Graduates of the TTC After Pregnancy Loss thread. Aka: The Penguin Huddle

[MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue]

This is a safe and supportive thread for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and are now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread, have suffered a loss and are now pregnant please feel free to join the penguin huddle 🐧

Positive pants ON. Let’s get our rainbows ladies 🌈

Haven't caught up with the thread yet! But jumping in with a selfish post - sorry!

Anomaly scan today at 21weeks 💞 everything absolutely perfect, little lady was wriggling away in there and lots of yawning! I'm going to buy some things this week now I've got over my biggest milestone

Congrats @Frillyfarmer what a lovely scan.

@Indreamland I'll feel a lot better after the 20 week scan if all goes okay. I think I might be able to refer to the future a bit more after that, you know being able to say when baby arrives and considering names etc.

Hi ladies, just checking in.

I'm not going to do a long post tagging you all as I have nothing constructive to add that hasn't already been said. Congratulations on those great scans though!

I'll be 18 weeks this Sunday, and we lost our previous twins at 19 weeks. It's a very anxious time at the moment but I strongly believe these babies will be okay. I've even bought some 'tiny baby' clothes today as my consultant said he'll deliver the twins at 36 or 37 weeks. They're so dinky, even DP was going crazy over them :)

@Frillyfarmer congratulations! Lovely scan photo. Glad you feel you can now start buying bits.

@rubyroot good to have that milestone in mind add the point you can start to plan. I'm still saying "if" rather than "when" Bubsy arrives so in definitely not there yet. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to say "when". I know we'll have to start drawing up a serious list of names at some point, probably in 3rd trimester though.

@Squiff70 I'm not surprised you're feeling anxious now but great you're more confident these two will be okay. Keeping fingers crossed for you! It's so lively you've been able to buy some little things. I can't even be brave enough to pick up the Bounty free pack from Asda/Tesco.

Hello ladies, hope you don’t mind me posting. Most of you won’t remember me but i did post on the ttc group last year for a while (I had 3 mcs while ttc dc2)
Since getting pregnant again, I’ve thought about posting here many times but have always been too scared in case I jinxed it.

Well I just wanted to share that I’m now sat here cuddling my 8 day old rainbow!

I had an incredibly anxious pregnancy; always said ‘if’ not ‘when’, didn’t tell anyone until after 20 wks, would buy any maternity clothes until after 24wks, didn’t buy anything for the baby or tell ds1 until after 34 wks. I had lots of extra scans in the early days then became obsessive over feeling movements ( and went in for reduced movements on a few occasions which really helped to reassure me).
Yes I would have loved to have been more positive but it was just what I had to do to get through it.
So I just wanted to share this with you to show that there is light at the end of the tunnel and also just to say that after what we’ve all been through on our ttc journeys, be kind to yourselves and just do whatever you need to to get through your pregnancies.
Wishing you all all the luck in the world x

@rdm10 oh wow, congratulations!!!!!!!!!! Thanks so much for posting xxxx

@Kayjay2018 lovely scan! Hope your harmony results are back soon and all ok. I was team yellow with first pregnancy, I really loved not knowing.

@Frillyfarmer lovely scan as well, lovely to hear you feel ok to start buying g a few baby bits.

@TwittleBee hooray for the digi! How are you feeling - rough ride for you to be hit with nausea already. I never get symptoms (which is another anxiety issue altogether) but I certainly don't envy anyone pregnancy sickness. Hope it doesn't get too bad.

@Dimblebimble I'm glad your scan showed a healthy baby but really sorry that you ended up feeling deflated by the experience. We pin such importance on these scans, I can totally understand why you'd feel let down by the way it was handled. I hope you're feeling better now.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue wow, busy week in the appointments calendar! Hope the growth scan goes ok, glad the gtt results are good and as you say with elective section it's less of a worry anyway.

@Bluebelltulip I hope you're feeling a bit better now.

@Squiff70 it must be a really tough time for you but it's so lovely that you feel positive about things. The tiny baby clothes are too dinky for words, I love that your DH went gooey over them!

@rdm10 congratulations! How lovely to have your rainbow safe and sound after such a long and anxious time.

Re rings, I took mine off by 3rd trimester every time I think. Never actually swelled that much but they just stopped being comfy.

I have a lovely old bracelet of my Gran's set with a few small stones (diamond/sapphire). It's not hugely valuable or a style I'd ever wear and the catch is broken so I think I might look into getting it made into an eternity ring eventually. I'll have to do it myself though as DH doesn't believe in 'sentimental' jewellery - he doesn't wear a wedding ring and I had to choose and order my own engagement ring (as in, we paid jointly but he wasn't interested in shopping for one so I did it myself!). Miserable old git 

Not much to report here, as usual. No symptoms, and currently 7+3. Both previous MMCs stopped developing at 8-9 weeks so I'm in peak anxiety mode which will probably last until I get past ten weeks. I've pretty much convinced myself that it's all over already and am wallowing in self pity tbh, I can't imagine any outcome but another MC.

Morning ladies. Just had a monster read through, sorry if I have missed replying to anyone, had loads to catch up on!

Thank you all for your reassurance when I lasted posted about no baby bump and no movements, really appreciate it. I ended up going for a private scan at 18+4 as I felt I couldn’t deal with the anxiety of waiting until the anomaly scan. The second the sonographer put the ultrasound probe on little madam turned away and did a little dance! So I found that really reassuring. The sonographer was pretty thorough and it was definitely a better scan experience than other private scans. She measured bubba’s foot which was 2.6cm! They also said my placenta was looking like its low lying at the moment so it’ll be interesting if they think the same at the 20 weeks scan. I know even most people with placenta praevia at 20 weeks don’t have it at term, but I would like to avoid a C section if possible. Anyway with that positive scan experience and my bump finally seeming to emerge a bit over the past week I am feeling a bit less anxious, which is great considering anomaly scan is on Monday! Going to my first pregnancy yoga class today and looking forward to that.

How are you doing @sadtoday21 any movements yet? Today and yesterday I have had some quite faint muscle twitching sensations which I’m hoping is movements, fingers crossed! Hope the wait for the anomaly scan isn’t too bad for you.

@SunshineCrocodile and @Squiff70 sending a handhold, those few weeks surrounding when you have had losses previously are really hard, thinking of you both. It’s great to hear you are feeling confident @Squiff70 and taking positive steps to prepare for your little ones. I have also bought a few bits – I think for me it helps me feel as if I am doing something positive and constructive for this baby, almost as if choosing to believe in her will help things work out OK? Not sure if that makes sense!

@rdm10 I remember you from the TTC thread! Thank you for sharing your news and congratulations! Such lovely news. Did you have a little boy or girl?

@frillyfarmer congratulations, lovely scan photo! Getting to 21 weeks with a good anomaly scan is such a great milestone, really pleased for you. Have fun shopping!

@janey15 fanny daggers are completely normal! I have been getting them on and off through the first and second trimester. The name always makes me chuckle! Did you decide whether to go for NIPT in the end?

@Kayjay2018 congratulations on your scan and good luck for your harmony results

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue congratulations on reaching the third trimester! Glad things are progressing well for you and that you have an appointment with your surgeon booked, that must be a relief.

@Bluebelltulip sorry you’re struggling, it sounds like you have so much on your plate at the moment. Really sorry to hear about your grandma too. Your scan picture of your little one’s face is adorable and I’m glad to hear you’re being monitored closely.

@Dimblebimble congratulations on your scan, great news that baby is fine and NT is good. I don’t think its irrational to feel deflated if things didn’t go as expected, I think we place such importance on these scans that if its difficult to see baby then its hard to get lots of reassurance from it. How did telling your family go?

@Beaglemum93 how did the appointment with your consultant go?

@InDreamland sorry to hear you are struggling so much with anxiety, although its understandable. I think to a certain extent its normal in pregnancy to just worry about the next milestone but it does sound like your anxiety is preventing you from enjoying any of your pregnancy which is a real shame. Wish I could make it better for you. Have you considered having talking therapy or CBT to help with your worries through pregnancy? I know it won’t take the worries away, as I know you feel you won’t be relaxed until your rainbow is in school, but it might help lessen things or at least make them not a central feature of every single day?

@ChikiTIKI how are you doing? Did the stomach aches settle? I have had a fair bit of aching in the lower tummy area on and off, particularly the few days before my bump emerged a little. I think some aching is normal as long as its not severe, prolonged or accompanied by other symptoms like bleeding. Perhaps have a chat with your midwife if its still ongoing and its worrying you?

@TwittleBee congratulations on your BFP and great to see it spelled out on a digi! Nice to see you over here.

@KnitKitty sounds like you’re doing well, and you’re so right that every week – every day even – after 24 weeks brings better prognosis for premature baby so it must feel like a victory when another week goes by, especially when you’re high risk for a premature birth. Keeping my fingers crossed baby keeps cooking though. Your username reminded me are you up to any knitting projects for baby girl?

@rubyroot your midwife sounds vile! I think it would be perfectly reasonable to enquire with the midwifery service or your GP about changing.

Wondering how you are @Laney79 ? And haven’t heard from @hayleyfx and @Boboelephant for a while… @Boboelephant have you had your babies yet? Can’t remember how far along you were when we last heard from you.

Hi ladies! Sorry I’ve been absent for awhile and not had time for a proper catch-up on the thread. Was feeling really anxious in the lead-up to my ananoly scan on Monday, so trying to keep off MN and stay busy as much as possible.

@strawberrye we both have our anamoly scans on Monday! What time is yours? How many weeks will you be? I’m 19+2 today. Felt some twitching the other night, but nothing sense then and it’s hard for me to know whether I imagined it or not. Just feeling really anxious for Monday -haven’t had a scan since 16 weeks, although I did hear the hb at 17 weeks too. You are so lucky you had one at 18 weeks! I’m really nervous 😔.

Ladies please help me out with this question. I’m really worried. My parents brought me some prenatal vitamins from the states and stupidly they took them out of the box and put them in a plastic bag. I’ve been taking a 6 a day because that was the serving size, but now I see the vitamin company changed the serving size to 4 a day and I’m freaking out that I’ve been overdosing on vitamins for an entire month! Please help!

@sadtoday21. Overdosing on vitamins! You'll be fine. I know they say only take so much, but I don't think you can overdose on them.

If they are water soluble any excess comes out in your pooh and urine. If they are fat soluble this doesn't happen, but you haven't taken too much extra to cause any harm. I've been worrying about the omega 3 fish oil I've been taking. I read on the label it says to consult Dr before taking them if you're pregnant. It says it's made out of fish body and not liver. I got so paranoid I stopped taking them anyone else taking omega 3. I don't have any oily fish in my diet

Thanks @rubyroot, really appreciate your reply. I think I've just gotten myself worked up because of the upcoming scan on Monday and still very little movement overall. These vitamins do have omega in them, which is part of the reason I take them, because I also don't have oil fish in my diet. Omega is important for brain development, so was keen to take it particularly in initial 12 weeks. Also been told by midwife to take increase dosage of vitamin d in since its winter.

How have you been doing? How many weeks are you now? Hope you are doing well and managing to stay positive!

@sadtoday21 I'm 18 weeks today, feeling more nervous as the 20 week scan looms. Movements are worrying this early on. I've been getting them since 10.5 weeks, but on and off.. So feeling movements doesn't always help. Baby went crazy on Saturday. Felt him wriggling loads and then hardly anything all week! I think I felt some very very small movement today, but can't be sure. I'm sure it'll be fine though just moved so can't feel him as much!

Great to see you back @strawberrye and yes, buying things for your little girl as you believe in her makes perfect sense! I'm glad your private scan ressured you and that your daughter was moving around quite happily. I'm 18 weeks tomorrow and haven't felt our babies move yet. I'm starting to get a bit worried even though I know there's still plenty of time.

@sadtoday21 I'll be 20+1 on Monday and scan isn't until 4pm so I'm not sure I'll be very be productive at work on Monday! How about you? I know what you mean about wondering whether you imagined the twitching, but as someone on here wisely said, if you didn't feel that twitching before you got pregnant it's probably baby! Yeah I just decided to bite the bullet and pay for one - I felt pretty guilty about it but at the end of the day we just have to do what is helpful to manage our anxieties.
Re the vitamins, if they are prenatal I'm sure it'll be fine. All the water soluble vitamins you'll just pee out the excess, and the fat soluble ones (vitamin A, D, E and K) take a while to increase. Vitamin A is dangerous in pregnancy but it's usually not in prenatal vitamins for that reason. If you're really worried you could just stop taking them altogether and switch to vitamin D only - that's all I'm taking now.

Regarding movements @sadtoday21 and @Squiff70 I was chatting to some ladies at pregnancy yoga and they weren't surprised, said 20 weeks is often too early to feel anything especially with first pregnancy reaching this gestation.

@InDreamland According to Tommy's website cervical incompetence is uncommon. The fact you know a couple of people who've had it must be pure coincidence . If I were you I'd see it as statistically meaning you're unlikely to have it too as it's uncommon and you already have two people around you who've had it... chances of you having it too are extremely low.
As someone else already mentioned, CBT might be really beneficially for you.
In my first trimester I made a list of positive mantras/thoughts/affirmations which I kept by my bed and read every night and morning to try and get some positive thoughts to stick in my brain.
I don't think you should be getting more movements at 22 weeks as it says on everything you read that first movements start at up-to 24 weeks, so anything before is a bonus really! The movements will gradually get more frequent and eventually be more pronounced too.

@Beaglemum93 Hugs. How are you doing today?

@Dimblebimble doesn't sound like the best scan experience, and I totally understand feeling deflated after it. So glad baby is fine though. That's great.

@MyHeartIsBrokenButIHaveSomeGlue I shed a few tears for the wave of light too. How annoying that you won't get a date for the c-section for so long! But great that the ball has got rolling. Hope the growth scan goes well.

@Kayjay2018 I'm glad they're looking after you well. Blimey! What a long appointment! I was in and out of my booking appointment in 30 minutes!

@janey15 I got 'fanny daggers' around 10 weeks and panicked for a moment until I remembered someone on this thread who was a lot further on than me in their pregnancy mentioning having had it around the same time. It really eased my worry. (I am also a fellow endometriosis survivor and have had similar during periods).

@Frillyfarmer Hooray!!! What a lovely picture!

@Squiff70 I'm really glad you're feeling positive despite being at such a difficult point in your pregnancy. Yey for tiny baby clothes!

@rdm10 I remember you from TTC thread and am so pleased you dropped in on us with your news!!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!
Is your rainbow a boy or girl?
Thank you for sharing your experience of a not-so-fun pregnancy with a lovely, happy ending. Has it sunk in yet, or are you feeling awestruck?

@SunshineCrocodile I'm sorry you're going through a tough time right now. The first trimester truly sucks. My advice is give yourself plenty of distractions and plan things to 'look forward' to. In my first trimester I diaried something in for every evening that I could think about going home to do rather than waiting for the days to slowly pass by. Stuff like watching a new episode of a TV series on certain nights of the week that I could look forward to, making plans to see friends, doing a project (e.g. crafting, decorating, sorting finances out), learning new recipes, reading a new book etc etc.... It seemed to help pass the time without me going (too) crazy. Time might speed up a bit more once you've got passed your mile-stone. stay strong!

@strawberrye I'm glad you had a lovely scan experience and that you got some reassurance. How precious with the foot measurement!!! Oh my goodness, I'm melting!
How was yoga?
Yes, been doing little bits of knitting and crocheting. Started to make a mobile but have so-far only made one cloud for that. Made a few hats and some booties. Need to finish a cardigan I started ages ago.

@sadtoday21 vitamins are quite hard to over-dose on and I would think prenatal ones especially so. Don't worry.

@strawberrye how was pregnancy yoga? Hope you enjoyed it!

My stomach aches have settled down thanks and coincidentally I think I've got a tiny bump starting to emerge today! My husband even agrees with me. 16 weeks today. Starting to get suspicious every now again about possible movements although I don't expect to feel any for at least another month. My MIL keeps saying "oh yes you will feel it soon definitely. You always feel it sooner the second time" this annoys me a lot for 2 reasons: I hate constantly being asked if I can feel the baby move. She started texting me most days from 14 weeks with my first pregnancy asking if I felt baby move. I ignored her and in the end had to get me DH to tell her to stop. Also, this is not my 2nd pregnancy it is my 3rd pregnancy 😑

What a lovely scan! @Frillyfarmer

@rdm10 congratulations! Thank you for posting your happy ending 💜

@strawberrye we've decided against the NIPT for now. Partly because we would have to drive for two hours and partly because I'm not sure I could mentally survive a termination unless the baby was too poorly and I'm guessing those kind of problems will show up on a scan. I don't know if that makes any kind of sense?!!

@ChikiTIKI that would really annoy me!

Sorry for only a few replies, I haven't been able to keep up with the thread the last few days!
I'm still struggling with the nausea at 14+5 although I'm trying to cope without any medication as the locum dr I last saw told me to take it as little as possible. It's worse in the morning if I get hungry then hits me really badly at bedtime. Today it's been bad all day because I'm tired. I'm also really struggling to clean my teeth morning and evening without gagging. I'm feeling a bit fed up as was hoping it would be better by now.
My next moan is back pain 😩 My lower back feels like it has seized up and is extremely painful when I get up from sitting or lying down but I chickened out of booking a pregnancy massage again because I'm still scared of 'jinxing' things 🙄
It's obviously not all bad though as DH told me tonight he can't remember the last time he saw me this happy. He said it's been years, probably since we started Ttc in 2015. I'm still moaning and anxious to the point of crying sometimes but he said there's just something different and contented about me 💕

@strawberrye thank you for the handhold. How was yoga? I love my yoga and am still going to my regular class for now, just avoiding the twists and headstands. Good luck for tomorrow's scan.

@KnitKitty thank you for the sympathy and advice. Luckily (sort of!) I'm working all hours and have activities for either me or DC most nights so I'm kept busy. It's more at night I lie awake worrying. Might pinch your positive mantra idea. Just need to get through the next two weeks and if nothing untoward has happened I'll book a scan. And THEN I might admit it's happening.

@sadtoday21 the vitamins will have done no harm! Don't worry, and good luck for your scan. @rubyroot you can buy pregnancy suitable fish oil - hope the link works!

www.barebiology.com/products/bump-glory-dha-pregnancy-omega-3-capsules?variant=3224481473&currency=GBP&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIrr2Q2rmq5QIVmLPtCh0tYQyMEAQYASABEgLqWDBwE

@janey15 really sorry you're having a tough time still, hope it improves soon. But your last couple of lines are just lovely.

@ChikiTIKI how lovely re the bump! I hope your DH issues MIL with a cease and desist order. It's nobody else's business.

@Squiff70 just to reassure you, I didn't feel the twins move until well past 22 weeks. 2x anterior placentas didn't help in fairness!

@janey15 I've found children's toothpaste and tooth brush helps. I hope you feel better soon. It's great you're more contented despite the pain and nausea. Xx

I'm glad all was well at the scan @Dimblebimble but sorry you felt deflated after it.

Great news on your anomaly scan @Frillyfarmer!

@Squiff70 sorry it's such an anxious time for you but I'm glad you can be so positive. Baby clothes are adorable! I'm sure the "tiny baby" ones are even cuter!

Congratulations @rdm10! It's great to hear a happy ending! Hope you and baby are doing well.

@SunshineCrocodile sorry you're feeling like there can't be a positive outcome, I felt the same (and still do sometimes). I have my fingers crossed this is your rainbow. Have you any scans booked or are you waiting for the 12 week one?

@strawberrye glad you had a reassuring scan. The tiny little foot measurement is too cute!

Good luck for your scan @sadtoday21. It's unlikely to have caused any harm from the vitamins. As people have said, you will pee out any excess water soluble vitamins and the fat soluble ones take a while to increase to the point they're harmful. Vitamin D for example takes seven weeks of high dose treatment for a deficiency and the treatment dose is much higher than what you will have been taking. Speak to your midwife and request a blood test though if you're really worried.

My consultant appointment went well on Thursday aside from it being an hour and a half late! They're redoing the GTT test again although they don't expect it to be positive as it was negative when I had it a month ago and I have no signs of it except the baby is on the large side. She listened to the heartbeat and says it sounds good. Next scan is the 31st October. I'm 31 weeks today!

Thanks @SunshineCrocodile for the reassurance! Also reassuring to hear you didn't feel movement until past 22 weeks, at 19+3 I am really starting to give up on it. How many weeks are you now?

@KnitKitty thanks, I am sure you are right. Just having major wobbles before my scan on Monday. That's so cute that you are knitting things for baby and must be very relaxing too!

@strawberrye I will be thinking about you on Monday - only one more day to go now! Hope you get some sleep tonight, I know it will be tough for me. Do you have an anterior or posterior placenta? I thought I felt some fluttering, but now I am just second guessing everything and think maybe it was nothing after all :(. It's hard, I just feel so generally normal overall, the only sign of pregnancy is my bump right now. Is your movement getting any stronger? Pregnancy yoga sounds amazing, I've been meaning to do some as well, just haven't found the time yet. I need something to take my mind off things. Wishing you the best of luck for tomorrow, thinking of you Xxx

Thanks @Beaglemum93, really appreciate it!! Congrats on turning 31 weeks, that's amazing! Not long to go now. How are you feeling?

@SunshineCrocodile thanks for the link, I've seen those and ruled them out due to cost.
I've bought the super drug ones it says they're made from fish body so I'm assuming that means they're okay. I went I to the pharmacist to ask if I could take them but they didn't fill me with confidence. Looked it up and said yes if the benefit outweighs the risk. I asked what the risk was and he said he didn't think there was any. I took omega 3 last time, but I'm so paranoid and these smell a bit fishy whereas the waitrose ones I bought last successful pregnancy didn't.

@janey15 I too am suffering pains, mine are muscle and ligament I think around the front of my pelvis if I move suddenly etc, hopefully everything just growing to give baby some room
@Frillyfarmer what a lovely scan picture, what do you plan on buying? I've been naughty and created a Pinterest folder called baby and stuck loads of mobile patterns to crochet, plus a few items of clothing and a few blankets, not confident enough yet to start them though
@rdm10 congratulations on your baby, lovely news.

@SunshineCrocodile I'm sorry you are feeling anxious. I've made it passed my last dates for MC (7weeks) but new nerves are about as I wait for these test results. I'm also nervous waiting to hear what departments I am being referred to and worried they won't scan me as frequently as I need, so don't think it will ever go away! And can also vouch that having a near 16 year old DS I still worry about him.

@strawberrye glad you had such a reassuring scan, your little ones foot is only a cm smaller than mine in total size at the moment. It's amazing how fast they suddenly grow.
@KnitKitty you are a crochet person too! Pinterest has so much stuff I struggle to make a choice on what to make - am sure it will be the same if I get to make baby items. My mums an avid knitter so if I get through these next test/scan and I can tell her I imagine she will be off buying patterns
@ChikiTIKI how exciting about possible movements and a little bump. DH saw me sitting at out dinner table Friday and said My god you look pregnant. Apparently if I sit like that at work everyone will guess - cue loose jumpers and big cardigans for the week ahead!
@Beaglemum93 wow 31 weeks, that's a great milestone, sorry you have to repeat the GTT, I will have that pleasure later on if we get there!