Pregnancy after miscarriage - Various ways of getting from one day to the next...

[Uki]

Thanks for the thread name Purplelostprincess

karma - when you're ready for it - I'll be over the moon to see you back!

Take care, and heal.

Karma-sorry to hear what you are going through. I know I was told during my tests regarding my miscarriages that if they had been able to test from any of the babies I'd lost then they would have been possibly able to find out more about why I miscarried and some possible solutions. (Like Mrs McJnr I'm on Clexane as they have possibly highlighted a clotting disorder and think it might help).
FWIW I have had 2 x DS without problems, then 3 x mcs. I know it is really hard to understand why it happens after successful pgs.
In Lesley Regan's book she says that everyone knows when it is their time to say no more trying and I think this is true. Only you could know, but if all is lost with this pg it might be best to see if they can find out more now rather than you regretting not finding out if you go for tests later.
Sorry to ramble on, hope I have helped.

Evening all - I'll apologise now, I'm never going to be able to keep up properly on this thread. But my mat leave starts on Friday, so from next week, I'll have more time - unless little decides to make an early appearance. Bit scary being a joint Grande Dame!! Makes it all seem so much more real!

Karma - so very sorry to hear your awful news. Nothing can take away the pain you must be feeling now, but as the others have said, we'll be waiting to welcome you back as and when you are ready. Take care of yourself and keep talking - don't keep anything in.

Ejt - I remember those early days of the KWA!! Does go to show though that those of us pg after mc, it is an entirely different pg experience we go through than those who have never felt the heartache and pain of losing one or more babies. Have to say that at 35.5 weeks, I'm still knicker watching obsessively!!

Glimmer - glad to hear all well with you - can't believe you're in the 3rd trimester. it is all going so quickly - but then i'm not admitting to myself that I'm due in just over 4 weeks now!!

congrats to PinkRanger - great news and Tate is a beautiful name - I'm sure the stitches were all worth it!!

In bed writing this and battery is running low, so going to have to go now!!

Love and hugs to all
xxx

Had horrible dreams about losing my baby last night and feel all rubbish and scared today.

Ellie - it's absolutely horrible having those dreams - I had them earlier on, and they left me feeling sad and down. Even when you rationalise it and realise that this feeling is simply your unconscious (or is it subconscious) brain working through things, it doesn't make it any easier.

I found that when I had the awful dreams, writing about them on here helped, as did repeating a little mantra "safe and well" ... I can't remember who told me about it, but it hepled to calm the feelings of dread.

Really big hugs to you today.

Thanks ejt - glad it's not just me, I keep dreaming this stuff and I thought I was being a loon as it really affects my mood the next day. And the other night I dreamed about my little lost baby and woke up crying. Thought I'd feel more secure than this - i think it's because I'm getting close to 8 weeks and last time that's when my baby died (although didn't know til 12 week scan). Am dreading the scan, but at the same time can't wait. Is all very confusing.
I think some was sparked off by worrying about my DSD - her Mum died about 3 years ago (before I knew them) and she's normally very chilled, but last night I heard her crying in bed and went in and she was sobbing her little heart out, poor thing, because she had thought about her Mummy and she really missed her - didn't know what to do or say to make it better so just cuddled her and let her have a cry. After a bit she was OK again and went to sleep but I was so sad for her, and feeling really inadequate, and all hormonal anyway, so not a good combo.
Sorry for moaning.

aw ellie, sorry you're having such a tough morning. i had lots of dreams like that in the erly days. it's just your brain working out all your deep seated worries and im sure everything is fine, but it is difficult when the dreams seem so real. i woke up in blind panic several times as in my dreams i wasn't even pregnant.

your poor dsd.....she's lucky to have such a caring stepmum. does she know you're pregnant? she may be having some worries about you and her dad loving this baby more than her? lots of tlc needed for all of you today i think

ikwym about the scans as well. i had three early scans due to various issues; the build up to them was awful and the immense relief afterwards very emotionally draining.

take it easy on yourself.

Firstly I want to say how sorry I am for Karma. Miscarriage is such a terrible thing I hope you find the strength and support to get through those awful dark days and weeks. To have 3 is just too unfair.

Glimmer, i can't believe you are in your third trimester now, where has the time gone??? How are you doing?

I love being a 'Grande Dame', it feeds my ego beautifully! My prediction is that the order will be:
Fettle first, then Mumpbump, then Ejt1764, then Purple then me last (which is fine by me btw).

EJT - I love that clip from your earlier postings. I think that we have all posted similar things in in our first trimester on here. I know I did! Hopefully it'll give hope to those that are in the thick of it and make them realise how understandable and normal their feelings are.

Mumpbump, I too am with an Independent Midwife and am very happy with the decision. As an added bonus mine does reflexology so I will be getting weekly reflexology treatments from now on. I had the same m/w for dd and I was very glad of the decision, both ante-natally as well as post-natally.

MrsMc - Yay! to the kick. Halfway there - that's fabulous.

Well had a m/w appointment yesterday and it looks like the baby is finally head down!! Yeah!
We are completing on the house today so have loads to do this week. The midwife thinks that once the move is done and dusted I might be able to get my head in the right place for labour preparation - at the moment it just seems too remote and unconnected to me that my due date is only 4 weeks 2 days away. I haven't done any preparation other than hire the pool, (and I'll probably forget to go and pick that up). I don't know where any labour kit is, don't know where the new baby stuff is, have let the pelvic floor exercises lapse, haven't taken any raspberry leaf tea, am not doing any optimal foetal positioning, haven't listened to my hypnosis CD. It's like I've got a massive exam in 4 weeks and I haven't even started my revision. Me and dp have odd moments when it dawns on us and we look at each other and say 'shit!'. But then we move on to other things and forget about it again.

Sorry that was all about me wasn't it.

Love and hugs to all of you in your first trimester and feeling wobbly.

and no need to apologise for moaning

i haven't caught up with things and had only read ellie's post....

....karma, so so sorry to hear your news . i hope you get some rest and that you can get some answers so that you are better prepared to try again in the future. hugs to you xx

Sorry x-posts with EllieG. That last bit I wrote about hugs to those of you feeling wobbly is obviously particularly apt for you. Remember it was just a dream, you are not psychic, it was no more than your worries coming out. Repeat after me...EVERYTHING IS FINE. The only way to get rid of the memory of those dreams is to have another one, so today will probably be a shaky one, but tomorrow you'll hopefully be more upbeat.
Did you get the doctor to refer you for an early scan??

That's so sad about your DSD. The poor love. What can you say though? You can only let her know that it's ok to cry and to let her feel that you are there for her. Oh the poor thing.

Ellie - like EJT, I also dreamt about m/c this baby. Dreams often reflect what you are worried about and anyone who is pg after a m/c is inevitably going to worry about having another m/c. EJT's suggestion is very good to write about them here. Sort of excising the demons. I think it was Uki who suggested the mantra and I also found it helpful, if only because as long as you are concentrating on repeating it, it tends to block out the negative thoughts... Hope that you feel a bit better soon.

Fettle - can't believe you're going on maternity leave. So jealous! I have another 2.5 weeks of work to go and my pelvic ligaments are aching from my 25 minute walk from the station to the office and back. Absolutely knackered...

EJT - I think most of the original members of KWA will be graduating soon! Very funny quotes!

Sorry - got interrupted half-way through posting so crossed with Daisy and Rubles...

Rubles - we were like you last time. Loads of building work and ds' arrival was only incidental, iyswim! I remember painting our dining room the week before he arrived and it was only once I had done that that I suddenly twigged to the reality of the fact we were imminently about to have a baby!! Pleased to hear that you are completing today. Moving house can be so stressful!

Hello to Daisy!!! Are you completely over your c-section? Out of interest, how long do you reckon it took to recover?

hi mumpbump....it took a few weeks to be comfortable on my feet for any length of time, but i had a wound infection. i was driving again at four weeks though but bumping the pram up and down kerbs didn't stop being painful till about seven weeks.

i can honestly say that things aren't right yet, but i haven't really started exercising yet as the school hols mean i have no time to myself as ds needs entertaining when dd is sleeping. most of the probs though are down to general pregnancy troubles..ie pelvic floor, sacro-iliac joint, ligaments etc.

gosh it's going to be exciting here soon with five of you all due around the same time.

Thank you people - feel a bit better now. Am repeating the mantra in my head when get worried and seems to be working! Daisy - no DSD does not know about PG yet - we will tell her after the first scan if all OK, as if not I don't want her to worry. That's what we did last time and I was so glad she didn't have to know about the MC.

Are you getting excited to be so near the end now rubles? I kinda forget that I am actually doing this to have a baby sometimes!

To all the Grand Dames:
I didn't mean to take anything from you by nominating you collectively... Maybe each of you want to pick a special colour: Grand Dame bleu or Grand Dame lilac?

Pinkranger -- congratulations! Well done and enjoy little Tate!

Rubles, some book say it's good not to be too prepared, because then you go more with your instincts. Great the baby is head down -- it seems the person who really needs to, is well prepared ...

Mumpbump -- glad you have already somebody in mind. I know mine does last-minute appointments if she has availability. She is located in the Thames Valley.

Fettle, Mat leave to close, yeah!!! That must be so nice!

EJT -- thanks for cheering us up with your post, If it wouldn't be so sad it would be very funny. Maybe it can be both at the same time, but we are the only ones who really understand.

EJB -- are you still around?

Ellie, sorry for your dreams. I think it's also a result of your high hormne levels...
I think you did just the right thing with DSD: be there for her but allow her to grief.

I am doing well, actually better than a few weeks ago (maybe I belong to those, who have a better third than second trimester?) Feeling movements every day has made a huge difference to me. I am now in the stage where people openly comment on my shape (How long to go?--12 weeks, not possible!).

My friends who had babies recently but no losses do not get, that I am still very aware that things still can go wrong and am therefore somewhat cautious and have no understanding that I still mourn for my first baby. I do not expect them to "understand", but I want them to accept my feelings. In short, I still feel that there is a huge gap between them and me, especially as almost all of them have had their babies now and try to give me well-meant advice.

Daisy, Firststar and Uki, hello and all the best! Enjoy the precious time.

Hello Ladies

Hi Spugs ? time does seem to be going quite fast now. We don?t want to know what we are having but hope that curiosity won?t get the better of us at all those scans! How are you?

Karma ? sending huge hugs xx

Jossiejump ? hey stranger great advice as always x How are you?

Fettle hello Grande Dame

EllieG ? I?ve had those too hon and they do rock you, try to remember they are not premonitions, just your fears x Poor DSD

Ejt ? safe and well hon x

Daisy hello! Sounds like the pain stuck around for a while, poor you!

Rubles Grande Dame!! Head down baby, superb! Good luck with the house completion PMSL about the prep - you?ll get there!!

Hello Mumpbump talking of dreams, I had a really weird one last night ? DH was accused of raping a co-worker, who was Brittany Spears, she?d made it all up but the whole thing was pretty nasty and public and for some reason, even though I was this age and pg, I was at school but no-one would speak to me because of the allegations so the teacher took pity on me and took me to the staff room ? which turned out to be a wave pool! ? what the hell!? not long until mat leave now

Glimmer

Not sure what that one says about the state of your subconcious MrsMc!

Hi all

Mumpbump - poor you, still got 2.5 weeks left! I'm thinking these remaining 2.5 days are too much more to cope with!!

My SPD has got really bad over the last couple of days which isn't helping though - hardly sleeping at night and consequently neither is DH - so it's all fun, fun, fun in our house!! I was induced with DD at 36 weeks, so it's quite frightening to think that I could have another 4 weeks of this pain to go! Hopefully next week once I'm off and not commuting so far, it will settle down. I think I've just done too much over the last couple of weeks with the move.

Rubles - hope all goes smoothly today - good luck with the move. We're almost sorted I think - bits of the house are in chaos still, but the bits we live in mainly are ok!! Managed to sort out the nursery a bit, which makes me feel a bit better, but no optimal baby positioning going on here either, or hospital bag packing!! Must do it this weekend!

MrsMc - that dream. Wonderful things the human brain!

Do agree though that I think we all have had bad dreams with throughout pregnancy - I think it is the only way your subconcious can cope, sorting things through while you are asleep - just wish we didn't need to remember the bad ones when we wake up.

Sorry to hear your pain is continuing Daisy - I'm so hoping my pelvic pain miracously disappears after birth, which is what happened with DD, but it's definitely worse this time around, so I doubt I'll be so lucky!

Glimmer - good to feel kicks isn't it - I love the reassurance of it! How's DH settled into the UK BTW? Hope all is rosy in the Glimmer house!

right, must go - at work, so technically shouldn't be on here and have a meeting at 2pm, my last scheduled appointment until mat leave, so technically I don't need to come into the office after 4pm today, but I'll have to come and sort my desk out I suppose!

Take care all
xxx

BTW - not sure what colour Grande Dame, I want to be? I'll think on that for a while!!

EllieG - I know!

GD Fettle - poor you lovely to get the nursery started though

Just read thread about ladies losing babies at 20 weeks and had a wobble ? Healthy and well, healthy and well, healthy and well??

MrsMcJnr We'll be all right. I am sure!!! Sending you positive vibes

thanks, it's so awful what happens sometimes

Mrs - stop reading other threads!!

HEALTHY AND WELL AND KICKING!!!
HEALTHY AND WELL AND KICKING!!!

XXX

thanks Fettle

MrsMc ... safe and well and swimming in a wave pool

Glimmer, can I be Grande Dame Violette?