The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #6 - 🐧 The Penguin Huddle 🐧

[KnitKitty]

This is a safe space and supportive thread for anyone who is pregnant following a loss. We all understand the worry and anxiety that can come from being pregnant again following miscarriage/stillbirth.

Please feel free to join, even if you were not on the original TTC thread.

Starting the roll call copied from the last thread. Not everyone is on there, so please add to it/update/edit.
Also, thought it might be fun if we add Girl/Boy/Surprise on there too, so we can see who's expecting what

@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 32, EDD 29/01/20 - Girl
@UnicornsandRainsbows1, 29, EDD 29/01/2020
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@ChikiTIKI , 29, EDD 04/04/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Catconfusion, 40, EDD 12/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 13/04/20
@TinyPaws, 33, EDD 18/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@Dimblebimble, 29, EDD 29/4/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020
@SunshineCrocodile, 37, EDD 4/6/2020
@TwittleBee , 25, EDD 25/06/20

And a shout-out to the Mamas who have already had their beautiful babas!
@Boboelephant, @Yukka, @Melpops36, @Beaglemum93 and a special mention for our hero mum @Squiff70 who we continue to keep in our thoughts and prayers.

@InDreamland only gotten organised in the last couple of weeks when I was told that when we were born can have a correlation with when we give birth. I asked my mom and found out I came a week and a half early! So all of a sudden I felt a bit more urgency than I had previously.

I would really recommend trying some OTC heartburn meds and seeing if they make a difference - I don’t know how I’d have survived the last few weeks without them. They don’t affect baby.

@fnej01 thanks for explaining that. So many things in pregnancy I just don't get. There's still time isn't there for baby to turn? And they can do things to encourage baby to turn to right position? My acupuncturist said she can turn them too and has done loads so if I need to I'll try that.

@coconutlatte44 don't worry about the baby having the same birth plan to show as you did, I asked the midwife about that very thing as I was very late, mum was induced and I still refused to come out so I ended up being an emergency c-section. Midwife assured me that has no correlation and that I'm not my mum, baby is not me and every pregnancy is different. Good though that you are getting organised. So many seem to get organised around 34-36 weeks so I'm definitely going to start getting sorted just in case. I will ask midwife on Tuesday first I think about the feeling a little sick when lying down as it's not all the time plus my ribs ache too, see what she says.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue @Laney79 how are you both doing?

@Squiff70 how are you and Ava doing? Hope she is making progress and getting stronger.

Today has been a write off. I've slept most of the day I'm so tired. DH and I did spend about 45 mins on baby names ......goodness it's difficult! That or we're very fussy. I think we'll just name baby Bubsy lol.

Hope everyone has had a lovely NYD.

I'm having a pregnancy freak out. I've been reasonably relaxed and now I'm freaking again. So not only has baby got a big head and abdomen which is worrying me, but currently in the breech position. Now I've googled and I've read that sometimes they don't move out of the position as have neurological problems and double the percentage of breech babies are born with birth defects than non breech.

I've totally freaked myself out.

@Rubyroost your midwife wasn't concerned with the scan results? Any concerning abnormalities picked up at the 20 and 28 week scans that required re-scanning or further investigations? Stay away from Dr. Google! Why do we do this to ourselves - I know I do it too but we all know we shouldn't Google things because we start freaking out. Please try to remind yourself your medical team are not concerned. If you are still worried tomorrow though please call your midwife for reassurance to stop you worrying x

Thanks @Indreamland I know I'm probably being completely irrational. 😭What am I like? No nothing picked up at either of my 20 week scans, I had two as I had a private one as well. I've even convinced myself the fact that this baby moves all the time, must mean something is wrong too.
I was doing okayish, had a reasonable run from around 15 weeks until now with a bit of worrying around 20 weeks. I think I was like this my first successful pregnancy too. Was alright for a while and then convinced myself baby had cord wrapped round neck, hence the hiccuping and went for a scan to check blood flow. 😳 Then when I had him I was crapping myself about the meconium in my waters when I was induced. All turned out okay though.

@Rubyroost sorry to hear you are feeling so anxious. Have you got a birthing ball? I have started to lean on mine to try and help baby turn. Also sitting on it rotating your hips. I am also going back to pregnancy yoga I think try to see if that helps wiggle baby around.
On the growth scans I think as long as baby is tracking along their line, they don't worry too much on size. Might be worth chatting through your worries with your midwife though. Xx

I’m feeling quite worried myself. Just had my 26 week midwife appointment. Baby was doing her usual trick of resting to one side and she couldn’t get a good measurement of the bump, so when it came up on the graph it’s below the 10th centile. Have to go back next week for a scan as she said they need an accurate measurement for the first one. She said it’s nothing to worry about but obviously I am. Heartbeat and movements all normal. :(

Awwww @Mistymeow, I'm sorry you're worrying too. If baby was in strange position that may explain why measuring small. The midwife measurements are notoriously inaccurate. I know this is easy for me to say when I'm sweating with anxiety over here. Good luck for your scan next week. Let us know how it goes x

And thanks fnej01 I don't really need to worry too much about the practicalities if breech as I will be having c section. Though I'm worried as there's an increased risk of hip displasia and double the risk of birth defects. I'd like him to move though still so it's comfier for me and him.

Hi all, sorry for lack of posting but as you can imagine it's been a bit crazy.

C section went well apart from a bleed for me so I lost double the amount of blood I should've so am anaemic now and on iron tablets. Was allowed home the following day thankfully. Just sore and exhausted now!

Our beautiful little man was 7lbs 10ozs and we are besotted. He really is our little miracle rainbow boy xxx

@RubyRoost step away from Google, yes the measurements are at the upper end of normal but the important word is normal. I hope you feel less worried soon.

@MistyMeow have you had any other growth scans? Being small doesn't necessarily mean that there is a problem, I've had three under 10th centile babies now and no problems caused by that (DD2's heart condition didn't impact growth).

@Laney79 congratulations.

DS is now 6 days old and had his first outing for breakfast this morning while DD was at nursery and he has also regained to birth weight!

Congratulations @Laney79 !!!! That's a nice weight :) hope your recovery goes well. Blood loss and anaemia are exhausting to recover from, make sure you take it easy!

Congratulations to you too @Bluebelltulip and it's great to hear you're out and about already and already back to the birth weight!! That's amazing! You must have a content little baby feeding away happily :) xxxx

@laney79 congratulations on the arrival of your rainbow baby boy x

@Laney79 Congratulations on the arrival of your DS! Make sure you look after yourself and get time to recover
@Bluebelltulip amazing DS has regained his birth weight! Hope you are well!

@Laney79 Congratulations! I can't believe it's nearly two years since we met on the MC board. So pleased you finally have your rainbow baby! I'm 14 weeks now and hoping I'll get to meet mine in July!

Congratulations @Laney79!

@Laney79 congratulations! Xx

Congratulations @Laney79 so happy to hear you finally have your rainbow after meeting you all that time ago on the TTC penguin board

@Laney79 congratulations and happy new year.

@Laney79 congratulations on your rainbow baby boy!

@Bluebelltulip that's amazing you sound like things are going really well with your little rainbow too.

@Rubyroost I hope you're feeling less anxious today.

Thanks everyone. Our little man is incredible, I just can't tell you how in love we are.

Have to admit I'm struggling with the exhaustion and pain - less so the section site itself but more the sore nipples and trapped wind-nips especially. Ouch! But it's for our boy so I gave to grit my teeth and get through it somehow x

Awww @Laney79 he's adorable! I'm loving the pose, like he's thinking "ah this is the life". Congratulations again! I'm sure the pain is worth it. I keep reminding myself any discomfort I'm feeling now should be worth it as long as I have my Bubsy in my arms healthy and happy by end of Feb (if decides to be late). OMG it's just hit me, Bubsy is due next month!!!!!! S**t!!!!!!

@Laney79 congratulations!!! He's gorgeous

@Bluebelltulip congratulations and well done on the weight gain and going outside. It took me forever with my dd but I keep telling myself when it's not your first things have to be different.

@Mistymeow do try not to worry. I've had a hard time with bump measurements with dd - was measuring small and then small again and was sent for a scan which showed she was sitting in my pelvis with only her head sticking up (which midwife thought was her bum when she felt my bump) and everything was fine. Eventually and unsurprisingly she did shift up around week 34...so my bump measurements were up significantly compared with how small they were before. My midwife then said because of the fast growth I needed to have GTT a second time and so late in the pregnancy!! I was well miffed. Then had a presentation scan which showed she just moved out and was head down ready for the big day. Try to be positive about it until your scan which will shed some actual light about what's going on in there - it is probably just the position and it might not be the last time it get you in trouble with bump measurements 🤪

I am now 19+3, have my 20 week scan in a weeks time. Can feel baby moving about which helps but still a bit anxious to see everything is ok and developed. Still suffering sickness which sucks but it has improved a lot since the early days so I'm holding on to that (and the fact that the nhs website says 16-20 weeks for it to go away so who knows it might still get better). Having a really busy time with my PhD (thesis final draft due this Sunday) combined with the holidays is not helping my tiredness. Looking forward to it all slowing down again nearer February so I could focus on baby a bit more and hopefully be a bit more... at peace? And try to bond. I feel like I keep avoiding it through various reasons until it's a 'sure thing' but I don't think that's a healthy approach at this point (or rather, in a month's time).

Sorry for rambling!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue massive congratulations! I hope you’re doing ok.
@Laney79 what a lovely baby you have, congrats! I hope you start to feel better soon.
@KnitKitty hope you’re doing well.
@Squiff70 you have been in my thoughts. I hope Ava continues to improve.

@Rubyroost I can’t take my own advice, I totally googled! But I found it reassuring as I saw how common it is to have growth scans. How are you doing? I think because of our backgrounds you can’t help but jump to the worst case scenario. I feel more rational today. My mum trained as a midwife and she isn’t worried. Also now baby has moved my bump looks bigger.
@Bluebelltulip thank you that is reassuring to hear. It’s the first time I’ve been measured with the tape but she’s always measured spot on at scans. My friend’s baby was always on the 5th centile and he’s also fine. So glad your little one is doing well.
@Twitwooo thank you yes I have a feeling she will keep misbehaving as it’s the second time she’s rested to the right and they put me in for a scan straight away (because they thought I had a fibroid and also couldn’t find heartbeat). Would love to not have any more scans but I can’t fault the care. Any potential issue will be picked up and that’s what’s important, even though it’s scary. I had sickness until 20 weeks, so annoying, but it did go away (only to be replaced with heartburn). Impressive you are doing a phd, hope it’s all going well. I bet it’s a good distraction.