 29/4/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020
@SunshineCrocodile, 37, EDD 4/6/2020
@TwittleBee , 25, EDD 25/06/20

And a shout-out to the Mamas who have already had their beautiful babas!
@Boboelephant, @Yukka, @Melpops36, @Beaglemum93 and a special mention for our hero mum @Squiff70 who we continue to keep in our thoughts and prayers.

@InDreamland Bugaboo is a good choice, I was going to go with that one but because we are getting a free bassinet for the uppababy we went with the uppababy cruz- that had a 3 week wait to get it from the suppliers. If you can get bugaboo with click and collect you may as well do that if it makes you nervous having it before the birth- do what feels best for you. I’m keen on the ergobaby omni 360. My friend raves about it- can be used several different ways, from birth and is long lasting. It’s not cheap but looks like you can get a lot of use out of it www.johnlewis.com/ergobaby-omni-360-baby-carrier/p3909092

boutique.love-radius.com/en/physiocarrier-46?_ga=2.70035988.546940828.1579459114-1443760145.1579459106#

I really like this one and we can use it until toddler is 3. We used it a bit on holiday when going for clifftop walks in Cornwall etc , toddler now goes on the back though.

Hi everyone,

Thank you for asking after me.

A pulmonary embolism was confirmed. I'm now on Clexane injections twice a day for 3 months. I was given the injections rather than oral treatment so I can continue breastfeeding which is great, but having to inject so much is not great... I'm already looking really bruised.

I'm absolutely exhausted after a very difficult week but glad to be recovering now.

I am reading other people's posts but don't have time to reply to you all, sorry. Sending you all positivity and hugs. xx

ah yes @KnitKitty you get those after a section, I had to do that for 10 weeks after my EMCS. The trick is to pinch and pull your skin upwards where you are inserting the injection and hold couple seconds afterwards. They do bloomin hurt though sometimes dont they!

@Squiff70 sorry to read its been a tough week for Ava. How are you holding up? She is getting closer to that magical 34 weeks now, bet it feels ages away for you still though.

@InDreamland so relieved they couldnt see any placenta concerns! I dont know exactly how to avoid flathead but basically our DS was only one his back when he slept and very occasionally when was awake. He mostly lived on his front, on someone or in his carrier. He actually preferred belly time and by 3.5 months old (3 month aged adjusted) he could lift himself up strong enough to roll. By 4 months he was sleeping on his front by choice as he would roll over onto his front! So that worried us but we just kept his cot completely clear of everything. So basically he wasnt on his back for long at all. He could sit up at 5 months so again, he just was upright most of the time.

I've been cramping and lost (another?) bloody show. I am desperate for this 2nd cervical scan to roll around (9 days to go) as I am sure something is happening with it.

@Mistymeow sounds like you got a good offer/deal with your pram if you got a free bassinet - is that a carrycot? With the Bugaboo we won't be going for the carrycot but will get the infant baby cocoon which is half the price, lighter and not so bulky so suits us way better. Thanks for sharing the link to the carrier. I'll definitely be trying them out when I have Bubsy home safe and sound - we can go on our first shopping trip together hopefully before DH goes back to work after paternity.

@Rubyroost thanks for sharing that link. They look like a reasonable price. Guessing they're good for travel as in holidays - we have flights booked for end of September for a short break (6 days) to a Greek island. Reckon a carrier for front and back would be a good option as think it's got a lot of steps and hilly rather than flat. Clifftop walks sounds scary and challenging though with a baby! You're very brave and I'm guessing very active.

@KnitKitty glad you can continue to BF although those jabs sound painful. Gosh you really have been through a lot. Hope you recover quickly and it's not long term. You've done amazingly well despite the challenges this week - so strong!

@Twittlebee great tips there, thank you - I've so much to learn. So sorry you're getting more cramping and bleeding. Can you go to EPU or call your midwife/consultant to be seen? Really hope that it's nothing and just "one of those things some women get through pregnancy". It must be so scary. I hope you're putting your feet up and resting. Does the show look like the plug? Sorry I've no idea what it would look like.

On my way into work - can't believe I finish up tomorrow. DH and I were saying last night we can't believe still that we might have a baby next month at home with us. It's all still so surreal and he said that it won't really hit us until we are home with Bubsy. Had a very active baby this weekend, especially yesterday, I think Bubsy likes acupuncture as I had a session on Saturday. DH thinks much of the success of this pregnancy so far is down to the acupuncture - he was also getting it until the end of the first trimester. We started it 2 months before the BFP.

@InDreamland yeah went into quite a bit of detail there didnt I about DS though maybe haha! Honestly, I dont think anyone can have learnt everything, things change all the time - research etc - and every baby is different. I am actually a bit nervous as we had it so easy with DS that I am sure DS3 will have to be one of those non-sleeping babies!

I'll give MW a text, I know it was really stupid of us as we have been advised not to and I feel so ashamed in admitting it but we did have sex and I am worried that has set things off.

Do you have anything planned to mark start of mat leave?

@Twittlebee I think the tips are really useful and I'll try remember them. Guess it's minimising time laying on back as much as possible. I've been told every baby is so different but maybe you'll be lucky and have another easy one. Ah right, that might be it and hopefully it is the explanation and hasn't caused anything serious but just a small irritation. Have to admit DH and I haven't DTD since the BFP, firstly it was because I was too scared to in case it caused any problems and didn't want to blame a 3rd loss on it, then as time went on and bump started growing DH has been put off DTD because Bubsy is in there and it doesn't feel right lol. Yes please text your midwife and hopefully you can get checked. Better than worrying about it. DH and I haven't planned anything to mark the start of maternity leave yet but might go to a very nice local (child free) restaurant we love as a treat as who knows when we'll next go. Bubsy won't be allowed in until 12 years old unless we hire out the private dining room which we did for DH's birthday a couple of years ago so his/our nieces could come but you need a decent number of people for that. Can't do anything this weekend as it's my sister's birthday and Chinese New Year so anything we do will have to wait. What did you do to mark the start of maternity leave? Any good ideas?

Thank you for the well wishes. I survived yesterday, now to focus on DD1's birthday tomorrow before DD2's on Friday.

DS now has suspected cows milk protein intolerance so I need to remove all traces of milk from my diet and follow up in 2 weeks, removed all main sources 10 days ago so hopefully will see an improvement soon.

@Knitkitty glad you have a treatment that you can continue breastfeeding with.

@InDreamland ah that would be nice, a good treat to go before bubsy! My first day of mat leave I marked with a lay in, followed by staying in my Pjs with my feet up for the morning and then popped into town for a visit to my fav bakery. Funnily enough, that would pretty much become a standard day even when DS came home haha

Sorry, not quite caught up with everything but wanted to pitch in with the baby carrier talk - I didn't get much use of the one I had with dd as she was too small for it until she got too big for me to comfortably get her in there - she was on the small size and I am small too so always found it too bulky and wrong height. I have been randomly looking and found this mini carrier, which I think I will try once baby is actually here, don't know if it's any use to anyone else - small, definitely suitable for newborns, looks like a baby sling alternative rather than a big carrier that will last for 'years' if your toddler would have it - mine didn't hehe

BABYBJÖRN Baby Carrier Mini, 3D Jersey, Light Grey https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07D5FDBP5/ref=cmswwrcppapiii_2dzjEbY9SJ9SV

Oh and @InDreamland - how soon after birth you'd need the buggy is completely up to you really, with dd I did indeed not really leave the house for a few weeks other than to appointments which the car seat was all we needed really. It took me a while to used to going on walks with the pram etc, I kept thinking it's not safe/ comfortable enough for dd and looking at her vibrate about in there! I would agree with what others have suggested , order so it's ready for pick up and you can actually fetch is after the birth in case you do feel up for going outside. Win-win.

@Kayjay2018 - yes we are close, 26 May here!

34+3 and she has really dropped into my pelvis this weekend. I was struggling with PGP before, but I'm properly shuffling and useless now. My DH has been away this weekend, got back yesterday thank god as lifting our toddler is almost impossible for me to do from the floor now. Home stretch!

@frillyfarmer I was 31 this weekend and I'm definitely struggling to get up. I'm still doing bedtime duty with two year old. And having to run after him and wrestle him into his sleeping bag and then carry him into bed. I'm not sure how much longer I'll manage! Breech seems to be a lot more uncomfy than cephalic and my bump is definitely a lot bigger than last time. This baby is massive. I'm going to ask the midwife yet again to be tested for diabetes this week

Ahhh ladies I've been trying to find you!! Let me catch up on the thread, be back soon! Xxx

@fnej01 yaay 30 weeks! Well done!! No reason you can't still plan for vaginal birth with induction ( or without - babies often have their own plan!) but ask for clarity on why suggestion for c section over inducing. The steroids will be to support babies lungs and you might not need them and they'll scan nearer the time to measure baby x

@InDreamland how lovely that you're planning mat leave and prams. I hope you've managed to enjoy some elements of your pregnancy. I found our pram useful in the first few weeks so baby could nap downstairs and we could eat a meal together, but we didn't buy a Moses basket so the bassonet was used. Also, you might find you feel awesome after birth, we went for a walk on day 2 though it was July and lovely and warm. Equally though you can get anything delivered dead quick on t'interweb!

@KnitKitty well congratulations! I've just seen about the PE though sounds like you're getting that sorted. Yeah the bruising from injections...Are you still ok to bf then?

I'll keep catching up xx

@UnicornsandRainbows1 congratulations, hope you're all settling ok!

@Squiff70 cripes little Ava really was early. Glad to hear she's progressing, one day at a time, but I can imagine its a long journey for you xx

@coconutlatte44 did anything develop after the bloody show?! I might have missed it though!

Any news from @laney79?

Hi everyone!
Thanks @Yukka, you didn’t miss anything, just got out of the hospital today with baby Eli who was born Saturday at 39+2.

I’m biased but think he’s the pretty much the best thing ever.

N'aaaaaw how cute... Another one! No wonder this thread is going quiet! Congratulations.

Congratulations @coconutlatte44 hope all is going well!

Hey @yukka how are you?

We're doing ok. Little man is three weeks old today. We've been struggling with feeding so are now officially combi feeding. I think a mix of the section, blood loss/anaemia and tongue tie has meant my milk supply has been affected. Plus the TT made feeding v painful for me and exhausting for him as he wasn't latching etc properly. So now he gets boob and bottle and that seems to be working if pretty time consuming.

We went for our first walk yesterday in the pram-he looked so small in there!! Think I over dressed him in a snow suit as he was pretty toasty when we got home -think I'll try more thinner layers next time.

Huge congrats @coconutlatte44 - he's lovely! How are you doing?

@KnitKitty So sorry to hear about the PE - but I'm so glad they picked it up. I lost a good friend to a PE, she was only 27, completely out of the blue. I feel your pain on the injections. I only had 7 days worth after the section, and I had the three days during pregnancy with the suspected DVT. It may not be sustainable for the amount of time you need them but I used Ametop gel to numb my skin before each jab and I felt they hurt less and certainly the bruising wasn't as bad as it had been with the ones I had in pregnancy.

@InDreamland we bought the buggy ages ago when it was on offer but like you I had worries it would somehow tempt fate so it was kept in its box until mothercare went into administration. Had to get it out then and check it over (it's a mothercare journey). We've been using our Moses basket lots. We have it downstairs during the day then at night it goes between us on the bed so it's safe for little man to sleep but we both have easy access to him. We have a next to me crib too but it looks huge at the mo!

@Squiff70 I just want to send you huge hugs. I'm pleased to hear Ava is getting a bit better. You've had such a tough time but she's obviously a very strong little lass just like her ma. X

Sorry to not reply to all individually - trying to read and reply whilst little man is on the boob!
Xxx

Here's some cuteness...the faces are hilarious!

Lovely to see the baby pics on this thread!

It's definitely quieter on here now.

I'm signed off as I've managed to have the flu, UTI, sinusitis, nose bleeds, bad cold, ear problems and a trip to the hospital to check for a blood clot! Feeling sorry for myself and bed rest is actually pretty uncomfortable on day 7!

When I saw the dr yesterday he said my BP was high and asked if I get anxious... so I said yes, I'm 16 weeks and don't feel pregnant and I'm scared my midwife won't find the heartbeat on Wednesday. I also reminded him I've had two losses. He very kindly offered to listen for me. Took him a while but he found it eventually and I was able to record it on my phone ❤️

Pregnancy after loss is so bloody hard and I'm not even half way! I'm still finding it hard to believe I'm pregnant, it's like it's not happening to me. I'm also worried we'll have bad news at the 20 week scan but maybe if that goes ok and once we know the baby's sex I'll be able to start feeling a bond... maybe. You ladies are all giving me hope though.

@Bluebelltulip glad you managed to get through the day. Happy birthday to DD1! Hope you all enjoy the day.

@Twittlebee that sounds like a lovely way to spend your first day of maternity leave.

@Twitwooo good to hear your experience with the carrier too. I think that's why the guy in JL said to us to wait until baby is here first then we can try out different ones with baby to see which suits bests or if we even like it.

@frillyfarmer oh you poor love, sounds painful. Thankfully I don't have PGP, just very uncomfortable but not too painful if that makes sense. Make sure you put your feet up at every opportunity. Not long to go now for you!

@Rubyroost you must be exhausted. I don't know how all of you already with a little one do it. It's hard work being pregnant without a tot to run around after. All respect to you all! Less than 10 weeks to go for you!

@StealthMama thanks for sharing your experience. We should be getting 2 moses baskets from SIL, one for upstairs and one downstairs so all we need to buy are new mattresses for those so hopefully that's day and night sleeping taken care of.

@Laney79 such cute photos! Thanks for sharing. Absolutely adorable! Lovely to see you popping back! Do you have a big king size bed to fit the moses basket on? Ours is a regular double so think we'll have to keep it on the stand that SIL said she's also giving us next to the bed. Good idea keeping the pram in the box.

@coconutlatte44 awwwww CONGRATULATIONS! He's gorgeous! How are you feeling? So many more rainbows on this thread is heartwarming to see.

@RedRobin7 sorry to hear you've been so unwell. Resting up is definitely the best thing for you. Totally agree that pregnancy after loss is just so hard, it gets slightly better the further along you get but the worry and anxiety is still there. I won't believe it until I bring a healthy Bubsy home. Great that you managed to listen to the HB and 16 weeks is a great milestone to reach. Keeping all fx for you for your 20 week scan! Hope you feel better soon!

On my final commute into work on my last day before maternity leave! I am not going to miss this commute, it's been horrendous this morning. Can't believe it's the last time I'm making my way into work before Bubsy comes. 36 weeks today. This is so weird. Never in a million years did I think I'd get to this point.

We really need some more BFP's on this thread!

Aw look at those pics!! Congrats @coconutlatte44 and @Laney79 how adorable. It's amazing how short a time they stay that small for. Lots of snuggles!

@Laney79 sounds like you've had a few problems feeding, are they treating the tongue tie or seeing how it goes for now? Either way you're clearly doing a great job :)

All good here, Dd is 6 months old  we started weaning onto solids on Sunday so, think I've processed enough sweet potato to last till Christmas....

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue where are you up to also hun, can see you were due but can't see update perhaps I missed it xx