ELLIEG I can relate to everything you are saying and worry about exactly the same things. When I had my scan I felt happy and then a couple of days later I'm back to worrying again. Do pg hormones really fluctuate? I thought that they were supposed to increase until the placenta took over. I wish I'd never read that bloody pregnancy book . I can still remember things it said even though I've thrown it away. I keep remembering what it said about lower back pain which is what I had last time.
My biggest fear apart from losing this pregnancy is that I'll never have any children. Now that I have finally realised how important it is, I can't imagine any joy or happiness in my life without children. I am so lonely and frightened and have not really recovered from the extreme anxiety and depression which developed during the pregnancy in earlier in the year when things were going wrong from the start. There were twins and one started going straight away and then the other eventually died and I had to wait 3 weeks to find out. This is why I want a scan every week. I am still crying often, afraid to be alone, I really can't cope with seeing families and children when I go out, and going to the supermarket is torture. I move through my life like a ghost. I routinely I follow the same steps as the day before get up, go to work, come home, eat, try to watch telly, then go to bed early. The weekends are horrible because I can't enjoy my life anymore.
Yesterday I felt tired and slightly nauseated for a few hours and today nothing except a sore lower back so I am pannicking.
On a lighter note, since the beginning of the pg I too have been constantly feeling my breasts to check that they are sore enough and sometimes they just aren't . I even do it at work, people must think I'm mad! This process is so fraught.
Another long post from me, sorry. I so hope we'll all be ok. Love from Missworry (aka Naomi).
Happy and well, happy and well, happy and well.